Bombshell Statement (3)
Though Mo Yeon spoke sharply, Tae Young-won seemed not to have heard him.
“Why are you in a good mood?”
This wasn’t the reaction Mo Yeon had expected. In his bewilderment, he shouted without thinking.
“Actually, I wasn’t feeling good at all, but somehow I started feeling better. But that’s not right, is it? You always said we shouldn’t have unnecessary emotions. You kept saying we shouldn’t like each other whenever you opened your mouth, sunbae!”
“……”
“You should be disgusted. You should be tired of me and dislike me. Why do you like me!”
This was the one remaining secret that Tae Young-won could never accept under any circumstances. He would likely be considerably shocked, but Mo Yeon hoped he would say that their relationship should end here. It was a confession made with the feeling of jumping into a river.
“I don’t know either. But it explains everything from your stalking to when you refused when I suggested being sex partners. You ran away because your heart hurt, and you deliberately pushed me away more…”
“……”
“Then that day I saw you, did you go there to try to forget me?”
Huh.
It seemed he really had been thinking a lot. With just one thing—that Mo Yeon liked him—he immediately interpreted everything. He looked like someone who had solved a very difficult problem. That’s why he seemed strangely excited, and why his eyes looked half-crazed.
It seemed he didn’t care at all about the feelings behind Mo Yeon’s confession.
Now Mo Yeon really wanted to end everything.
“I thought I could replace you with someone else.”
It seemed Tae Young-won still had problems to solve. But at Mo Yeon’s words, Tae Young-won’s expression immediately hardened.
“Replace me?”
He asked as if he had misheard something.
“I never liked you at all. It was my first time following someone around, and I don’t even like men originally. But it’s all because of this yang energy thing. If it weren’t for that…!”
Mo Yeon clenched his trembling fists. He was truly sick of that damn yang energy now. If it weren’t for that, he wouldn’t have to feel these awful emotions.
“I… I see ghosts, just like the rumors say.”
He had never spoken this aloud in his life. Mo Yeon decided to only take away a sense of relief now. He no longer cared what Tae Young-won thought of him.
“But when I’m with you, sunbae, I can’t see ghosts. I think that’s why I came to like you.”
“……”
“So it’s fine. I’ve been trying all along. I can just find someone else, so you can stop doing this gay thing you hate so much and go back now.”
How could revealing one’s vulnerabilities to the person who had treated him best ever feel pleasant? Even trying to smile, it wouldn’t come.
“How about it? Do you dislike me now?”
After spilling out everything, he even felt relieved. Mo Yeon instinctively knew it was time to close the door. But Mo Yeon hesitated.
“……”
His gaze went to Tae Young-won’s hands that had turned to stone.
“I’ll take the gifts.”
It wasn’t difficult to take the bouquet and shopping bag from the frozen person. Mo Yeon took the gifts and immediately closed the door.
Click.
At last, all confessions were over.
***
Unlike the recent days when he had trouble sleeping, Mo Yeon, having revealed everything he had been hiding, was able to sleep very deeply for the first time in a while.
‘If I had known it would be like this, I should have said it earlier.’
Countless people had whispered about Mo Yeon throughout his life. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that every moment had been that kind of life. And among the words that passed through others’ lips, the ones that hurt Mo Yeon the most were, of course, those related to ghosts.
For example, he started feeling hurt after hearing that his eyes looked unpleasant because “they’re eyes that see ghosts, after all.”
He couldn’t sharply cry out that it wasn’t like that, that he wasn’t that kind of person. Because ghosts really were visible to his eyes.
But confessing it himself to Tae Young-won felt quite different.
Now he wouldn’t bother him anymore, and could return to his daily life.
With that thought, Mo Yeon went to school.
Because the tape was dangling, he couldn’t wear his original horn-rimmed glasses and instead wore the glasses Tae Young-won had given him. But he planned to go buy new ones as soon as today’s classes were over.
After finishing the class that he had just been waiting to end, Mo Yeon stepped outside the lecture hall and couldn’t help but be startled.
