#1
Side Story 1: Kang Jihan
Nam Seonwoo.
If you were to find the whitest thing in this high school, it would undoubtedly be Nam Seonwoo. Of course, the school itself was painted white, but unlike the walls stained with the dust of time, Nam Seonwoo was as pure white as if not a speck of dust had settled on him.
I realized how white a person could be on the first day of school when I opened the classroom door. Nam Seonwoo, who seemed to be trying to open the door from inside, let out a strange exclamation with wide eyes. His gaze lingered briefly on my face, which was apologetically smiling and saying ‘sorry,’ but that was all. That was my first encounter with him.
Becoming a third-year student didn’t change much. Only the color of the name tag indicating the grade, the location of the classroom, and the homeroom teacher had changed; the scenery of the classroom, as if copied and pasted, remained the same as always. The only difference, if any, was the atmosphere of the classroom.
There were no noisy incidents or annoying guys. I wondered if the class was assigned to a bunch of mediocre guys, but even so, those mediocre guys were bound to puff themselves up. I thought the quiet beginning of the semester without the usual annual events was due to the special nature of being a senior in high school, like suddenly coming to their senses because college entrance exams were looming. But soon, I realized that wasn’t the case. And I also realized that the atmosphere of the class could be shaped by the presence of one class president.
The class president was supposed to be the easiest guy to boss around. Whether it was a teacher or a peer, they had to be easy enough to get work done smoothly. So, when that white guy was appointed as the class president from the first day, it was easy to imagine what kind of image Nam Seonwoo had within the school.
But Nam Seonwoo, who became the class president unanimously, wrote the names of the guys who disrupted the atmosphere on the blackboard, contrary to being a ‘model student,’ and responded indifferently to the jeering voices. With a herbivore-like appearance, Nam Seonwoo always walked with his neck held high, not like a herbivore.
That’s why I noticed that Nam Seonwoo’s neckline was particularly long.
As straight as his neck, he was tall. I wondered if he just looked taller and thinner because he was white, but seeing that the waistline of his pants started higher than the guys next to him, his legs seemed long too.
Being white and tall, it was natural for him to attract attention. Finding a seashell of different color and shape in the sand filling the playground was an easy task that could be done without much effort.
Anyway, Nam Seonwoo made everyone recognize his position without the usual male hierarchy, and the atmosphere of the class followed him. Seeing that all this process was as natural as the flow of water, it seemed he had a naturally good personality. That was also why the homeroom teacher and subject teachers liked him.
Nam Seonwoo laughed well. He laughed even at jokes that weren’t funny at all, and he never refused when asked to lend his notes, no matter how bothersome the request. Like a ‘class president’ from a drama, he took care of everyone without leaving anyone out and treated everyone without hesitation.
‘…But why me?’
Nam Seonwoo noticeably felt awkward around me. When taking my phone or collecting assignments, he tapped on the desk rather than my shoulder, and when I looked up at the sound, he trailed off with a ‘there.’ After calling me, he would hesitate for a few seconds with his gaze not on my face but around my shoulders and neck before finally making eye contact, as if talking to someone he didn’t want to talk to.
I could guess. It was because of the rumors. The rumors that had followed me since I entered school, like being a gangster or something, were absurd, but many believed them. Later, rumors even added that I was an illegitimate child hidden by Company S. The reactions were largely divided into two. Like Nam Seonwoo, they either couldn’t make proper eye contact or wandered around as if looking for something to fall. But in the end, both were the same. Why should it be a topic of excitement that a complete stranger is someone’s illegitimate child?
It wasn’t the first time I had experienced such reactions, so it wasn’t unpleasant. But when Nam Seonwoo did it, it felt strangely bad. He spoke kindly to everyone, but in front of me, he turned into a stone statue, making the difference stark. Rather than openly avoiding me, Nam Seonwoo kept trying to talk to me when I was about to forget. Glancing at me.
It was the same now. Nam Seonwoo pretended to look at the clock hanging behind while glancing at me. As if he thought it wouldn’t be noticeable, he casually averted his gaze and started taking out a textbook from his desk. The book in his white hand was a physics textbook. Only then did I remember that I hadn’t brought my physics book and pondered for a moment. Whether to just go back to sleep or to go back and listen to something.
