“That reminds me. Just thinking about how Ihaeja’s boyfriend got jealous of me back then is so ridiculous it makes my head spin….”
Ihaeja had been in a long-term relationship for quite some time. When the four of them briefly met together—Dojin included—because of the exorcism video, that partner had seen Dojin and, all on his own, developed a sense of rivalry and wariness. At the time, Dojin’s body had already fully matured, so when he wore casual clothes, there was no way he looked like a student.
Recalling that moment, Iri smiled faintly. Once Ihaeja and Dojin realized that the partner had misunderstood the situation, they’d been so dumbfounded it crossed into outright nausea, retching at the absurdity together. Iri had found that reaction amusing and smiled to himself for quite a while afterward whenever the scene came to mind.
“Ihaeja’s still dating that person. Apparently, he felt really bad about what happened to you.”
“I did hear the apology. But they’ve been together for quite a long time. How many years has it been?”
“Thirty, I think.”
“Do divine spirits usually stay together that long once they start dating?”
“Divine spirits differ just as humans do. Scholars tend to break up pretty quickly.”
“What about you, Master?”
The hands that had been deftly assembling parts suddenly froze, as if someone had pressed a pause button. Seizing the opening, Dojin took the curio from Iri and continued assembling it himself, sneaking glances at him as he spoke.
“You must’ve dated before too, right? When you do, are you the type to stay together for a long time?”
“…….”
“I’m not the petty type who gets jealous over the past, so feel free to answer. You’ve lived so long—I don’t believe you’ve never had a beloved.”
Iri let out a sigh inwardly and looked at Dojin. Dojin had pressed his lips tightly together, clearly determined to get an answer no matter what. Uncharacteristically, Iri rolled his eyes around for a moment before speaking.
“Dojin. I….”
“Yes.”
“I’ve never dated.”
“…….”
Dojin’s eyes and mouth widened as far as physically possible.
“Never… dated…?”
“Yeah. Not even once.”
“…….”
“…….”
“Immortals… can’t lie… right?”
“Yeah. We can’t….”
“…That’s insane.”
Dojin stared wide-eyed before flinging what he was holding away. The curio shattered back into pieces with a loud crash. Paying it no mind, Dojin jumped to his feet and shouted.
“So I’m the first!”
“What?” Iri froze in confusion. Dojin spun around in place once, then shouted again.
“I’m the first…!”
“What are you talking about? First what? Get a grip….”
“I’m the first…!”
“Dojin. We are not dating, and you are my disciple. I even changed your diapers—”
“Not yet, but soon I’ll be your first romantic partner!”
Dojin leapt to conclusions all on his own, growing giddy by himself. His eyes burned with fierce intensity.
“Master! You’re my first too. Ever since I was a baby, I’ve only liked you. But for you to live that long without dating anyone and wait for me… How can something like this even happen? Thank you, Master!”
Dojin grabbed both of Iri’s hands tightly. They were hot. Dojin got excited easily, and when he did, his body heated up just as easily.
Iri let out a low groan.
Who was waiting for whom… And why are you thanking me, for what….
Knowing that the excited Jangsa wouldn’t hear him anyway, all he could do was wait for Dojin to calm down.
After that, Dojin continued rampaging about, snorting with excitement as if blowing steam through his nose. Only when a gigantic serpent customer wearing a white dress rang the doorbell did he finally settle down.
“I’m nearing the time when I need to lay my eggs….”
The enormous serpent twisted her body shyly. While refilling her tea, Dojin felt chills crawl up his spine, but he endured it without showing any sign. She wasn’t a demon or a yokai, but a full-fledged Yeongmul, so even Dojin couldn’t afford to be disrespectful.
“As you know, Immortal, when us serpents lay eggs, we absolutely need a partner. But in the area where I live, there isn’t a single serpent to pair up with. At this rate, I won’t be able to lay my eggs at all.”
“Did you ask a divine spirit to check?”
“Yes. Even the Mountain Divine Spirit searched through all the nearby mountains to see if there were any serpents he could introduce, but he couldn’t find one that matched what I’m looking for.”
So in the end, she’d come asking for a matchmaking introduction.
Matters like this—unrelated to curios—were technically under the welfare center’s jurisdiction, but Wia tended to seek out Immortal Iri no matter what.
The welfare center referred to facilities run by spirits, much like the Podo Office, clinics, or immigration offices. Their main role was to help Wia living in the human realm. However, since the system was relatively new and poorly advertised, many Wia still didn’t know such facilities existed. Just like this serpent.
