#098
“What did you do?”
I asked because just walking silently felt awkward. Honestly, I was also curious since I hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him since yesterday.
“This and that. City committee work, guild work, processing what we harvested from the snowy mountains. What about you?”
I thought he might respond with something like “what’s it to you,” but surprisingly I got a normal answer. So I, too, was about to retort “don’t you already know everything from Taro’s reports anyway” but stopped and answered obediently instead.
“I met the Priest, met the Mayor… but the Mayor talked about holding a festival?”
“Mm. So it seems.”
“I was a bit surprised at first because I wondered if that was even possible right now…”
While exchanging various stories about the festival, we quickly arrived in front of the entrance.
“…so I think if we increase support a bit more and expand buying and selling daily necessities… huh? Why?”
I was continuing the conversation while reaching out to knock on the door knocker, but Carlisle suddenly pressed down firmly on the back of my hand. When I looked at him puzzled, Carlisle tilted his face slightly toward me.
“Get some rest. See you later.”
“?”
I don’t know what he’s talking about when we’re already home.
“Aren’t you going in?”
Carlisle nodded lightly.
“Mm, I need to go back. Work isn’t finished yet.”
I asked, bewildered.
“What are you talking about? Didn’t you come after finishing? Then why did you come here?”
“Just, to see you for a moment?”
My mouth fell open. What kind of embarrassing line was this? What was he trying to accomplish with those words? Was he teasing me?
When suspicion spread in my dumbfounded eyes, Carlisle let out a breathy laugh.
“It might be disappointing, but eat dinner alone and go to bed early. I’ll probably be late, so it’ll be hard to see each other today.”
Carlisle said that while tapping my cheek, then really turned around. I was dumbfounded and just staring blankly at his retreating figure when he suddenly looked back at me.
“Oh, right. Sleep in my room.”
“What?”
“I’ll just hold you while sleeping, so don’t get any pointless expectations.”
“…No way, why should I.”
When I reflexively retorted rebelliously at his teasing tone, he twisted the corner of his mouth slightly.
“If you don’t want to, I’ll come to your room instead. But then I won’t just hold you while sleeping, so if that’s what you want, do as you please.”
“That…”
While I was speechless at his audacity, Carlisle waved his hand again and moved away. As he disappeared into the car waiting in front of the gate, almost simultaneously the front door opened and butler Hayden greeted me as if it were a baton pass.
***
That night.
“I’ve prepared the inner bedroom for you to sleep in.”
Hayden said as I was about to go upstairs after finishing dinner. The inner bedroom meant Carlisle’s bedroom located at the very end of the hallway. That bastard must have shamelessly told Hayden to put me in his bedroom.
We’re not even royalty, but having to live while informing others about bedroom arrangements… as an unmarried commoner who lived alone in a small studio apartment, this was something I could never get used to.
Rubbing my hot face roughly, I went up to the second floor and first checked the room I’d been using.
“…”
It wasn’t just that I was supposed to sleep in Carlisle’s bedroom. Everything from the bed to the bathroom was cleaned so thoroughly there was no trace of use. Bath items like soap and towels had completely disappeared, and the bed was stripped of everything including pillows, blankets, and even sheets, covered only with white dust-prevention cloth.
When I entered Carlisle’s bedroom, I saw my pajamas laid out on the huge bed. There was a separate dressing room just for me where all my luggage including my backpack had been moved.
After showering in the bathroom attached to that room and coming out to sit blankly on the bed, I felt restless. The room was excessively large, making me feel empty being alone.
I should have been exhausted since the aftereffects of the expedition hadn’t worn off yet and I’d been running around busily from morning to evening today, but I couldn’t sleep because that bastard Carlisle had said pointless nonsense about holding or not holding. Even the slightest sound from outside made me startle and prick up my ears, wondering if Carlisle had returned.
‘But why am I being so concerned about this?’
If he comes, he comes – what does it have to do with me? I got pointlessly angry at my own sensitivity. Anyway, he said he wouldn’t do anything even if he came… and didn’t he even say he’d be too late to see me? What reason was there to be so concerned I couldn’t sleep?
And so what if we did something? It’s not like I dislike it – we’d just enjoy one night together and that’s it.
“…”
I tried to act cool by telling myself that, but as soon as I had those thoughts, blood rushed to my face. Honestly, nights with Carlisle were too intense to casually enjoy or whatever. Above all, the biggest problem was that the stimulation he gave was too excessive, so when I got swept up in pleasure, a me I didn’t know, a me that wasn’t me, would pop out.
