He couldn’t ask Inas what he had been doing when Nigel married Danika. Inas was the kind of man who barely kept his volatility under a thin, intact shell. Nigel couldn’t predict exactly how he’d react, but one thing was certain—Danika’s life would be in danger. Nigel might love Inas, but that didn’t mean he trusted him.
Besides, even if he did ask, it didn’t seem likely Inas would give him an answer.
Regardless of what Nigel thought now, Inas had always reacted to anyone approaching Nigel like a feral kitten baring its claws. At the slightest sign of romance, he’d stepped in and shut it down. By that standard, Danika should have been public enemy number one. Yet Inas wasn’t reacting at all… which made it seem like maybe—just maybe—he really didn’t know that Nigel had married her.
There was one theory that came to mind.
What if his marriage to Danika had taken place before Inas was ever possessed and brought into this world?
Even the smallest difference could alter the future. Inas’s presence alone was more than enough to change everything.
In the world where the current Inas Idenbach didn’t exist, the original Nigel had married Danika. But after meeting Inas and falling in love, that marriage route had been completely shut down.
It was a compelling theory. Though there was no way to prove it.
“What are you thinking about, Nigel?”
The insolent knight reached out and tilted Nigel’s chin upward. His eyes brimmed with suspicion and jealousy. Nigel replied coolly.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“I was thinking about you.”
“Don’t lie.”
Inas shot back impudently. Nigel’s brow furrowed in irritation.
“What makes you think I’m lying? Got any proof?”
“Well.”
Inas murmured as he traced his fingers across Nigel’s face. His hand slowly slid down from his eye, light as a feather, like he was tickling soft down. The touch made Nigel flinch involuntarily.
“Ng.”
When Inas’s fingers brushed the corner of his lips, Nigel let out a small, involuntary sound. Inas smiled slyly and withdrew his hand.
“If you really were thinking about me, you wouldn’t be making such a scary face.”
“Was I making a scary face?”
“Not to me, of course. But yes, you looked serious.”
“What about when you look at me?”
Nigel knew he was digging his own grave with that question, but the words slipped out. Inas beamed. His smile was always dazzling, but today it was especially beautiful. His obsidian eyes, which sometimes gleamed with madness, sparkled gently now. His lips curled into a soft arc over his pale, healthy cheeks. The capital was bursting with spring flowers, but to Nigel, Inas’s smile outshone them all.
Mesmerized, Nigel stared at him, and Inas mischievously pinched both his cheeks.
“Like this.”
Inas whispered playfully, then leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips with an audible smooch. It was a teasing kiss, but paired with everything else, it sent heat surging through Nigel’s cheeks.
“C-Cut it out.”
“When it comes to you, Nigel, I’m always serious.”
Inas said shamelessly, even though he still had a trace of laughter in his voice, and let go of his cheeks. He hadn’t grabbed him hard, but Nigel could still feel the ghost of his touch. He rubbed his burning cheeks to cool them down.
“So, what were you really thinking about?”
“You’re relentless… I was just thinking about my fiancée.”
Inas’s eyebrows arched in obvious displeasure at the answer. Nigel hastily added,
“Just thinking that it’d be a pain if they started lining up candidates and throwing them at me.”
“That’s nothing to worry about. This mansion’s security is still full of holes. I’m sure there are a few loose-lipped servants, and rumors about your collapse will spread soon.”
He’d collapsed during a guest visit before he could even hold a proper conversation. No matter how prestigious the Magnus Duchy was, what kind of father would want to betroth his daughter to a defective young man? One misstep and she’d be shackled to a sickly husband and ruin her life.
All the better. But what annoyed Nigel was that Inas seemed pleased by it. Sure, it worked in their favor, but Nigel’s flaws had just been broadcast. He kicked Inas lightly in the shin, and Inas sighed.
“Even knowing how violent you are, the young ladies will still run away.”
“Who’s violent? It’s your fault. And it didn’t even hurt…”
“Whether it hurts or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that it was a violent act.”
He had a point, but that made it more annoying. Nigel shot him a glare, which prompted another sigh from Inas.
“But with a face like yours, anyone you look at like that would want to marry you, regardless of circumstances. You are just too beautiful, Nigel.”
“I’m not beautiful, and I’m not getting married.”
Nigel snapped, but Inas didn’t seem to hear. Like the lunatic he was, he slipped into his own little world and instantly looked depressed.
“I wish I’d been born a woman. If I were, then after I became king, I wouldn’t have to behead nobles who opposed us and rewrite the law to make you queen. I could’ve just married you right away.”
What the hell? He actually did that?! Nigel was horrified, but Inas remained perfectly calm.
“And I could’ve entered the duchy as your fiancée, not your bodyguard.”
