After rolling around for a long while, the lingering sensation of the dream finally subsided. Kim Min-seok stared blankly at the two phones. Then, picking up the new one, he sent a text to the number he remembered as Kim Min-seok’s.
[Seo Ha-yoon. Are you crazy?]
A moment after pressing send, the broken phone buzzed. A new message appeared in the inbox.
[Seo Ha-yoon. Are you crazy?]
It was the exact text he had just sent.
There was no longer any room for doubt. He was Seo Ha-yoon. For a brief moment, he wondered if the two men had conspired to deceive him. But no matter how much he thought about it, there was no reason for them to go that far.
“Seo Ha-yoon, come out. Seo Ha-yoon, come out.”
Kim Min-seok tightly shut his eyes and muttered repeatedly, almost like a prayer. Since they had mentioned dissociative identity disorder, then Seo Ha-yoon’s personality must be hidden somewhere inside him. But no matter how much he called or struggled, Seo Ha-yoon did not emerge. At least, from what he could feel, the only person inside this body was Kim Min-seok.
Eventually, exhausted, he picked up his phone again and searched for information on dissociative identity disorder.
Extreme childhood stress and abuse as causes. Memory loss. Memory gaps. Depression and anxiety. Self-harm tendencies.
Among the long list of symptoms, traces of Seo Ha-yoon surfaced one by one.
Am I really just one of Seo Ha-yoon’s personalities?
Kim Min-seok asked himself. The objective evidence all pointed to that conclusion. No matter how many times he reevaluated or rechecked, the answer remained the same.
“Alright. Let’s say I am Seo Ha-yoon.”
He decisively cut his thoughts off there. To be honest, dissociative identity disorder was far more realistic than something like soul-swapping or possession. The fact that he had such a rare condition was astonishing, but for now, this was where he had to start.
“I am Seo Ha-yoon. I am Seo Ha-yoon.”
…Right?
Kim Min-seok kept murmuring it to himself, reinforcing the idea. Then, a new thought struck him.
“If I am Seo Ha-yoon, what am I supposed to do now?”
It was a practical question.
Fine. I’m Seo Ha-yoon. Okay. I got it. But then what? What comes next?
“What do you mean, what’s next? I have to live as Seo Ha-yoon. I’m unemployed, so I need to get a job…”
The thought of finding a job was hopeful. But the next problem was an enormous hurdle.
“Then what about Sang-hyuk and Jun-seo?”
Muttering to himself, Kim Min-seok began rolling around on the bed again. Seo Ha-yoon had caused this mess—but now, that person was actually him. The fact that he had to take responsibility for cleaning it all up made his vision go dark.
What would Seo Ha-yoon have done? How would he have reacted when caught cheating?
He thought about it for a long time, but he couldn’t figure it out.
…No, considering the utterly shameless personality he had seen in his dream, Seo Ha-yoon might have just brazenly declared that he’d keep seeing both of them and refused to back down.
No, wait. He did love Choi Sang-hyuk, so wouldn’t he have chosen the one he had deeper emotions and more history with? …But Seo Ha-yoon also found comfort and peace with Ha Jun-seo. Given the life he had lived, it would be difficult to give up that warmth.
In the end, Kim Min-seok gave up trying to reach a conclusion. It was an impossible dilemma for him to solve.
The problem was that both men were probably waiting for him with bloodshot eyes right now. Until a moment ago, he could hide behind the excuse of being Kim Min-seok. But now that he knew the truth—that he was Seo Ha-yoon—he had lost that shield.
“Either way, I’m still Seo Ha-yoon…”
Mumbling to himself, Kim Min-seok thought of the two men.
First, Choi Sang-hyuk…
He had already fallen for him. He wanted him, to the point of envying the Seo Ha-yoon who had him. He still didn’t understand why Choi Sang-hyuk loved Seo Ha-yoon so much that he let himself be strung along. But one thing was certain—he loved Seo Ha-yoon. He loved him. And now, he had come to like Choi Sang-hyuk as well. Their feelings had connected. He didn’t want to break up with him.
And then, Ha Jun-seo…
Thinking of Ha Jun-seo, Kim Min-seok grabbed his hair in frustration.
He liked him too. In a different way than Choi Sang-hyuk, but he still liked him. Ha Jun-seo was gentle and warm. Being with him was comfortable and made him happy. The way he expressed his affection so freely warmed Kim Min-seok’s heart. The mere thought of leaving him and going through each day without him already left him feeling empty.
“I’m no different from Seo Ha-yoon…”
Kim Min-seok muttered, gripping his hair. Having to choose between the two was impossible. But he couldn’t shamelessly continue seeing them both as he had until now. His conscience wouldn’t allow it.
