106
Gap
Walter was amazing. Indeed, the ladies of Maderke hadn’t forgotten Walter. When I say ladies, that includes 70-year-old ladies too. Walter is truly the kind of guy who treats 5-year-olds and 95-year-olds exactly like 25-year-old ladies. We were experiencing the miracle demonstrated by the wagging tongue of the great Walter Don Juan from within his shadow.
“Wow, shit. And he still doesn’t have a girlfriend?”
Jealousy begins.
“Being a sadist must be really painful. I should definitely never be one.”
Jealous guy #2.
“You’re being punished for trying to hit women. No, you’ve been cursed to become a sadist because you hook up with any woman indiscriminately.”
The trash-talker. (Jay Wu.)
“How is being a sadist a curse? Isn’t being a sadist or gay or whatever all the same thing?”
This fucking bastard.
When I gave a menacing look at the guy who dragged perfectly normal me into this, he hurriedly turned his face away from me. I went beside him and put my arm around his shoulders, and he stiffened.
“What? Say it again.”
“No, I mean…”
“You mean what?”
“I mean, isn’t being a sadist or gay all the same thing? I mean, being a sadist isn’t that bad, right? I mean… honestly, Walter isn’t doing anything wrong, he’s just working hard. He’s not bothering anyone. Even if he’s a sadist or whatever, he’s doing it with the consent of his partner, so why should we gossip about someone else’s private life…”
“Gossip?”
“Talking like that is…”
His voice trailed off, as if I might stab him in the neck at any moment.
But I was actually quite moved. He’s right, isn’t he? He’s absolutely right. Whether sadist or gay, they’re both minorities. And we shouldn’t constantly criticize people who want to play in their own style with their partners’ consent. Above all, Walter is working hard right now, and we, who aren’t as capable as Walter, are like a bunch of dark bastards sitting around waiting for information that Walter the mother bird will bring to us like baby birds.
“You’re right.”
At my words, the eyes of the guys who were gleaming with “Ooh, will there be bloodshed?” became dull. I lightly patted the shoulder of the teammate who had spoken correctly, let go, and looked at everyone.
“Stop it, you guys. You sound like complete discriminators.”
At those words, one of them who flinched bravely opened his mouth.
“Come on, I’m saying this because we’re close. What discriminator?”
“Then can I also talk about your fucking tiny thing?”
“My, my thing is… average.”
“Stop bullshitting.”
We are close. How close? Close enough to know each other’s penis sizes. Not that we want to know, but there are moments during operations when we see. For example, if you need to take a dump during a stakeout, what do you do? You use a can. And then there comes a moment when it catches your eye.
“Everyone, stop it and focus on the job. If there are things we can say because we’re close, I’ll show you how close we are with some intense skinship.”
No one misunderstands that this skinship is sexual. There might be some who think it would be better if it were sexual. Men think it’s better to be hit than to be sexually harassed? When your life is at stake, I think it’s better to feel a little dirty. Pride and self-respect are luxuries to indulge in only when you have the leisure.
Walter, who had met with all kinds of female informants, finally found a gap.
I smiled as I looked through the telescope at the gap Walter had found. Yes, let me say it again, pride is something you indulge in only when you have leisure, and after today, there will never be a time when the word “pride” can enter Yudorov’s life again.
There’s a large sign attached to the Canaris headquarters building.
‘Laundry Factory.’
This laundry factory hasn’t been open for two whole days. There’s a large door, but the people occasionally seen all went in and out only through a small back door. It’s a brick building, quite old, so the bricks were not red but almost black, and there was a tar-like substance stuck all over them.
Look at how they’ve perfectly placed CCTVs with no blind spots, for a laundry factory no less. But what can they do? We’ve found the ‘gap.’
Walter and I parked our motorcycles with helmets on, and the two women who had been clinging to each of us jumped off and greeted the guards like acquaintances.
“Oh, boys. Thank you for ordering from our shop again today.”
The woman who had been most angry when we told her that the guys stuck in this laundry factory were Canaris bastards smiled brightly. According to our once legendary senior, now our representative bastard Mesmer, “In general, women are more advantageous and talented at spying than men.” There are those who agree and those who oppose this statement (our company has far more male employees), but for this woman at least, Mesmer’s words seem applicable. The woman who found out that the Canaris bastards were her regular customers said she would actively cooperate, and now she was smiling more brightly than ever.
“Hello. But I see some unfamiliar men?”
