Gentle Giant Chapter 90
Dain was also flustered hearing the doctor’s words, but as he listened, it wasn’t wrong either.
One of the reasons hormone-sensitive mothers wanted to find mates quickly was because of heat cycles. It meant that Juho was currently suffering similar pain to them. If that was the case, then as the doctor said, the prescribed medication would also be strong.
Dain’s worry now was about the medication that would be prescribed to Juho.
*Poof*, at the sound of a sigh from beside him, Juho tensed his shoulders. With so many sins committed, it was difficult to speak first.
“Juho.”
“Yes, hyung.”
“It must have been very difficult.”
It was unexpected. Dain simply held Juho’s hand and patted it without saying much else.
Juho’s face became suspicious at Dain’s quieter reaction than expected. Why isn’t he saying anything? His head was full of nothing but suspicion.
Dain was also confused, not knowing where to start the conversation. Should he bring it up when Juho’s health recovered even a little, or should they have the conversation as soon as possible?
This was Dain’s first time in such a serious relationship like the one he had formed with Juho. Every single word had to be careful.
With Dain’s words, silence flowed through the hospital room. They were just holding hands, each harboring different thoughts.
At the end of the long-continued silence, Juho was the first to move.
Juho, who turned his body toward Dain and sat up, moved his lips several times before speaking.
“Hyung, I’m fine now. I think I can just get the medication and be discharged. I’ll talk to the doctor again and get discharged.”
Dain’s eyes widened at Juho’s words. They had just heard together that he should be observed for another day or two, yet he was talking about immediate discharge. It didn’t make sense.
“Why? They said you need to be observed more to see if the medication works well.”
“We planned to go on a trip.”
“What?”
“I was looking forward to it so much, I don’t want to stay in the hospital anymore. Let’s go on our planned trip tomorrow, okay?”
It was a reason he hadn’t thought of.
Dain hadn’t thought about the trip at all since the moment Juho collapsed. But the fact that Juho was actually concerned about the trip meant his earlier thought was right. Because he had been excited about looking forward to the trip, Juho couldn’t even be properly sick. Just because of such words…
Dain glared once at Juho, who was unusually throwing a tantrum, and clenched his mouth shut. Earlier his head had been boiling with guilt, but now his chest was bubbling with anger.
“Juho, wait a minute. Is the trip the problem right now?”
At Dain’s cold question, Juho hesitated for a moment, then forced his lips up into a smile as he answered.
“Then what’s the problem? I’m really fine, so I’m saying I’m fine. Originally hospitals make small things sound big.”
“What are you talking about? Do you want to collapse again?”
“I won’t do that anymore. I’ll get the medication prescribed properly and take good care of myself.”
Juho firmly grasped Dain’s right hand.
Looking at Juho’s hand holding his right hand, Dain took a deep breath. It seemed like the things between them should all be laid out here.
Dain swallowed several times out of fear for what was about to happen.
Until now, Dain hadn’t liked conflicting with other people. Usually, he would endure and let things pass, thinking that what’s good is good, and that would be the end of it. And each time, what he swallowed down accumulated inside.
He had done this in all human relationships he’d had until now, and even when there was a lot to swallow down, it didn’t have any particular effect. They were people for whom he had no expectations or attachments anyway.
But Juho was different. His relationship with him was too painful to just swallow down.
Every time he thought Juho had deceived him, it was obvious he would rot away inside.
Because he was such a big person to him, because if you broke down Jung Dain, he would definitely occupy the largest portion.
Dain slowly removed Juho’s fingers and looked straight into his eyes. They were still such beautiful and wonderful golden pupils. That’s why it was sadder.
“Juho, is that all you have to say to me?”
“…What?”
Juho’s eyes wavered at Dain’s words.
They were pupils that always shone beautifully when looking at him, but now they were endlessly sunken. The corners of his mouth that always turned up when looking at him now had no movement at all. He just seemed to resent him with an expressionless face.
“Juho, it’s not that you always have to tell me only the truth, I know that much too. But among everything you’ve said until now, was there any truth?”
“Hyung!”
At Dain’s calmly continuing words, Juho shouted loudly.
Dain, who would normally have flinched at that call, just looked at Juho without any reaction. It seemed like he couldn’t even hear Juho’s voice.
This kind of Jung Dain was a first, not the usual Jung Dain who always showed gentle expressions, so Juho was suddenly frightened.
Juho grabbed Dain’s hand that he had pulled away again. And pressed it down with incomparably more force than before.
“Ah.”
A pained moan came from Dain’s mouth, but he ignored it. If he let go of his hand here, it felt like Dain would immediately go somewhere. That’s how much an atmosphere of rejecting Juho was flowing from Dain’s entire body.
