Dojin’s face looked gaunt. It was the most unkempt he had appeared since Doha first met him. His martial attire, always so perfectly arranged, had long been wrinkled, and his hair, usually neatly tied, was now disheveled beneath his headband.
What concerned Doha most were his eyes. Unlike his previously sharp gaze, they now looked clouded, like someone who hadn’t slept in days.
‘I need to be careful, especially at times like this.’
He had been caught kissing Eunsung, and he couldn’t blame Eunsung for the kiss. If he did, Eunsung’s head would fly off immediately.
But he couldn’t say he kissed him because he wanted to either… As Doha was racking his brain, he looked up.
“This man…!”
At Doha’s voice, both men turned their attention to him. Under the weight of their stares, he found himself stammering.
“He-he’s my third husband!”
The lie he had used while posing as an assassin was employed once again. At this absurd claim, Eunsung’s expression crumpled. Eunsung leaned in, seeking further explanation.
“No, darling, no matter how you look at it, being your third is…”
What nonsense is he going to spout now? Doha hurriedly covered Eunsung’s lips with both hands. With a desperate look, he shook his head at him. Unable to resist such an adorable headshake, Eunsung had no choice but to stop talking.
It was then that Dojin approached the two men standing close together. His sword thrust between them.
“Step apart.”
“Ungeom!”
“Now.”
The blade gleamed coldly in the moonlight. A piece of fabric, sliced by the blade, fell to the ground. Only then did Eunsung realize it wasn’t a fake sword, and his face turned pale. Raising both hands in surrender, he slowly backed away.
With each step, the sound of trampled grass could be heard. Despite Eunsung moving farther away from Doha, Dojin showed no sign of lowering his sword.
“I’ll leave you two alone to talk.”
Left with no choice, Eunsung cast a pleading look toward Doha, who finally spoke.
“Ungeom.”
Dojin’s gaze turned to Doha. The eyes that met his were still lifeless. What on earth happened while I was away? Doha had heard that Dojin had been desperately searching for him, but he never dreamed his face would be so ravaged.
Guilt, which had been lingering in a corner of his heart, suddenly surfaced. Haah. Doha sighed deeply before continuing.
“Please put your sword away.”
“My lord, but—”
“I’d like to speak with you alone.”
At the word “us,” Dojin’s objections came to an abrupt halt. Recognizing that this word was the key to stopping Dojin, Doha quickly continued.
“We have things to discuss, don’t we? Hmm?”
His guess seemed correct as Dojin’s movement ceased. With a stiff posture, he eventually lowered his sword. That he didn’t sheathe it was a warning that he could strike at any moment. Understanding the signal, Eunsung waved his hand.
“I’ll take my leave now.”
Doha nodded at his brief farewell. Eunsung, who had been watching the now-subdued Doha, fixed his gaze on Doha’s lips. The urge to kiss him again arose, but he felt he might not survive if he did.
“Next time, you’ll have to pay twice the price.”
He whispered regretfully, licking his lips. Without hesitation, he turned around and walked back toward Siyeong Palace. His short ponytail swung at the back of his neck.
‘Wasn’t it tied with a knot?’
Doha had confirmed it was secured with a knot earlier. He looked around for the knot. Somehow left behind, Eunsung’s knot was neatly folded by the window. A few characters were visible through the thin silk.
It was undoubtedly the information Eunsung had promised to provide.
Quickly hiding the knot in his robes, Doha turned his attention back to Dojin. With his sword lowered, Dojin stood rooted to the spot.
“Come closer, don’t just stand there.”
At Doha’s call, Dojin’s legs, which had seemed planted in the ground, began to move. Slowly approaching the window, he suddenly knelt down in one swift motion.
Startled by the abruptness of his movement, which was loud enough to make a sound, Doha called out his name.
“Ungeom!”
“…I, this lowly one, failed to protect you, my lord.”
His voice, always so firm, trembled faintly. Thrusting his sword into the ground, he bowed his head again.
“Because of my mistake, I almost lost you, my lord.”
“That wasn’t your fault!”
“If I had been by your side from the beginning, none of this would have happened.”
Had he been blaming himself all this time? Had he thought all of this was his fault? Doha looked down at Dojin’s face, contorted with pain.
Just as Doha, moved by this pitiful sight, reached out his hand to tell him to rise—
“Also, this lowly one… I can no longer hide my feelings.”
Like a declaration of war, Dojin ground out the words. As he raised his head, his eyes met Doha’s. The previously clouded gaze was now clearer than ever. Faced with those eyes full of determination, Doha shuddered involuntarily.
Dojin meticulously memorized Doha’s surprised expression. Each time the wind blew, Doha’s fine hair fluttered. His hair flowing over his shoulders, his delicate face, his black eyes, his lips—Dojin’s gaze traced them all.
Time, which had seemed frozen, began to flow again. The tightness in his chest eased, and blood circulated once more. Only after seeing Doha’s living face could Dojin breathe again.
And then he realized. He could never go back to how he was before he met his lord.
“His Majesty is the finest man I’ve ever seen.”
“…”
“He lacks nothing in authority, power, or wealth.”
“…”
“So, please allow me to remain by your side.”
