#87
“I understand clearly, so stop. Please stop, okay?”
Kim Minhwan finally opened his eyes. Seeing him staring, it seemed like he was waiting for an answer. After making sure no one was around, Nam Seonwoo let out a shallow sigh.
“But I’m sorry. You’re a good dongsaeng to me, but I’ve never seen you that way. And I don’t think I ever will.”
“Ah…”
At this clean and firm rejection, Kim Minhwan wore a blank expression. He repeatedly said “ah” and “uh” as if those were the only words he knew. Then, acting like a malfunctioning person, he suddenly burst into hearty laughter.
“Come on, hyung! Why so serious? Today is April Fools’ Day!”
Nam Seonwoo could understand why Kim Minhwan had come all the way to his home today. Before the day ended, he wanted to try confessing under the cover of April Fools’ Day.
Though Nam Seonwoo usually thought people who confessed on April Fools’ Day were pathetic, Kim Minhwan didn’t seem pathetic at all. He knew how much courage it took to confess to someone of the same gender. If Nam Seonwoo from his previous life hadn’t kissed Kang Jihan while drunk during freshman year, he would have surely used April Fools’ Day as an excuse to confess too.
“Hyung? You’re not taking it seriously, are you?”
Kim Minhwan playfully slapped Nam Seonwoo’s shoulder as if it were a joke. Though Nam Seonwoo could see his lips quivering, he decided to pretend not to notice.
“What kind of prank is that? You’re not a kid.”
“Come on. You’re always so serious, hyung. Of course, I like that about you… Ah, don’t misunderstand that either! Hahahaha!”
The exaggerated laughter already felt awkward. The confession could be passed off as a joke, but Nam Seonwoo’s answer had been serious, as Kim Minhwan said, so it must have been conveyed clearly. Now Nam Seonwoo just needed to wait until he sorted out his feelings. If he couldn’t let go and kept his distance, then that’s how their relationship was meant to be.
“Haha, ha…”
But suddenly, Kim Minhwan started shedding tears. Having not expected him to cry, Nam Seonwoo couldn’t hide his bewilderment.
“Hey…”
Teardrops hung from his chin and fell to the ground continuously. With him crying like that, it couldn’t be passed off as a joke. In this situation where he couldn’t even offer comfort carelessly, all Nam Seonwoo could do was pat Kim Minhwan’s shoulder.
“…I’m sorry.”
At these words, which carried many meanings, Kim Minhwan finally began to cry loudly. His face, crumpled like a misshapen potato, was completely wet—eyes, nose, everything. Already looking like a gangster because of his clothes, now with him crying so sorrowfully, Nam Seonwoo had no idea how to console him.
That’s when Kim Minhwan suddenly hugged Nam Seonwoo. Though momentarily stiff, Nam Seonwoo remained still since it didn’t seem like he was trying to do anything else. He heard the sound of sniffling next to his ear.
“Hyung is really, really a good person…”
“Didn’t you say it was an April Fools’ joke?”
“Still… still, you didn’t even say I was disgusting, huhuhueeng… thank youuu…”
With each word, Nam Seonwoo felt his shoulder getting wetter. He didn’t understand why this guy was wiping his tears and snot on someone else’s clothes. The nagging naturally came out.
“You have morning classes tomorrow, what are you doing drinking in the afternoon? If you develop drinking habits early, you’ll suffer when you’re older.”
“I, I didn’t want to drink! But after you left, hiccup, hanging out with everyone wasn’t fun at all… So I thought I might as well drink… It’s strange. There are so many booths and everyone’s nice, but why isn’t it fun without you?”
Come to think of it, he had said something similar before. When he had begged Nam Seonwoo to go to a group meeting. When told to take another classmate, he had whined that it was only fun with hyung—the context was similar.
“…Hyung, you know, right? That today is April Fools’ Day.”
Not sure what was sincere and what was an April Fools’ joke, Nam Seonwoo just nodded.
“I know, you punk.”
The sound of crying from heartbreak gradually subsided. Meanwhile, people started appearing in the building. Nam Seonwoo could feel the glances from those getting off the elevator. With a big guy clinging to another man, it was impossible not to draw attention.
Nam Seonwoo carefully checked the entrance door that had been bothering him. Still blocked by Kim Minhwan, he couldn’t see if the car was there. But conversely, Kang Jihan would be at an angle where he could see them. At that thought, Park Gyuhyeon’s voice suddenly crossed his mind.
‘Or maybe show him that you’re with someone else? Why, there’s nothing more effective than seeing with your own eyes rather than hearing a hundred words.’
