Chapter 95
The meat restaurant closed at 2 AM. Si-yul took a late-night bus and sat in an empty seat. He dozed off briefly, only to be woken by the driver announcing the last stop. Rubbing his eyes, he got off the bus.
From the bus stop, he climbed an uphill road and turned into a narrower alley where his inn was located. Si-yul dragged his leaden body up the hill. Being early morning, the surroundings were quiet with little light seeping out of the buildings. The streetlights were dim, making the road much darker than usual.
It was time to enter the alley. He walked along the wall covered with crude graffiti and marks where loan shark stickers had been attached and removed. In the dark alley, only the old inn’s sign emitted a faint light.
As he walked in, Si-yul stopped abruptly. A large figure stood against the wall next to the inn.
The cigarette glowed a deep red before fading as the man removed it from his lips. A cloud of smoke dispersed into the air. The familiar smell of cigarettes and the familiar scent – Hyun-se wasn’t hiding the fact that he had come.
Sleepiness vanished instantly. Si-yul had never once thought that Hyun-se would be here, that he would come looking for him. He had dreamed of accidentally running into him or crossing paths, but it was just a dream, a vain hope.
He might be seeing things due to fatigue. Si-yul pressed his eyelids firmly and looked up.
Hyun-se was still there. Upon noticing Si-yul, he flicked his long-remaining cigarette into a nearby bin. Si-yul lowered his gaze and walked, just as he had done with Tae-joo. He wanted to pass by pretending not to know him. His heart wanted to run down the hill and hide until Hyun-se disappeared, but he knew he’d be caught if he tried to escape now.
“Let’s talk for a bit.”
It was before Si-yul could pass by Hyun-se. He should have ignored him and kept walking, but his feet stuck to the ground on their own, even though Hyun-se hadn’t grabbed his arm.
“I have nothing to say.”
He lowered his voice so others wouldn’t hear. The rusty iron gate creaked as he opened it. He just needed to slip his body through the opening.
“It won’t take long.”
There were many excuses to refuse. He could say he was tired, that he didn’t want to see him, that he had nothing to discuss and firmly push him away. But none of these came out of Si-yul’s mouth. Words that reached the tip of his tongue retreated when he smelled the intense scent.
“…What do you want to say?”
“Not here.”
“No. Just say it here. You said it won’t take long.”
Hyun-se stared down at him intently. He rubbed his chin and mouth with his large hand and composed his expression as Si-yul glanced up.
The cigarette smell was stronger than before. The vague outline of his face in the light seemed sharper than before. Most notably, there was a long wound on his cheekbone. It looked like a scratch, with a greenish bruise around it.
He had left it exposed without even putting a bandage on it. Si-yul wanted to ask why he was hurt, wanted to offer to treat it. But he swallowed the words along with his saliva. They were no longer close enough for him to ask such questions comfortably.
Hyun-se didn’t speak immediately, letting the silence linger. Si-yul stared at the ground, clutching his bag strap. He wanted this to end quickly. It wasn’t just because he was tired. Hyun-se’s tangible presence and scent were overwhelming for Si-yul.
The inn’s sign light flickered. It felt like 10 minutes had passed. In reality, it was probably less than 1 or 2 minutes.
“If you have nothing to say…”
“—Move to a different place.”
As soon as Si-yul, unable to wait any longer, began to speak, Hyun-se cut to the chase. Si-yul, who had been avoiding eye contact, looked at him directly for the first time.
“What?”
“I said, move to a different place.”
“Why?”
“I’ve found a place near the station. It’ll be more convenient for commuting than here.”
Si-yul asked again, not understanding, but Hyun-se continued speaking, seemingly indifferent to Si-yul’s response.
“I don’t want to.”
“Why? Even a semi-basement would be better than this place.”
“Where I live is none of your business anymore, Mr. CEO. Don’t concern yourself with it.”
“I’m just getting you a room. I won’t bother you, Kwon Si-yul. I won’t even visit.”
“…”
“Just until you get settled.”
“Why? Why go to such lengths?”
“…”
“There’s no need for that.”
They were over now. If he had said it was the last time, he shouldn’t have come looking like this. After all the resolve it took to let go of his hand and leave.
