#80
When he said he would check if they were still just sex partners, Nam Seonwoo retorted while forcefully pulling the front door handle.
“I said we wouldn’t do it ten times.”
With a bang, the door lock engaged. Even though he heard it lock, Seonwoo didn’t release his hands from the handle for a long while. Though there was no way Kang Jihan would break down this door, somehow he felt like that bastard might do just that.
He was the kind of guy who didn’t care how many times his confessions were rejected. Recalling that guy who seemed to only know how to charge straight ahead stubbornly, Seonwoo reinforced his boundaries once more.
It seemed this would become a long-term battle.
* * *
To think that of all things, he’d end up as sex partners with Kang Jihan.
Though things in life rarely go as planned, he never imagined it would turn out like this. On his high school graduation day, he thought he was fortunate to become an adult. He believed he could escape Jihan since he wouldn’t have to see him in the classroom anymore.
But now he felt that it was precisely because they were adults that they’d become entangled in this way. At least as high school students, there would have been no drinking or sex involved.
Of course, strictly speaking, they’d only had a one-night stand, not become sex partners. He’d slept with him due to an ill-advised competitive spirit to win their power struggle, but it wouldn’t happen a second time.
‘Ten times my ass.’
Though Kang Jihan, who told him to call if he wanted sex, seemed to have designated himself as Seonwoo’s standby option, that wasn’t Seonwoo’s concern.
Seonwoo chewed on his straw. Somehow, he needed to take a stronger stance. Continuing to sleep with Jihan in an attempt to maintain a casual image didn’t seem like a good approach. Jihan was the type who could easily reach a hundred times and still want more. But then again, the thought of sleeping with someone else felt pointless when there was no emotional connection. Besides, there wasn’t even anyone else available.
While he was pondering if there was any solution, he noticed someone waving their hand in front of him.
“Hey, are you listening?”
Finally snapping out of his thoughts, Seonwoo looked at the face across from him. Park Gyuhyeon was exaggeratedly rolling his eyes.
“What did you say? I didn’t hear.”
“Forget it, damn it…”
Meeting Park Gyuhyeon after a year, he was all dressed up like a typical college student. The leather rider jacket that didn’t suit him at all and his slicked-back hair with wax were painful to look at, so Seonwoo desperately avoided his old friend’s face.
“What’s wrong with you? Been like that since earlier. Something happened?”
Gyuhyeon seemed to think Seonwoo looked troubled. Since it was true that Jihan was giving him a headache, Seonwoo just shrugged. Gyuhyeon then put on a serious expression and pressed his fingertips together.
“What is it? Tell your hyung. I’ve been in the real world for a year longer than you. A year might seem short, but it’s enough time to broaden one’s perspective and values.”
Seonwoo couldn’t help but laugh at the 21-year-old Park Gyuhyeon acting like a life mentor. He didn’t expect him to offer any real solutions, but sometimes answers come from unexpected places. For Gyuhyeon’s sake, who didn’t know about his orientation yet, Seonwoo omitted certain details while sharing his situation with Jihan.
“There’s someone I slept with once, and since then they’ve been sticking to me, saying they only want to sleep with me.”
Hearing what sounded like something trickling, Seonwoo looked up to see orange juice flowing from Gyuhyeon’s mouth. …Anyway, since he seemed to be listening intently, Seonwoo continued.
“I’m trying to figure out how to shake them off. Even when I say no, they don’t get it, so I want to do something more drastic.”
“You, you piece of trash,” Gyuhyeon exclaimed, slamming down his juice.
“You awful bastard! From what I hear, this person seems sincere about you, but you, you just used their body and… Wow, to think you’re my friend. Are you even human?”
“No, there was never any relationship to begin with! We just agreed to sleep together, and they consented to that.”
“Such garbage, seriously… How sad would that person be to hear those words? You jerk. You’ve been toying with someone’s feelings.”
“Hey, I’m the one who got played! They lied about sleeping with me, and I was so…!”
“How much must they have liked you to tell such a lie! You, as a man… Did you at least use a condom? If you say you didn’t, we’re no longer friends from today, you asshole. Did you or didn’t you?”
“…I did.”
