When Banteon opened his eyes again, the sun had already set and evening had fallen. So I wasted another afternoon lazing around, he thought, and when he turned his head, he saw Delroz sitting by the window.
Bathed in the halo of a bright full moon, golden eyes gleamed in the silhouette. The figure sat still and silent, not even giving off a hint of presence—and only then did the forgotten truth come back to him.
He often thought that Delroz didn’t seem human. And in fact, he wasn’t. Just like Rohan, Delroz wasn’t human. So then, what was he thinking, staying by Banteon’s side like this?
“It’s already dawn. Go back to sleep.”
“Why aren’t you asleep?”
“I wanted to be here when you woke up.”
It made sense to expect he’d wake up midway through the night since he went to bed early—but there’s no way Delroz could have known what time that would be. Had he really planned to wait, with no end in sight, until morning?
Banteon sat up, easing the stiffness in his back and resting against the headboard. His entire body ached from his shoulders down. Maybe the soreness wasn’t just from lying down too long. Despite the pain, his body felt refreshed—sated after finally releasing built-up desire. After sleeping soundly, not a trace of fatigue remained.
As he shifted around to find a comfortable position, rustling the bedding, Delroz approached and pulled the fallen blanket back up to Banteon’s neck. Then, once again, he simply stood there in a daze. Banteon gave the spot beside him a gentle pat, and as if he’d been waiting for that signal, Delroz sat down next to him.
Up close, Delroz’s expression wasn’t a happy one. After all they’d done to each other—why did he look so glum?
“What’s with that face?”
“I don’t like the way you look when you’re asleep.”
What was he supposed to do about that? He gave Delroz a dissatisfied glare in return, and Delroz turned his head away.
“It looked like you might never wake up.”
……
Wounds covered him, inside and out. The scars weren’t just physical. And ironically, Banteon—the one who had actually been unconscious for so long—came away with no lingering aftereffects. It was everyone around him who had rusted away inside their shells.
Banteon ran a hand through his messy hair and replied.
“I’m just sleeping. I told you, I’m fine now.”
“Even sitting here talking to you like this… it still feels like a dream. What if this is a dream? What if you still haven’t come back to your senses… and that’s the real world…?”
Delroz’s quiet voice trailed off as he reached out and held Banteon’s arm, fingertips gently brushing along it as if to feel its texture.
“…In my dreams, I still see you lying there. Honestly, it feels more real than this.”
“You have that dream often?”
“Every single night.”
So that’s why he always stayed until Banteon fell asleep, only leaving once he confirmed he’d woken up. Banteon had thought it was just Delroz trying to get closer to him. He had no idea this kind of anxiety was eating away at him.
Part of him wanted to argue—Can’t you just bury all that and dream about a happy future instead? There’s no more danger now. They could focus on joyful things. He wanted to say all of that, but reality was never that easy.
The months that were a blank for Banteon must have been sheer hell for Delroz. He couldn’t blame him. All he could do was let out a bitter laugh.
“Wanna lie down?”
He lifted the blanket beside him. The cool night breeze brushed against his skin.
……
Delroz hesitated a little, then quietly moved his large frame beneath the blanket. Banteon wasn’t used to having someone sleeping beside him, but maybe it was worth a try. Better to tolerate a bit of discomfort than let his Esper tremble in anxiety through the night.
Thinking like this, he realized he was already far gone. He murmured to himself and gave Delroz’s back a light pat.
“Go to sleep. If I’m right here when you wake up, maybe it’ll help.”
If the dream felt real, then all he had to do was give him something that felt even more real. Delroz’s eyes fluttered shut at the touch of Banteon’s hand—then opened again. His vacant gaze, once staring into the distance, slowly lowered to rest on Banteon’s chest. The subtle weight of his head swayed gently with each breath, grounding him.
“You like lying like this?”
“I’m so happy, it’s terrifying.”
“If it feels good, then it’s good. What’s so scary about that?”
“That it might end someday.”
Delroz reached out and wrapped his arms around Banteon’s waist, pressing his upper body against the smaller man as if to bury himself in him.
“I have a favor to ask.”
He mumbled without even lifting his head, and Banteon responded with another soft pat. After a brief pause, Delroz finally spoke.
“If your feelings ever change… If you ever get tired of me, please just tell me.”
……
“Don’t try to push me away by being cold. That would hurt too much.”