Restaurant employee #2, full of a sense of justice, answered.
“Ugh, we were trying to go on a date, but the boss told us to deliver this on the way. It’s so tiresome, really.”
“Oh my.”
Restaurant employee #1 hugged me and then kissed the forehead part of my helmet with an audible “chu” sound.
“I barely got my boyfriend to come along even though he’s annoyed. Ah, what kind of service is this in the middle of everything.”
“Oh, there’s a service?”
“Yes, but you boys need to eat it properly. You mix it with this sauce. You have to mix it well. Otherwise, it becomes too rich. After mixing it properly, not sticky, not sloppy, but just when it feels moist, you add lemon here, but the top part is a bit bitter. So squeeze it once, throw away the top part, and squeeze hard. And for this seasoning, add 1/3 spoon…”
This operation was planned by the two restaurant employees. I was against it. No matter how difficult it sounded, could such a thing really breach that security? But the employees told us to wait and see. They said they would definitely breach this security and bring us inside.
I thought it wouldn’t work, but surprisingly, the guards had a dazed expression at the employee’s explanation. Seeing that face, employee #2 clicked her tongue, saying, “Fine, eat it however you want. But it might be a bit sour and salty. If you eat it properly, it’s really delicious, what a shame.” The two employees gestured for us to come, and like boyfriends carrying heavy things for their girlfriends, we walked with our hands full of things wrapped in plastic and handed them to the guards. The amount was so enormous that the guards couldn’t even hold them properly, but as the employees had instructed us earlier, we didn’t help them and put them down on the ground. Employee #1 acted cute with me.
“Honey, let’s go quickly.”
The guards’ eyes were wavering. I confirmed their eyes and turned my back. Behind me, the guards asked.
“Uh, uh. Don’t tell me the service is all 18 portions? This much?”
“Of course! The boss said he’s so grateful. So grateful that he made employees going on a date work. Anyway, have a good day, boys!”
Employee #1 waved goodbye and turned her back, and employee #2 had already pulled Walter onto the motorcycle and was sticking closely to Walter’s back. Then the guards pondered frantically, and one of them shouted.
“This, do this before you go! We can’t eat this!”
Employee #1, who had her back turned, glanced at me. A smile appeared on her face. Her eyes were triumphantly shining with “See, I told you so.”
Employee #1 didn’t turn around immediately. She stalled for a bit. 2 seconds? 3 seconds? And then she slightly turned her head.
“Ah… it’s really hard to get off work today…”
Her face was full of regret. Looking at employee #2, she had an openly displeased face and was sticking closely to Walter’s back. It looked as if she was whispering, “Let’s just go.” Employee #1 shouted.
“Hey, what are you doing! Hurry up and help! How can I do all 18 portions by myself!”
At her shrill shout, employee #2 said, “Ah, really!” with annoyance and got off the motorcycle. When Walter remained sitting calmly on the motorcycle, employee #2 got angry.
“Are you just going to sit there? Your girlfriend is working so hard, and you can’t even think of helping? Huh?! You’ve eaten this too. At least pretend to help!”
Immediately, employee #1 linked arms with me.
“My boyfriend is so nice that he’ll naturally help me, right?”
When I nodded, she took me with her arm linked with mine and pushed me towards the items that were still on the ground because the guards hadn’t picked them up yet. I naturally picked them up.
I carried the amount that the guards couldn’t, and employee #2 was scolding her boyfriend, telling him to work too. The guards shouldn’t let anyone in, but the faces of employees #1 and #2 were familiar to them. And at the point where they let those two in, the rule of “don’t let anyone in” was already broken. The psychological resistance had collapsed, so it was visible that they thought it would be okay to let in a couple more people.
I didn’t think such a haphazard method would work, but it was surprising. I felt like I understood why it worked. These guards weren’t trained. They were ordinary people who had been manipulated by Canaris’s glib tongue. So they would do anything once they concluded that “this should be okay” in their minds. It was a gap that would never exist with professionals.
Employee #1 was confident in the success of this operation because she had been inside the laundry factory twice. She said that while they normally never let people in, they readily pulled people inside for trivial reasons that were inconvenient for them, like wanting to remove stains on clothes or wanting to warm up leftover food and eat together. I tried this after hearing that, but I didn’t expect it to work so well. With Walter being scolded by employee #2 and me being praised by employee #1, we took our steps into the somewhat dark laundry factory.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
