Chapter 65
About 10 minutes’ walk from the orphanage into the mountains, there was an abandoned reservoir. It was a place where new summer grasses grew thickly over the dead weeds from winter. The grass, though not reeds, was so tall that when children buried themselves in it, even the tops of their heads would be hidden.
The wire fence put up to keep people out had rusted to an iron-rich soil color, with small holes made by occasional trespassers who secretly threw garbage or came to fish.
Every summer, two or three people drowned, and rumors spread that it was due to vicious water ghosts, so villagers rarely ventured there. Si-yul was one of them. Even when the orphanage children went there for courage tests, Si-yul absolutely refused to go near it, even if it meant being cursed at or hit.
The only time he had gone was once when Kwon Yuwon took him by the hand in broad daylight, saying they would just look from afar and then tell the other kids they had gone.
Unusually, Si-yul was standing in front of that reservoir now. As typical for dewy autumn, the fallen leaves underfoot were damp and slippery. The humid air, the fishy smell of stagnant water, and the eerie cries of animals from somewhere crawled over his skin like insects. The mist rising from the reservoir wavered hazily like a woman’s white skirt.
Not knowing why he was standing there, Si-yul blankly stared at the reservoir. Though there was no wind and the water was calm, the fog settling on it was incredibly thick.
Something touched his shoulder with a thud. Only then did he turn around, startled. A figure suddenly emerged from the dense fog where he couldn’t see even a foot ahead. Seeing a familiar face, Si-yul lowered the hand that had been clutching his chest and sighed in relief.
“Make some noise next time. You scared me.”
Kwon Yuwon was behind Si-yul. He was smiling broadly as usual, then turned his head towards the reservoir. For some reason, that faint profile filled Si-yul with unease. Afraid he might dissolve into the mist, Si-yul quickly grabbed his hand.
“What are you doing not going in?”
“What?”
“I asked what you’re doing not going in.”
Kwon Yuwon said something uncharacteristically nonsensical. Not understanding the joke, Si-yul laughed and replied,
“Why would I go in there?”
“Then I’ll go in first.”
With that, he shook off Si-yul’s hand and strode into the water. He didn’t care that his sneakers were getting soaked and his pant legs were getting wet. Si-yul hastily reached out, but his fingertips only grazed Yuwon’s clothes by a hair’s breadth.
“Kwon Yuwon, are you crazy? Get out of there right now!”
Even though Si-yul shouted loudly, Kwon Yuwon didn’t look back. He waded into the water as if walking on flat ground, parting the waves carelessly. Si-yul wanted to jump in too. He needed to shout and grab Yuwon by the collar to drag him out if necessary.
But his feet seemed rooted to the ground, not budging an inch. His body felt heavy as if paralyzed. He tried to shout “Yuwon—!” but his voice couldn’t escape his throat. It felt like a very fine net was tangled around his arms, legs, and throat.
His eyes burned hot, then tears gushed out. He struggled and writhed, but his feet remained stuck to the ground.
Meanwhile, the fog slowly devoured Kwon Yuwon. Even his head, which had been above water, gradually submerged.
He needed to hurry, he needed to crawl if he had to, but he didn’t understand why his body wouldn’t listen. Si-yul collapsed on the ground, scratching at the earth and crying. He looked around and tried to call for help, but not only did no sound come out, there wasn’t even an echo as if the air had disappeared. Only wet, rotten leaves caught under his nails piled up like a mountain in front of his knees.
“…won!”
He opened his eyes with a gasp. The pounding sound was like thunder. Clutching his chest, Si-yul bolted upright. The sound of his rough breathing reached his eardrums. The sheet wrapped in his fist was damp with his own sweat.
The phone alarm was loud. Usually, he would have found it annoying, complaining that it was already time to get up, but today he was more grateful than ever. Si-yul fumbled for his phone on the table and turned off the alarm with both hands.
“A dream…”
He bent over, catching his breath. The fishy smell still vibrated in his nostrils as if he hadn’t escaped the reservoir yet. His shirt clung to his skin, probably from sweating in his sleep, making him feel uncomfortably like he had been pulled out of water.
After calming his rapid breathing, he looked up. It was the familiar bedroom. Only then did he let out a sigh of relief. It was all just a dream. The misty reservoir, Kwon Yuwon walking into that reservoir.
The space beside him was empty. He remembered Woo Hyun-se coming in briefly at dawn. He had moved Si-yul from the sofa to the bed and indulged his childish whims.
Lying down, Si-yul felt around beside him as if searching for the vanished warmth. The sheet under his hand felt cooler than usual. He buried his nose in the sheet hoping to find even a trace of scent, but there was nothing.
It would be so nice if he were here right now.
