“…….”
“A Jangsa and a Taoist, with Immortal Iri as your guardian, heading straight for Immortalhood, and after that becoming the King of the True Mortal Realm. Wow, insane. Dating an existence like that would be fucking incredible. Don’t you think so, Master?”
“…….”
“Master? Why are you suddenly looking somewhere else? Look at me. Look into my eyes.”
Dojin gazed steadily at Iri. Faced with eyes brimming with naked desire, Iri quietly averted his gaze.
“You know, back in the day, I didn’t like this monstrous strength of mine. Not at all. But now it’s different. I’m actually grateful for it. Want to know why?”
“Who knows…. What time is it now….”
“Because it lets me stay by your side.”
“…….”
Dojin lifted his chair and scooted even closer to Iri. Startled, Iri clutched his teacup as if it were a lifeline and leaned his body as far back as he could.
“If I didn’t have this strength, if I weren’t some kind of unknown, extraordinary being, I wouldn’t have met you. So no matter what it is, I’m just grateful.”
“I-I see. More importantly, the time right now…. It’s seven.”
“You’re cute. I keep telling you—don’t think you can dodge this forever—wait. What time did you say it was?”
“Seven.”
“…….”
Sunrise had already passed. Dojin’s greasy, smug expression instantly twisted into that of a ferocious yaksha.
“Don’t tell me those Pseudo-Ants bastards…!”
Riiing.
As if on cue, the rental shop phone rang. Just as Dojin reached for it, Iri blocked him, even using Taoist arts to do so.
“Yes, this is Iri. Ah, Pseudo-Ants. I was just waiting for your call. …What? You found the food?”
Just as Dojin was about to scream, Iri snapped his fingers, sealing his mouth shut. A Golden Word Command.
“Oh, the snail you rescued gathered all the snails in the area and searched for several nights straight. I see…. That’s very kind of them. …It’s fine. Don’t worry, and sleep well. Yes, goodbye.”
Only after hanging up did Iri release the spell on Dojin. Dojin immediately exploded.
“YOU FUCKING LEECHES! I WRESTLED A DOKKAEBI TO GET THAT STUFF AND STAYED UP ALL NIGHT MAKING FOOD—AND NOW YOU DON’T NEED IT?! YOU SONS OF BITCHES! I’M NOT LETTING THIS GO! MASTER! WHERE DID YOU SAY THE PSEUDO-ANTS LIVE?! I’M GOING TO COLLECT EVERY BIT OF VIRTUE I’M OWED! YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!”
“Watch your language. You’re losing virtue.”
“LET IT GO! I’LL JUST DO THREE MORE GOOD DEEDS!”
Cursing loudly, Dojin enthusiastically burned through the virtue he’d painstakingly accumulated.
At least the awkward atmosphere had vanished, but now the deal with the Pseudo-Ants had turned into a net loss instead. Immortal Iri seriously began to wonder if he needed to establish a new ‘no-show’ rule.
3) Plague
Humans do not know of the world above the sky—a place one can reach only after accumulating great virtue and cultivation. The true mortal realm.
In the True Mortal Realm ruled by the King, countless beings live together: Immortals, divine beasts, divine spirits, minor gods, and their retinues. With sufficient virtue, one may build a residence. Most keep their homes simple and modest, but there is one palace that stands out for its sheer splendor.
A palace even more dazzling than the King’s own. Draped in curtains of brilliantly colored silk and adorned with jewels of every hue, the owner of this palace was none other than the Butterfly Immortal.
The Butterfly Immortal favored extravagance over simplicity, noise over quiet, so his palace was perpetually in a state of celebration—but today was different. In the grand hall, chilled with tension, the Butterfly Immortal erupted in anger.
“This is driving me insane. How did things get this bad without anyone saying a word?”
“…….”
“…….”
“You think keeping your mouths shut will solve anything? Answer me. Now.”
At his furious shout, the butterflies fluttering around him scattered all at once—only to gradually gather again. Annoyed, the Butterfly Immortal waved them away and pressed on.
“Why did you keep quiet about another plague spreading?!”
“Well….”
Of the ten attendants gathered in the hall, the closest one—Jangmito—immediately dropped to his knees and spoke.
“It seems everyone thought it was just a mild illness….”
“After what we went through with the last severe plague, how could you all be so careless?”