“……”
Because Tae Young-won was waiting. Mo Yeon looked around. Watching him do this, Tae Young-won’s expression wrinkled.
“Did you think I came here to see someone else?”
“Then why……”
“Why is your phone always off? We could have missed having lunch together if we had missed each other.”
Mo Yeon blinked with a serious face.
He couldn’t understand what Tae Young-won was saying even after hearing it. Tae Young-won pulled the arm of Mo Yeon, who was standing there dumbfounded.
“Let’s go eat.”
His expression looked so much like usual that Mo Yeon could only follow in a daze.
“That ramen place we tried to go to twice before, it turns out they’re closed every Monday. And we had been going there every Monday. It’s a bit far, but since you have some time until your next class, shall we go there today?”
Even as they left the building and walked across campus, Mo Yeon continued to move only his feet in confusion. It felt like everything Tae Young-won was saying was bouncing off his ears.
Finally, before even passing the Business School building, Mo Yeon stopped walking.
“Sunbae, what are you doing right now?”
“What?”
“I’m asking what you’re doing right now.”
Mo Yeon asked in a low voice. Only then did Tae Young-won make a strange expression. If he hadn’t made that expression, Mo Yeon would have thought last night was just his dream. That’s how incredibly shameless Tae Young-won had been just a moment ago.
Mo Yeon stubbornly stared at his face. Under that gaze, Tae Young-won finally spoke.
“Actually, I have something I want to ask too.”
“What is it?”
After hesitating for a moment, he asked with a very serious face.
“Then, Mo Yeon, do you want to date me?”
“…Fuck.”
Mo Yeon muttered the curse word quietly. At this, Tae Young-won was startled. His shoulders jumped up—a bigger reaction than when Mo Yeon first told him he could see ghosts.
“What did you just say, Mo Yeon?”
“Sunbae, didn’t you hear what I said yesterday?”
“No, I think I heard what you just said properly.”
It was truly maddening. Now he felt like he could understand how Tae Young-won must have felt when he complained that Mo Yeon wasn’t making sense. Mo Yeon opened his eyes wide and spoke clearly.
“It seems like you ignored what I said yesterday, but I told you I see ghosts. Ghosts are visible to my eyes. I can see horrific and disgusting things like in movies.”
He never thought he would say such things himself, and certainly not twice in two consecutive days. But what was even more unexpected was Tae Young-won’s reaction.
“So?”
“…What did you say?”
“If such things are visible to your eyes, if everything you said yesterday is true, then you should hold onto me.”
Tae Young-won’s eyes were unwavering. His face was as serious as his low-speaking voice.
“When you’re not with me, those things are visible again, right? Then why do you keep telling me to go away?”
“So are you saying I should beg you to stay by my side?”
“That’s not it. What are you planning to do anyway? Will you really look for someone else?”
“……”
Mo Yeon looked away and nodded. Seeing his stubborn appearance, Tae Young-won sighed.
“You said it was because of yang energy.”
“……”
“Is the reason you like me solely because of yang energy?”
After hesitating, Mo Yeon nodded again. Then Tae Young-won asked in a slightly louder voice, suddenly gripping his arm firmly.
“Really? Only because of yang energy, with nothing else?”
“…I think so.”
The hand gripping his arm applied a bit more force. Mo Yeon, who had been looking at the ground, glanced at his face.
“Then you could like anyone else as long as they give you yang energy? So from the beginning, it wasn’t that you were having a hard time and trying to forget me or whatever, but you were actually looking to switch, right? Am I finally understanding this correctly?”
Somehow, his voice seemed to become increasingly agitated. Mo Yeon felt quite embarrassed as it seemed all his innermost thoughts were being exposed.
“……”
And seeing Mo Yeon not denying it, Tae Young-won seemed considerably shocked.
It seemed like he’d been seeing Tae Young-won shocked quite often since yesterday. But he had never seen him look as shocked as he did now.
“…Sunbae?”
Mo Yeon carefully shook his captured arm.
Nevertheless, Tae Young-won struggled to recover from the shock.
