Chapter 61
In the awkward atmosphere, Joo Hyeonwoo hesitantly offered his security glasses. Eunseong pushed them away with his hand, clearly reading his intention to avoid the situation.
“I’m still fine. More than that, what’s with this atmosphere? Why can’t I?”
He felt like he was being ostracized for not having memories. The fact that he couldn’t get close to Mujin’s problems made Eunseong sharp.
Then he noticed a tablet carelessly placed on the floor. The tablet device that Yeon Seokchun had given him to use couldn’t even access the web inside the guild building. The memory of finding that strange flashed through his mind. When Eunseong quickly reached out to pick up the tablet, Ha Yera also grabbed onto it, trying to stop him.
“It’s, it’s mine.”
“What is it? What exactly are you trying to keep me from seeing?”
A ridiculous tug-of-war ensued.
Ha Yera, who had been holding onto the tablet with both hands, looked at Eunseong’s stern expression, let out a deep sigh, and let go. Joo Hyeonwoo poked the girl who had given up and made a reproachful expression.
“How long are you going to block him? Oppa’s not an idiot, and his memories are gradually coming back. And he has to go to the Control Agency anyway. Didn’t you watch the news?”
It was certainly the right thing to say, but Mujin’s gaze was still sharp. Eunseong became somewhat bewildered. To participate in the neutral zone’s large rift subjugation together, he had to register as a hunter with the Rift Safety Control Agency. He had definitely promised that, but looking at Mujin’s current expression and behavior, he seemed like someone who never intended to do so in the first place.
He had heard from Yeon Seokchun. There were many people criticizing him for not having sufficient abilities.
Eunseong understood that feeling to some extent. Most people want to hold someone responsible when faced with problems involving immediate survival.
He couldn’t know in detail how severe it was because his memory was like a crushed cake. Sometimes it felt like someone else’s business entirely. He might be thinking lightly about it without knowing the seriousness of the situation. But it wasn’t something he could turn away from forever.
“…How bad could it be? Am I like the nation’s public enemy or something?”
When no one answered, Eunseong was a bit flustered.
“What, is it really that bad?”
When he asked Mujin for confirmation, he approached and bent down to try to snatch the tablet away. Eunseong desperately avoided his reach and raised his voice.
“I’m going to look. Whatever it is, I’ll search and see everything… Don’t think about stopping me. Why do you keep trying to hide everything from me? It makes me feel like I’ve really become an idiot.”
Eunseong held the tablet screen in front of Ha Yera’s face to unlock it. He put strength in his eyebrows and stood up abruptly so that no one could stop him.
“After everything was changed… I wanted you to see it then.”
Mujin’s voice reached Eunseong’s back as he tried to enter the room.
“You’re free to look. You’re right, Eunseong. There’s no excuse for not being able to protect you, and I know that just hiding things is no big deal, that it’s deception toward you…”
Regret dripped from his voice. Eunseong turned around and was struck speechless by Mujin’s expression. He had intended to say coldly that it wasn’t his responsibility, but the words retreated into his throat.
“……”
“I won’t do that anymore. Really.”
The deeply wounded face seemed somewhat familiar, and it was an expression he himself often wore. There must have been times when gentle exceptions pierced his heart, telling him it wasn’t his responsibility so he should step back.
Eunseong reached out and lightly touched Mujin’s wrist.
“I know you’ll do that for me. But I need to know the whole situation too.”
When he tilted his head and whispered as if coaxing, Mujin reluctantly nodded.
As he headed into the room with the tablet in his arms, sighs poured from Mujin behind him. Eunseong bit his lips tightly and firmly closed the door.
If he could gather up the lost memory fragments, it was time to do whatever it took. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t afraid. As much as Mujin worried, he shrank back too. Still, he decided not to run away. It was time to face head-on whatever was lurking ahead.
* * *
He felt a tickling sensation on his cheek.
Warm, damp droplets fell one after another. The suppressed breathing sound in his ear was sobbing. Following the strong smell of alcohol, he felt a stinging sensation on his palm. Eunseong naturally thought of his father’s chin and opened his eyes.
He was on his bed in his dark, cozy-smelling room.
A wooden airplane hanging from a string was spinning around near the ceiling. On the bed closer to the window, his older brother Jaeseong was lying down sleeping. The regular sound from the bubbling humidifier made his father’s crying feel even damper.
Eunseong wanted to stroke his father’s wet face, but his hands wouldn’t move as if he was in deep sleep in the dream. Then was this memory part of the unconscious stored while half-asleep?