Looking at Juho’s face full of anxiety, Dain wondered if he had spoken too harshly, but this much was necessary. Only then would Juho show even a little sincerity.
Dain looked pitifully at Juho, who was biting his lips while looking at him. However, he didn’t raise his hand to touch those lips. Not yet.
Feeling heat rising again, Juho thought he’d rather just collapse completely. Then Dain, who had a lot of sympathy, definitely wouldn’t be able to go anywhere leaving him behind. He wanted to hold onto him even that way.
If he told the truth here, he would be confessing that he had lied from beginning to end. If that happened…
Juho’s eyes turned bright red. Even the time spent blinking was precious. He was afraid Dain would abandon him, afraid he would disappear in the time it took to blink.
Moisture gradually filled his bright red pupils. It was a physiological phenomenon, but for the first time in his life, Juho really wanted to cry his heart out.
“Hyung, I…”
His tightly closed lips opened. He was afraid of the words that would come out, but Dain nodded to let him know he was listening.
Seeing Dain’s small nod, a tear finally fell from Juho’s eyes.
Neither of the two wiped away the tear that fell silently and pitifully. The fallen teardrop touched Juho’s hand and spread. Juho’s heart was also spread out in a complete mess.
“At first, when we first talked, I was being lighthearted then. It wasn’t even the same America, and I thought it would end in a few hours, no, a few minutes.”
Juho’s story went back to when he first talked with Dain.
“I thought it would end like that, but hyung asked me for my messenger ID. Then the conversation continued… As time passed, talking with hyung became enjoyable. I really came to like hyung to the point where I couldn’t think straight.”
Juho looked at Dain with a desperate expression as if making a confession. Tears were still falling from his eyes.
“At first, I just wanted to become the friend hyung wanted. Kind like hyung, polite, just like an ordinary friend around… But it wouldn’t work, I absolutely couldn’t be satisfied with just being friends. Because I wanted to be by hyung’s side somehow…”
“…”
“When I hid one thing I had, another would stick out, and I thought hyung would say he didn’t like it if I showed that. So I hid and concealed and covered up the things I had one by one. But as time passed, I became less and less confident about revealing the things I had covered up…”
Juho’s face contorted. Even after saying this much, his heart pounded as if it would burst, wondering what to do if Dain didn’t believe even this. Seeing Dain’s face that didn’t move at all, he wanted to show him everything inside if only he could.
“So.”
Dain, who opened his mouth after a long while, asked.
“So Juho, until when were you planning to hide and cover everything up?”
“That’s…”
Juho couldn’t give an answer and closed his mouth. Because he had no intention of telling Dain at all.
“Hm? Until I found out? If I hadn’t found out… like this for life?”
Even in this situation, he couldn’t deceive Dain. Juho lowered his head and overlapped Dain’s hand with his other hand, binding him even more tightly. Even in this moment of confessing his wrongdoing, he couldn’t let go of Dain.
“I thought you wouldn’t find out. Anyway, the appearance I show hyung is also the real me, so I thought it was okay.”
“Haah…”
A big sigh burst from Dain’s mouth.
So the image of Juho that he had thought was mature, gentle, sincere, afraid of strangers – wondering how he could have so many similarities with himself – was all made up.
He wasn’t even angry. He was just deflated.
Dain wanted to escape this place. He needed time to organize his thoughts.
“I’ll go out for a bit and come back. Rest.”
“I don’t want that.”
As soon as Dain finished speaking, Juho let go of the hand that had been holding Dain. Instead, he stretched out that arm and tightly hugged Dain’s upper body.
Dain, who was suddenly bound not just by his hand but his upper body to Juho, spoke in a flustered voice.
“Juho! Let go of this! I need time to think too!”
“I don’t want to.”
“Lee Juho.”
It was the first time. The first time Dain had called Juho’s name with his surname attached. At this, Juho’s sorrow rose to the very top. The overflowing emotion became tears. The teardrops that had been flowing down his cheeks poured out enough to completely soak his face. Juho cried his heart out completely. He shouted toward Dain, begging him not to go. He buried his face in Dain’s shoulder and panted.
Except for his early childhood that he couldn’t remember, he had never cried like this.
Dain barely reached out his hand and stroked Juho’s back.
“Juho, stop crying. Okay? What if you get sick again doing this!”
“*Sob*, I don’t want to. You’re going to say this and leave. You’re going to abandon me. I don’t want that, I don’t want that.”
“Why, why would I abandon you…! It’s not like that! My head is just complicated, that’s all. Juho, don’t cry.”
The more Dain comforted him, the more unreasonable he became. The strength in his arms was so strong that Dain’s mouth opened involuntarily.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
