Chapter 64
“Should we try to find out?”
“Didn’t you say you’d be very busy?”
“It’s not that difficult to look into someone.”
Si-yul’s face immediately brightened. If it was Woo Hyun-se, he could quickly find out where Kwon Yuwon was and what he was doing. However, the sparkle in his eyes soon dimmed. He could clearly envision Yuwon throwing a fit the moment he learned that Si-yul was living with an alpha.
But was that really the issue? Si-yul’s worry for Yuwon far outweighed his hesitation to accept Hyun-se’s offer of help. After careful consideration, Si-yul nodded with a solemn resolve.
“Then I’ll ask for your help, hyung.”
He couldn’t be more grateful that Hyun-se was by his side during such a time. The mere thought of being all alone with Yuwon gone sent chills down his spine. Si-yul, overcome by a sudden chill-like unease, stretched out his arms and hugged Hyun-se tightly.
“Thank you. I really have no one but you.”
It was true. With Kwon Yuwon gone, Woo Hyun-se was the only one supporting Si-yul, who felt like he might collapse under the weight of his vague anxiety.
A generous hand ruffled Si-yul’s thick hair. The warmth of their contact seeped through his skin and reached his heart. Si-yul exhaled slowly and burrowed into Hyun-se’s embrace. Though he was still worried about Yuwon, with Hyun-se there, he didn’t feel like the world was about to end.
Despite Hyun-se saying he would be busy, their time together had significantly decreased. Before, they at least had brief moments to chat before Si-yul left for work or after he returned, but now they barely saw each other’s faces except when waking up. Although Hyun-se faithfully sent messages and called, not being able to see him in person made longing accumulate in Si-yul’s heart.
Si-yul sighed deeply while looking at his phone. The number next to the message he had sent to Hyun-se after work remained unchanged. Doesn’t he even have time to check messages? He wanted to go to Hyun-se’s office directly, but ridiculously, he didn’t even know what kind of work Hyun-se did or where he worked.
Looking back, there was much more he didn’t know about Hyun-se than he did. While he knew Hyun-se’s generally kind but sometimes strict and cold personality, his pheromones that were like a winter birch forest but lately gave off a hint of spring buds, and small habits like where he liked to bite and tease during intimate moments, he lacked objective information like how many family members Hyun-se had or what exactly his job was.
Si-yul, having never had a family, usually didn’t ask others if they were an only child, the eldest, or lived alone. He also didn’t pry into their occupations. This was partly because he wasn’t proud of his own job. He thought it best not to broach topics that would require him to answer in return. It was a kind of habit.
But now he was curious. Who were Hyun-se’s family members? Was he the eldest? What did his parents do? What had he done in the past, what was his major, and what exactly was his job?
Si-yul sat on the sofa, wiggling his toes and staring at the TV. He hadn’t noticed when Hyun-se was around, but without him, the house felt empty, vast, and even cold. The heating was set to the usual temperature, but for some reason, the back of his neck felt chilly.
Having no choice, he brought a blanket from the bedroom, wrapped it around himself, and deliberately turned up the TV volume. The boisterous laughter from a variety show filled the lonely living room.
The blue light from the TV reflected in his eyes, but Si-yul couldn’t focus on the chatter of the guests. His mind was filled with memories of times spent with Hyun-se.
It was after they had finished making love, sprawled out on the bed. Lying face down like a drowned corpse, Si-yul had asked Hyun-se in a hoarse voice:
‘What kind of exercise do you do to have such good stamina? I want to do it too.’
At this rate, he felt he might die from exhaustion. Even when Si-yul asked seriously, Hyun-se just shrugged as if it was nothing special.
‘Just consistent exercise?’
‘Gym?’
‘That too.’
‘What else?’
‘Swimming, and occasionally golf or tennis.’
‘Wow…’
With barely enough time to sleep due to work, yet still finding time to exercise, Hyun-se’s day seemed to have 48 hours instead of 24. Si-yul’s ambition to build up his stamina to match Hyun-se’s wilted in the face of such a packed schedule.
Hyun-se chuckled softly and kissed Si-yul’s lower back. As he slowly traced up, as if counting the bones hidden beneath the skin, Si-yul’s cooled body began to heat up again. The afterglow hadn’t fully faded yet.
Feeling like one more round might send him to the afterlife, Si-yul abruptly sat up and hurriedly swung his legs off the bed. He grabbed the first piece of clothing he could find, which turned out to be Hyun-se’s shirt. When he put it on, the cuffs covered his fingers and the hem reached his thighs.
‘What size clothes do you wear?’