While I was thinking, my eyes met Nam Seonwoo’s again. As our eyes locked, his already round eyes widened even more, and then he turned his head away as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have. As I quietly looked at the back of his small head, my drowsiness seemed to vanish.
“… “
So, I decided to just go back.
As I stood by the desk at the back, the classroom fell silent once more. The silence was broken by the physics teacher who entered, saying, ‘Why are you all quietly preparing for class?’ Amidst the teacher’s voice, I heard the sound of a chair being pulled back.
My gaze wasn’t drawn by the sound. A white and long figure suddenly appeared in my vision, pointing at the blackboard, so I couldn’t help but look. Nam Seonwoo was walking back with a physics textbook in one hand. His face, which had been chatting and laughing with Park Gyuhyeon on the way out, stiffened again as he stopped in front of me.
Perhaps because there was only one desk at the back, Nam Seonwoo stood next to me. Even as he quietly looked at the blackboard, his hand continued to fiddle with the textbook. After a while, with a sound like he was swallowing saliva, Nam Seonwoo took a step closer. Then, he gently spread the textbook on the empty desk.
I wondered what he was doing and just looked down, and the fingertips turning the page trembled slightly before disappearing under the back of his hand. I glanced sideways, but he didn’t seem particularly cold as he had taken off his summer uniform shirt. Meanwhile, the fingers that reappeared turned a few pages and then stopped at the page that would be covered today.
Under the palm pressing the center of the textbook, there were already underlines drawn. Unlike the neat front pages, the marks made only with a pencil seemed to indicate that he had studied ahead. Do people like this go to good universities? The words written here and there in the margins seemed to be notes of questions he had while studying. Even the scribbles close to muttering were in neat handwriting.
Then, Nam Seonwoo slightly pushed the textbook towards me. The textbook, almost spread out right in front of me, looked as if it were mine rather than Nam Seonwoo’s.
‘Does he want me to move?’
Not knowing what it meant, I stared blankly at Nam Seonwoo, but the white face just looked at the textbook without even glancing at me. It seemed that moving was indeed what he meant. Since I had no book, it was right to move instead of occupying a seat, so I returned to my seat. I thought I heard a sound like ‘ah’ from behind, but it was soon buried under the teacher’s microphone.
The bell rang, signaling break time, and the classroom quickly became noisy. Thinking of going to the rooftop to stretch my body, I lifted my head, and someone plopped down in the front seat and turned around.
“Uh, hello.”
…It was Nam Seonwoo again. I wondered why he was talking to me again after telling me to leave earlier. Without responding, I just stared at him, and Nam Seonwoo bit his lip.
“About earlier.”
Was he trying to point out my attitude in class? For some reason, he wasn’t avoiding my gaze, so it seemed like he was about to say something. I waited to see what he would say, but Nam Seonwoo just fidgeted with his lips. So, my gaze naturally wandered around. To his flawlessly white cheeks without a single blemish.
Perhaps because he was receiving direct sunlight from the side, even the peach fuzz on his philtrum and cheeks was visible strand by strand. Looking at the fuzz, which was so white it was almost transparent, I felt a strange sensation and was about to look away when—
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”
His two cheeks with peach fuzz were flushed. It was only slightly, but because his skin was so pale, even that small change was clearly visible. Why is it that color? I was so caught up in that thought that I didn’t hear what Nam Seonwoo had just said.
“Are you always this quiet?”
His voice came again, and as I lifted my gaze, which had been fixed on his cheek, this time I saw his amber-colored pupils. Seeing that light color, a thought suddenly crossed my mind. Why is his skin so white? Maybe he’s mixed-race. His pupils, which had received direct sunlight, sparkled like those of actors in foreign films.
It seemed like the first time I had looked at someone’s eyes like that. Did Nam Seonwoo feel it too? Or was it because of the continued silence that his mood soured? For a moment, his expression seemed to harden. It was more accurate to say it wasn’t hardened but rather… blanked out.
A brief silence followed. Nam Seonwoo was looking straight into my eyes, but strangely, he seemed to be looking elsewhere. As the air suddenly felt different, I was about to open my mouth when Nam Seonwoo muttered,
“…Please say something.”
“What?”
“Please say something to me.”
His voice was so low it was hard to believe it was the usual Nam Seonwoo. Moreover, it was strange that the voice somehow sounded hollow. A prickly feeling made me snap a curt reply.
“Why should I?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
