# Chapter 68
The next day, the fever still hadn’t subsided. Although medicine made it somewhat bearable, Jeongyun had to refrain from Guiding as much as possible, so he had no choice but to take sick leave and rest at home.
It was boring just lying in bed doing nothing, but moving around carelessly would likely extend his recovery period.
During that time, there had been no contact from Domin. The pager and phone that had been constantly ringing were now silent. Only Wooyeon occasionally sent messages asking if he was okay.
‘Has he given up now?’
While fidgeting with the pager out of vague concern, Jeongyun fell asleep.
After three days, the fever that had been tormenting Jeongyun finally disappeared. This cold had been particularly long and severe. He wasn’t sure if it was because he had been caught in the winter rain or if his body had weakened due to Guiding.
‘Maybe both.’
Jeongyun got out of bed, took off his sweat-soaked pajamas, and went into the bathroom. After leisurely finishing his preparations for work and leaving home, snow was falling from the sky. It really was winter.
It wasn’t thick snowflakes but sleet, yet it was the first snow of the year. Jeongyun reached out his hand to catch the falling snow. The snow that gently landed on his palm quickly melted away.
He quickly set aside his appreciation and hurried to work. When it snowed, more people used public transportation, which meant the subway would be more crowded than usual.
As expected, he arrived at headquarters on a subway that was more packed with people than usual. Perhaps because it was his first time going to work in three whole days, his heart was racing, similar to when he first became a Guide and went to work.
He entered the spacious lobby through the revolving doors. Predictably, the first thing that caught his eye was the large screen showing Domin’s advertisement.
‘Looks like they filmed a new commercial.’
He used to watch new advertisements repeatedly until he became familiar with them, but now that wouldn’t happen anymore. Turning his gaze elsewhere, Jeongyun quickened his pace.
The Guiding room he hadn’t visited in a while was still a complete mess. Jeongyun put down his bag, set aside his desire to clean for now, and hung the Center access badge from his desk around his neck.
‘How many days has it been?’
It had been almost a week since he hadn’t been able to go to the Center due to his illness. Although he had explained the situation to the Center when he took sick leave, there was nothing he could do about Hwayeon’s concern.
‘He must have waited a lot.’
Though it wasn’t nine o’clock yet, Jeongyun headed to the Center. Passing through corridors that had become unfamiliar after not visiting for several days, he began to see the Center in the distance.
“…I knew it.”
Snow was still falling from the sky. Despite the cold weather that made white breath visible with each exhale, Hwayeon was waiting for Jeongyun at the Center’s main entrance as always.
Although his clothes were thicker than before, they were still far too thin to be considered winter outerwear. With his arms folded and stamping his feet because of the cold, Hwayeon’s nose bridge was flushed red from the cold.
‘How long has he been standing out here?’
Feeling upset, Jeongyun quickened his pace even more. Before he knew it, he was running. Hwayeon, who had been keeping his head down to avoid the wind, turned to the side when he heard approaching footsteps.
“…Hyung!”
Hwayeon, with his eyes wide open, greeted Jeongyun. Having arrived at the main entrance, Jeongyun let out a heavy breath despite only running this short distance.
Hwayeon unfolded his arms and grabbed Jeongyun’s hand as he approached. Although unauthorized contact was forbidden, seeing Hwayeon so happy, Jeongyun couldn’t bring himself to say those words.
Jeongyun held Hwayeon’s hands, which were as red from the cold as his nose bridge.
“Why are you outside? It’s cold.”
“The teacher said you would come today, hyung.”
“So, how long have you been standing here?”
“…Not that long.”
It was clearly a lie, but Jeongyun didn’t press further.
With a deep sigh, Jeongyun put Hwayeon’s hand, which he was holding tightly, into his own pocket. He hoped the warm energy would quickly thaw Hwayeon’s hand.
“Are you not sick anymore?”
Hwayeon asked in a voice full of concern. Instead of answering, Jeongyun nodded. Still seemingly unable to let go of his worry, Hwayeon took a step closer. Then he gently bumped his forehead against Jeongyun’s.
“Ah, it’s warm.”
A brightly smiling face was right in front of him.
Dark eyes beyond long eyelashes stared directly at Jeongyun. Feeling strangely tense at the close distance, Jeongyun turned his head elsewhere.
“Let’s go inside.”
“Okay.”
Jeongyun headed to the Center holding Hwayeon’s hand. As they walked side by side, Jeongyun glanced down and belatedly realized that Hwayeon was wearing slippers on his bare feet, not even sneakers.