Even though Si-yul was used to wearing loose clothes a size too big, Hyun-se’s shirt was more like a blanket than clothing. Si-yul took off the shirt he was wearing and checked the label. It had three Xs in front. For someone of Hyun-se’s build, a smaller size would probably cling too tightly and restrict movement. As he nodded in understanding, Hyun-se, who had approached without him noticing, rested his chin on Si-yul’s shoulder.
‘I tried adjusting my diet to reduce my size before, but it didn’t work. I gave up.’
His voice, whispering right next to Si-yul’s ear, was sensual. The subtly rising scent gradually moistened Si-yul’s insides, which he had thought were completely dry. Before he could fully process the changes in his body, Hyun-se’s hand, slowly climbing up like a snake, grabbed him and helplessly pulled him back onto the bed.
“Ah.”
Just recalling the memory on the bed made Si-yul’s cheeks and ears burn. He rubbed them, trying to erase the heat, and quickly pulled himself out of the reverie.
The time on his phone screen had already changed to a different hour. Maybe Hyun-se wasn’t coming home tonight. Si-yul thought about calling but decided against it, not wanting to bother a busy person and risk annoying him.
Should he wait?
As he was deliberating, a notification popped up on his phone. He quickly picked it up and widened his eyes. It was a message from Woo Hyun-se.
[Go to sleep first]
Just one short sentence. Si-yul pouted and started typing. He wrote “When are you coming home?” then deleted it, wrote “Can’t I wait?” then deleted that too, and finally just sent “Okay” with a suitable emoticon added to avoid seeming too curt.
Despite being told to go to sleep first, Si-yul didn’t go to the bedroom. The bed was too big to sleep in alone. Instead, he curled up on the sofa like a pill bug. Even with the blanket and the warm air rising from the floor, he felt cold, as if a window somewhere in the house was wide open.
He vaguely thought that without Hyun-se, even if the seasons changed and hot summer arrived, he might remain in a cold winter. This thought faded before it could fully form as sleep overcame him. He tried to keep his eyes open but failed. It was an uneasy sleep.
What was meant to be just closing his eyes for a moment turned into falling asleep. Si-yul struggled to open his eyelids as he felt his body being lifted. Before his blurry vision cleared, he recognized who it was by the scent that filled his nostrils. He squeezed his eyes shut once and opened them to see a familiar jawline.
“Hyung…?”
“Are you awake?”
A gentle voice. Si-yul wiggled his toes and rested his head against Hyun-se’s chest, wrapping his arms around his neck.
At first, he had panicked and made a fuss about being put down when Hyun-se carried him, but now his body had adapted to being picked up and carried by Hyun-se. Even when lifted without warning, he would squirm like a child in their father’s arms to find a comfortable position. He had also given up asking to be put down, knowing Hyun-se wouldn’t listen anyway.
“Why are you sleeping in the living room?”
“I was waiting for you…”
His words trailed off sleepily. Si-yul yawned softly and turned his head to look at the clock on the wall. The hour hand was almost at 7.
“I told you to go to sleep first.”
“I didn’t want to sleep alone.”
“How sweet of you to say that.”
Hyun-se placed Si-yul on the bed and carefully covered him with the blanket. He stroked Si-yul’s hair and patted him, telling him to sleep well. Afraid that Hyun-se might leave the room right away, Si-yul quickly reached out and grabbed the hem of his clothes.
“Can’t you stay by my side until I fall asleep?”
He blurted out after hesitating. He had been unsure whether to say this or not. Was it right for an adult over twenty to cling to someone else’s clothes, saying they didn’t want to sleep alone? He had never done this even at the orphanage, but here he was doing it in front of Hyun-se.
Si-yul decided to be a bit more brazen. This was all Hyun-se’s fault. He could have slept peacefully on the sofa, but Hyun-se had woken him up by moving him here, so it was his responsibility to put him back to sleep.
His eyes were wide awake now as he looked up at Hyun-se. With his sleeve tightly gripped in his hand and an earnest look on his face, he resembled a squirrel facing a fresh green grape. Who could resist that? Hyun-se smiled slightly as if finding it ridiculous and took off his coat.
He undressed completely, leaving only his underwear on, and lay down next to Si-yul. As he stretched out his arm, Si-yul rolled over and settled against his side. His body was curled up like it had been on the sofa, but unlike then when he had felt cold, now he looked cozy, as if nestled in a perfectly fitting, comfortable haven.
It was warm.
Si-yul wanted to catch up with Hyun-se and spend time together, but sleepiness clung to his eyelids. His mind was hazy. The sleep that had briefly retreated now washed over Si-yul like a wave.
Unable to resist, Si-yul drifted off to sleep. Unlike when he was in the living room, his heart wasn’t anxious. Hyun-se was beside him. He felt that from now on, as long as he had faith that Hyun-se would return, he could endure sleeping alone.
