Chapter 50
Woo Tae-joo hesitated. His face turned bright red, visible even in the dim light. He cleared his throat and lightly slapped his cheeks. This wasn’t the reaction Si-yul had hoped for. He wished Tae-joo had vehemently denied it. That would have made things easier.
“Ah… I guess I was too obvious. If I had known, I should have confessed first. You figured it out before I could say anything.”
“…”
“You’re right. I like you.”
Tae-joo was as direct as Si-yul had been. Looking down at Si-yul with serious eyes, he confessed. His courage was admirable.
However, Si-yul couldn’t understand why. Someone like Woo Tae-joo probably had a line of potential partners, male or female. Their first meeting hadn’t been great, and Si-yul didn’t think he had any particularly attractive qualities. He tilted his head in confusion.
“Why?”
“It was love at first sight. You looked lonely, sitting by yourself after rejecting others… The more I looked at you, the more I was drawn to you. I wanted to take care of you. Ah, I’m not usually like this. You’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to look after.”
Woo Tae-joo stumbled through his explanation. It sounded similar to what Kwon Yuwon always said about Si-yul. That he couldn’t help but worry about him, like a child wandering alone on a dangerous street. Even now, while away, Yuwon was texting to check on Si-yul.
Perhaps Tae-joo felt the same way Yuwon did about taking care of him. Whether it was sympathy, concern, or genuine affection, Si-yul couldn’t reciprocate. He already had someone in his heart.
“Thank you. But there’s something I didn’t tell you before. When I said I didn’t have a partner…”
Tae-joo was visibly tense, clenching and unclenching his fists. His lips were white from biting them so hard. He stared intensely at Si-yul, then hung his head and glared at the ground. At the mention of Si-yul’s partner, he quickly looked up.
“There is someone I like.”
Si-yul himself didn’t know when he had fallen so deeply. Whether it had seeped in like a drizzle or struck him like lightning at some point. While he wasn’t sure about the timing, one thing was certain.
Si-yul liked Woo Hyun-se. His voice, his warm hands, his gentle smile, his strong embrace, the cool and crisp scent that filled Si-yul’s nose and stomach when he buried his face in Hyun-se’s chest.
He couldn’t help but be drawn to Hyun-se’s thoughtfulness – always keeping drinks on hand for Si-yul even though he didn’t drink himself, or coming to pick him up and drop him off in the dead of night. Even their awkward first meeting and the difficult nights were bearable because it was Hyun-se.
“So I can’t accept your feelings.”
“…”
Tae-joo’s expression hardened. His gaze wavered. He sighed softly, “Ha…” and hung his head, scratching the back of it. Si-yul felt sorry too. But he couldn’t leave things unclear and give false hope. That wouldn’t be right.
Tae-joo took a deep breath and looked up. He hid his gloomy expression and smiled, showing his teeth. But the corners of his mouth kept drooping, and he repeatedly stroked his chin with his hand. His voice trembled slightly. “You really don’t give me a chance,” he muttered, with a hint of disappointment in his voice.
“Still, please continue to hang out with me.”
“Will that be okay?”
“We agreed to be friends, right? That’s… separate from rejection.”
Tae-joo was the first person Si-yul had met and could call a friend, aside from Kwon Yuwon. He didn’t want to lose that over a confession.
“I thought you’d never want to see me again. It would be awkward, after all.”
“No way. I’m not that terrible. Well, I can’t pretend it never happened, but I genuinely want to hang out with you. Just treat me comfortably, like before.”
He added in a playful tone. Si-yul smiled with relief. He didn’t want to lose the new friend he had just made, so this was a good outcome.
“It’s cold out here. Go inside first. I noticed earlier that you seemed to be coming down with something. …I’ll just have a cigarette and then come in.”
Tae-joo took out his cigarette pack and held the iron door open for Si-yul. With a lighter heart, Si-yul waved goodbye and slipped inside.
The iron door closed with a heavy sound. Tae-joo was left alone, putting a cigarette in his mouth. As he lit it and inhaled, the smile he had shown Si-yul was completely gone from his face.
With a face as cold as the winter night, he took a deep drag and exhaled slowly. It was a habit reminiscent of Woo Hyun-se.
Tae-joo muttered a curse, “Shit,” as he leaned his back against the building wall and slowly crouched down. Was the confession too sudden? If he had approached more gradually, would he have had a chance? He exhaled smoke, regretting that he had acted too hastily, swept up by his emotions.
