“How far did you say he got?”
“He ran away.”
“…Ran away?”
“Yes. He was the first to realize he’d been dragged into my regression and fled. And then, in the shell that should’ve been empty—soulless—you appeared. You took over the vacant body.”
“You’re lying…”
Of course, he knew it wasn’t a lie. The countless windows clouding Nigel’s vision had proven as much. But he didn’t want to believe it.
Who could accept such a thing easily? To realize that your life—everything you thought was yours—was just borrowed. That you had simply stepped in and taken someone else’s place.
“If… if I’m a fake, then what about Father? He’s my real father. Isn’t he?”
Nigel clung to him desperately, like a drowning man grasping for air. Inas looked at him with something like pity in his eyes.
“He was never your real father to begin with.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Normally, a father wouldn’t kill his own son. Of course, my father was trash enough to do that. I mean Inas Idenbach’s father, of course.”
Inas tossed out the heavy truth like it was nothing more than a joke. Nigel didn’t feel like playing along. He looked at Inas’s face and saw him sigh.
“In the early timelines, you were often killed by Ruder. Just like Etna sensed something off about you, Ruder also felt an uncanny sense of wrongness. Sometimes he hated you. Sometimes he just ignored you. Either way, every time, you believed you were the real Nigel—so you died, devastated.”
“……”
“But now… even if the original Nigel showed up, Ruder would choose you.”
“…Why?”
“Because Ruder has lived with you. He’s experienced you. And vice versa. You’ve spent at least thousands of loops living as father and son. That’s more than enough time to come to see each other as real.”
Inas’s words offered both comfort and none at all. Because in the end, Nigel was still a fake. A fraud who had stolen someone else’s place. And yet… he was relieved to know that he wouldn’t be cast aside by his father.
Feeling happiness over something so meager made him feel all the more pathetic.
He kept seeing the way his father looked at Etna. That disdain. That cold judgment. He didn’t think he could bear it if that same look were ever directed at him. He was already teetering on the edge—any more, and he’d crumble.
Nigel stared blankly into the air for a moment, then turned to Inas.
“When did you figure out I wasn’t him?”
“From the start. From the very moment we met, your eyes looked at me differently.”
Inas answered without hesitation.
“Nigel Grau Montstein was originally just a bitter, angry child. After he drove his brother to death, he was wracked with guilt and eventually turned over a new leaf—but even then, he never really liked knights like me. And to be honest, I didn’t like the original Nigel either.”
“……”
“But you? You fell for me at first sight. I saw it in your eyes, plain as day. That one moment—when your gaze completely changed—I knew something was different.”
“…Ah.”
Nigel’s face burned.
At the same time, he remembered something. That hallucination—when Inas had scorned him, sneering and spitting the words “half-blood duke” as he walked past.
It had been different from the usual flashbacks of past events.
<system: Loading memory of Nigel Grau Montstein>
That time, a window had appeared—specifically stating it was loading a memory. Just like the vision he saw of marrying Danika.
Whenever the system loaded a memory, it was always one of his—no, the real Nigel’s. Fragments left inside this borrowed body.
“In fact, it was in the 187th loop. That’s when I fell in love with you.”
The sudden confession made Nigel frown. Inas said it like he was reminiscing over some romantic memory, but Nigel couldn’t believe it.
“Is that even possible?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? Isn’t it fate?”
Fate, my ass.
Inas had seen the original Nigel 186 times—and despised him. He’d shown so little respect that he wouldn’t even offer the bare minimum courtesy to a duke.
And now he wanted him to believe that in the 187th loop, he fell in love? Even though they looked exactly the same?
“No. I don’t get it. There’s no reason you’d fall in love.”
“Does love need a reason, Nigel?”
“Was it just because I wasn’t made of data or something?”
“Is there even a difference? Once we’re in here, you and I—we’re all just data.”
“……”
“None of that matters. I loved you simply because you were you.”
His barbed words didn’t seem to faze Inas at all. Not that Nigel had intended to hurt him. Still, he’d hoped for more of a reaction.
The love Inas claimed to feel—something that had always felt so intense—suddenly seemed superficial. He couldn’t make sense of why that kind of affection had lasted through 100,000 loops.
“Then why did you say it like that? Calling me a chunk of data—talking to me like that?”
“Is that really what matters? Besides, I didn’t mean it as an insult.”
Inas reached out and gently took Nigel’s hand. As always, Nigel couldn’t bring himself to pull away from the warmth that enveloped him. Those fervent, yearning eyes stared into him, unwavering.
