9) The End of an Unrequited Love
“…All done.”
It had taken two whole hours to finally finish cleaning just one area. Seeing the sink and toilet gleaming brilliantly filled him with a sense of pride. But there was no time to stand there admiring it. There were still plenty of places that needed his attention. Kang-woo didn’t stop there and immediately moved on to cleaning the kitchen.
The kitchen turned out to be simpler than expected. All he had to do was detach the dish drying rack and rinse it with water, then wipe down the induction stove and the surrounding area with a dishcloth. The shelves and refrigerator were already frequently organized, so there was nothing in particular that needed touching.
Next was the living room. He opened every window in the house and grabbed a feather duster. He attacked every corner where the eye didn’t easily reach—TV, sofa, table, window frames—shaking loose the pale dust that had accumulated in hidden spots. After that, he ran the vacuum and wiped the entire floor with a wet mop.
Once he finished cleaning his own room the same way, the last place remaining was Seok-ho’s room.
After glancing around the empty house for a moment, Kang-woo cautiously stepped into Seok-ho’s room. He intended to wash the bedding Seok-ho used. Including the blanket, he removed all the pillowcases and sheets and placed them into the washing machine.
After opening the window wide, he wiped the dust off the bookshelf when Seok-ho’s desk suddenly caught his eye. Usually when he cleaned, he tried not to touch the desk if possible.
Seok-ho had never explicitly told him so, but Kang-woo had unconsciously acted that way all this time. Within Seok-ho’s space, Kang-woo always kept an unspoken line he had set for himself.
But today, for some reason, the urge to cross that line slowly lifted its head from deep within him. At the same time, a conversation he’d once had with Young-wan suddenly came to mind.
“Does hyung have some kind of chronic illness?”
“Ah, it’s not exactly that… But don’t ask me about it—ask Seok-ho. If I go around telling you everything, he might call me loose-lipped.”
If Seok-ho really had some illness, wouldn’t it be written in his medical exam results?
“I’m sure he left the results somewhere around here…”
He didn’t know where the courage came from. Kang-woo quietly settled into the chair in front of Seok-ho’s desk.
He brushed his palm across the desktop. Imagining Seok-ho sitting here working diligently, he reached out toward the drawer.
First, he opened the top one. There wasn’t much inside. Just a palm-sized notebook and a single fountain pen. He picked up the jet-black pen and turned it over in his hands. Its sleek, glossy design suited Seok-ho surprisingly well.
Beside it, an engraving in cursive caught his eye. Looking closer, he realized it was Seok-ho’s English name. After tracing the indented letters with his fingertip, he placed it back and closed the drawer.
The hand that opened the second drawer soon froze.
It was filled with letters.
Kang-woo lifted a few bundles tied neatly with rubber bands.
“…Won Mi-jeong.”
Checking the sender, every single one was from someone named Won Mi-jeong. Moreover, they had all arrived as international mail. The sending country varied each time.
But that wasn’t the only strange thing.
The recipient written on them was the name “Yoon Jeongwon.”
At first, he wondered if they were letters that had been delivered by mistake and simply collected here. But if they truly weren’t meant for him, Seok-ho wouldn’t be the type of person to store them until they filled an entire drawer.
“Who is Yoon Jeongwon?”
The moment the name left his lips, a scene flashed through his mind.
The tattoo engraved on Seok-ho’s body. Among them, he clearly remembered the one written in English: “JEONGWON.”
With that memory surfacing, Kang-woo impulsively opened one of the envelopes.
Inside was a short letter and a photograph.
In the photo was a woman standing before the Eiffel Tower in Paris. She possessed a mature and striking beauty, smiling brightly enough to show all her perfectly aligned teeth.
[TO. My beloved, shining Jeongwon]
The moment he read the first line of the letter, Kang-woo’s fingertips trembled.
He hurriedly shoved the photo and letter back into the envelope and slammed the drawer shut.
Bang!
The sharp noise stabbed into his ears.
His heart pounded heavily. The violent beats felt like they were scolding him for carelessly looking at someone else’s belongings.
Kang-woo’s gaze lingered on the closed drawer for a long while.
It felt as if he had secretly stolen a glimpse of someone else’s forbidden secret.
Who was this woman, that she had sent so many letters to someone named Yoon Jeongwon? And why had Seok-ho kept them all like this? Was she someone precious to Seok-ho?
The questions he threw at himself piled up, leaving an unpleasant, sticky chill in his stomach.
Kang-woo clenched his teeth tightly.
It was unmistakably jealousy.
The jealousy one feels when the attention of the person they like is directed not toward themselves, but toward someone else.
It felt unfamiliar—to feel such envy toward someone whose face he didn’t even know.
But… did he even have the right to feel this way?
To Seok-ho, he was probably nothing more than a younger kid he had happened to get acquainted with.
A feeling that defied reason was growing frighteningly fast.
Carrying emotions he could never confess, Kang-woo no longer felt certain he could keep pretending everything was normal in front of him forever.
Little by little, he began to fear his own heart.
***
It was 11 p.m. when Seok-ho returned home.
Sitting on the sofa idly fiddling with his phone, Kang-woo perked up at the sound of the door lock opening.
He stood and walked toward the entrance.
As usual, Seok-ho pushed open the inner door and stepped in with relaxed movements.
As if proving the cold wave warning issued that day, a scarf was wrapped around Seok-ho’s neck. It was the gray scarf Kang-woo had given him as a Christmas gift.