It was a heavy exhalation, as weighty as a sigh.
* * *
At the store, his body had been fluctuating between hot and cold, but as soon as he arrived home, it was as if nothing had happened. He had even bought fever reducers at the convenience store, but they were no longer needed.
Without even taking them out of his bag, he washed up in warm water first. He was sprawled on the sofa playing games when he heard the front door opening. Si-yul jumped up. His reaction speed was like that of a dog who had been waiting alone all day for its owner and heard the door.
“Welcome back!”
He was especially glad to see him today. Perhaps it was because of the sudden realization of his feelings in the building alley. He rushed to Woo Hyun-se, who was taking off his coat after opening the door, and hugged him around the waist. Standing on his tiptoes, he even planted kisses on his jaw.
Compared to the past when he would simply greet him with a “You’re home” while peeking out his head, this was an extraordinary welcome. It was like a small, fluffy kitten that had been brought home but couldn’t adapt and hid, finally wrapping its bushy tail around its owner’s feet and rubbing against them.
Surprised by the enthusiastic hug, Hyun-se paused for a moment, then dropped his coat on the floor and lifted Si-yul by cupping his bottom. Feeling unsteady with his feet off the ground, Si-yul let out a small yelp and clung tightly to Hyun-se.
“Why are you suddenly being so cute?”
Hyun-se returned the kisses twofold, planting them on Si-yul’s flushed cheeks, smooth forehead, round nose tip, and plump lips as he kicked off his shoes. The shoes that were always neatly placed were now knocked sideways, but neither of them paid attention.
After receiving kisses all over his face, Si-yul buried his face in Hyun-se’s neck. There was a sharp scent, suggesting he had smoked. Just as he had caught a whiff of a different scent in the alley, Si-yul sniffed, wrinkling his nose to try and detect any new scents on Hyun-se.
“Does it smell bad?”
“No. Just… cigarette smell.”
“I forgot to use the deodorizer.”
“You don’t need to spray anything. I like the smell of cigarettes on you.”
Strangely enough. While cigarette smoke from others was acrid and stale, on Hyun-se it was like a fragrance. Sweet and stimulating, it was intoxicating. It made Si-yul want to try smoking himself.
Hyun-se carried Si-yul across the living room with long strides. They quickly reached the sofa. He didn’t put Si-yul down. Instead, he sat Si-yul on his thighs and supported his lower back with interlocked hands.
“Speaking of cigarettes. Should I learn to smoke too?”
It was a casual suggestion, but it earned him a sharp flick on the forehead. Si-yul winced, rubbing the reddened spot in the middle of his forehead. The face looking back at him was deliberately stern.
“Don’t even start with things that are bad for your health.”
“But you smoke, CEO.”
“I’m already a lost cause.”
“That’s not fair. I’m an adult too. I’m going to start smoking from today.”
Feeling wronged and stubborn, Si-yul stood up abruptly. Sure that there would be cigarettes in the coat Hyun-se had thrown off, he turned to go towards it. But before he could take a single step, he was caught and plopped back down onto Hyun-se’s thighs.
This time, his back was against Hyun-se’s chest. Hyun-se wrapped his arm around Si-yul’s lower abdomen and pressed his chin firmly on top of Si-yul’s head.
“No. Kwon Si-yul needs to live longer than me.”
“What about you? You’re older than me, shouldn’t you be taking better care of your health?”
Hyun-se chuckled. The vibration traveled down Si-yul’s head. Si-yul raised his hand to scratch his chest absently. Though it was his head that was resonating, the voice seeping into his ears rippled from somewhere lower, like waves.
“I was born with good health, so don’t worry about it.”
“I wasn’t worried…”
To hear about health concerns from someone who devoured him every time they were intimate was startling. Si-yul, who secretly prayed for Hyun-se’s stamina and virility to decrease, was taken aback. He tried to explain, but seeing the hand slowly creeping down his body, he swallowed his words.
The hand fondled his thigh, exposed by the short, loose pants he was wearing, then delved between them. Having just showered and wearing only thin pants without underwear, Si-yul felt Hyun-se’s fingertips brush directly against his core.
“Nngh…”
Instinctively, he tried to close his legs, but Hyun-se nibbled on his earlobe. Si-yul moaned in pain, and Hyun-se gently caressed the soft, sensitive skin of his inner thigh with his large, pan-like hand.