Though I wasn’t the one who put it on. Seonwoo grumbled internally. It seemed he shouldn’t have brought this up. He wondered if things would have been different if he’d mentioned that the other person was a man, and moreover, that Kang Jihan whom Gyuhyeon knew, but his goal wasn’t to get Gyuhyeon on his side, so he let it go.
Gyuhyeon continued to scold Seonwoo for quite some time after that. He went on for several minutes about what constitutes a beautiful form of love and the proper attitude of a responsible adult. When Seonwoo grew quiet, Gyuhyeon seemed to calm down and cautiously asked:
“But do you really need to shake them off? Are they bothering you that much?”
Seonwoo briefly recalled the messages from the past few days. Though he’d deleted them immediately, he remembered what Jihan had sent.
“They’re not extremely annoying, but occasionally they message to ask if it’s not time for us to have sex again.”
“……”
Gyuhyeon seemed to finally realize that the other person wasn’t in their right mind. He nodded quietly.
“They’re more… aggressive than I thought.”
“I told you. I need to shake them off, right?”
“Hey, do you really dislike them that much?”
Dislike Kang Jihan? If that were the case, none of this would have happened. Seonwoo shook his head.
“It’s not that. They keep trying to become something. I just don’t like the idea of being entangled in any kind of relationship, whether it’s as lovers or sex partners.”
“So, you don’t dislike the person, but you want to remain strangers? I don’t understand. If you wanted to stay strangers, shouldn’t you have avoided sleeping with them in the first place?”
“…You’re right about that.”
Seonwoo rubbed his face. Although many contextual details had been omitted, Gyuhyeon was ultimately right.
The real problem was that Seonwoo liked Jihan too much from the start. His feelings were so strong that no matter how much he tried to cover and hide them, they kept leaking out here and there. And Jihan, both two years ago and now, had simply keenly noticed this.
“If you don’t really dislike them that much, why not try dating them? You never know how relationships will turn out.”
If I date him just because I like him, how will I take responsibility for Jihan when he’s left alone? Seonwoo asked himself silently.
“If you don’t want that, just block them.”
“……”
“Wait, are you at the same university?”
Same university, same liberal arts class, and now he even knew his home address. It seemed they were truly at an impasse. Seonwoo muttered with a serious face:
“Maybe I should just flee overseas.”
“…You’re joking, right? Because of just one person…”
Gyuhyeon stopped talking. There was no hint of humor in Seonwoo’s expression. Gyuhyeon’s expression also grew unusual. He kept smoothing down his glossy hair and sighed.
“What about showing them you’re with someone else?”
“Someone else?”
“Well, they say nothing is more effective than seeing something with your own eyes. From my experience, it’s only when you see the person you like with someone else that you face reality. It helps you give up faster too.”
It sounded quite plausible. But the problem was that there was no “someone else” to show. Seonwoo briefly reviewed his personal relationships.
Park Gyuhyeon… absolutely not. Pretending to be lovers with Gyuhyeon? They might both end up vomiting. Above all, there was no way Jihan would fall for it.
Feeling that his social circle was frustratingly small, Seonwoo heaved a deep sigh. If he hadn’t taken a gap year, he might have become close with some university classmates, but right now he only had awkward classmates…
Woong-.
A vibration sound rang loudly on the table. A call was coming in. Seonwoo’s gaze landed on the screen.
[Kim Minhwan]
At the three characters that appeared just in time, Seonwoo fell into thought.
Kim Minhwan… If it was Minhwan, it might be okay to explain the whole situation. Even if he inevitably had to come out in the process, Minhwan’s reaction was easy to predict. He would either be touched saying, “Thank you for trusting me and telling me,” or overreact saying, “What should I be careful about from now on?” One of the two.
‘Besides, he’s going to be gay anyway.’
Moreover, he knew Jihan and even took the contemporary history class with them. If Minhwan was willing, they could actively utilize that time. Thinking about it, there seemed to be no one more suitable than Minhwan.
“Your phone keeps ringing. Is it that person…?”
“No, a classmate.”
“A classmate calling on the weekend? Is it urgent? You should answer it.”
It was unusual to get a call on a weekend with no classes. And the fact that it was a call, not a message, suggested it might be important as Gyuhyeon said. Wondering if there was some assignment, Seonwoo picked up his phone.
“Yeah?”
-Hyung, what are you doing on the weekend?
Hearing the excited tone, it didn’t seem related to an assignment.
