“Sam was your savior, huh.”
After a long silence, Winston finally spoke. His voice was rough and hoarse, weighed down with emotion. Without much thought, Yu-jin answered.
“Yeah, my only one.”
Winston lifted his head and looked at Yu-jin. But Yu-jin didn’t return his gaze and simply continued speaking.
“If it weren’t for Sam, I would’ve died starving on the streets. Or maybe I would’ve ended up in prison, forced to spread my legs until it killed me.”
A crooked smile tugged at his lips, followed by a self-mocking chuckle.
“Either way, I would’ve been dead.”
Winston pressed his lips together tightly. He rubbed his mouth with his hand, then clasped his fingers together as if searching for the right words. His movements were somewhat restless, but Yu-jin paid no attention. Instead, he kept talking, lost in his own thoughts.
“Sam told me to believe in you—the you that I once loved.”
I must be really drunk, Yu-jin thought. His mouth was moving on its own, completely ignoring his will.
“But you don’t believe in me, do you?”
For some reason, he found that amusing. A laugh escaped him as he leaned his head back against the sofa.
“Maybe I never really loved you either.”
“…I…”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Winston finally spoke again, as if he wanted to say something important, but Yu-jin had no intention of listening.
“I just didn’t want to live with regrets.”
That was the only reason he had bothered to speak. At least now, he wouldn’t have to live the rest of his life wondering if he should have said something.
“If you have something to say, say it now.”
Yu-jin gave Winston the chance. He had said everything he wanted to say, so now it was only fair to listen in return. Fairness. That was all it was.
Even though he had never once been treated fairly himself.
Winston let out a deep sigh, rubbing his eyes as if he were gathering his thoughts. Then, finally, he spoke.
“Couldn’t you have gotten a job? Even part-time?”
Yu-jin burst into laughter, unable to help himself. The sheer absurdity of it was laughable. Winston looked bewildered as Yu-jin turned his head slightly, side-eyeing him from where he sat slouched on the couch.
“Who the hell would hire me?”
His voice still carried traces of that bitter amusement as he went on.
“Winston, I didn’t even have basic schooling. I didn’t have an ID. I was a ghost. A filthy, empty-handed ghost. Who in the world would’ve hired me? Would you have hired someone like me?”
And on top of that, I was pregnant.
Angela was still much smaller than other kids her age. It was because Yu-jin had starved so much back then. Truthfully, he had thought the baby was dead inside him. His daughter had barely moved, curled up in silence, as if she were holding her breath.
The guilt was unbearable. Just thinking about it made him want to cry.
Winston exhaled deeply, dragging out his breath.
“Yeah… that was a stupid question.”
He looked as if all the strength had drained from his body.
He must have seen the incident report. He must have prepared himself, in whatever way he could. But no matter how extreme his expectations had been, reality had effortlessly surpassed them. Yu-jin didn’t bother to guess what Winston was feeling right now. Those emotions belonged to Winston alone, and as an outsider, Yu-jin could never truly understand them.
“…Why.”
Winston finally spoke, as if he had managed to regain some semblance of composure.
“When I asked you… why didn’t you tell me the truth?”
His tone wasn’t accusatory. It was a genuine question, filled with nothing but raw curiosity. Yu-jin answered indifferently.
“You wouldn’t have believed me anyway.”
A long-forgotten memory surfaced in his mind. Without much thought, Yu-jin muttered,
“You’ve always been suspicious of me whenever I was around other men.”
Winston fell silent again. He looked like he wanted to say something, but Yu-jin was already being pulled under by exhaustion.
“You probably still won’t believe me, even now…”
“Yu-jin?”
Winston called his name as Yu-jin’s voice trailed off. But this time, there was no answer.
He let out a deep sigh, realizing that Yu-jin had already succumbed to sleep.
“Yu-jin.”
Rising from the sofa, Winston approached him again and called out once more, lifting a hand. He hesitated for a moment before gently gripping Yu-jin’s shoulder and giving it a light shake. But Yu-jin remained still, his breathing deep and even, completely lost in sleep.
