***
Ahjussi was acting strange.
When Eunho woke up in the morning, he opened his eyes in Yi-beom’s arms. It was already well past the time Yi-beom would normally have left for work. Feeling a hand absentmindedly stroking his waist, Eunho turned his head and saw Yi-beom lying beside him.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Ahjussi… why are you here?”
“Why are you here?”
Yi-beom parroted Eunho’s words exactly and buried his face in Eunho’s shoulder. His warmth pressed close.
“It’s our house. Of course I’m here.”
Trapped in Yi-beom’s embrace, Eunho blinked. That’s not what I meant… Maybe because he hadn’t slept well last night, his thoughts wouldn’t come together quickly. Wasn’t today Monday? After thinking for a long moment, Eunho finally asked,
“What about work?”
“Why, you want me to go?”
That wasn’t it. When Eunho shook his head faintly, Yi-beom tightened the arm around his waist.
“I’m taking off until next week. For now.”
Eunho had just leaned in and closed his eyes again when he suddenly stopped breathing. Until next week meant it included the day he’d promised to meet Chanwoo.
There was still time, but he needed to think of a way to leave the house before then. Whether Yi-beom staying home was a blessing or a disaster, he couldn’t tell yet.
Still… if Ahjussi’s here, it’ll be harder to leave him behind.
As he sank deep into thought, Yi-beom lightly shook his shoulder.
“What are you thinking so hard about?”
About leaving you, Ahjussi. He couldn’t possibly say that, so Eunho bit his lip instead. Immediately, Yi-beom’s hand came up to his mouth.
“You’re biting your lip again.”
“Ngh…”
“I told you not to chew on it like that. This—You really don’t listen worth a damn.” Clicking his tongue, Yi-beom pressed firmly into Eunho’s cheek. Heavy with sleep, Eunho looked up at him.
“Ahjussi.”
His plump cheek puffed out where it was being squished. His pronunciation slurred slightly because of it, but Eunho continued anyway.
“Really… you don’t need a child?”
So that’s what this is about. Stroking the cheek he’d been pressing, Yi-beom replied,
“Was the movie that interesting yesterday?”
“It’s just… If I were a woman, I could’ve had your child, Ahjussi.”
“…Is that so important?”
“Yes.”
Since last night, Yi-beom’s words hadn’t left his mind. I’ve never wanted a kid. That firm statement kept pricking at Eunho’s heart. He was even worried the baby in his stomach might feel sad.
If Yi-beom would just say now that he wanted a child, Eunho thought he might reconsider escaping. The best option would be to confess honestly and prepare for the baby together.
After a brief pause, Yi-beom spoke.
“Even if you were a woman, we wouldn’t have had a child.”
“What?”
“I would’ve made sure of contraception.”
“…Why?”
At the question thrown back at him, Yi-beom lifted a brow slightly. There were plenty of reasons, but there was no need to ramble on about a child that didn’t even exist.
“I just never thought about it.”
Hearing the answer, Eunho burrowed deeper into Yi-beom’s arms. His expression grew dimmer and dimmer.
Ahjussi really doesn’t want a child.
The moment he found out about the pregnancy, Yi-beom would probably try to get rid of it. He didn’t want a child, and Eunho’s life was at risk too. The more he turned those words over in his head, the colder his thoughts became.
No matter what, I have to leave this house.
His heart tilted decisively toward escape.
***
Yi-beom didn’t leave Eunho’s side for even a second. As if Eunho were holding a bomb that might explode the moment he stepped away, Yi-beom followed him everywhere.
Because of that, Eunho had no time to properly plan his escape.
W-what do I do…
As long as Yi-beom was in front of him, he couldn’t think of a single plan. In the end, Eunho changed directions. Instead of figuring out how to leave, he began thinking about what he would take with him when he did.
He wouldn’t be able to come back for a while. At least not until the baby was born.
Then I’ll miss Ahjussi.
Ever since they started dating, they had never been apart for long. The only time was when Yi-beom went on a two-night, three-day business trip— and even that had originally been scheduled for three nights, four days until Yi-beom persuaded Jinwon to shorten it.
Should I at least look at him a lot while I still can?
Sitting side by side on the sofa, Eunho adjusted his posture. He pulled both legs up onto the couch and leaned completely toward Yi-beom.
“Hmm?”
Seeing Eunho suddenly stare at him with wide, round eyes, Yi-beom asked,
“Why are you suddenly acting cute?”
“Because I want to look at you.”
“I’m right here.”
“It’s like wanting to go home even when you’re already at home.”