“Hmm… But if that were the case, maybe I wouldn’t have fallen for you in the first place.”
“Why not?”
“Because I like men.”
Naturally. If he’d fallen for a boy at the age of twelve, it was pretty clear Nigel’s preference leaned that way. Even when it wasn’t romantic, every person he’d ever found himself thinking was ‘not bad’ had been a man. Even all the people Inas threw a fit over for setting off flags were guys.
Even that vision where he’d supposedly married Danika had felt incredibly off. The person had been surprising, sure, but what felt stranger was the fact that he’d married a woman.
But to Nigel’s surprise, Inas looked genuinely shocked.
“Why are you so shocked?”
“Because I’d still be me. Just because I became a woman doesn’t mean I’d stop being me, right?”
That was… unusually rational, coming from Inas. But if Nigel nodded now, he wouldn’t put it past Inas to dig up some method to actually change his gender. That was terrifying.
“I like you. As you are. As a man.”
“As a man…”
Inas repeated the phrase with strange solemnity. Then he snapped his gaze up and stared challengingly at Nigel.
“Then what if I became a male cat?”
The sheer absurdity made Nigel recoil.
“What the hell kind of crazy talk is that?”
“If I were a tomcat, would you still like me?”
“I-I mean… I’d like you, sure, but… not like I do now.”
“I’d still love you even if you became a woman, a dwarf, a giant, a cat, a roadside flower, or even a Tandem.”
Tandem—a monster with a face like a squashed human. Known for a revolting stench, like sweaty laundry mixed with sour milk, they ranked high on the knight order’s “most hated monsters” list.
Becoming a Tandem? Just imagining it made Nigel gag. He shook his head sternly.
“No. You don’t have to love me that much… Why are you always so extreme? You and I—just as we are—is already enough.”
“It’s not enough.”
Inas replied gloomily.
“Then… at least love me enough as I am now…”
He whispered like he might shatter any moment. Even though his voice had deepened post-puberty, it still wasn’t quite that of a grown man. Thin and frail, like a wounded young beast.
Inas took Nigel’s hand and brought it to his lips. His movements were considerate, careful with the small fingers, clean and without lingering stickiness. But the emotion behind his gaze was heavier than anything else.
“Nigel. Please…”
The words trailed off. He meant it—he’d love Nigel no matter what he became. Nigel found himself reaching out to him before he even realized it.
And then he caught himself. This guy—he survived being stabbed, for gods’ sake. Like hell he’d be hurt by a few offhand jokes.
“Y-You—cut it out with the games.”
“Hmph.”
Inas caught the hand Nigel tried to pull back, pressed his lips to the back of it, and released it.
“Busted.”
His demeanor shifted in an instant. The tragic mood vanished without a trace. Nigel gawked at the brazen act and pointed a finger.
“You—shameless…”
“Not shameless. I was being honest. I always am. Of course, you wouldn’t love me if I were a woman, or a dwarf, or a giant, or a cat, or a roadside flower, or a Tandem…”
“Inas…”
Nigel grimaced, clearly at a loss, and Inas let out a light laugh.
“Just kidding. It’s not like I’m going to become something else. You love my face and body as they are. Why would I throw that away? Gotta make the most of what I’ve got.”
What, did he think Nigel was just some shallow face-chaser? But then again… he couldn’t completely deny it. The past and present were riddled with evidence. His cheeks flared again with embarrassment.
Then suddenly, a stray thought popped into his head.
The Inas Idenbach standing before him had stolen the place of the original Inas Idenbach. Which meant that, before he became Inas Idenbach, he must’ve looked completely different.
Was that what he meant earlier? Becoming something else entirely on the outside?
Nigel had never really wondered what the original Inas looked like. His world was here, and his Inas would always be this Inas Idenbach. It had to be that way. Maybe he’d been blocking out the thought on purpose. But even if he never returned to that original body… that had once been a part of him.
That made Nigel regret his earlier offhand comment. His voice grew more serious.
“Of course… no matter what your outside looks like, you’re still you. Even if you were way less attractive than you are now… I’d still like you.”
“What are you talking about? I’ll always be the guy who’s your exact type, face and body both, so don’t worry.”
Inas replied casually, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, even shrugging his shoulders.
Maybe Nigel had just been overthinking it. He felt a little silly, but at least Inas wasn’t hurt.
Inas reached out to him again. This time, he simply laid a hand on Nigel’s forehead before pulling away.
“You’re running a bit of a fever. Probably from getting worked up. It’s not bad, but get some rest.”
“Whose fault do you think that is…”
Nigel grumbled but obediently lay down.
“I’ll bring you your meal now. Eat something before you sleep.”
“Okay.”
He answered meekly and leaned back into the bed. Inas returned soon after and fed Nigel by hand, caring for him with gentle, unwavering attention.
