* * *
The sun was already setting. Having repeatedly fainted, woken up, and fallen asleep again, today felt unusually short. Looking at the sky stained red, Doha leaned his body against Hyunseo’s back.
“By tomorrow, the guard unit will find us, won’t they?”
“…Yes.”
Their shadows stretched long on the ground. Looking at their overlapping shadows, Doha wished their hearts would remain as one like this in the future.
Without misunderstandings or fights, he wished it could remain peaceful like today.
He wished they could spend time leisurely like this without thinking about the final episode or the scenario.
‘That wouldn’t be possible in the palace.’
The shadows of the trees looked just like the shadows of pillars supporting the palace. Feeling suffocated just by looking at them, Doha muttered.
“Do we really have to return to the palace?”
At his gloomy voice, Hyunseo’s steps slowed. As he adjusted Doha on his back, he replied.
“Why, don’t you want to go to the palace?”
“Just thinking about it gives me a headache. The Noble Consort, the Chief State Councilor, the ministers, and…”
Dojin. Returning to the palace meant facing him. Just when he and Hyunseo had finally reached an understanding, meeting Dojin would likely make his heart waver.
When Doha’s voice trailed off, Hyunseo stopped walking.
“We must return.”
“…”
“Isn’t that our home now?”
After finishing his response, Hyunseo began walking along the river again. The sound of flowing river water filled the silence between them.
There was always something Doha wondered whenever he looked at the scenario. Amidst the complex harem intrigues and power struggles, why didn’t Hyunseo and Doha escape from the palace? Why couldn’t the two of them return to how things were before?
It was a problem that would end if they put everything down and chose love. That problem soon led to the ending of the final episode.
‘And Hyunseo was the culprit behind it.’
Doha’s hands, wrapped around his shoulders, tensed. Just as he was about to open his mouth to persuade him—
“Your Majesty!”
From a distance, someone called for Hyunseo in a loud voice. It was Lord Kim’s voice.
“Father?”
Doha, who was being carried on Hyunseo’s back, peeked out with his head. Lord Kim, drenched in sweat, was standing not far away. As their eyes met, Lord Kim grabbed his clothes.
“Doha! Oh my!”
Lord Kim ran toward them at full speed. Several members of the guard unit followed behind him. In an instant, Lord Kim approached and pulled Doha off of Hyunseo’s body.
“Are you alright? Are there any injuries on your body?”
“I’m fine, but it’s not me but His Majesty who—”
Before he could finish speaking, his legs gave out. With a gasp, Doha’s body tilted. Hyunseo’s thick arm wrapped around Doha’s falling body. After letting Doha lean on his shoulder, he continued speaking instead.
“It’s because I tormented him.”
Like a bride after her first night, Doha’s face turned bright red. Does this guy truly have no sense of shame? As Doha lowered his head, Lord Kim, who was watching him, narrowed his eyes.
“You mean to say you tormented our child, who has a weak constitution? In a state of distress?”
“Lord Kim, mind your words.”
The hand supporting Doha’s waist pulled him closer. With a small gasp, Doha suddenly found himself in Hyunseo’s arms.
“Not ‘our’ child, but ‘mine.’ I don’t recall having a child with Lord Kim.”
At the embarrassing words heard from beside him, Doha sharply turned his head. A face that hadn’t changed color in the slightest loomed beside him.
‘How can you be so shameless with such a handsome face?’
Unable to hit a face that surpassed national treasures, Doha kicked Hyunseo’s shin instead. Having kicked quite hard, there was a thud.
“Flower Bin Mama!”
The guards standing behind them were shocked and called out Doha’s name.
“It’s fine, stay there.”
Hyunseo waved his hand at the guards who were rushing over in surprise. He rubbed his painful shin while smiling.
“My Flower Bin is very angry.”
“Yes, so let’s go separately.”
With a meaningful glance, Doha distanced himself from Hyunseo. This time, Lord Kim pulled Doha into his arms.
“Oh, my child.”
Tears welled up in Lord Kim’s eyes as they faced each other. With a worried expression, he examined Doha’s body all over. It was a gesture of checking for any injuries.
“Child, are you hurt anywhere? How did you end up suffering like this all the way here?”
Lord Kim, who had sat on the ground, even rolled up Doha’s pant legs to check his body. Each time he saw scratches from branches or stones through the clothes, Lord Kim’s face contorted as if he himself were in pain.
Doha’s expression was peculiar as he looked down at such a Lord Kim.
‘So this is what a father is truly like.’
It was the first time in his life he felt a father’s concern. Before his possession, his father had no interest in Doha whatsoever. Whether he fell somewhere or was beaten by someone, his father’s interest was never on Doha. For such a Doha, Lord Kim’s reaction was unfamiliar.
As he was looking at the unfamiliar face of Lord Kim, who was sniffling—
— Do you really think your father cares about you?
A voice resonated from somewhere. It was the voice he had heard when he first opened his eyes at Siyeong Palace. Doha raised his head and looked around.
“Child, what are you looking for?”
— How truly romantic. Is it because you’ve only ever lived by watching scenarios?
