# Chapter 10
Mugyeong stared at Haeseung’s lips—lips that had already shared kisses with someone else—with feelings of anger and emptiness mixed together. Without averting his gaze, he watched intently as Haeseung began to realize some kind of fracture between them. The naked agitation Haeseung displayed became the spark that ignited Mugyeong’s desire. This desire was something he had only learned to endure for a very long time. But in this moment, enduring it was overwhelming, and he couldn’t find a reason why he should.
Mugyeong pressed his lips against Haeseung’s. When their lips touched, Mugyeong couldn’t feel anything, so he couldn’t tell how stiff Haeseung had become from shock and surprise. Of course, he also couldn’t notice how Haeseung, who had been trembling the entire time, had suddenly stopped shaking. Mugyeong’s mind went blank, leaving him unable to decide what action to take next while their lips remained connected.
During that moment, Haeseung gently pushed Mugyeong’s body away. The clumsy kiss was extremely brief.
“The sun’s up,” Haeseung said in a tone that seemed to deliberately hide his awkwardness and confusion. At the same time, there was a carefulness in his voice, as if he didn’t want to further disturb the ripples that had formed between them, trying to keep things from becoming too clear. Mugyeong slowly turned his eyes to gaze at the red sun that had risen halfway. Haeseung’s eyes were focused on the same spot. The two silently watched as the sun completely emerged from the horizon. The distant sea was being dyed in a burning vermilion color.
“Now that we’ve seen the sunrise, should we head back?”
“…”
“It’s cold.”
Haeseung, who had been waiting for Mugyeong’s answer, left those words and turned around first.
On the way back to their lodging, the dawn made flashlights unnecessary. There was no conversation. It was as if nothing was important to either of them except watching where they stepped in the snow.
As soon as they arrived at the guesthouse, Haeseung slipped into the bathroom. Soon, the sound of water could be heard, but for a while, it was literally just the sound of water running from the faucet.
The splashing sounds that suggested he was washing his face only came much later. Mugyeong couldn’t sit down and kept choosing and re-choosing words to say to Haeseung.
Were you very cold? What time should we leave? Do you want to sleep a bit more if you’re tired? Are you angry that I kissed you? I’m sorry.
Mugyeong shook his head. Every single phrase felt equally ridiculous, pathetic, and petty.
Eventually, the sound of the door opening was heard, and Haeseung came out of the bathroom. In that moment, a completely unexpected question came out of Mugyeong’s mouth with surprising naturalness.
“Do you want some cup ramen?”
Haeseung paused a little but soon nodded with a complicated expression and a resigned smile.
During the three minutes it took for the cup ramen to cook, Mugyeong kept his head down like a criminal, staring only at the timer he’d set on his smartphone.
“Kang Mugyeong.”
“Yeah?”
“Would you prefer that I ask why you did that to me? Or would you rather I just let it go?”
“…”
“If it’s difficult to answer, I won’t ask.”
The timer rang loudly, and Mugyeong turned it off.
“Let’s eat first.”
The time spent eating cup ramen with a strange taste that was neither his preference nor Haeseung’s was a brief reprieve given to Mugyeong. If it was difficult to explain why he did what he did, he didn’t have to answer—Haeseung seemed excessively kind. Mugyeong saw through that kind consideration; it actually stemmed from Haeseung’s resistance to hearing anything from Mugyeong. While thinking about this, the amount of cup ramen steadily decreased.
“I was thinking while eating, and I should probably ask after all. Was it because of the cold?”
Haeseung, having finished his cup ramen, asked.
“What?”
“You said before that kissing raises body temperature. Did you want to experiment? But what we did wasn’t a kiss, it was just a peck. You haven’t kissed anyone before, right? So would I be your first kiss partner? But again, that was just a peck, not a kiss.”
“…”
Haeseung was rambling uncharacteristically. In contrast, Mugyeong couldn’t utter a single word, as if his lips were sealed shut.
“So you don’t have to think of me as your first kiss partner.”
“…”
Since Haeseung had already drawn his own conclusion, Mugyeong didn’t know how to respond. It was an innocent conclusion—and because of its innocence, a harsh one. Should he go along with what Haeseung wanted to believe? Knowing what Haeseung’s desperate look meant, Mugyeong was cautious about saying anything. Mugyeong’s desperate desire to possess Haeseung once again prepared to endure. He thought he was quite accustomed to it, but today it felt newly difficult and painful.
“But you really haven’t had your first kiss yet, right?”
Apparently whether or not he had his first kiss was really bothering Haeseung. Was this his way of being generous, willing to overlook the impulsive act of a friend who hadn’t even kissed anyone by the age of twenty? It was difficult to define his current feelings in one word, but if pressed, “devastating” would come close. As Mugyeong ruminated on Haeseung’s question, laughter spilled out involuntarily, as if he’d lost his mind.
Haeseung looked at Mugyeong, who suddenly burst out laughing, with puzzled eyes. Mugyeong slowly stopped laughing. If he were to say that he had no desire to kiss anyone else but Haeseung for his entire life, and therefore Haeseung would eventually become his first kiss, what expression would Haeseung make?
