#96
Nam Seonwoo suddenly recalled seeing Kang Jihan with this expression before. It was just a few hours ago, when he regained consciousness in the taxi. With a similar face, Kang Jihan had said he “couldn’t leave him to die,” and even then, he seemed a bit strange.
“What’s wrong with you?”
When asked in a concerned voice, Kang Jihan’s eyes finally regained their focus.
“Ah.”
Kang Jihan smiled awkwardly.
“Sorry. I don’t really like it.”
“You don’t like it?”
Nam Seonwoo knew Kang Jihan well. Just as he didn’t have any foods he particularly liked, he also didn’t have any he specifically disliked. Still, abalone porridge was something he usually ate quite well.
“…The abalone porridge?”
“I hate abalone even more.”
It was a concise yet clear answer. Kang Jihan tightened his arm around Nam Seonwoo and muttered.
“Don’t buy porridge-like things anymore.”
At what sounded like a sulky complaint, Nam Seonwoo found himself nodding. It wasn’t just that he didn’t want to eat it; he disliked it that much. Though still puzzled, this Kang Jihan was more expressive than the thirty-four-year-old version, so it was likely sincere.
‘…Wait, so he’d been forcing himself to eat it all this time?’
It felt like a sudden revelation, but again, there was no one he could ask about it. Still, he thought it was fortunate to know this now. He could learn Kang Jihan’s favorite foods from scratch. Nam Seonwoo patted the arm around his waist and said:
“Let go for a moment.”
He remembered that his mother had brought a large paper bag earlier. Recalling that it contained water and handkerchiefs, he spoke intending to at least moisten Kang Jihan’s lips, but Kang Jihan didn’t release his arm.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m not going anywhere. Just let go for a second.”
But the arm only tightened. At this contrary behavior, Nam Seonwoo finally struck Kang Jihan’s shoulder.
“Ow.”
“What do you mean ‘ow’? Let go already!”
“I’m a patient.”
“Exactly, man. If you want to recover quickly, you should be lying down quietly instead of doing this.”
“I’m not in pain.”
“Good for you. Wait here, let me just get some water.”
A laugh resembling a sigh poured onto his chest. As he shrugged his shoulders at the ticklish feeling, a low voice tickled his chest once more.
“I’m fine, so just hold me.”
As if that settled it, Kang Jihan nuzzled his face against Nam Seonwoo’s chest. Thinking that the clinging figure resembled a giant cicada, Nam Seonwoo awkwardly lowered his arms to wrap around Kang Jihan’s shoulders.
Looking at the top of the head nestled against him felt strange. Perhaps it was because the angle was one he couldn’t normally see due to their height difference, or maybe because the person “being held” was too large, but he couldn’t shake the awkward feeling. As if sensing this awkwardness, Kang Jihan peeked up with just his eyes.
“Want to come up here?”
He seemed to think Nam Seonwoo was uncomfortable with the position. Nam Seonwoo glanced down at the bed. He’d never thought hospital beds were small before, but with Kang Jihan lying there, it looked like a giant had invaded a Lilliputian’s property. The narrow-looking bed didn’t seem to have enough space for him to even perch on.
“Not there.”
At that voice, he turned his gaze to see Kang Jihan removing his face and gesturing downward with his eyes.
“Here.”
There was no need to follow that gaze to know what he was pointing at. Nam Seonwoo could tell just from his expression where Kang Jihan wanted him to sit.
Instead of obediently sitting on his thighs, Nam Seonwoo pushed the giant cicada aside as if shooing him away. As he managed to secure enough space to sit on the edge of the bed, Kang Jihan asked sulkily:
“Why sit there?”
“Are you aware that you’re a patient?”
“My thighs aren’t injured.”
“Aren’t thighs part of the legs? Don’t tell anyone you’re a medical student.”
Despite the critical nagging, Kang Jihan merely grinned. His deeply etched dimples were accompanied by brown eyes. And Kang Jihan silently took in Nam Seonwoo with those eyes.
The brief silence that followed was as natural and calm as the dust floating in the hospital room. The quiet with only the sound of each other’s breathing was like a wordless conversation flowing between them.
“Why did you go to the College of Education?”
At that voice, Nam Seonwoo belatedly realized there had been a break in conversation. The silence that had permeated like air hadn’t been noticeable at all, unlike in his previous life, making it impossible to gauge how much time had passed.
“Did you always want to be a teacher?”
The fact that he was asking now suggested he had been curious about it. Well, for Kang Jihan, who thought they would go to medical school together, education must have seemed random.
“Why? Doesn’t it suit me?”
Though he responded somewhat petulantly, Nam Seonwoo took considerable pride in being a teacher. Although in his previous life, he had chosen teaching to spend more time with Kang Jihan, looking back on his teaching career, he had no regrets about it.
“No, it suits you well.”