“Nigel, don’t let what you learned shake you too much. This life—it’s yours now. The original Nigel abandoned it. And you’ve lived 100,000 loops as Nigel. So you are Nigel.”
“……”
“I knew this would break you. That’s why I killed Etna in the last loop too. Because I didn’t know how things would turn out—too many variables. But Nigel, you don’t need to feel guilty about Etna. The one who killed him was the original Nigel. In this loop, you actually saved him—from being used by Edelta. You understand?”
As always, Inas’s words flowed like water. He knew Nigel too well. Said exactly what Nigel wanted to hear.
Any other time, he might’ve fallen for it.
But not this time.
He couldn’t just let it slide. Especially not when Inas kept saying, “You’re not really Nigel.”
He knew he should think rationally—but every time he heard words that separated him from Nigel, it hurt.
The anger that had been simmering under his skin began to boil over. The more Inas spoke, the hotter it burned—until finally, it spilled over.
“Then why didn’t you just keep me in the dark again?!”
“I tried. But I failed.”
“…Was it you who killed Harold?”
“Yes.”
“You said you wouldn’t…!”
“I didn’t break that promise. Harold wasn’t in the mansion at the time.”
“If Harold hadn’t died, then Etna—”
He would’ve been more careful. He wouldn’t have confronted Father out of nowhere.
Nigel shut his mouth.
Saying that would’ve just been emotional venting. The truth was, if Inas had gone through with his plan and killed Etna, Nigel might’ve just kept living, blind to everything.
And really, the fact that he wasn’t the real Nigel— That wasn’t even Inas’s fault.
Blaming someone else wouldn’t solve the root problem. It all came down to him.
Nigel knew that. And yet—he needed someone to blame.
Inas looked at him, smiling softly, as if he understood every twisted emotion churning inside him.
“Nigel. Are you all right?”
“I…”
“……”
Nigel didn’t answer. He just stared at the window that had appeared before him a moment ago.
◁ Quest (new!)
A Proposal for the World
You’re an anomaly now. Die. Disappear completely from this world.
Reward: Peace for the world
A message more hostile than anything he’d ever seen.
Nigel let out a hollow laugh and covered his face with both hands.
The original Nigel hadn’t been labeled an anomaly… probably because he hadn’t been aware. Even if he was from another world, he’d slotted perfectly into this one—didn’t disrupt the system.
But now that Nigel had remembered—he was something unnatural.
An alien piece that didn’t fit.
Luckily, he had somewhere to go. He didn’t know if it was truly his world, just that the system had labeled it as such.
He didn’t even remember his own name—or his sister’s. But if he wanted to survive, there was only one option.
“I have to go back.”
Inas gripped his hand tighter. Nigel twisted free, barely managing to slip out of his grasp.
Inas stared at his empty hand. Then clenched it into a tight fist and glared.
“Why do you want to go back?”
“I already told you. This world’s done for. And if I disappear, maybe Nigel will come back. It’s only right to give it back to its original owner. Everything should return to how it was.”
“Nigel won’t come back. Not ever.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Inas didn’t answer. Whether it was still a secret—or he truly didn’t know.
Nigel laughed bitterly.
“It’s not like I’m doing this for the real Nigel or anything. He wasn’t exactly a saint—he tormented others, even killed his own brother. I don’t care about him. What matters is that the world is collapsing.”
“……”
“Let’s go back, Inas.”
Nigel extended the hand he had just pulled away.
Inas stared at it, small and pale—then shot him a fierce glare.
“You really think I’ll just let you go?”
The threat in his voice made Nigel flinch.
Of course, Nigel had planned for both of them to return.
“I’m not going alone. I want you to come too.”
“…Go where?”
“Back to where we came from.”
“Where exactly is that?”
“…I…”
Nigel couldn’t answer. He didn’t even remember what the place was called—how could he name it?
Inas sneered.
“You don’t even know where you’re going.”
The mockery made Nigel’s ears burn red. Inas sighed, looking down at Nigel’s now-limp hand.
“Earth. South Korea. That’s where you came from.”
Earth. Korea. The words sounded strange coming from Inas—but the moment he heard them, something clicked.
Buried memories stirred.
Nigel felt sick.
“You don’t… want to go back?”
“No. This is where I belong. This world. Right here beside you.”
Inas didn’t even hesitate. There wasn’t a shred of longing for the world he came from. Only a mountain-like resolve that he would stay rooted here—forever.
Had Inas forgotten everything, after 100,000 loops? Maybe it made sense. Even if they went back, they’d be strangers in a place that no longer remembered them.