“Do you know why I’m laughing?”
“No idea.”
“No, you do know. Say it confidently—the reason you’re thinking of.”
“Because my question was stupid?”
“You really do know.”
“It was written all over your face.”
Mugyeong cleared away the cup ramen. Haeseung pretended to help but gave up and lay down on the floor.
“If you lie down right after eating, you’ll get indigestion.”
“I won’t be able to digest this properly anyway.”
“Is it the same for you?” was almost about to escape from Mugyeong’s lips. While brushing his teeth, Mugyeong nudged Haeseung’s backside with his toes. It was Mugyeong’s way of trying to dissolve the awkward atmosphere with playfulness. However, Haeseung avoided it irritably, exuding a hostile energy that said “don’t touch me.” After rinsing his mouth and coming out of the bathroom, Haeseung got up with a groan and went into the bathroom.
Mugyeong put on his jumper and left the room. The owner was sweeping the snow piled up in the yard with a broom. Feeling awkward just passing by, Mugyeong spoke up.
“Would you like some help?”
“It’s fine.”
“I’ll help you. It’ll help with digestion too.”
The owner reluctantly handed over the broom. After watching with satisfaction as Mugyeong swept with surprising speed and enthusiasm, the owner went back into the main house without even saying goodbye. Mugyeong kept moving his hands without pause. The more he moved his body, the more his complicated thoughts became neatly arranged.
A while later, Haeseung opened the door and came out. Walking slowly, when his eyes met Mugyeong’s, he pretended to be angry, turned his head sharply, and walked past Mugyeong quickly. Then, after just a few steps, he fell down noisily. Mugyeong stopped sweeping completely and watched Haeseung quietly. Haeseung didn’t get up for a while, not because he was injured but because he seemed embarrassed. He probably had a lot of thoughts about how to get through this difficulty.
“Want me to help you up?”
“No thanks.”
Red-faced, Haeseung brushed the snow off his backside and got up. Mugyeong deliberately resumed sweeping with an indifferent expression. He was about to faint from trying not to laugh, but he felt he should show Haeseung at least minimal courtesy.
Haeseung turned around and approached Mugyeong.
“What are you doing?”
“Why did you come out instead of just sleeping? That’s why you fell.”
“I came out wanting to fall.”
“It looked natural.”
“Let me try that. It looks fun.”
Haeseung took the broom almost forcibly. After some unimpressive sweeping, it seemed he lost interest, and the broom returned to Mugyeong’s hands. Haeseung began making a snowman with the snow Mugyeong had swept into a pile in one corner of the yard. Yesterday a snowball fight, today a snowman. You really want to do all kinds of childish things with snow, Mugyeong thought to himself. By the time Mugyeong had cleared all the snow, Haeseung had completed a fairly impressive snowman. Just when Mugyeong thought he was finished, Haeseung started rolling another snowball.
“How many are you making?”
“Two. You and me.”
Mugyeong’s gaze turned to the already completed snowman.
“Then who’s that one?”
“Obviously me. My birthday comes first.”
“How profound.”
It made sense that Haeseung would consider being born 5 months earlier than Mugyeong a point of pride. The second snowman Haeseung quickly created had something visibly odd about it.
“What do you think? I made it well, right?”
“It’s a bit strange. My snowman is shorter.”
“You just don’t get it. They’re only five years old. It makes sense that I’m taller.”
“Truly profound.”
Mugyeong nodded greatly, accepting this. Haeseung looked at the side-by-side snowmen with satisfied eyes.
“Our Kang Mugyeong was so cute at five.”
“So you did have an eye for these things.”
“But I was cuter.”
“You’re still cuter now. You can have all the cute stuff. I’ll take all the cool stuff.”
Haeseung’s spicy fist hit Mugyeong’s arm. When Mugyeong didn’t react, Haeseung’s fist flew once more. Mugyeong grabbed Haeseung’s wrist with a snap. Mugyeong’s piercing gaze fixed on Haeseung’s face. Large eyes, slightly frightened by the unexpected counterattack, looked up at Mugyeong. Without knowing the clear reason himself, Mugyeong looked down at Haeseung’s lips.
“Hey, I won’t hit you. Let go.”
“How many times did you kiss that person?”
“What?”
“How many times did you kiss your ex-girlfriend?”
Haeseung’s expression alternated between embarrassment and bewilderment.
“I don’t know. I never counted. If it were you, would you count every time you kissed someone?”
The desire that had just been suppressed was now running wild in all directions. When Mugyeong came to his senses, he was already devouring Haeseung’s lips. Mugyeong parted Haeseung’s lips without hesitation. He held Haeseung’s waist tightly with one arm, pressing their bodies together without any gap. Finding Haeseung’s hot tongue, he sucked on it freely. He also brushed the smooth palate with the tip of his tongue. It was sweet, delicious, and ecstatic. Mugyeong removed his lips and whispered softly to the completely frozen Haeseung.
“One.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