But hearing such an assessment from Kang Jihan’s mouth felt peculiar. Moreover, saying it with eyes devoid of any mischief somehow made him feel embarrassed.
“But it does annoy me to think there might be guys like me.”
When Nam Seonwoo’s gaze asked what he meant, Kang Jihan tilted his head.
“Guys who confess while suddenly kissing you.”
“…I think you’re the only one like that.”
“Still. Don’t accept them.”
Nam Seonwoo chuckled at the frivolous remark. As if responding to that laughter, Kang Jihan leaned forward. The warm palm carefully cradling his face made Nam Seonwoo instinctively close his eyes. And when he opened them again, Kang Jihan had moved even closer.
As he gazed at the face filling his vision, their noses touched. Kang Jihan paused there for a moment and whispered softly.
“May I?”
Whether it should be called remarkable progress—the thought that Kang Jihan, who used to plant kisses without warning, was now asking such things made Nam Seonwoo smile.
“Didn’t you say not to accept kissing guys?”
But knowing why Kang Jihan was asking permission like this, Nam Seonwoo closed his eyes in answer.
When he consented to the kiss that hadn’t been permitted on the bed before, the thumb resting on his cheek gently stroked the corner of his eye. In the moment his attention was drawn to that warm, careful touch, Kang Jihan’s lips met his.
Perhaps due to the lengthy surgery, Kang Jihan’s lips were dry and rough. At the sensation different from what he expected, Nam Seonwoo instinctively furrowed his brow, and the lips withdrew as if escaping.
“…Not good?”
Nam Seonwoo opened his eyes at the hesitant voice. At a distance close enough to feel each other’s breath, Kang Jihan had pulled back his lips and was slightly creasing his forehead.
There was a time when Nam Seonwoo thought Kang Jihan was dissatisfied with him whenever his eyebrows took that shape. Recalling how his gaze had followed that forehead when they broke up, he must have paid more attention to it than he’d thought.
But now he knew. When your lover furrows their brow, you simply need to smooth it out.
Instead of correcting him verbally, Nam Seonwoo stuck out his tongue. As he licked the roughly chapped lips, Kang Jihan’s body flinched. But Nam Seonwoo paid no mind and continued to lap at his lips. The hard, rough surface gradually settled as it absorbed the moist warmth. When he felt the lips becoming smooth with his tongue tip, Nam Seonwoo smiled, narrowing his downcast eyes.
“There, that’s better now.”
He looked at Kang Jihan, implying he should continue what he was doing, but he had turned back into an idiot who couldn’t understand.
“What are you doing?”
Thinking that he had just softened those lips only for Kang Jihan to become stiff instead, Nam Seonwoo suppressed a laugh and said:
“Just kiss me.”
Though he said this, Nam Seonwoo didn’t wait for Kang Jihan. Just as he was about to press his lips against the now-smoothened surface with his head slightly tilted, his body was pushed back with a strong force.
Nam Seonwoo blinked blankly. Looking down, he saw that the hand that had been holding his face was now pushing his shoulder away.
“…What are you doing right now?”
“Sorry.”
Kang Jihan, who offered a hurried apology, was so red in the face that it was hard to believe he was the same person who had been eager to kiss earlier. No, even his neck was completely red, like looking at a sweet potato. Aware of this or not, Kang Jihan quickly covered his mouth with the back of his hand.
Seeing him like this, Nam Seonwoo didn’t feel upset despite the fact that this impertinent lover had just pushed him away. Thinking that he must have been properly held hostage by Kang Jihan, Nam Seonwoo deliberately asked in a sarcastic tone:
“Ah, so you don’t want to kiss me, is that it?”
“That’s impossible.”
“Then why are you covering your mouth? As if I made it dirty by licking it?”
He tried to pull Kang Jihan’s hand down accusingly, but for some reason, he stubbornly refused to lower his arm. Seeing Kang Jihan resist like this when he usually yielded in matters of strength suddenly made Nam Seonwoo obstinate. Just as he was about to turn his body completely and force the arm down:
“…”
For a moment, as if noticing something, Nam Seonwoo lowered his head. The stiff hospital gown had become even stiffer. The lower part, which was raised as if about to pierce through the clothes, was impossible not to notice. Nam Seonwoo burst into laughter.
“Hey, Kang Jihan. Why did you get hard?”
Kang Jihan bit his lip tightly. He looked wronged. Nam Seonwoo’s laughter grew louder.
“Why is this standing up just from a little kissing, you pervert.”
Strictly speaking, they hadn’t even properly kissed. Seeing him already so firmly erect, it suddenly felt real that this Kang Jihan was only twenty-one years old.
“…You’re acting too seductively.”
Watching him cover his lower region while saying such things, Nam Seonwoo suddenly felt like he was doing something inappropriate to a child. But he couldn’t stop his lips from curling upward.
