#101
Kang Jihan’s frozen hand moved. But the direction was strange. The hand that Nam Seonwoo expected would reach for him suddenly moved toward the ingredients, picking up a cleanly boiled baby potato. Nam Seonwoo, once again, defensively received the food placed into his mouth.
“It’s almost ready. Just wait a little longer.”
…Well, well.
He was so dumbfounded that he couldn’t even manage a hollow laugh. Meanwhile, the potato was well-seasoned, pleasantly salty and delicious. As he chewed and swallowed the potato that broke apart softly in his mouth, Nam Seonwoo thought blankly.
It made no sense that after constantly making advances, Kang Jihan was now acting reserved. Plus, this was the first time he had made such an explicit overture. It was impossible not to feel hurt when a strategy he thought would definitely work didn’t. Feeling like he was the only one getting worked up, Nam Seonwoo grumbled against Kang Jihan’s shoulder.
“What’s the point of having a boyfriend who’s good at cooking? He can’t even take a hint.”
Kang Jihan pushed the knife away and tried to unwrap the arms around his waist. Nam Seonwoo had considered just leaving after the continued rejection, but by this point, his stubbornness had kicked in. When Nam Seonwoo firmly held his position, Kang Jihan could only hold his arms, unable to move either way, and then sighed.
“…Let’s eat first.”
‘Is this guy really sighing right now?’
Nam Seonwoo pulled his face away from the shoulder, about to snap back. But he paused at the red color filling his vision.
The usually stoic Kang Jihan was completely flushed. His neck exposed above the t-shirt and the tips of his ears slightly covered by hair were all dyed the same color. Nam Seonwoo, staring at that transparent reaction, raised his tiptoes a bit higher. After glancing down, he quietly swallowed a laugh.
‘What a funny guy.’
He didn’t seem to be impotent. Then why was he so intent on just feeding him? There was no way to know, but he could clearly tell that the advantage had shifted to his side.
Nam Seonwoo lightly rested his cheek against Kang Jihan’s back. His cheek, bulging round from the candy, rubbed against Kang Jihan’s back.
“I’m not that hungry.”
Besides, having sex with a full stomach would only make him feel bloated. Nam Seonwoo mumbled while rolling the candy stick with his tongue.
“If there’s something I really want to eat…”
Pretending to adjust his embrace, he subtly lowered his hand. His fingers that had been fidgeting on Kang Jihan’s stomach stretched downward. Just as his knuckles were about to bend, his wrist was firmly seized.
“…You really.”
Where was the person who couldn’t even detach one arm earlier? Kang Jihan easily unwound both of Nam Seonwoo’s arms. Gathering both mischievous wrists in one hand like putting on handcuffs, he kept rubbing his face with his other hand.
After a long sigh, Kang Jihan turned around. His expression was complicated.
“What’s with you today?”
“What do you mean?”
Nam Seonwoo said, wiggling his mouth.
“You’re the one who said no one was home. So I followed you here, but what’s with you?”
“I said I’d make you something delicious.”
“Wasn’t that code for ‘let’s have sex’?”
“…”
Wow, it can get even redder from there. Nam Seonwoo marveled at the face that had become even more flushed. It was hard to believe that this guy was the same person who had sent messages with sexual overtones and declared he would sleep with him a hundred times.
Kang Jihan said with a disgruntled face:
“You like taking things slow.”
“Taking what slow?”
“You said even holding hands was too fast.”
He was apparently talking about pacing. Bringing up a conversation they had at the playground on the day they first agreed to date was ridiculous.
“…Hey. But haven’t we already done everything?”
“Done everything?”
At the slightly sharp voice, Nam Seonwoo asked indignantly:
“We’ve had sex… right?”
“That wasn’t when we were dating. Not officially.”
“Come on, we’re not kids…”
“Sit down. We need to eat and watch a movie.”
There’s even a movie…? Nam Seonwoo’s mouth fell open in shock. What Kang Jihan had prepared was, in other words, a textbook date course that could be found written somewhere. It was only natural that Kang Jihan’s phone notepad came to mind at that moment.
“…Did you learn about dating from articles?”
“What?”
“Feed your partner a nice meal and show them a movie, and the mood will improve?”
“…”
As I thought. Nam Seonwoo sighed internally. But after hearing his “plan” that had been somewhat established, he finally understood. He wasn’t just putting on airs for nothing. Kang Jihan was trying to rebutton the first button that had been incorrectly fastened after their reunion. Unlike the time when they had childish pride battles about being “sex friends” or “one night stands,” he was trying to follow the proper order of a relationship. Starting from the beginning, step by step.
Imagining Kang Jihan studying just like when he had looked for “how to appear older,” Nam Seonwoo’s sigh carried a hint of laughter.
“Why are you looking elsewhere? If you want to know what I like, you should ask me. I don’t like eating a full meal before sex. I’d rather have both dinner and the movie after.”
Of course, watching a movie immersed in the afterglow of sex only happened in the early days of their relationship, and even then, it was rare enough to count on one hand. Though he couldn’t remember what movie they had watched, he vaguely recalled that the feeling had been extremely good.