His father, kneeling on the floor at the head of the bed and sobbing, looked like someone praying. A single long beam of light seeping through the slightly open door crack allowed him to see his haggard and exhausted face.
‘…Dad, why are you crying?’
As his memory gradually returned, his father’s image was becoming clearer within Eunseong. He was such a caring father to Eunseong that just seeing his strong face crumble was enough to break his heart.
It seemed like when he was around 7 or 8 years old. Eunseong guessed his age by seeing the bed area full of dolls.
‘Jaeseong will wake up. Stop and go out, let’s talk outside.’
A voice that seemed both familiar and strange interjected between his thoughts. It was a bit different from when he had last heard it, but it was definitely Baek Sangyeon’s voice. Only then did Eunseong notice that he had been standing in the darkness watching his father.
At his words, his father let out a small bitter laugh. Because of that, another round of teardrops fell with a patter.
‘Sangyeon, you really don’t know. This is Eunseong.’
‘Oh, right.’
It was an answer clearly showing annoyance, as if appeasing a drunkard.
‘Really amazing. That they look so identical that even you, Sangyeon, can’t tell them apart. My child, this amazing and precious thing.’
‘You’re drunk. Let’s go out. At this rate, the kids will all find out.’
Despite Baek Sangyeon’s irritated answer, his father couldn’t come to his senses. He buried his forehead in sleeping Eunseong’s palm and rubbed it.
‘How am I supposed to live now?’
‘You’re the only one who has to take care of Jaeseong and Eunseong, so what kind of weak talk are you spouting? Get up quickly. Wash your face and pull yourself together. I bought porridge and medicine…’
‘I don’t want to.’
A sigh of unknown origin echoed through the space.
‘I want to quit everything now. Sangyeon, I can barely breathe now.’
‘If you say such weak things, would Hyeeun like it?’
‘…No, Hyeeun would want me to quit too. Let our kids just live their lives, she would definitely say that.’
‘We have to end the war in our generation.’
His father, Yoo Hwan, staggered to his feet. He walked in front of Baek Sangyeon and looked him straight in the eyes.
‘Speak precisely. That’s your ambition, not Mujin’s ambition, isn’t it?’
‘Right, I’m glad to know that you’re not the only one sacrificing in this game.’
‘Baek Sangyeon!’
Yoo Hwan stretched out both hands and grabbed Baek Sangyeon by the collar. Baek Sangyeon’s eyes glowed bright yellow, but he didn’t shake him off.
‘You’re also responsible for Hyeeun getting caught up in the rift! How dare you discuss sacrifice in front of me?’
After the tearful scream, a heavy silence flowed. Baek Sangyeon’s eyes, which had been quietly looking down at Yoo Hwan, had already returned to their original black color.
‘Then will you continue living like this? Just waiting for rifts to open? Living as a loser, being swayed by monsters trying to invade every time, just running away? Isn’t it sickening!’
Yoo Hwan, who had been trembling, suddenly couldn’t hold back the rising nausea and rushed out of his seat. The door burst open, and scarlet lighting poured over sleeping Eunseong’s face.
After a big commotion, an argument between Yoo Hwan and Baek Sangyeon continued from the distant bathroom area.
In that chaotic noise, Eunseong’s eyes sparkled open. He carefully got up and came down from the bed. Holding a black puppy doll that he kept by his side every night when sleeping, he quietly left the room.
Shuffle shuffle, passing through the corridor with soft carpet toward the living room, the usual scenery greeted him. On the low table, thick books piled like mountains, papers, and pens were scattered messily.
On one side of the floor, refined rift byproduct fragments were placed, emitting colorful light. Eunseong picked up one clear blue fragment and smelled it. A familiar scent. It was the smell that always came from his mother, who was absorbed in item crafting.
The only thing different about this space, which had been used as his parents’ workshop, was that his mother wasn’t there.
His mother would sit on the floor wearing a thick cardigan, endlessly writing something, but when Eunseong woke up and walked out rubbing his eyes, she would look up at him before he even called. His mother who would smile and ask, ‘Do you need to pee?’ Her disheveled face and dry embrace always carried this scent.
Eunseong buried his nose once more in the blue fragment and walked to his mother’s regular seat. On the table, large papers were scattered, torn in half.
Kneeling and sitting, Eunseong picked up the remaining pieces from the floor, smoothed out the wrinkled parts, and carefully pieced together the torn edges. The blueprint delicately drawn with white ink on dark navy paper looked very beautiful even to young Eunseong’s eyes.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