Winston gazed down at him for a moment, then finally leaned down and scooped him up into his arms. His frail, emaciated body fit effortlessly between Winston’s arms, so light that he nearly lost his balance.
Looking down at Yu-jin’s sleeping face, Winston steadied himself before turning toward the bed. As he walked, Yu-jin’s slippers slipped off one by one, landing soundlessly on the floor.
He carefully laid him down onto the mattress, but Yu-jin didn’t stir. Winston hesitated for a moment, then reached out and gently stroked his face before pulling back. After tucking the sheets over his sleeping form, he finally stepped away and returned to his seat.
Summoning the butler, Winston ordered another bottle of wine. As he waited, he silently finished the remnants of his glass, lost in thought.
You’ve always been suspicious of me whenever I was around other men.
It had been nothing but petty jealousy.
Because everyone lost their minds when it came to Yu-jin. Even though Winston had known he was innocent, every time he saw another man talking to him, smiling at him, he had wanted to kill them.
But back then, I still believed in you.
Winston had always known that Yu-jin had done nothing wrong. The ones at fault were the flies that constantly hovered around him. He had been utterly convinced of Yu-jin’s faithfulness.
Winston.
Even now, when he thought back to that day, it felt as if his heart were being torn apart.
That face, smiling at him.
Yu-jin, kissing his father.
The two of them, tangled together in bed.
I saw it.
Winston buried his face in his hands.
I saw it with my own eyes. I saw you sleeping with my father.
And I can still hear it so clearly—the sound of your laughter as you mocked me.
There was no room for doubt.
Yu-jin was right. No matter what he said, Winston would never believe him.
Because he had seen it with his own eyes.
And on top of that, hadn’t Yu-jin even lied about carrying his child? Extreme Alphas controlled their own fertilization. Winston had never once impregnated him—and he had used condoms every time. It was biologically impossible for Yu-jin to have his child.
Yet he had the audacity to show up pregnant with another man’s baby and spout such blatant nonsense. Just how much of a fool had he taken Winston for? Winston had thought he would never forgive Yu-jin for as long as he lived.
But he never imagined he had gone through something so horrific.
He had hated him to the point of death, but he had never wished for that.
Maybe his father had used him and thrown him away. That was the most likely scenario—after all, his father had never sought Yu-jin out again.
Still, he never would have guessed that his father had left him with nothing.
He had assumed Yu-jin had found another man, that he was living a promiscuous life, just like always.
Suddenly, a sharp pain flared in his back. It wasn’t raining, and he hadn’t done anything strenuous, so why was it hurting now?
Phantom pain, probably.
Even as he dismissed the thought, he walked into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. He poured a handful of painkillers into his mouth, then filled a glass with water from the sink and downed it all at once. Only then did he finally look at his own reflection in the mirror.
A pale, ghostly man stared back at him.
What are you going to do now?
The man in the mirror whispered.
Winston Campbell. So what now?
He stood there, unmoving, for a long time.
The face staring back at him almost looked like it was mocking him.
***
“……”
His head was splitting.
Yu-jin let out a faint groan, his face twisting in pain. His eyelids fluttered open, and he blinked blankly as he lay there.
It took him a few seconds to realize he was in bed. He let out a slow sigh and pushed himself up.
Of course, Winston was nowhere to be seen. It was already long past the time he would have left for work.
His head felt foggy, but his memories remained crystal clear.
Thinking back to Winston’s reaction, Yu-jin let out a bitter chuckle.
That man got to have a pretty unique experience thanks to me.
Thinking of it that way made things easier to accept.
Just as he stepped out of bed and made his way toward the bathroom, a knock sounded at the door, followed by the soft creak of it opening.
“Ah, you’re awake.”
The butler entered the room, greeting him politely.
“Angela has been waiting for you. She wants to have a snack with you. She already had breakfast.”
“Ah, okay. I’ll be right there.”
“And one more thing.”
Yu-jin was about to head into the bathroom when the butler stopped him again.
“Mr. Campbell has requested that you join him for dinner. Angela as well.”