The voice, tinged with laughter, was now resonating from all directions. Where is it? Where is it coming from? Although he turned his head in all directions, all he could see were the surprised faces of Hyunseo and Lord Kim. Just as he was about to respond to the voice, it loudly resonated once more.
— Have you forgotten? That the end of this scenario is a sad ending.
At that moment, Doha’s mouth opened on its own.
“Father.”
It wasn’t his will. It wasn’t his voice or his manner of speaking either. This was the speech pattern of Doha from the scenario. The situation was the same as when he had strangled himself with his own hands in the prison.
Lord Kim rose from his seat at Doha’s voice. He nodded as he grabbed Doha’s hands.
“Yes, your father is here. Stop worrying your father and let’s go back now.”
“Where to? To that house where you drove me out, Father?”
Doha, who looked at Lord Kim with resentful eyes, released the hands he was holding.
What’s this about now? There had been countless times when he couldn’t break free from acting, but there had never been a moment when he spoke of something not in the scenario like this.
Doha was bewildered, but his exterior maintained an infinitely cold expression. With a hardened face, Doha backed away from Lord Kim.
“You were disappointed because I was an Eumin, weren’t you?”
“What, what are you saying? Doha.”
“Before I left for the highlands! Do you think I didn’t know what you said in the men’s quarters?”
A voice mixed with despair echoed through the forest. Now his body began to tremble as well. Though he wanted to stop talking at the sight of Lord Kim’s shocked face, the once-opened lips showed no signs of closing. He continued to press Lord Kim.
“Because I… am an Eumin… you drove me out like that…”
It was then that Doha’s body collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut. Hyunseo quickly embraced Doha’s falling body.
“Flower Bin!”
Hyunseo’s surprised voice was heard, but Doha was already unable to respond. His consciousness was drawn as if being pulled into a dream.
When he opened his eyes again, it was a snowy night in front of Doha’s family home.
* * *
It was snowing. As he watched the snow piling up, he soon realized that it was passing through his body.
‘Is this a dream?’
Come to think of it, he couldn’t feel the cold either. Doha clenched and unclenched his hand, trying to catch the snow. However, the snow still merely brushed past Doha.
A child walked in front of Doha. With reddened cheeks, the child was rubbing his hands as if cold. With chubby cheeks and a round face, he looked adorable just by looking at him.
‘I suppose this is me when I was young.’
The excited-looking child stepped on the snow piled on the ground. With each movement of the child’s small body, there was a crunching sound from beneath his feet.
<When will my brother come out?>
He seemed to be waiting for Jeonghyeon. The child muttered as he pressed down on the fur hat covering his ears.
<Aish, I told him we need to go to the market early.>
It was then that the child, who had been circling in front of the door, headed toward the men’s quarters. Leaving tiny footprints, he peeked through the open door. Through the gap, Lord Kim and Yunjung were visible.
Following the child to the men’s quarters, Doha also leaned in. Warmth spread from inside the room.
<How about… sending Doha to the highlands.>
<Lord Kim! How could you speak of sending such a young child to the highlands? How can you say such hurtful things?>
<That’s precisely because he is a young child. It seems right to send him now, while he doesn’t know if he’s an Eumin or a Yangin. Since Doha is an Eumin, it’s appropriate for him not to be in this house.>
Eumin. At that word, the child’s body froze stiffly. His expectant face crumbled in an instant. Watching this process, Doha reached out to the child.
How pitiful.
Perhaps because it was a dream, his hand didn’t reach. Doha’s hand merely went into the child’s body. I want to comfort him. With a similar face, Doha’s expression clouded.
<But how can you send a young child to the highlands where he has no connections? A child should be kept by his parents.>
<…The highlands, with better air and water, would be better for Doha than this place. I will tell Jeonghyeon that we are sending him for recuperation, so understand it as such.>
The child, who had received no comfort from anyone, collapsed to the ground. Nevertheless, the voices inside the house didn’t stop.
<If only he were a Yangin instead of an Eumin… there wouldn’t be such worries.>
That statement was the same as what Doha had heard countless times. If only you weren’t an Omega but an Alpha, this wouldn’t have happened.
If only you were an Alpha, everything would have been resolved.
It was a statement that attributed all problems to one’s nature. Strangely, with that one statement, the reason for unjust treatment became Doha’s.
What about that nature that had been determined from birth?
Doha, who had squatted down to meet the child’s gaze, whispered.
<It’s not your fault.>
Though it wouldn’t be heard, Doha whispered words endlessly. Just as he had told Hyunseo that he wasn’t a beast, this time, he wanted to tell his younger self.
He endlessly extended his hand that couldn’t reach. The child was crying without making a sound.
<You’re neither a beast nor have you committed any sin.>
This was what he realized while being intimate with Hyunseo. It was a fact he learned thanks to Hyunseo’s cherishing touch and his continuous whispers of affection.
That we can overcome the desires of our nature, that it isn’t all that we are.
<It will be better than you think.>
It was when the child looked this way with reddened eyes. Can he see me? It seemed like their eyes had met. Just as Doha was about to speak, his surroundings changed once again.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