There was no point in continuing the conversation. He turned to go inside. If only he hadn’t heard that name, spoken almost like a whisper.
“Kwon Yuwon.”
Si-yul stopped in his tracks. Following the advice to refrain from contact until it was safe, he hadn’t even told Yuwon that he had left Hyun-se’s house. Perhaps, in a way, he had trusted Hyun-se. Even if Si-yul had left, he thought that such a responsible person wouldn’t abandon Yuwon so quickly.
“He needs a safe place to stay until things are settled. There’s no other reason.”
“But last time, you said he was safe now…”
“Not yet.”
If it were just him, it wouldn’t matter, but with Yuwon involved, the situation changed. They could stay at the inn together, but for safety, it would be much better to move into the house Hyun-se had prepared.
On the other hand, he was suspicious. He couldn’t understand why Hyun-se was being so kind to him. The previous store he had worked at was also run by Hyun-se’s ex-lover. Should he consider it a habit of Hyun-se to look after past connections?
Or was he using Yuwon as an excuse to try and hold onto Si-yul again?
He almost shook his head. That couldn’t be. Hyun-se wasn’t the type to carelessly say it was the last time, and Si-yul didn’t want to harbor such futile hope.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Do you need time?”
He couldn’t help but recall the past at those words. The gently flowing river, the cool autumn breeze, the conversation they had shared sitting side by side. Si-yul squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them, as if trying to shake off the memories.
“Yes.”
He wanted to leave now. He was so tired he felt like he might collapse at any moment. Physical exhaustion was secondary. Just standing on his own two feet next to Hyun-se was draining his mental energy in chunks.
Hyun-se held Si-yul back with his words. Si-yul turned around, gripping the iron gate.
“Reduce your jobs to one.”
How did he know about that? Perhaps Tae-joo had run to tell him. Although he had said he wouldn’t contact him, their blood ties meant that the relationship with Hyun-se probably wouldn’t be cut off so easily.
“If you’re short on money, just say so. If it’s hard, I can—”
“I like the work I’m doing now. It’s not that hard, and I can manage.”
He swallowed the words that it wasn’t work he was doing for money. He didn’t want to reveal that he was overworking himself because everything reminded him of Hyun-se.
“I’m going in.”
There was nothing left to hold onto. Si-yul crossed the threshold. He closed the iron gate and entered the narrow corridor past the counter. The end room was where he was staying.
Instead of passing through the cluttered corridor, Si-yul stood still on the spot. Although he was tired to the point of fainting, his ears were perked up, monitoring the situation outside. If there was even a faint smell of cigarettes, if there was even a slight mix of that scent, he wanted to breathe it in deeply.
But no scent came through. It was clean, as if deliberately erased. Soon, the sound of steady footsteps came from beyond the wall, into the corridor. The rhythm was constant, without any hesitation in leaving. Si-yul didn’t move until that sound completely disappeared.
He then entered his room. He carelessly threw his bag in the corner and went into the bathroom. His face was reflected in the mirror. Fortunately, he hadn’t cried. His eyes weren’t welling up with tears, nor were the whites of his eyes red. But his face was a mess.
He looked like a balloon inflated to its limit, ready to burst at the slightest touch, or like dark, swollen clouds about to pour down. Gaunt cheeks, hollow eyes – it wasn’t just a look created by fatigue.
“He said I looked good.”
He didn’t look that way at all. His chest felt tight and numb. He tapped the painful area with his palm, then looked back at the mirror. There were stains all over the mirror that wouldn’t come off no matter how hard he rubbed. Knowing they wouldn’t come off, he still wiped at them unnecessarily with his sleeve. It felt as if those stains were stuck to his face, eyes, and heart.
No matter how hard he wiped, the stains remained. Si-yul gave up the futile effort and lowered his arm. He crouched down and turned on the water. Water flowed into the basin.
Droplets like raindrops fell into it. Telling himself it was just because the small bathroom quickly filled with moisture, that it was just water droplets from the ceiling falling down, Si-yul rubbed his eyes as if wiping the mirror. But still, the stains wouldn’t come off.