As Nam Seonwoo stepped closer, Kang Jihan tried to step back just as much. But behind him was the counter. Nam Seonwoo extended his hands to either side of Kang Jihan’s waist, caging him in, and said without erasing his smile:
“So, let’s do it.”
Despite speaking so directly, Nam Seonwoo didn’t get the expected response from Kang Jihan. Though he seemed to have crossed over both upward and downward in outward appearance, Kang Jihan’s brow was deeply furrowed, hesitating about something. Out of frustration, a complaint shot out.
“You don’t want to do it with me?”
“That’s impossible.”
“Then why? Suddenly feeling reluctant because I’ve been around the block?”
Kang Jihan was the type to take back even unnecessary words he had uttered two years ago. So Nam Seonwoo wondered if he was also keeping in mind the boastful lies he had told in bed. When he spoke with a sarcastic tone, his cheeks were suddenly grabbed.
“Want to talk like that?”
With his cheeks pressed by thumb and index finger, Nam Seonwoo, now resembling a goldfish, flapped his lips.
“Jeez, then why are you acting like this!”
Just last week, it was Nam Seonwoo who had restrained Kang Jihan, telling him to wait until rehabilitation was over. He wondered if perhaps Kang Jihan had interpreted his rejection as wanting to take things slowly. All sorts of thoughts crossed his mind. But the answer that came after a brief silence was something he hadn’t considered at all.
“What if you get tired of me?”
Kang Jihan pressed his cheeks harder and said:
“You said it yourself. Holding onto someone whose feelings have faded shows a lack of respect.”
“…”
“If we do everything we want right away, what if you really get tired of me this time? How would I hold onto you then?”
Nam Seonwoo blinked. He couldn’t even care that his face was being ridiculously scrunched up right now.
“So I’m going to take it slow. So you don’t get tired of me.”
Nam Seonwoo had wondered why Kang Jihan was being surprisingly well-behaved even after rehabilitation ended; it seemed he had sorted out his thoughts in his own way.
Nam Seonwoo grumbled inwardly. How could he get tired of someone he had liked for fifteen years? No, that wasn’t quite right anymore. It wasn’t just fifteen years now. He had liked this foolish guy for several more years since returning to the past.
When Nam Seonwoo went quiet, Kang Jihan released his cheeks. But Nam Seonwoo didn’t lower his arms that were caging Kang Jihan. Keeping his hands on the counter, he rested his face against Kang Jihan’s chest, causing the already stiff chest to harden like a stone.
“Alright.”
At the compliant answer, Nam Seonwoo could feel Kang Jihan relaxing.
“But Jihan.”
When he called his name, the voice that came back with an “Mm?” was softly loosened. Even the hands that had been pushing him away now carefully wrapped around Nam Seonwoo’s back. So Nam Seonwoo pressed his body closer and said:
“Let’s take it slow starting tomorrow. Right now, I…”
As he ground himself dully against him, Kang Jihan stiffened again. But it was too late. Nam Seonwoo deliberately mumbled with his lips against his chest.
“Want to do it.”
“…”
“Just once.”
Hmm? The moment Nam Seonwoo looked up at Kang Jihan, vibrating his throat, he was certain of victory. In fact, he didn’t even need to look up. The rubbing member was twitching as much as Kang Jihan’s tense jaw.
After all, no matter how much of a Kang Jihan he was, he was still just a hot-blooded twenty-one-year-old. A child whose surging vigor preceded reason.
The moment Nam Seonwoo smiled with his eyes while maintaining eye contact, Kang Jihan lifted him up in his arms. Wrapping his legs around Kang Jihan’s waist, Nam Seonwoo suddenly recalled that this exact same scene had occurred two years ago. Back then, he had also carried him straight to the bedroom, and now it was the same. Even the rough gesture of practically throwing him onto the bed.
As Nam Seonwoo raised his upper body, Kang Jihan climbed onto the bed. It felt like the past image of lying under the same blanket on this bed was being drawn before his eyes. It was the same bed, the same blanket as back then, but the meaning of “sleeping” had changed significantly.
“You’re the one who said you wanted to do it.”
At the deeply lowered voice, Nam Seonwoo quietly swallowed. In truth, he had been secretly anticipating this since Kang Jihan’s face had reddened like an awkward novice. So he answered with a kiss. While holding Kang Jihan’s cheeks with both hands, he bit his lip hard, causing hot breath to pour over his lips.
In an instant, his neck was seized as Kang Jihan delved into his mouth. Though they had kissed plenty of times before, just the fact that they were on a bed made the feeling strangely different. Unlike usual, the hasty and clumsy kiss resembled the heat they had shared secretly in the infirmary. But it was heavier and wetter.
Kang Jihan’s breath, the temperature of skin felt by both hands, and the hazy yet pitch-black sunken eyes. Everything that made up Kang Jihan clearly indicated his intentions. At that moment, an indescribable sensation sent a shiver down Nam Seonwoo’s spine. It was a more weighty and fulfilling sensation than the triumph of breaking down Kang Jihan.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
