Winston didn’t answer immediately. He simply stared at Yu-jin in silence.
But Yu-jin thought that he must have already expected this. There wasn’t even a hint of surprise or discomfort on his face.
For a while, Winston just sat there wordlessly before moving slowly. He placed his glass down on the table, then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his wide-spread legs, his body shifting toward Yu-jin with full attention. Yu-jin watched him closely.
“What I want to know, darling…”
At the slow drawl of Winston’s voice, Yu-jin instinctively tensed. The way Winston deliberately moved his lips as he spoke made his words all the more unsettling.
“…is what happened after you left Delights. How you ended up in that state.”
The words that state carried countless implications. A suffocating pressure clogged Yu-jin’s throat as he took a deep, trembling breath. Now that he was actually about to talk, it felt almost laughable how little there was to say. A strange sense of futility washed over him. Why was he even bothering? It wasn’t like Winston would believe him anyway.
Memories of the past resurfaced, and Yu-jin felt the last bit of his resolve crumble. He sipped his wine in resignation. The only reason he was doing this was because of what Sam had said. Maybe, someday, he’d regret it if he didn’t. That thought made it easier to go on.
“After I was kicked out of the mansion, I had nowhere to go. The money I had barely lasted a few days.”
Maybe it was because he had already half given up—his words flowed easily. He took another sip of wine before continuing.
“I hitchhiked to a train station. I just wanted to get as far away as possible. I’d get off, hitch another ride, and then catch another car…”
Recalling those forgotten memories made him chuckle. Yu-jin grinned and joked,
“One time, I ended up on a truck. The driver said there was no space in the front, but I could ride in the cargo bed if I didn’t mind. I was grateful and got in, but—ugh, the smell! Turns out, the truck was full of chickens.”
Yu-jin groaned at the memory and shook his head.
“I can still remember that stench vividly.”
Winston remained silent, merely listening, but Yu-jin kept talking on his own.
“In the end, I wound up in the city where Sam was. Cities are nice, you know. If you sit on the sidewalk long enough, people throw you coins. Sometimes, they even toss out perfectly good hamburgers into the trash—”
“Wait.”
For the first time, Winston interrupted. His face had gone strangely pale.
“You’re saying… you dug through the trash? You ate discarded food?”
“What else was I supposed to do? I had nothing to eat.”
Yu-jin said it casually, as if it were no big deal. Winston looked shaken, but even seeing his expression, Yu-jin felt nothing. It was an obvious reaction. Someone like Winston—someone who had never even imagined such poverty existed—could never comprehend it.
“The trash isn’t so bad. It’s a treasure trove, really. Let me give you some good advice. If you ever become homeless, the first thing you should do is check the dumpsters. Because you’re big, no one would dare try to steal from you.”
Yu-jin chuckled, but Winston didn’t.
“That means…” Winston struggled to get the words out. “You had even that stolen from you? By other guys?”
His tone was rough—uncharacteristically so—but Yu-jin only shrugged.
“What could I do? One punch and I’d be sent flying. If I didn’t want to get hit, I had to hand it over first.”
He made a swooshing sound with his lips, drawing an arc in the air with his finger as if demonstrating just how easily he’d be tossed aside. Then, he laughed again, a quiet, breathy giggle. Winston only stared at him. His expression made it seem like he was trying to process each and every word, struggling to understand. Yu-jin, unaffected, continued speaking.
“That day, I was really hungry. Hadn’t eaten for five days, maybe? I felt like I was going to die. The cans I’d managed to collect got stolen, and there wasn’t any discarded food in the trash. In the end, I couldn’t take it anymore and started lurking near a gas station, waiting for someone to get out of their car so I could beg for money.”
The memory came back as vividly as if it had happened just yesterday, yet strangely, he felt nothing. Maybe because it was all in the past now. With detached ease, he went on.
“I couldn’t work up the nerve at first and let a few people go, but eventually, I reached a breaking point and spoke to someone. He was a big guy. The moment I asked for help, he gave me this once-over.”
