Chapter 85
“Hyung, are you living with Woo Hyun-se now?”
The name coming naturally from Woo Tae-joo’s mouth felt strange. Si-yul, his cheeks flushed from alcohol, nodded slowly. He felt there was nothing to hide anymore, having already cried like a child after the concert and confessed that the person he liked was Woo Hyun-se.
“Last time, I couldn’t get in touch with you, so I went to ask. I wondered if he might be holding you captive.”
“You went to see the CEO?”
“Yes. I almost died though.”
Si-yul’s eyes widened in surprise, wondering what could have happened. Woo Tae-joo just frowned and rubbed his neck area. He even exaggerated, saying the place where he was grabbed still hurt. Si-yul wondered if Woo Hyun-se had choked him. It was hard to imagine now, but thinking back to the early days, it wasn’t impossible.
“Did you two fight?”
“It wasn’t exactly a fight,” Woo Tae-joo said as he poured wine into Si-yul’s empty glass. He then filled his own glass and downed it in one go, like soju.
“I was one-sidedly beaten. It’s embarrassing, but I’m no match for him. That Woo Hyun-se, he’s practically a martial arts fighter, just never competed.”
“My ears used to look like dumplings too. All the blood was drained and they were reshaped, so there’s no trace left now,” he added, touching his own earlobe.
“I just hurt my neck a bit.”
“Really?”
Si-yul had worried that there might have been a knife fight. When he expressed concern, Woo Tae-joo insisted it was nothing now and opened his shirt collar to show him. Maybe because of the dim lighting, his neck looked perfectly fine. Woo Tae-joo pointed to his skin, saying there had been a dark bruise here. He added that his neck had been swollen and he’d suffered for a few days.
Si-yul was curious about what Woo Tae-joo could have said to make Woo Hyun-se react so violently. He was about to ask, but seeing Woo Tae-joo’s expression darken as if recalling that time, he kept his mouth shut.
“Hyung, I’m going to study abroad.”
“Suddenly? Where to?”
“Canada. I was originally planning to go after graduation, but the timing has been moved up.”
It was a completely different world from Si-yul’s. Is this a good thing, he wondered. Should he congratulate him or offer words of encouragement for the hardships he might face in a foreign country? After a moment’s hesitation, Si-yul chose the former. Woo Tae-joo came from a wealthy family, so he’d probably live well and enjoy himself wherever he went without worrying about money.
“Congratulations. It’s a good thing… right?”
Unsure, he ended with a question mark. Seeing Si-yul’s serious expression, Woo Tae-joo laughed heartily.
“I guess… it should be seen as a good thing. Hyung, if you ever get tired of life in Korea, come visit me. Free accommodation, free food. Ah, I’ll even send you the plane ticket.”
“That’s very kind of you. Is it okay for me to just receive when I haven’t done anything for you?”
The day he might fly on a plane could come someday, but it felt like a distant future. Or he might never be able to leave Korea. In the past, he had dreamed of traveling to far-off places across the sea. But now, it was slowly time to wake up from that dream.
“Just don’t bring Woo Hyun-se when you come. That’s all I ask.”
Si-yul chuckled. Now he could laugh at such jokes. Perhaps after confirming that Kwon Yuwon was safe, a tiny bit of ease had entered his heart. But unlike the laughter that escaped his lips, his solar plexus felt sour as if something was lodged there, and he pressed it firmly with his fingertips.
His chest felt tight. Even when he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, it felt like dark water was lapping just below his nose.
Woo Tae-joo swirled the wine glass in his hand. He moistened his dry lips with the alcohol, then his mouth moved as if he had something to say. As the next song began, he hesitantly opened his mouth.
“Actually… meeting you today. It was to sort out my feelings.”
“Sort out your feelings?”
“Yes. I confessed to you before, remember?”
Si-yul nodded. Of course, he remembered. And also how Woo Tae-joo had consistently approached him, unable to let go of his lingering feelings even after being rejected.
“I used to believe that no tree wouldn’t fall after ten strikes. Naturally, I didn’t want to give up on you just because of one rejection.”
“But,” Woo Tae-joo emptied his glass. When Si-yul tried to pour for him, he shook his head and grabbed the bottle himself. This too seemed part of his attempt to clear his mind. Just like how Si-yul had once refused Woo Hyun-se’s offer to wash him and entered the bathroom alone. He poured more than before.
“That’s only when it’s a game.”
“A game?”
Woo Tae-joo, who had been staring at the glass in front of him, looked up. He met Si-yul’s eyes and smiled faintly.
“I thought a lot. I didn’t want to lose like this. How should I do it, what can I do, I couldn’t sleep properly for days worrying about such things. But no matter how much I racked my brains, there was no answer. There was nothing I could do.”
Si-yul listened silently. Woo Tae-joo closed his eyes for a moment, seemingly recalling the helplessness of that time. His eyelids trembled slightly.
“If I try to strike even once more, let alone ten times, it won’t be your neck that gets cut, but mine.”
