7) The Presence of Absence
Day by day passed steadily. What once felt like a distant point in time—an entire week away—had already slipped into the far past, and today had finally become the day of Seok-ho’s departure.
Since yesterday, Seok-ho had been busy. He packed his things and spoke continuously with someone in English over the phone. Kang-woo couldn’t even properly start a conversation with him, worried that he might end up bothering him.
7 a.m. Kang-woo woke early after hearing the sound of the shower running in the living room. Judging by the time needed to check in for the flight, it seemed Seok-ho had gotten up earlier than usual.
As Kang-woo sat on the sofa, blinking with a foggy mind, the bathroom door opened.
“Why are you awake? It’s not time to get up yet. Go back to sleep.”
Having spotted Kang-woo, Seok-ho approached with a towel draped around his neck. From up close, a fresh apple scent from his shampoo drifted over. Kang-woo raised his head, suppressing a yawn that threatened to escape.
“My eyes opened early.”
“For someone who woke up early, your eyelids look pretty heavy.”
A large hand ruffled his hair.
“Go back and sleep.”
“I don’t want to. You’re going far away to another place to earn money, hyung. I’m going to see you off. It’ll be hard on you.”
Kang-woo firmly shook his head and straightened his hair.
I won’t see him for a long time. I should look at him as much as I can. I’ll miss him.
He naturally swallowed the rest of those words inside.
“If someone saw you, they’d think I was emigrating. Are you trying to send me off for good? Planning to live comfortably here alone?”
Seok-ho spoke so casually, completely unaware of Kang-woo’s unsettled feelings.
“That’s not it.”
When Kang-woo replied sullenly, Seok-ho let out a quiet snort of laughter and went into the room. Soon the sound of a hair dryer followed. Sitting on the sofa, Kang-woo turned on the TV to chase away his sleepiness. He left it on a rerun variety show.
After a while, Seok-ho came out pulling a large suitcase, fully prepared to leave. Kang-woo followed him to the front door to see him off.
“Have a safe trip, hyung.”
He waved his hand with a farewell greeting. As usual when leaving for work, Seok-ho simply nodded once in response.
“If anything happens, contact me right away.”
Just as he pushed the front door open, Seok-ho turned back. Kang-woo nodded with a faint smile.
Dragging the suitcase, Seok-ho disappeared beyond the door. Only after the sound of the suitcase wheels rolling farther away—and his footsteps along with them—completely vanished did Kang-woo, now alone, walk back into the living room.
For some reason, Seok-ho’s spacious house looked especially empty today.
Only then did it truly sink in.
For the next week, he would really be alone.
[I’ve boarded the plane now.]
About two hours later, a message arrived from Seok-ho.
He had heard that the flight time from Incheon Airport to John F. Kennedy Airport was roughly fourteen hours. During that time, he probably wouldn’t be able to contact Seok-ho at all. Kang-woo moved his fingers and typed on the phone’s keyboard.
After that, he continued living as usual. Doing housework, reading, and preparing each meal.
The difference came in the evening.
Kang-woo ate an early dinner by himself and finished showering early. He watched a drama on TV for a short while but turned it off when it became boring. After that, he locked the front door’s safety latch and went into the room.
Normally, he would have stayed awake waiting until Seok-ho came home from work before falling asleep. But today was a day when Seok-ho wouldn’t be coming back.
Since there was nothing in particular to do alone, he decided he should just go to bed early.
Kang-woo lay flat on his back, blinking. The dim ceiling of the room came into view. Without the occasional signs of Seok-ho’s presence he usually heard, everything somehow felt unfamiliar.
Let’s stop thinking and just sleep.
His eyes, which had been staring blankly, finally closed tightly.
***
Seok-ho got off the plane at John F. Kennedy Airport and endured a long hour-and-a-half immigration inspection before immediately heading to the hotel in the Uber his client had reserved.
Foreign scenery passed by outside the window. Though New York was known as a glamorous city, it had more rundown buildings than he had expected. As he watched old structures bearing the marks of time drift through his view, fatigue washed over him and he closed his eyes.
About fifty minutes later, he arrived at the hotel. The moment he finished checking in at the lobby and stepped into his room, a call came from Young-wan as if on cue.
—Hey, Kwon Seok-ho. Did you arrive safely in the U.S.?
The cheerful tone in his voice was irritating. Seok-ho answered bluntly.
“Don’t you sleep?”
—If a doctor sleeps too much, that’s a problem. It’s only 2 a.m. Did you get to the hotel?
“Just arrived.”
Seok-ho took off his coat while moving the phone to his other ear. From the other end came a voice full of envy.
—Man, must be nice. I’m rotting away in the hospital every single day while someone else gets to go abroad on a business trip.
“I came here to work. What’s so nice about it?”
—Still, getting to go overseas for work is something. And it’s the U.S., no less. You only realize how nice that is after breathing stale hospital room air day and night like me. I don’t even have time to step outside for a cigarette.
