Still, Vincent had been my child for four years. But in a moment, Vincent naturally treated Cedric like his father. I stared blankly ahead. It felt like Cedric had taken everything from me for good now.
I even thought that soon, he might take not just Vincent’s body but his heart too. The result of loving Cedric was only emptiness.
I struggled to stand up and went to the table. The more Vincent relied on Cedric, the harder it would be for him to leave with me.
“I have to separate them now, even if it’s late.”
I pulled the signaling cord immediately. After a moment, there was a knock on the door, and a maid came in.
“Did you call?”
“Bring Sahel here.”
The maid nodded and left the room. I waited anxiously for Sahel. I needed to persuade her first. I didn’t know if it would work, though.
Then I heard a soft knock. Without saying anything, I opened the door wide. Sahel looked surprised, then bowed her head and looked around carefully.
“What is it…?”
“What is Vincent doing today?”
“Today is the day the ancient Trpelier tutor comes, so Vincent has language lessons planned.”
“He’s only four years old.”
“That’s true, but with the ancient Trpelier tutor, it’s easier to learn later if you get used to it from a very young age. And the young master enjoys it, too.”
I had never heard of this before, so I didn’t know what to say. The words of my housekeeper echoed in my mind — that my family was nothing, and I wouldn’t be able to teach him properly.
I stood with a hard expression, and Sahel said,
“By the way, the ancient Trpelier tutor who comes now is very hard to get, even for most noble families.”
“So, that means he’s very expensive?”
Sahel nodded awkwardly.
“How much does this tutor cost?”
“About one million crocks.”
I couldn’t say a word. One million crocks. After a moment of silence, Sahel spoke carefully.
“Nowadays, everyone does this. The tutor’s teaching ability is excellent. Also, the tutor for the Jedburgh family has no criminal record and good character.”
“So Cedric got that kind of education too?”
Sahel nodded.
“The duke received even more education than now. The young master’s education was reduced a little because he is still very young.”
My head felt empty. The more I thought about leaving this mansion, the more something seemed to hold me back. If Vincent left with me, could he really get a good education?
He definitely could not. I couldn’t afford to pay one million crocks for a tutor right now.
Then Sahel looked cautious and said softly,
“Lady Revril, would you like to see the young master for a moment?”
“Now?”
Sahel nodded and bowed slightly.
“It’s just about time for his lesson to start. The master told me not to disturb the young master while he studies, but you’re his mother. You’ve never seen him study before.”
I nodded, and Sahel stepped aside to lead me.
“This way, please.”
Following Sahel, I saw a large room. The door was slightly open, and Sahel stepped aside for me to look inside. The room was surrounded by books, a perfect place to focus. Vincent sat at a small desk with many word pieces scattered around.
The tutor looked strict but seemed to treat Vincent kindly. Listening to the tutor, Vincent smiled brightly. Even though the lesson could be boring, Vincent looked happy—more than when he was with me. My heart ached. If I left here, Vincent wouldn’t get good education.
I sighed quietly and turned away. Sahel looked at me carefully.
“Don’t you want to see more?”
I nodded, and Sahel slowly closed the door as she stepped back.
“The young master really likes it. He prefers ancient language more than history.”
As I listened quietly, Sahel continued.
“He definitely has talent for languages.”
Talent was a good word, but I doubted if I could give Vincent a good education outside this place. My clenched fist trembled. I wanted to break free from Cedric, but I didn’t expect to be held back like this.
“Lady Revril?”
Sahel looked at me with concern. I controlled my emotions and spoke calmly.
“Thank you for showing me this much.”
Then I turned and returned to my room. On the way back, I hated Cedric who came to my mind.
“Love, huh.”
It was nothing but his obsession to own me. Cedric was clearly mistaken. That was not love.
I walked with a heavy heart and saw a closed door. I stopped for a moment and looked at it. It was the room Cedric made for the child when he asked to join with me before. After a moment, I passed by with a hardened heart.
When I entered the bedroom, something was stacked on the table. Looking closely, they were letters. Then I remembered I hadn’t properly written to the people at the Yurhen temple. I had been too busy after coming to Bestine mansion.
Feeling a little sorry, I wrote letters to the temple people. I asked Chartine how she was and if the temple was still fine. I told Floren I missed the sandwiches I made before. To the priest, I said thank you and promised to visit someday.
While writing, my heart felt uneasy. Still, I thought I would definitely go there and carefully rolled the letters into envelopes.
Later, I saw many letters on the table, sealed with noble family stamps and sent by quite famous people. They were clearly from the social circle, so I didn’t expect much.
Half of the letters were invitations, and the other half welcomed me back. Some wrote long apologies for the past. But strangely, no true sincerity showed. Maybe it was because I was tired of this social world in the first place.
I didn’t have the energy to reply, so I shoved all the letters in the drawer and pulled the signaling cord. Soon the maid came to my room. I handed her the letter for the temple.
“Please send this letter.”
The maid nodded dutifully and said,
“Lady Revril, you need to choose a dress for the ball in two days. Would you like to pick one now?”
“A dress?”
“Yes, several dress shops sent gifts of dresses recently. Especially from Gienne, many dresses came.”
Before, every time I had a ball, some dress shops sent me dresses. Most were shops that wanted to advertise their name, but proud Gienne had never sent me dresses before. Back then, like the social circle, even the shops seemed to dislike me.
“Gienne sent dresses?”
I thought how much things had changed. The maid looked at me carefully and asked,
“Lady Revril, would you like to choose a dress now?”
I was tired and shook my head.
“Choose a simple dress for me.”
The maid looked surprised but nodded.
“Then I will choose one that fits your dignity.”
I nodded, and the maid asked,
“Is there anything else you need?”
“No.”
The maid bowed deeply, seeming nervous, and left the room.
The ball would be in two days. Cedric would surely announce my existence there. That would mean publicly accepting our relationship.
I thought of Vincent. If I could see Vincent regularly, maybe living separately outside here wouldn’t be so bad. Since I had Vincent, I felt a tie with Cedric I could never cut, and that made me feel bad. But I didn’t expect him to hold me back like this.
Still, I held a small hope. At least I had taken birth control pills, so I didn’t have to worry for a month. If I could leave him and live away during that time, that would be my wish.
I didn’t want to suffer from Cedric while exhausted anymore. Also, now I couldn’t even leave the mansion freely, so it was even harder. I didn’t want to go to the boring ball either.