“…”
“So I decided to give up. I didn’t realize it, but I’m quite selfish. I’m the kind of bastard who puts self-preservation before love.”
Woo Tae-joo rested his chin on his hand and raised the corners of his mouth. It was a smile no different from usual, but perhaps due to the lighting, it looked a bit bitter.
“Ah, I’m leaving after my birthday. I’m having a birthday party, and you must come too, hyung. I’ll contact you.”
As if he had never been serious, Woo Tae-joo grinned mischievously, showing his teeth. Si-yul’s tense expression relaxed as well.
Would Woo Hyun-se allow it? Still, since Woo Tae-joo was going to study abroad and they wouldn’t see each other for a long time, Si-yul felt sorry to refuse. He quickly nodded.
“Of course, I should go. When is your birthday?”
“That’s a secret. I’ll tell you later. It wouldn’t be fun if I told you now.”
Woo Tae-joo leaned back, promising to reveal it in the future. Si-yul didn’t press for more information.
The half-full wine bottle was soon empty, and Yang Hye-na, who had fallen asleep, stirred and opened her bleary eyes. An employee who had been cleaning other tables approached and gently informed them that it was almost closing time. It was time to head back.
Since the drinking party ended earlier than expected, it wasn’t too late when they arrived home. Si-yul had assumed Woo Hyun-se would naturally be at the office. However, the living room lights were brightly lit. Could there be anyone other than the homeowner on the sofa?
As Si-yul hesitated at the entrance, Woo Hyun-se looked up. He was wearing glasses and holding a tablet, seemingly in the middle of work.
It was a scene Si-yul had seen before. When he was confined to his room, he had seen it while Woo Hyun-se worked from home.
Si-yul nervously gripped the hand warmer in his pocket. He squeezed and released the now lukewarm pack like a soft rubber ball, wiping the cold sweat from his palms.
“Did you have a good time?”
“Yes. You’re home early today.”
“Why are you standing there instead of coming in?”
Woo Hyun-se put down the tablet and stood up. He took off his glasses, placing them on the table, and walked steadily towards Si-yul. Why did he feel guilty when he hadn’t done anything wrong? As his lips dried up, he bit them and took a step back.
“I heard you met Yang Hye-na.”
“Yes. …And one more person came.”
Feeling preemptively guilty, Si-yul volunteered the information. Woo Hyun-se quietly reached out and fiddled with Si-yul’s collar.
“Who?”
The image of Woo Tae-joo touching his neck flashed through Si-yul’s mind. It seemed there was nothing to gain by mentioning it. He was about to answer “just a friend,” but then decided to be honest as there was nothing to hide. However, as he hesitated, a large hand gently gripped his chin and lifted it.
“Who.”
The hand was touching his chin, but it felt like his throat was being squeezed. His Adam’s apple bobbed nervously. Would he end up with bruises like Woo Tae-joo?
“Tae-joo.”
Woo Hyun-se didn’t seem surprised. He seemed to have known already. Either the bodyguard who went with them had reported back, or Woo Tae-joo might have told him directly.
Si-yul’s head naturally lowered. The hand gripping his jaw tightened. His head was forcibly tilted back. The suddenly activated sensor light hurt his eyes. With his vision partially obscured by his squinting and the backlight casting shadows, he could barely see Woo Hyun-se.
“Si-yul,” Woo Hyun-se called softly. He let out a deep sigh and removed his hand, burying his forehead in Si-yul’s shoulder. The hand that had seemed about to leave marks on his chin now moved down to grip his forearm. As if Si-yul might run out the door from here, he held both sides firmly.
“I’m being lenient because I don’t want you to feel suffocated, but you should be selective about who you meet.”
He rubbed his head against Si-yul’s shoulder like a child seeking attention and then looked up. Their faces were close enough for their noses to touch. Si-yul wanted to move away. If only it weren’t for the hand that had traveled from his forearm up his back to cradle the back of his head.
“Woo Tae-joo is not okay.”
“Are other people okay then?”
At the question that slipped out without thinking, Woo Hyun-se quietly stared at Si-yul. Si-yul met his gaze unflinchingly.
“No.”
The hand that had been buried in his hair like a rake slid down like a snake to the front of his neck. Si-yul’s Adam’s apple was lightly pressed by the ample grasp, and long fingers encircled his neck. A gap formed between Si-yul’s lips as he tried to inhale the insufficient air.
“None of them are okay.”
Suddenly, Si-yul was reminded of a roe deer he had seen as a child. On a winter day when the snow was piled up to his knees, a dead roe deer found on the mountain behind the orphanage. A sturdy snare, recently set, was caught on its dry ankle where frost-like snow had settled. The deer must have struggled desperately to escape, as the coiled wire had pierced through fur, skin, and muscle to bind the white bone.
Unexpectedly, this hand seemed like that snare from back then. The trap that had cut through flesh and exposed bone white as snow now seemed to loom before his own neck.