The honesty of that confession drew a sigh from Banteon. This was his fault. He had known how Delroz felt, yet left him hanging for so long. This was the consequence.
Back then, he’d sworn he would never accept him. That giving false hope was the cruelest thing of all. He’d convinced himself that was the wise choice.
But things had changed. The two of them had acknowledged each other at last. And if they were going to face the future together, then they had to accept the past too.
The lingering anxiety in Delroz was also something Banteon had to take responsibility for. He gently cupped Delroz’s face, still nestled against his chest.
Looking into the slowly rising gaze, he spoke.
“If I told you I didn’t want you anymore, what would you do?”
It was just a simple question. Yet Delroz’s eyes twisted in pain at the hypothetical of a future that hadn’t come.
“…Then I’ll be the one to leave first.”
“And go where? You can’t even receive guiding without me.”
At that, Delroz’s tightly pressed lips refused to part. He was entertaining useless thoughts again. Banteon leaned down and softly kissed Delroz’s anguished eyelids.
He placed light kisses on both eyes before lifting his head.
“Don’t take this lightly. I’ve saved your life twice—do you really think I’d just let go now?”
He had risked himself knowingly, again and again. Maybe at first, in the capital, it had been out of fear of what might happen if Delroz went out of control. But the last time—when he entrusted himself to Delroz in the desert—there had been no such calculation left in his mind.
He had simply thought: I have to save him. I can’t let him go like this.
Banteon saw Delroz slowly close and reopen his kissed eyes. Then his lips curled upward in a gentle smile.
“It wasn’t just twice. It’s three times.”
“…What?”
Banteon’s eyes widened as he processed what Delroz had just said.
“The Guide who saved me during my first rampage… That was you, Banteon.”
His breath caught. A flood of memories flashed beneath his wide eyes. He’d saved Delroz once in the desert. Another time during a rampage at the Center’s library.
And the final time—on the night of the fog-shrouded full moon.
They had first met as Delroz was about to lose control on a remote path lined with overgrown brush near the Center.
“That foggy night. We first saw each other among the wet bushes.”
A place known only to the two of them—Delroz and Banteon.
“You… how long have you known?”
Delroz didn’t answer. He just smiled and tightened the arms wrapped around Banteon. The body leaning against the headboard was slowly drawn downward, and Delroz’s large frame moved over him, laying Banteon flat on the bed.
Backlit by moonlight, Delroz looked down at him—and the sight stirred a strange déjà vu. If their positions had been reversed that night… this would’ve been the view Delroz saw.
“At first, I thought it was a hallucination. A pain-induced illusion. But the moment I touched you, I just knew. Instinctively. That I had to hold on. That this was what I’d have to hold onto for the rest of my life.”
Even as Delroz spoke of the past in a quiet, wistful voice, Banteon couldn’t stop the question from echoing in his head: When did he find out? Delroz, perhaps sensing the overwhelming shock, leaned down and kissed Banteon’s eyelids.
Like melting a piece of candy, he slowly licked over the reflexively shut lids, then chuckled. His fingers gripped Banteon’s arms with firm tenderness—a silent vow never to let go.
“When did you find out? Did you know from the start?”
“Does it matter?”
“Of course it matters! Do you even know how much I—”
…suffered because of it. But the words stopped there. There was no need to voice how hard he’d tried to avoid Delroz. Perhaps understanding what Banteon had been about to say, Delroz gave a playful, reproachful nibble on his neck. Not enough to leave a mark, just a soft bite, followed by a soothing lick as if to heal it—prompting a laugh to escape.
Yeah. What does it even matter anymore? This was how it was always going to end. The feel of Delroz’s black hair slipping through his fingers was so satisfying—wasn’t that enough? Sure, he still held some resentment for all the effort he wasted trying to run, but there was no point in letting that ruin a perfect moment.
“Delroz. Should we match?”
He asked while watching Delroz tilt his head in confusion. Officially, Delroz and Banteon were still only temporary match partners. An interim contract that gave them priority over others but offered no real legal protection.
“Let’s go to the Center and make it official. As soon as the sun rises tomorrow.”
Golden eyes, glowing in the dark, crinkled into pure joy. It felt right. Seeing those crescent-shaped, radiant eyes—it was easy to imagine a future where they lived like this, forever content.
As he welcomed the arms pulling him in tightly, he met Delroz’s warm lips with his own.
How to Avoid an SS-Rank Esper: Complete.
Thank you for translating this!