Burying his face deep into the bed, he fell into deep thought. He lay there motionless for a long time, like a dead man. Then, at some point, he slowly lifted his head. His hands, which had been sprawled out on the bed, were now clenched into tight fists. His once-confused eyes now held firm resolve.
“For now… I need to get the hell out of here.”
Kim Min-seok muttered decisively.
Since it was a house rather than an apartment, escaping was surprisingly easy. All he had to do was climb out the window and unlock the front gate. Since he happened to be in Ha Jun-seo’s room, he once again helped himself to the cash in Ha Jun-seo’s wallet.
Kim Min-seok walked to the main road and hailed a taxi to his apartment. He left both phones behind in the room, knowing they would make it too easy to track him.
At the apartment, he grabbed Seo Ha-yoon’s wallet, shoes, and a large backpack. Then, he took another taxi to Seoul Station. As he stood in front of the ticket counter, he hesitated. Where should he go?
Lost in thought, a destination suddenly came to mind—Busan.
He had no real ties to Busan, but when it came to domestic travel, the first places that came to mind were usually Jeju Island or Busan’s Haeundae Beach. There were still tens of millions of won left in the bank account, more than enough to find a place to stay and cover his living expenses while job hunting.
Kim Min-seok bought a ticket to Busan. Thanks to the short intervals between train departures, he was able to board almost immediately.
On the train heading south, he was more concerned about his future than the people he had left behind. Would he be able to adjust to an unfamiliar city? Where would he find a place to stay? Would he have trouble finding a job? Countless worries ran through his mind.
Despite all these concerns, his heart felt surprisingly calm. In fact, he even felt refreshed. He knew it was just a temporary relief born from escaping his real problems. But after being weighed down by so much ever since waking up in the hospital, the thought of finally being free from it all made him feel lighter.
The train ride to Busan didn’t take long. When Kim Min-seok stepped out into the bustling station, he paused for a moment to soak in the air of freedom. Instead of fear or anxiety over being in an unfamiliar place, the sense of liberation was overwhelming. It felt like he was on a real vacation.
The first thing he did was find an ATM and withdraw a large sum of cash, stuffing it into his bag. With the bag now filled with money, he left the station and took a taxi straight to Haeundae.
When he arrived, he headed directly to the beach.
The vast, open stretch of sand filled his vision. People strolled leisurely along the shore, seagulls soared through the sky, and others sat by the beachfront, sipping drinks and watching the waves.
Kim Min-seok walked across the sand, his feet sinking into the grains with each step. The small waves lapped at the shore, retreating and returning in an endless cycle. No matter how long he watched, he didn’t grow tired of it.
This was his first time seeing the ocean. At least, as far as Kim Min-seok was concerned.
The cold sea breeze tousled his hair, making him feel refreshed and alive.
After wandering the beach for a while, he stepped into a nearby café and ordered a hot Americano. Whether it was because it was a weekday or simply luck, he managed to find a seat with a clear view of the ocean.
As he warmed himself with the coffee and gazed absentmindedly at the waves, a scene from his dream surfaced in his mind.
“I don’t need that. I said I wanted to go shopping with you—when did I ever say I wanted to hang out with Kim Sil-jang? …Then take a few days off soon and go on a trip with me. I want to go abroad. You have plenty of money. Let’s go to Hawaii, lie around at a luxury resort, sip cocktails, and go surfing in the ocean. Hmm?”
“Things are too hectic right now. I can’t afford to be away for too long. But I’ll try to make time for a few days. I can’t manage a long trip… What about somewhere close, like Okinawa?”
“…Really?! You mean it?!”
“Yeah. So now, hand over the phone.”
“Sang-hyuk, you’re the best.”
Did they end up going to Okinawa together? Judging by the way they talked, it sounded like they were planning to go soon, so they probably did. Not that it would have mattered much—Choi Sang-hyuk would’ve spent the whole trip working on his tablet, while Seo Ha-yoon had all the fun by himself. Still, a trip to the ocean together must have been enjoyable. But I don’t even remember it…
What about Ha Jun-seo? Is he freaking out now that I’ve disappeared? Hopefully, he and Choi Sang-hyuk aren’t at each other’s throats again, throwing cheap insults back and forth. His bruises had finally started to fade—he better not end up in another fight.
Resting his chin on his hand, Kim Min-seok let out a deep sigh. He had run away from Choi Sang-hyuk and Ha Jun-seo, but now that he was alone, the only thing he could think about was the two of them.