Still… I can’t do this. I can’t live like this.
Nigel bit back the words rising in his throat.
He knew now—he and Inas would never agree on this. Even after learning they were in the same position, Nigel only felt farther from understanding him.
***
The next morning, Nigel went straight to Ruder.
As expected, Ruder still looked deeply troubled. Seeing his father’s tormented expression filled Nigel with guilt. That guilt might very well haunt him for the rest of his life.
“…Dad.”
“Nigel.”
The moment he saw Nigel, Ruder smiled gently.
He pulled his son into a tight embrace, tense and anxious. Only after feeling Nigel’s breath against his chest, confirming the warmth of his body, did Ruder finally let him go.
Nigel hesitated before speaking.
“Dad… Brother…”
“He’s not your brother.”
“……”
A father deceived by a fake son, who nearly killed his real one. What kind of farce was this?
Nigel frowned, unable to cry or laugh. Ruder sighed and tried to comfort him.
“Don’t make that face. I never said anything to you, but I’ve had doubts for a while.”
“…Why?”
“No logical reason. If I borrow his words… it just felt wrong.”
“Felt wrong?”
“Yes. He felt… too unfamiliar. He was supposed to be my son. Only a year or two had passed since he died, and yet he already felt like a stranger.”
“……”
Of course.
Ruder had spent enough time with this version of Nigel to get used to him—enough to accept him as his real son. At the same time, enough time had passed for even his real son to start feeling off.
Nigel bowed his head, pretending to nod, avoiding his father’s gaze.
He loved his father.
More than the hazy memory of a sister whose face and name he no longer remembered, he loved this man standing right in front of him.
To Nigel, Ruder was his real father. And yet he had forced this beloved man to point his sword at his own son.
That fact weighed on Nigel like a stone, dragging him down into a suffocating pit of guilt.
Even breathing felt difficult.
He struggled to steady his ragged breathing. But it wasn’t as if he could suddenly come clean now.
If he confessed everything, would Ruder even be able to handle it?
No.
More likely, Ruder would just assume something was wrong with his son—Nigel. He wouldn’t accept the truth.
No matter how it played out, Ruder wouldn’t believe it.
In the end, all Nigel could do was lie.
Keep pretending. Keep seeing his father’s face every day, while hiding the truth.
Nigel didn’t think he had the strength to endure that forever. After a moment of hesitation, he finally voiced his decision.
“…Dad, about the academy—I want to go.”
“The academy?”
Ruder’s expression darkened. Clearly, this wasn’t what he had expected.
Even though he was the one who’d brought it up once before, now he looked distinctly displeased.
“That was something I said when there was still another heir. Now, you’re the one who must inherit the family.”
It didn’t matter how popular the academy had become. There was no reason for the heir of House Magnus to attend. There were more than enough things to learn within the duchy itself, and it was just as important to grow up alongside vassals and their children.
To bring up the academy now, just as his training as heir should be beginning, was no different than saying he didn’t want to be the duke.
But Nigel couldn’t do it. Ruder had already gone through enough trouble, bending over backward to raise him as Duke Magnus’s successor. As the eldest son of the former duke, Ruder had inherited the position smoothly. He had lived a life worthy of the name Magnus. For a man like that, grooming a successor had been one of his greatest undertakings.
And Nigel… wasn’t even the real Nigel. He didn’t want to trouble Ruder any more than he already had.
“You know I’m not suited to take over the family.”
“Nigel.”
“I don’t want to be the heir. I almost died, and it made me think. It’s too hard… I’m always sick. I just want to live a little easier. That’s what’s best for me.”
“……”
Nigel mumbled miserably.
He’d been collapsing often lately, and it showed on Ruder’s face.
Even a man like Ruder—who believed duty came first for any child born into a noble house— couldn’t bring himself to push his youngest son, who was weak and had been through so much lately.
Seeing that hesitation, Nigel spoke again, softly.
“I guess… I’m just a bad person.”
“No, Nigel. Don’t say that. You’re not bad. You’re a good boy. A very good boy.”
“……”
He hadn’t meant it that way, but hearing his father call him a good boy still made him feel warm inside.
Despite the guilt twisting in his chest, Nigel reached out and hugged Ruder.
Ruder clicked his tongue at the sudden show of affection, but he didn’t seem to dislike it.
“Do as you wish.”
“…Thank you.”
Nigel smiled bitterly. Now that he knew the truth, he could never go back to how things were.
Not in this place.
Not in this land that was never his home.
***
And so, seven years passed.