At this point, we should change the name from rental shop to comprehensive service center.
Clicking his tongue, Dojin checked the request form the serpent had filled out herself.
[Name: Silver Jane
Species: Serpent
Habitat: Daemosan, Gangnam-gu, Seoul
Contact: 010-0000-0000
Request: I want to find a partner to lay eggs together]
Gangnam-gu was a place where wandering spirits and minor ghosts were common, but Yeongmul were rare. Serpents were especially scarce even across the entire Korean Peninsula, so it made sense that finding a partner would be difficult.
But her name is Silver Jane?
Her scales were silver, but still…. He wondered if she’d chosen it herself.
“Did you choose your name yourself, by any chance?”
As always, Dojin asked without holding back.
The serpent nodded, the corners of her eyes lifting happily.
“Yes. My original name was rustic, so I chose it myself. If you want to live in the modern era, shouldn’t you keep pace with it?”
“That’s an admirable attitude.”
“And are you human?”
“Yes. I’m Immortal Iri’s one and only—”
At that moment, because of what had happened earlier, Iri felt a spike of anxiety that Dojin might say ‘lover’.
“Disciple.”
Fortunately, Dojin didn’t put Iri in an awkward position.
“I see. Please take good care of Immortal Iri. If someday my children could also become the Immortal’s disciples, that would be wonderful.”
Dojin imagined countless baby serpents slithering after Iri in a swarm.
He quickly took a sip of tea to suppress the creeping shiver, worried the Yeongmul might notice.
“When are you expecting to lay your eggs?”
“This Friday. I didn’t intend it, but it’s Black Day. I don’t want to celebrate Black Day at all.”
“What’s Black Day?”
When Iri tilted his head in confusion, Dojin laughed.
“It’s the day single people eat jajangmyeon. Has nothing to do with us—”
Dojin’s lips abruptly clamped shut, and not by his own volition.
Iri, who had unconsciously placed a ‘Golden Word Command’ on his disciple, spoke in an even tone.
“Got it. I’ll try to look for someone. Let me know if you have a preferred type. Dojin, take notes.”
“…….”
Without a word, Dojin prepared to write on the request form. The serpent, shy yet thorough, explained every single preference she had.
“Male or female doesn’t matter, but I’d like a serpent who enjoys transforming into a human form. It would be nice if they were interested in human culture in general. Most importantly, I don’t care for serpents who don’t know English. They don’t need to be fluent, but I’d like them to at least know the alphabet. Just being able to read my name would be enough. My ideal type, which I’ve cherished for a long time, is a serpent reading an English newspaper.”
As he wrote, Dojin felt his vision darken.
Iri nodded gently.
“Mm. And anything else?”
“That’s all I ask for. I don’t think it’s that demanding, but I don’t know why it’s so hard to find. As for their character, if it’s a serpent introduced by you, Immortal, I’ll trust them completely.”
“I’ll do my best to find a good serpent. If you do form a pair, would you be willing to relocate?”
The serpent, who’d answered without hesitation until now, fell into thought. Something like a lizard’s forelimb extended out and propped up her chin.
“If I truly like the serpent you introduce, I could move. Where I live now isn’t suitable for laying and raising eggs.”
“Understood. I’ll contact you soon.”
“Yes, thank you so much, Immortal Iri.”
Silver Jane pushed her chair back with a creak and stood up. Iri and Dojin stood as well. Around then, the command sealing Dojin’s speech was lifted, and as he looked at Silver Jane’s carefully chosen dress and graceful figure, he spoke.
“So… you’re not taking photos or anything?”
“Photos?”
“Photos?”
Iri and the serpent asked in unison.
“In short, this is basically a blind date or matchmaking, right? Then photos of the candidate are essential. At least in human society.”
“That’s very important indeed. You’re absolutely right.”
Silver Jane strongly agreed with Dojin. She pulled out her phone from her handbag and stretched out her arm to take a selfie. She looked practiced, as if she’d done it many times before.
“Immortal, I’ll send my selfies to you via messenger.”
“Uh… yes. Do that.”
“Do you have any preferences regarding appearance? Like needing to be over three meters tall, or having silver scales. Appearance is also treated as a very important matter in human society.”
Jane narrowed her vertical pupils with keen interest and flicked her tongue.
“I’ve never thought much about looks, but their scales shouldn’t be yellow. And to protect our eggs, it would be better if they had a large body. I’d like you to send me a photo of the serpent you introduce in advance.”
As if her ideal type weren’t already demanding enough, she’d added appearance to the list as well.
