Without realizing it, I was holding it tightly, and the doctor smiled as he spoke.
“You don’t have to hold it so tight. Even if you hold it gently, the result will come out.”
“How many minutes will it take?”
“Maybe the color will change in about 10 minutes.”
I glanced at the clock and looked at the stone. Fortunately, the stone was still black. Chartine seemed just as nervous as I was and watched carefully. After holding it for quite a long time, my hands started to sweat.
The doctor looked at me calmly and said,
“You can take your hand off now.”
I slowly took my hand away. Luckily, the color didn’t seem to change. I felt a little relieved, but the doctor held the stone and looked at it from different angles. Then, the color began to change little by little. As I stared stiffly, the doctor rummaged through his bag and took out a white medicine, dropping a few drops on the stone. The black stone turned completely white.
I couldn’t believe it and looked at the doctor. He smiled brightly and said,
“You’re pregnant!”
Pregnant. It was something I could never imagine. When I was with Cedric, I secretly hoped for it. I thought if I had a child, maybe the situation would change a little, so I even prayed for it. But not now.
I thought I could finally forget Cedric completely and live a new life…
When I was with Cedric, nothing went my way, but now that it happened, it felt empty. It was like a nail was hammered in, saying I could never escape him. I looked at the doctor again, unable to believe it.
“Could this result be wrong?”
“No. We even tested with medicine, so the chance of a mistake is very low.”
My expression was still not good, so the doctor looked at Chartine. Chartine smiled awkwardly and said,
“It’s probably because she’s so surprised by the unexpected news. Her husband is far away, so she might be a bit shocked.”
Surprised by the unexpected words, I looked at Chartine. She blinked and gestured at me. I didn’t answer, sensing there was more to say. Then the doctor smiled and continued,
“Well, since the husband is far away, it’s understandable to be surprised. But he will be very happy when he knows.”
The doctor wrapped the white stone nicely, looking pleased.
“If you give this to him, he’ll like it even more.”
I didn’t want to accept it, but I had no choice. Whether Cedric would be happy was unknown. No, I didn’t want to see him anymore. Without thinking, I held the stone tightly, and Chartine touched my shoulder and asked the doctor,
“Doctor, thank you. But do we have to pay separately for the pregnancy test?”
The doctor waved his hand and quickly said,
“No, the pregnancy test is free. But you will have to pay for tests related to the baby.”
I stayed silent, and Chartine quickly said,
“But it’s not time for the baby’s tests yet, right?”
“Yes, come back in about two weeks. It’s better to go to Kellabird than here then.”
Chartine nodded with a steady smile. Then she gently led me out of the tent. I still couldn’t clear my mind.
Pregnant.
It was a reality I couldn’t accept. I followed Chartine walking past many people without energy. Today was the doctor’s day, so even though it was a small village, many people were around. As we entered the path to the temple, fewer people were seen. Then Chartine finally spoke.
“Revril, I’m sorry.”
I didn’t understand what she meant and looked at her. She continued,
“In this village, if a woman without a husband is pregnant, people see it badly.”
I couldn’t speak. What should I do now?
Cedric wouldn’t want a child now either. He took birth control pills regularly even though we were together. And now, I didn’t want his child either. I wanted to cut all ties with him.
“Chartine.”
Startled by my sudden call, Chartine turned around. I hesitated a moment and said,
“Can I get rid of the baby?”
Chartine’s eyes widened, and she shook her head.
“Revril, I don’t know your story, but a child is a blessing. Don’t think like that.”
I had nothing else to say. Blessing? To me, it was despair. Not able to say more, Chartine took my hand and said,
“If things are hard, Floren and I can help take care of the baby. We both have experience with childbirth.”
“……”
“And as I said before, I’ll tell people your husband is away on business. It might be strange if they know you don’t have a husband here.”
“Is that okay? It’s my first time. And…”
I looked down at my belly. I didn’t feel anything. It didn’t feel real. Then, a warm hand held mine tightly.
“Revril, don’t worry.”
Tears suddenly fell. Cedric might already be married to Selena, and what was I doing? Loving someone I couldn’t even touch was such a big sin.
For a month, I spent most nights crying. Floren comforted me by blaming her husband who had already left.
“My husband who left me is still not living well. Later I found out he was living with that woman and even lost money gambling.”
Cedric seemed like he would live well, so that wasn’t any comfort to me. And with Selena there, his family was even better off.
Seeing me unhappy, Floren quietly said,
“Revril, don’t despair too much. When I first learned that news, I was shocked too. But I’m glad I didn’t get rid of the baby.”
“Should I do the same?”
I asked weakly. Floren patted my back and nodded.
“It’s hard now, but later you’ll be glad you had the baby. The funny thing is my ex-husband still doesn’t know I have a child.”
Floren giggled and looked at me.
“Revril, just don’t tell your ex-husband, just in case.”
“Why?”
“He might try to take the child because it’s his.”
I almost laughed but stopped myself.
“That won’t happen.”
Chartine looked at me puzzled. I sighed and continued,
“He won’t care about me anymore.”
He might already be living well with Selena. Maybe in the noble estate. Or maybe at the Bestine estate where I was always. Thinking about that hurt inside. I didn’t know why I was so obsessed with Cedric when it would end like this. Like he said, I was just a miserable person.
Then a warm body touched me. Floren patted me and quietly said,
“Revril, you have me and Chartine. If you’re having a hard time, talk to us anytime.”
I nodded with tears. Without Chartine and Floren, I wouldn’t have been so calm.
During the pregnancy, I was very sleepy and felt sick. I couldn’t eat well and often lay in bed because my stomach was upset. Still, Floren made food I could eat, and Chartine worked for me.
I was very thankful, but all I could do was try to keep working and not waste food.
My belly grew bigger, and Chartine said the due date was coming. By then, I wanted to see the baby soon. My body was heavy, and I got out of breath walking a little. Sleeping was hard too.
After the hard and tiring nights, when I gave birth, Chartine said,
“It’s a handsome boy.”
I had already thought so secretly. When I saw him, he was wrinkled and ugly, but his bright blue eyes were very clear, like Cedric’s. Seeing him made me both amazed and sad. I felt it would be hard to ever escape Cedric completely.
Still, I smiled at the baby. The baby didn’t deserve blame. Around that time, Cedric was invading nearby countries. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but the temple nearby was slowly turning into a military base.
Chartine worried quietly and muttered to the baby,
“This place should be safe.”
This temple was almost built by her father, so she cared deeply. Chartine gently touched the baby’s tiny hand and smiled.
“Baby, you’re lucky. You have three moms.”
Floren, standing nearby, smiled as she looked at the baby. Then, Chartine spoke with concern.
“But since the baby was born at the temple, how will the birth be registered?”
“Don’t temples register births?”
“No, it’s complicated. Actually, Revril hasn’t registered being here either.”