Yu-jin took in a breath and exhaled slowly. Fortunately, his voice didn’t tremble when he spoke again.
“He asked if I was an Omega. I told him I was. He thought I was a prostitute and asked how much I charged.”
He kept his gaze fixed on the wine glass, deliberately avoiding Winston’s. It felt as if he had slipped back into that moment, like he had returned to that day—even though he knew that was impossible.
“It wasn’t even the first time something like that had happened. Before, I’d always panicked and run away. But that day… I couldn’t. I told myself, Well, my body’s just going to rot away in the end anyway, right? I was about to starve to death—what wouldn’t I do to survive? That’s what I thought at the time. I was just… so hungry…”
For a moment, Yu-jin thought he could see his own reflection in the deep, blood-red wine. He set the glass down and continued.
“I got into his car and went to some cheap motel. I thought… I just had to let him sleep with me, and then it would be over. But once we were inside the room, all of a sudden…”
His previously steady breathing turned ragged. Unable to hold it back, he buried his face in his hands. His long, thin fingers trembled uncontrollably.
“He slapped me.”
It was as if the very air around them had frozen. Yu-jin didn’t notice, but Winston was staring at him, his face drained of all color. Yu-jin, still hiding his face in his hands, kept talking, his voice shaking violently.
“At first, I didn’t even understand what was happening. I was on the floor, dazed, and then he grabbed me, forced me up… and hit me again. And again…”
The terror of that night came crashing back. Yu-jin trembled so hard he couldn’t stop. His breath came in sharp, ragged gasps, his whole body on the verge of collapse. Winston abruptly stood up.
“Enough. Stop.”
“He was a sadist.”
Winston tried to stop him, but Yu-jin didn’t stop. He kept going. Winston stood frozen, staring down at him.
“He was the kind of man who got more excited the more he hit me. He beat me so much I thought I was going to pass out. Maybe I did pass out—I don’t even know. Anyway, he started choking me, and I was struggling to get away when…”
A choked sob broke through his breathless gasps before he finally confessed,
“My hand landed on an ashtray, so I grabbed it and smashed it against his head.”
His trembling didn’t stop—it only grew worse. Winston wanted to tell him to stop, that it was enough, but the shock had rendered him speechless. Yu-jin kept panting through ragged breaths before forcing himself to continue.
“I barely managed to get free, but he was furious. I was terrified. I grabbed a chair and hit him with everything I had. I don’t know how many times. When I finally came to my senses, he was lying on the floor.”
His shaking gradually subsided. He exhaled sharply, as if trying to release the tension in his shoulders.
“I was going to run, but… there was a wallet on the table.”
The memory replayed before his eyes—the man lying in a pool of blood, himself grabbing the wallet and running.
“Why did I even notice it at that moment? I shouldn’t have taken it, but… was I out of my mind? Was I possessed by something? By the time I came to my senses, I was already outside, clutching it.”
What was that feeling? It wasn’t relief. It wasn’t guilt. It was something else entirely. He still vividly remembered the tears streaming down his face when he finally hid in an alley and realized he was safe. Yu-jin forced himself to calm down, his voice dropping to a whisper.
“And then, that bastard reported me to the police. I got arrested for prostitution and robbery. After that… well, you know the rest.”
It was over. Yu-jin slumped back against the couch, utterly drained. His mind was blank, unable to process anything anymore.
Winston didn’t move. He just stood there, looking down at him. Yu-jin noticed the hesitant lift of his hand before he let it fall again. Winston looked… wrecked. Of course, he had never imagined he’d hear something this horrific. Yu-jin blinked slowly, feeling a bitter sense of amusement.
Yeah… what did you expect?
A dull thud echoed in the silence as Winston finally sat back down. Yu-jin watched indifferently as he rubbed his face with one hand—once, twice, again and again. He seemed like he wanted to say something, but in the end, he didn’t. Instead, he ran both hands down his face, as if trying to wash away the unbearable weight of what he had just heard.