“Unlike the previous outbreak, this time everyone only showed mild cold symptoms. No serious fever—just sneezing. Then this morning, they all suddenly died, and everyone was left stunned…. We reported it as soon as we received word.”
“When did you receive the report?”
“Twelve minutes ago. I informed you immediately.”
Ten minutes earlier, the Butterfly Immortal had been in the middle of a banquet with other residents of the true mortal realm when he received the urgent report and halted the festivities—so Jangmito was telling the truth.
The Butterfly Immortal pressed hard against his forehead. Each movement set his earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and rings clinking together. Even his usually white feathered robe had been dyed in brilliant colors, making him dazzlingly conspicuous from afar.
“Down below, it’s spring—when flowers are in full bloom and honeybees and butterflies should be everywhere. For a plague to spread twice during this season is a problem. And unlike last time, this time ten honeybees and butterfly spirits died before we could even intervene. This is serious—no. Maybe not serious, but it’s definitely strange.”
“They’re honeybees, not honey….”
“Is that really what matters right now?”
When the Butterfly Immortal snapped, another attendant elbowed Jangmito sharply. Jangmito bowed even deeper.
After tapping the armrest with his long, manicured nails, the Butterfly Immortal finally spoke.
“I need to report this.”
“Report it…? To whom—ah. To the King? Is this really serious enough to trouble His Majesty?”
“This isn’t under the King’s jurisdiction. There’s someone else responsible for matters in the middle realm.”
“Ah….”
Realizing who he meant, Jangmito let out a quiet sigh. The Butterfly Immortal sprang to his feet from the silk-draped throne.
“I’ll request permission to descend. Prepare to head to the middle realm!”
***
The branches of the oak tree that handled the landscaping for Iri’s Curio Rental Shop were snipped cleanly, one after another. The landscaping worker, Gwak Seong-hun, had been in charge of pruning here for twenty years, and his skills only improved with time. Diligent, dependable, and friendly, he was someone Iri intended to keep hiring for years to come.
Alongside the boiler repairman, he was the human who visited Iri’s Curio Rental Shop most often—naturally without knowing it was a mystical place. He simply thought it was a slightly unusual private home that grew oak trees in its yard. He never noticed that the property was far larger inside than it appeared from the gate, nor that the homeowner, a young man named Iri, had retained the same clean, youthful appearance for twenty years.
“Woooow. Humans are amazing. Looks like he’s just hacking away, but somehow it ends up neat.”
“What’s so amazing about that? The poor tree.”
“Immortal Iri. What are you gonna do with that wood? Give it to me?”
“We already agreed to split it! Why would I give it to you?”
“I was just asking. Why are you yelling?”
“Because you asked something out of nowhere!”
“What’s ‘out of nowhere’ about it?”
“Ugh. You’re too dumb to talk to.”
The young, small-fry Wia squatted nearby, bickering among themselves. Listening to them, Iri smiled softly. On pruning days, he always invited the local small-fry Wia to share the leftovers. Watching squirrels, mountain rabbits, and tiny titmouse-root Wia gather together was one of his simple joys.
When the work was done, the landscaping employee sat at the garden picnic table, enjoying the tea and yakgwa Dojin had brought.
“Who’d have thought that little kid would grow this big? Everything seems to grow in this house. Trees grow several times faster than normal, people shoot up like weeds too. Only the homeowner stays small.”
The worker laughed heartily. Gwak Seong-hun had watched Dojin come and go since he was tiny. While teasing them, he failed to notice that the homeowner hadn’t gained a single wrinkle during all those years.
“I am pretty tall. I might grow even more—my growth phase isn’t over yet.”
“What a problem. I can’t exactly prune a human for you.”
“That’s a horrifying thing to say.”
“Hey, imagining it makes you even more horrifying. By the way, what university did you get into? Semester just started—shouldn’t you be out chasing girls?”
“I didn’t go to college. I’m too busy hanging out with my brother. No time for school.”
In front of ordinary humans who didn’t know the truth—aside from family—Dojin called Iri his ‘older brother’. Even so, because Iri looked younger, many people felt an odd sense of dissonance.
“What? Why not college? You were a decent student. I remember Iri praising you for getting first place in your grade once.”
“My choice.”
“Kids these days are all strange. A couple years back, my daughter got caught up in some weird superstition, ran away saying she wouldn’t go to high school and wanted to become a shaman. If it weren’t for Mr. Iri talking her down, she’d probably still be roaming around outside.”
Iri smiled awkwardly.