Young-wan continued grumbling for a while. Seok-ho simply listened silently to his friend’s complaints, his gaze drifting out the window.
As if proudly boasting its view of Brooklyn Bridge—one of New York’s most famous tourist attractions—the long bridge stretched across the deep blue river, its gothic arch towers standing at the center.
He lowered his gaze further. Since it was lunchtime local time, many people were walking through the streets. He stared at the tiny figures bustling beneath the tall buildings.
—By the way, did you two talk things out that day?
The topic suddenly changed. Seok-ho rummaged through the coat he had thrown onto the bed and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.
“Talk about what?”
—About your mother. I told you when we had dinner together that day. The kid looked really shocked.
“I didn’t.”
—Why not? You could’ve stepped up first and comforted him, said it was okay.
“It’s already in the past. What’s the point? If I bring it up, he might just worry about it more.”
—Hm. Should I call that being considerate?
It wasn’t that he was considerate. He simply didn’t want to go into a long explanation about his family history. Without replying, Seok-ho put a cigarette between his lips. Since the room was a non-smoking area, he didn’t light it. He only bit down on the filter between his teeth.
—Anyway, Seok-ho, don’t forget what I told you. You have to get your client’s autograph for me.
He had wondered why Young-wan had bothered to call so late, but of course he had an ulterior motive.
“Done with your business?”
—What do you mean business? I just mentioned it while I was calling.
“I understand you perfectly, so stop repeating yourself. I’m about to get a neurosis.”
—Alright, alright. Anyway, when you come back to Korea, bring back heavy gifts in both hands. Got it? Kang-woo-ssi is probably hoping for that too. Haha.
“Hang up.”
What kind of nonsense are you selling. Ignoring Young-wan’s cheerful laughter, Seok-ho ended the call. Immediately afterward, a message arrived.
[Don’t forget the gift! I’m counting on you. ^^]
What an annoying bastard.
Clicking his tongue, Seok-ho tossed his phone onto the bed. Usually he could just ignore Young-wan’s sly behavior, but this time he couldn’t. He had asked him to take care of something separately before leaving, so he had to tolerate this level of pestering.
The room’s heating system worked well, making it feel a little warm. Seok-ho stripped off his shirt without hesitation. Then he picked up the phone he had thrown aside.
[Have a safe trip.]
He stared quietly at the last message left in the chat.
It was a simple message with only a few words, yet it looked stiff and neat—just like Kim Kang-woo.
Seok-ho turned around and sat on the edge of the bed. Should he at least leave a message saying he arrived safely? He considered it, unusually hesitant, but withdrew his hand after remembering that it was currently the middle of the night in Korea.
***
The situation didn’t change much the next day.
Kang-woo woke up early in the morning and hastily ate some bread for breakfast. As usual, he cooked something for lunch.
Today’s menu was hand-torn potato noodles.
He made the dough for the hand-torn noodle soup and left it to rest in the refrigerator. Then he put a seafood broth pack into a pot and turned on the heat. Once the water started boiling, he added large chunks of potatoes, let them cook for about five minutes, and removed the broth pack. Tearing pieces of dough around the bubbling soup, he added carrots, green onions, and mushrooms in turn.
He had grown used to cooking for two people, so adjusting the portions for just one serving proved harder than expected. After seasoning it with soup soy sauce and pepper, he transferred the finished hand-torn potato noodles into a bowl and sat at the table.
If nothing else, lunch was something he always ate together with Seok-ho.
But today, the seat across from Kang-woo was empty.
“Thank you for the meal.”
Murmuring quietly, Kang-woo picked up his spoon.
In truth, eating alone wasn’t unfamiliar. Back when he lived at his family home, it had been normal to eat by himself.
And even after moving into Seok-ho’s house, he had continued taking care of breakfast and dinner alone.
So there was nothing unfamiliar about this situation at all.
But today, strangely, something felt awkward.
Beyond awkward—there was even a sense of emptiness.
It seemed the nearly two months he had spent living with Seok-ho had influenced Kang-woo far more than he realized.
The hand holding his spoon moved out of obligation. Even as he tried to focus on the fluffy texture of the potatoes, his thoughts kept drifting elsewhere.
If hyung were eating this with me, it would taste even better.
Seok-ho had always enjoyed the dishes he cooked, so he would surely have liked this one as well.
That thought kept circling in Kang-woo’s head for no reason.
For a long while, Kang-woo silently emptied the bowl. Although he had misjudged the portions and felt extremely full, he finished everything without throwing any away. Afterward, he washed the few dishes, tidied up, and spent the rest of his time doing housework and reading.
And just like that, the day passed exactly the same as yesterday.
He had threatened that he would contact Seok-ho often, but when the time came, he couldn’t bring himself to actually do it.
He picked up his phone and searched the time difference. With daylight saving time over, New York was a full fourteen hours behind Korea.
He worried that he might end up bothering him unnecessarily. So after eating lunch, the only thing he did was send a message asking if he had arrived safely—and whether he had eaten dinner.