Showing himself with Kim Minhwan had been a discarded strategy. But now, the situation had inadvertently unfolded just as Park Gyuhyeon had suggested, which made Nam Seonwoo smile bitterly.
The effectively delivered rejection, Kim Minhwan’s timely appearance, and now this scene full of potential misunderstanding—today seemed to be the day when Nam Seonwoo’s long agony would finally end. But he didn’t feel relieved.
Kim Minhwan stopped crying. His hiccups had ceased and his chattering mouth had closed, suggesting he might have finally sobered up. Seemingly unable to break the embrace due to the awkwardness, Nam Seonwoo gently pushed him away.
“Get off me now. You’re heavy.”
But Kim Minhwan didn’t budge. It wasn’t that he was resisting with strength. Rather, it seemed like all strength had left his body. As the weight gradually shifted forward, Nam Seonwoo stumbled backward.
“Hey. …Hey, Kim Minhwan?”
No way. He’s not a child; he couldn’t have fallen asleep from exhaustion after crying, right?
As if confirming the answer, the body leaned more and more, causing Nam Seonwoo to hurriedly back up against the wall. After pushing the heavy weight against the wall, he slapped Kim Minhwan’s cheek, telling him to wake up. But the guy merely smacked his lips without opening his eyes.
Nam Seonwoo rummaged through his pocket. It wasn’t the first time he’d sent a drunk Kim Minhwan home, and he knew his address. As he was about to call a taxi, Kim Minhwan mumbled softly.
“Hyung, I…”
“What, kid? If you’re awake, stand up.”
“I need the bathroom…”
For a moment, Nam Seonwoo considered dumping Kim Minhwan on the floor and leaving. But his eyebrows started to look increasingly serious, suggesting it might be urgent. Nam Seonwoo gritted his teeth and counted to five for patience. There wasn’t even a public restroom on the first floor of this officetel.
Just then, a “ding” sound was heard as the elevator opened.
“…Excuse me, I’ll get on!”
Thanks to someone who waited after boarding first, Nam Seonwoo was able to barely drag Kim Minhwan into the elevator. Well, it was more like carrying him with his entire body than dragging.
As soon as they arrived home, Nam Seonwoo pushed Kim Minhwan into the bathroom. There was a crashing sound as if he had fallen, but soon the sound of a flushing toilet suggested he hadn’t soiled the floor or his pants.
Hearing the shower running next, Nam Seonwoo approached the window with a sigh. When he slightly pulled the curtain, he could see the main road outside. And also a black vehicle standing as if nailed to the spot.
“…”
He quickly closed the curtain. Though his eyes could swiftly turn away, his two feet in front of the window wouldn’t move.
‘Why is he still there, like a fool?’
His phone was quiet. Kang Jihan neither contacted him nor followed him inside. That must be the answer Kang Jihan had come to. But if that was the case, he should leave this place as soon as possible. Nam Seonwoo closed his eyes, feeling queasy about why Kang Jihan was stubbornly staying there.
Just then, the bathroom door opened slightly. Nam Seonwoo only then realized that the shower sound had stopped. Kim Minhwan was peeking out with his wet hair, looking around. His face seemed relaxed, as if he had comfortably finished showering.
“Hyung…? Give me some clothes.”
But he still seemed half-drunk, either from sleep or alcohol. Evident by how he was making such a brazen request to someone who had just rejected his confession. Swallowing the urge to hit him hard, Nam Seonwoo threw him the largest size clothes he had.
After shamelessly changing, Kim Minhwan immediately collapsed on the floor. It seemed like showering as soon as getting home was programmed into his subconscious. He looked somewhat pitiful, curling up his large body to sleep, but when he started snoring, Nam Seonwoo eventually kicked his back hard.
Thanks to that, he was able to divert his attention from the window. Planning to clear his head by also taking a shower, Nam Seonwoo opened the bathroom door.
‘Kim Minhwan, this bastard, really…’
Inside was a mess. It looked like someone had had a bathing war with a large dog—foam was on the floor, walls, and even the corner of the mirror up high. For Nam Seonwoo, who had only lived with the neat Kang Jihan, it was a shocking sight.
Since it was impossible to shower there, he had no choice but to clean the shower stall before washing himself. By the time he came out, quite a bit of time had passed.
Kim Minhwan was still snoring, lying face down on the floor. Nam Seonwoo considered waking him up but decided against it. Forcibly waking him to send him home would be a hassle, and he was tired from too many events since morning.
Nam Seonwoo headed to the bedroom, intending to get some sleep. But contrary to this intention, his legs automatically moved toward the window.
When he checked outside again, Kang Jihan’s car was gone.