The heart that had been calm thudded heavily, and for some reason a bitter taste spread inside his mouth.
“You’re back?”
Kang-woo greeted him, trying his best to sound casual.
“Yeah, I’m back.”
Unlike Seok-ho, who returned the greeting with a faint smile, Kang-woo felt sweat gathering in his palms—perhaps because of the guilt weighing on him.
He rubbed his damp hands against his pants and followed behind Seok-ho as the man strode inside.
Crossing the living room, Seok-ho stepped past the doorway—then suddenly turned around without warning.
Kang-woo halted as well, stiffening his back.
Without thinking, he had followed right behind him, leaving barely any distance between them.
Seok-ho’s slightly sharp, triangular eyes looked straight down at him.
When Kang-woo instinctively stepped back a little, Seok-ho tilted his head and studied him.
“I’m going to change. Are you planning to keep following me in?”
Only then did Kang-woo come back to his senses. It seemed that while lost in thought, he had instinctively trailed behind Seok-ho like a baby bird following its mother.
“You seem to have a habit of sneaking peeks when other people change.”
Seok-ho spoke in a tone that made it hard to tell whether he was joking or serious. He was probably referring to the time Kang-woo had accidentally flung the door open while Seok-ho was changing.
“I’m sorry.”
Kang-woo’s face flushed instantly. He bowed his head quickly, then turned around and hurried off to the bathroom.
Seok-ho looked like he was about to stop him from behind, but then closed his mouth.
Perhaps because of the cleaning, the mirror reflected his face more clearly than usual. Anyone would see he was flushed with heat. Not only his cheeks but even around his eyes had turned red.
“At this rate, hyung is going to realize I like him.”
Muttering to himself, Kang-woo pressed the back of his hand firmly against his burning cheek.
Seok-ho’s face from just moments ago filled his mind.
The dark eyes that had met his at such close range occupied his thoughts. And those well-shaped lips, too.
Kang-woo shuddered slightly and shook his head vigorously.
Of all things, why were his lips what caught his attention in a moment like that? This won’t do. I need to splash some cold water on my face and get a grip.
He twisted the faucet all the way to the right and cupped water in both hands. Closing his eyes, he splashed the icy water onto his face. The burning heat subsided a little.
After roughly washing his face, he wiped away the water with a dry towel and stepped out—only to find Seok-ho standing right in front of the door.
He had only just cooled off, and now the very cause of his rising body temperature was standing before him again.
Startled for a moment, Kang-woo quickly hid his feelings and looked up at Seok-ho.
“Did you do a deep cleaning?”
Seok-ho suddenly asked. It seemed the evidence of all the sweeping and scrubbing around the house was obvious.
“Yes. I was bored during the day and didn’t really have anything to do, so I tried cleaning. I also washed your bedding and it’s in the dryer now. I took out another blanket temporarily, so please use that one tonight.”
After hearing the explanation, Seok-ho nodded quietly.
His dark gaze swept once across the bathroom and living room before returning to Kang-woo.
“The house got really clean.”
“Well… it wasn’t that dirty to begin with.”
Feeling awkward receiving praise for something like this, Kang-woo rubbed the back of his neck. Seok-ho watched him quietly for a moment before speaking.
“Good job. But next time, don’t do it alone. Let’s do it together.”
Two people are always better than one.
There was no reason to insist on doing a big cleaning alone, so Kang-woo nodded obediently.
Then his gaze drifted to Seok-ho’s hand holding the clothes he had brought to change into.
“Are you going to shower now?”
There was no impure intention behind the question. But it seemed Seok-ho heard it a little differently.
Crossing his arms, he leaned his body against the doorway.
“Why? Want to shower together?”
The serious look on his face made Kang-woo’s heart drop with a heavy thud.
Kang-woo parted his lips but couldn’t say anything, only blinking repeatedly.
Sometimes Seok-ho’s jokes were impossible to distinguish from serious remarks.
After all, when someone said something like that with such a solemn expression, how could the other person not take it seriously?
But if you looked more closely, the answer was there. A faint hint of amusement shimmered in his eyes.
Even after realizing the intention behind the words, Kang-woo couldn’t stop his instinctive reaction.
Despite having just washed his face with cold water, he felt it heating up again.
Before his face could turn completely red, Kang-woo quickly averted his gaze.
It didn’t make Seok-ho’s stare disappear from his cheek, but he could only hope the man wouldn’t notice how shaken he was.
“No. You usually shower after eating, but today the order seemed different. Go ahead and wash. I’ll prepare dinner.”
Keeping his voice as calm as possible, Kang-woo stepped forward to leave the bathroom.
But Seok-ho made no move to step aside.
Why is he just standing there?
Kang-woo glanced at him with questioning eyes.
Those eyes—looking particularly glossy today—quietly observed him.
“I want to move.”
Kang-woo spoke in a small but firm voice.
Only then did Seok-ho lazily straighten his body and move aside from the doorway.
Feeling as if the path might be blocked again at any moment, Kang-woo quickly slipped out of the bathroom.
Without looking back, he headed straight for the kitchen. Soon after, the sound of the bathroom door closing came from behind him.
“Phew…”
A sigh of relief escaped Kang-woo’s lips without him realizing.
***
These days, Seok-ho often found himself lost in thought.
Once he sat down, he became so deeply absorbed that he sometimes failed to hear even the sounds around him.
Of course, it wasn’t intentional.
It wasn’t that he deliberately buried himself in thought. Rather, the thoughts relentlessly came searching for Seok-ho.