Yi-beom quietly looked down at the nonsense Eunho was spouting. His flushed cheeks, drooping rabbit ears, small delicate eyes— there wasn’t a single part of him that wasn’t lovable.
Even now, Yi-beom found it hard to believe this cute, tiny lover was trying to leave his side.
“You can keep seeing me from now on.”
The smile slowly faded from Eunho’s face. He looked at Yi-beom with wavering eyes before lowering his head. Just like when they first met, Eunho still couldn’t hide his expressions.
The way he reacted only proved the writing in the bathroom mirror had been real. Yi-beom clenched his teeth, his jaw tightening. With difficulty, he forced out a voice that sounded no different from usual.
“Why aren’t you answering?”
“No… you’re just asking something so obvious.”
Still staring at the sofa cushion, Eunho mumbled. Because of that, he didn’t see Yi-beom’s expression.
The anxiety flickering across his face even while Eunho sat right in front of him.
The silence was broken by Yi-beom’s phone ringing. Taking it from his pocket, Yi-beom stood up from the sofa.
“Yeah, go ahead.”
Since he hadn’t gone to work, calls were coming in from everywhere. Especially now, with tensions rising between the herbivore and carnivore factions, there were even more reports than usual. As Yi-beom stepped out onto the terrace, Eunho finally lifted his head.
His heart felt heavy, like he’d committed a crime. It was as if he were standing on cracked ice. Eunho followed Yi-beom’s back with his eyes.
He’ll be really angry, won’t he?
When he finds out I deceived him… More than Eunho leaving the house, Yi-beom would probably be furious that he’d been lied to. Remembering the cold expression Yi-beom sometimes wore at work, Eunho shook his head.
No. Right now, I don’t have time for anything except the baby.
Steeling himself, Eunho forced his thoughts elsewhere.
I can’t pack a bag obviously. I’ll only be able to take things that fit in my pockets.
Standing up, Eunho looked around the house. His traces were everywhere. On one side of the living room were books he often read, and in the kitchen was a tablecloth he’d sewn himself from cut fabric.
Before Eunho moved in, the house had felt empty— almost barren. Now it finally carried warmth. Thinking about leaving it made his mood sink again.
I can’t take that…
The tablecloth, the books— they’d be too noticeable. After thinking for a while, Eunho walked into the study.
A bookshelf filled one wall completely, and beneath it sat a black wooden desk— the same spot where Yi-beom had once carved a rabbit apple for him. Perching on the edge of the desk, Eunho suddenly exclaimed,
“Photos!”
Photos were small enough to slip into a pocket. He needed to show the baby who their father was. Color returned to Eunho’s face.
Pulling out an album from the shelf, Eunho lay flat on the floor. It was filled with pictures collected since he and Yi-beom started dating.
Opening the first page revealed younger versions of them both. Seeing Yi-beom’s sharper expression back then, Eunho burst into laughter.
“Ahjussi looks really young…”
“Really young?”
Lifting his head, Eunho saw Yi-beom standing at the doorway. His face now was a little softer than in the photo.
“Are you teasing me now, baby?”
Yi-beom asked as he walked over.
“That’s harsh. You used to call me a handsome middle-aged man.”
“…I said handsome bachelor.”
Eunho protested timidly, and Yi-beom widened his eyes in mock offense before wrapping an arm around his waist.
“You’ll hurt your back lying like that. Sit up and look.”
Leaning against the bookshelf, Yi-beom pulled Eunho back against his chest. They were seated facing the same direction. Caught off guard into looking at the album together, Eunho adjusted his arms so Yi-beom could see better.
“I can see fine without you lifting it. I’m not small like someone.”
“I-I’m not small…”
As if to prove a point, Yi-beom rested his chin deliberately on top of Eunho’s head.
“Right. Not small.”
Even though his face wasn’t visible, just looking at the round back of his head made it obvious Eunho was sulking. Even his stray hairs seemed to pout.
I’m the one who should be sulking. Muttering inwardly, Yi-beom took the album from Eunho’s hands.
Flipping the page revealed a photo of Yi-beom standing in front of the sea— their first trip together. Eunho’s eyes sparkled.
“Ahjussi, do you remember this place?”
“…Where we played with fire.”
Eunho’s ears turned red. All the different kinds of “playing with fire” they’d done that day flashed through his mind.
“Not that. It was our first trip.”
“The playing with fire was more important to me.”
Yi-beom curled his lips into a teasing smile. Too embarrassed to respond, Eunho simply lowered his head and kept staring at the album.