‘How long have you been waiting outside dressed like this?’
His brow furrowed with concern, but seeing Hwayeon smiling without knowing what was on his mind, Jeongyun couldn’t show his feelings. Their hands remained deeply intertwined inside the pocket.
* * *
“Um, starting tomorrow, I can visit your Guiding room, hyung.”
During Guiding after training had ended, Hwayeon said in an excited voice.
Being able to leave the Center meant that Hwayeon’s training was nearly complete, and it also meant he would soon be joining a team.
“From tomorrow, I’ll come to visit you, hyung.”
“Really? That’s fine with me.”
While Hwayeon was simply happy, Jeongyun was concerned first.
Unlike training, the field was real combat. Hwayeon was still too young to go to a place where getting injured or killed while fighting unregistered Espers was an everyday occurrence.
“Have you found a place to live?”
“They said it would be available soon, but I’m not sure.”
Along with the vague answer, Hwayeon glanced at Jeongyun. It seemed like he was hiding something, but Jeongyun, whose mind was full of worries about Hwayeon, didn’t catch that look.
Maybe because it had been a while since they’d done Guiding, there still seemed to be something lacking even though they had been holding hands for quite some time. In such cases, it was common to move on to deeper contact, but no matter how necessary the Guiding was, Jeongyun felt uncomfortable with the idea of kissing Hwayeon.
‘He’s still young.’
In Jeongyun’s eyes, Hwayeon was infinitely childlike. Of course, his height and build were much larger than Jeongyun’s, but because he had lost his memories, his behavior had become like that of a child, which made him seem all the more so.
No matter how necessary Guiding was, one couldn’t kiss a seven-year-old child, so even if it took longer, he had to complete the Guiding with this level of contact. Fortunately, it wasn’t difficult thanks to their high matching rate.
‘With Choi Domin, this would have been impossible.’
As thoughts of Domin naturally arose, Jeongyun quickly shook his head. But that didn’t make the thoughts fly away, so he quickly became dejected.
“Are you okay?”
“…Ah, yes. I’m fine.”
Even though he tried to smile, the corners of his forced smile looked unnatural. Without looking in a mirror, just seeing Hwayeon’s expression made Jeongyun feel like he knew how much of a mess his face was.
“Sometimes, hyung Jeongyun seems like you’re not in front of me even when you are.”
“Huh?”
It was a statement whose meaning he couldn’t understand. Being in front yet not being there. Hwayeon, who met Jeongyun’s eyes full of question marks, let go of the hand he had been holding.
Just as Jeongyun was about to say that the Guiding wasn’t completely finished, Hwayeon bent down and lightly kissed Jeongyun’s forehead. Surprised by the unfamiliar sensation, Jeongyun’s eyes widened and trembled.
“When you’re with me, can’t you focus on me?”
Only then did Jeongyun realize that Hwayeon had noticed. That every time he gave him Guiding, he was thinking about Domin.
Hwayeon’s face, full of hurt, was contorted as if he was about to cry. With a short sigh, Hwayeon took Jeongyun’s hand again. The body heat that intertwined between their fingers was as hot as fire.
“In your eyes, hyung Jeongyun, I might just look like a child, but I’ll be an adult in two months. I’m not a child.”
As he finished speaking, Hwayeon’s eyes disappeared behind his long eyelashes. Tilting his head, Hwayeon gradually approached.
As if he was going to kiss him, he was close enough for their breaths to touch.
“Th-the Guiding is finished.”
Jeongyun stood up abruptly and spoke in an awkward voice. Hwayeon, who had frozen in place, opened his eyes that had been closed. Jeongyun turned his head to the side to hide his flushing face.
“I… I’m going to get some water.”
Jeongyun made a natural excuse and left the Guiding room next to the training room. Even after leaving the space where he had been alone with Hwayeon, his heart was pounding. It was probably because he was very surprised.
Arriving at the water cooler, Jeongyun glanced behind him. Hwayeon was still in the Guiding room. He was sitting crookedly, staring at the empty space where Jeongyun had been until just now.
‘Let’s calm down.’
Placing his hand on his chest, Jeongyun organized what he needed to say to Hwayeon.
He would tell him again that unauthorized contact wasn’t allowed, that Guiding was the Guide’s authority, and… what else should he say?
“I’m dizzy.”
It felt like the younger brother who had always seemed so childlike had suddenly grown up.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