He still felt like damp mist was clinging to his back. As if shaking off the nightmare, Si-yul lowered his legs from the bed. His body felt heavy, so he sat like that for a moment before staggering towards the bathroom. He struggled to take off his sweat-soaked clothes and turned on the shower. The rising steam reminded him of the mist in his dream, making him shudder.
Don’t they say dreams are the opposite of reality? The nightmare was just an illusion created by his anxious mind after not seeing Kwon Yuwon for a long time and seeing the drug reports. Even trying to comfort himself, the chill on his spine wouldn’t go away.
He turned up the water temperature and stood under it for a long time. Only after his entire skin had turned a rosy peach color did he leave the bathroom. Looking at the clock, it was just the right time to be late if he didn’t hurry to get ready. Si-yul roughly dried his hair with a hairdryer and put on whatever clothes caught his eye. As he was about to dash through the living room, he paused, noticing an unfamiliar object on the dining table.
He turned towards it without realizing. There was a covered dish and a note. The handwriting, neat but with the ends of vowel strokes rising sharply like a sharpened knife, was Woo Hyun-se’s, which he had seen in passing before.
“Eat before you go”
Opening the cover revealed nicely browned toast, green grapes, and eggs arranged prettily. He must have come at dawn and left earlier than Si-yul, but when did he prepare this? His chest swelled with emotion, and although he knew he should hurry, Si-yul couldn’t move his feet.
“This isn’t the time.”
Si-yul took a bite of toast and then, as if suddenly remembering, picked up his phone. Soon, a click sounded, and a picture of himself biting into the toast appeared on the phone screen. It wasn’t bad for a hurried shot. He sent the photo to Woo Hyun-se and then typed diligently with both hands.
[Thank you hyung the toast is really delicious I couldn’t eat it all because I’m busy but I’ll eat more when I come back later]
He pressed send. Si-yul hesitated, holding the phone even after sending just one message. There was something else he wanted to add.
Si-yul typed “I l” then deleted it, typed “I love” then deleted it again. It wasn’t like he didn’t know how to spell it, but he fumbled before finally completing the sentence “I love you.” But he didn’t send it. Even though it was just words, saying that felt incredibly embarrassing.
He still lacked the courage. Thinking that the day would come soon when he could say those words directly to Woo Hyun-se, Si-yul popped a grape into his mouth and quickly left the house. The slightly soggy bread tasted sweeter and more savory than any bread he had ever eaten.
Was it because of the unsettling dream? He kept making mistakes at the store. He put in an order for tomato pasta when olive oil pasta was ordered, and threw forks and knives into the trash can. Only after washing his face with cold water and slapping his cheeks did he manage to get his wandering mind back.
Today, time seemed to crawl especially slowly until closing. It wasn’t just because it was slow. Si-yul would put in one order, glance at the changing room, clean one table, and peek at the changing room again. More precisely, he was concerned about the phone he had left in his locker. He was curious about what reply Woo Hyun-se had sent to the picture he had impulsively sent, and above all, he wanted to know if there had been any contact from Kwon Yuwon.
Before coming to work, he had called Kwon Yuwon. He had little hope that he would answer. As expected, it went to voicemail, and Si-yul sent a barrage of texts instead. Saying things like, “I had a bad dream, is everything okay?” and “Please let me know if anything’s wrong.” He hoped that Yuwon would at least check the messages.
Maybe because it was nearing the end of the year, everyone was in a hurry with prior engagements despite the late closing time. The kitchen side had finished early, and the manager had only briefly shown her face when opening before disappearing. There was no performance today, so Woo Tae-joo and Yang Hye-na hadn’t come in either.
“Well then, Si-yul, I’ll head out first.”
The bartender, who had plans the next day, finished cleaning up earlier than Si-yul. Coming out of the changing room and wrapping his scarf, the bartender said goodbye. Si-yul nodded his head as he straightened up after tying the garbage bag.
“Give me that. I’ll throw it away on my way.”
“No, your hands will get dirty, hyung. I’ll do it myself.”
“I’m going that way anyway. Hand it over.”
Feeling guilty about leaving before Si-yul, the bartender insisted on taking the garbage bag. Before Si-yul could stop him, he quickly walked out the store door and waved playfully through the small glass window.
“Geez,” Si-yul scratched the back of his head and finished the rest of the cleanup. He had done most of it in between work, so there wasn’t much left to do. He carefully lowered the blinds, left only the bar lights on, and dashed into the changing room. He took out his phone from the locker first.
But after checking his messages, he hung his head. Disappointment hit the back of his head. There were no messages from anyone except Woo Tae-joo. The picture he sent to Woo Hyun-se was marked as read but had no reply, and the messages he sent to Kwon Yuwon still had numbers next to them.