I didn’t realize it when excited, but thinking back with a clear mind afterward was so embarrassing and mortifying that I’d get reality shock to the point of wanting to die. It wasn’t something that would end with just kicking the blankets. I wondered if it might get better if I did it a few more times and got used to it, but… ah, anyway.
I buried my flushed face in the blanket. But this was also a mistake. The blanket seemed to smell like Carlisle. Actually, from the moment I entered the bedroom, I’d felt Carlisle’s scent subtly permeating the entire room. The bedding especially had a thick scent as if mixed with body odor, making heat rise subtly not just in my face but between my legs.
I remembered when my thing was sucked into Carlisle’s mouth in the hot spring at the snowy mountains. The sensation when slippery mucous membranes wrapped around the shaft and his hot tongue dug into the urethra. When he grazed with his teeth, chills ran through my whole body, and when he roughly sucked, I felt like I’d lose my mind.
And above all, that gaze looking up at me while holding my thing in his mouth. It felt hotter than the hot spring water or Carlisle’s body temperature that seemed like it would burn…
“Haa…”
I put my hand between my legs and pressed down firmly. I thought of Carlisle’s large hands. Imagining those unusually hot and rough hands kneading and rubbing my thing until it felt like bursting made me want to rub and shake wildly.
But I can’t.
“Hnngh…”
I crossed my legs and tensed my thighs. Masturbating in Carlisle’s bed? Am I crazy? That absolutely cannot happen. Carlisle might return and catch me in the act, and even if I wasn’t caught red-handed, there was no way Carlisle wouldn’t notice the smell of masturbation on the blanket. I’d rather die than have him notice that.
‘Think of something else, something else.’
I was planning to meet Eira tomorrow. Let me organize what to talk about when meeting Eira. If not that, there was also festival work. Besides sowing seeds and planting trees, I needed to think of some events to attend planning meetings. But thinking about actual work might actually keep me awake.
Should I go to Carlisle’s study and steal some whiskey to drink? But alcohol wasn’t a safe choice either. There was something Carlisle had said the first time we slept together. When I said I’d need alcohol’s help because it was hard to fall asleep, he said he’d help me sleep soundly all night instead of alcohol.
“Far from helping me sleep, he kept me awake all night…”
I grumbled with a reddened face, but it was true that I’d fallen into deep sleep afterward like I’d lost consciousness. There was no need to smell like alcohol and remind Carlisle of what he’d said. I could clearly picture him saying nonsense like whether I drank because he didn’t help me sleep.
I tried hard to think about festival-related matters again. But before long, I found myself back to thinking about Carlisle without realizing it. I remembered what Carlisle had said when we met at the entrance earlier. What he’d answered when I asked what he’d come for when he was going back without coming in together.
‘Just, to see you for a moment?’
Did he mean it sincerely?
“No way.”
I deliberately muttered aloud that it was definitely something he said just to tease me, but my head was recalling his appearance showering kisses on my face to comfort me when I was crying in the snowy mountains. The sensation of his large hand stroking my face for no reason was also vivid.
“Honestly, anyone can see it’s just hitting on someone.”
He always criticized me for being a playboy, but in my case it was clearly a misunderstanding, while he was the one truly hitting on me without any feelings. He definitely knew his own charm and was deliberately trying to seduce me. Anyway, now he completely thought of me as his personal pain potion.
“Don’t get the wrong idea and have expectations by yourself.”
Despite repeating what must have been countless resolutions that weren’t really resolutions, my heart wouldn’t listen and kept pounding.
‘Is it arrhythmia… I haven’t even been drinking coffee lately.’
In the end, I tossed and turned tormented by all sorts of thoughts, only managing to fall asleep when night deepened and it was close to dawn.
The next morning when I woke up, I was still lying alone on the huge bed. There was no trace of anyone having come to sleep next to me.
‘Shibal… I’m pissed.’
He’d never intended to come in the first place and was just teasing me. I felt like an idiot for being swayed by meaningless words and having my heart pound all night. Anyway, that bastard hugged me because of his body’s pain, but if the condition was bearable, he clearly had no intention of touching me. He just wanted to keep me within reach so he could find me immediately when needed. In other words, he was managing me.
‘Promises and everything…’
I gripped and twisted the blanket tightly.
Just try hitting on me before the next expedition. I’ll drag it out acting like I will or won’t, then reject you at the last minute. I’ll never be played by that bastard’s schemes again. I don’t care if he dies in pain during the expedition.
I ground my teeth and swore revenge.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