His desperate voice rode the wind and seeped into the room. At those heart-stirring words, Doha gripped the window handle tightly. Looking up at Doha’s face, now flushed with embarrassment, Dojin continued.
“Please allow me to cherish you in my heart.”
He wanted nothing more. When he thought he had lost his lord, he no longer wished for anything but to express his feelings. Having asked for permission, he bowed his head. He seemed determined not to rise until Doha granted his request.
‘Haah.’
At his unyielding posture, Doha sighed softly. What could he do? Doha’s gaze fell on Dojin’s knees, covered in dirt. He couldn’t take his eyes off those garments, soiled with dust and earth, which seemed to reflect Dojin’s inner turmoil.
He was a man as unbending as bamboo. From their first meeting, Doha had quickly grasped Dojin’s nature. A man who followed royal commands without question and carried out his duties with precision. A man who never looked back or around him.
And this man was now saying he would follow his heart.
If he had already made up his mind, he probably wouldn’t listen to Doha’s words either. After all, bamboo only grows in one direction. After a moment, Doha called out to him.
“Rise, Ungeom.”
“But—”
“It’s not an order, it’s a request. Are you a man who can’t grant one request from someone you cherish?”
At Doha’s words, Dojin sprang to his feet. Cherish, cherish. Dojin’s lips parted as he pronounced the word “cherish.” Had it always been such a beautiful word? Hiding his emotions, he bowed his head once more.
“Just because I’m not kneeling doesn’t mean my feelings have changed.”
“I wish they would.”
“They will not change.”
“…”
Looking at this unbending man, Doha covered his forehead. What kind of day was this? It felt like a competition to see who could make his heart race more. It wouldn’t be surprising if he developed high blood pressure at this rate.
With a troubled face, he rubbed his hands over his face and said,
“Ungeom. I already belong to His Majesty.”
“…Yes, I know.”
“Knowing this, you still ask me to allow your feelings of cherishment?”
At Doha’s words, Dojin hesitated momentarily before approaching the window. Then, with trembling hands, he placed them on the windowsill. His hand, crossing the boundary, entered the room.
“Yes.”
Dojin’s scent, always carefully concealed, seeped into the room. It crossed over lightly, just like his hand had crossed the boundary. As Dojin’s scent touched his nose, Doha bit his lip.
This is dangerous. His heart was pounding. As if sensing Doha’s emotions, Dojin tilted his head awkwardly.
“Please allow it. That’s all I can say.”
Hurriedly, Doha covered his face with his sleeve. He had raised it to hide his scent, but concealing his flushed face seemed more urgent.
He couldn’t grant this request. He couldn’t let Dojin’s gaze constantly linger around him. And yet… Doha’s eyes moved to the fingertips that had crossed into the room.
“I won’t ask for more.”
His hand brushed against Doha’s garment. It was such a slight movement that Doha wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t seen it.
“Just give me this small piece of your heart.”
“…”
“It’s enough if you think of me every time we brush against each other.”
The lord’s garment beneath his fingertips felt soft. After gently gripping the white undergarment out of his own desire, he lifted the corner of his mouth.
With that, Dojin withdrew his hand. As swiftly as it had entered the room, like a dream, his hand disappeared. Without waiting for an answer, he silently bowed his head.
After completing his salutation, he turned to leave the garden. He would probably go around the garden and resume his post guarding the door. Doha followed his retreating figure with his eyes.
* * *
Only after Dojin had completely disappeared did Doha adjust his clothes. The undergarment felt warm, as if heat had transferred from Dojin’s fingertips. Why are there so many people coveting my undergarments today of all days? As his legs gave way, Doha collapsed against the window.
Only then did he remember the knot he had placed in his pocket. It was the knot Eunsung had tossed him without his knowledge. Doha placed the knot from his waistband onto the floor.
Unrolling the tightly wound knot, he saw writing done with a brush. A cipher that only Eunsung and Doha could understand. The content was written in Hangul.
Your parents and Jeonghyeon are imprisoned, and His Majesty and the Noble Consort have set a date for their consummation. If you think I’m lying, don’t eat your evening meal today.
Doha’s hand, holding the knot, trembled slightly.
“That’s impossible.”
Doha read the writing several times. No matter how many times he read it, the fact that Hyunseo had betrayed him remained unchanged. The one who told him to stay by his side, who said he would die following him—had he really set a date for consummation with the Noble Consort?
Doha hurriedly rolled up the knot. He needed to hide it somewhere no one would find. Nervously scanning the room, he finally stuffed the knot under the wardrobe.
“My lord, shall I bring your evening meal?”
Just then, Court Lady Kim, sensing someone’s presence, asked. Doha, who had been lying face down in front of the wardrobe pushing the knot inside, managed to answer.
“No, not now! I’ll eat a little later!”
Having pushed the knot all the way to the end of the wardrobe, Doha rose to his feet. He hurriedly fixed his disheveled hair and creased clothes. But no matter how much he tried to smooth it, his unruly hair wouldn’t settle back down. Just like his suspicions about Hyunseo.
Nothing’s wrong. Even if something is wrong, I have to pretend nothing is. As Doha was composing his expression, Court Lady Kim’s voice echoed into the room.
“His Majesty is coming!”
Yes, nothing’s wrong. Doha’s Adam’s apple bobbed noticeably.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
