Gentle Giant 4

Gentle Giant Chapter 4

Buzz buzz.

How long had he been crouched down? Dain felt a vibration from the phone he was gripping in his hand.

Dain only lowered his eyes to look at his phone. On the phone screen was a message notification from Juho.

“That’s right. Juho…”

Come to think of it, he had been in the middle of talking with Juho when something suddenly came up and their conversation was cut off. Dain quickly pressed on the chat list to reply to Juho.

[Lee Juho: ㅋㅋㅋㅋ So when does hyung’s lecture start?│9:57 AM]

[Lee Juho: Hyung? Why did you read it but not answer :(│10:06 AM]

[Lee Juho: Hyung?? Did your lecture start? I’m about to go out for dinner now, listen well to your lecture and reply when it’s over!│10:14 AM]

[Lee Juho: (Photo)│10:47 AM]

[Lee Juho: I came to eat the salmon that hyung likes! It’s perfect for my taste too! I hope we can eat together next time ㅋㅋㅋ│10:48 AM]

Perhaps remembering the salmon that Dain had mentioned liking in passing, Juho had sent an affectionate message along with a photo of beautifully glistening salmon with a reddish hue.

Thinking of him sending a message saying he wanted to eat together while looking at the salmon Dain liked, even without getting a reply, almost made him want to laugh.

“Hic. Sniff… Sob…”

However, the corners of his mouth that had lifted for a moment quickly slid back down. Dain’s tears fell endlessly onto the appetizing salmon photo, creating stains.

The tears he had held back and endured when people had criticized and insulted him just moments ago finally flowed.

The people right in front of me treat me like I’m invisible and ignore me as if it’s natural, so why is this friend on the other side of the earth, whose face I’ve never even seen, so warm to me?

At that small gesture of care, Dain helplessly crumbled.

And he wanted to confirm it. That this endlessly caring and gentle friend wasn’t just a fantasy he had created for himself. He wanted to believe that somewhere in this world, there existed someone who knew that he truly existed here, that he was alive.

Dropping tears, Dain moved his finger toward the screen.

[10:54 AM│Juho, could you let me hear your voice just once?]

Fixing typos he had made through his tears several times over, he finally managed to send the message.

As soon as Dain sent the message, his phone vibrated with a longer buzz than when receiving messages.

[Juho]

It was a call from Juho. He hadn’t expected him to call right away, so Dain, who had been the one asking to hear his voice, was actually flustered.

Forgetting that he had been crying, worried the call might disconnect, he frantically pressed the answer button.

“H-hello?”

-Dain hyung?

“Juho…?”

-Yes. It’s me, Juho. Hyung, did something happen? So suddenly…

A low but gentle voice came through the phone along with the sound of wind. As if that was some kind of signal, Dain burst into loud sobs.

“Ju-Juho… Juho! Waaaaaah!!”

-Hyung?? You’re crying?? Hyung??

“Waaaaaah!!”

Dain’s accumulated grief exploded.

Doesn’t it say that when there’s someone to comfort you, it becomes even harder to stop crying? That was truly the case. Hearing Juho’s voice, which was clearly trying to soothe him, Dain wailed even louder.

It was several minutes after starting the call before Dain’s crying finally calmed down.

Whether Juho had tremendous patience, he didn’t hang up during all that time and waited for Dain’s crying to stop.

“Ju-Juho… Hic, sorry, sniff, I’m sorry…”

-No, hyung. Don’t worry about me. But are you okay? What happened?

“Actually… I, sniff, had something really… ugh… unfair happen to me… sob, but I’m okay now. Hearing your vo-voice, sniff, I’m okay.”

Dain spoke while sniffling from the runny nose that came with his tears. Even though he was sniffling and his nose was stuffy making him hard to understand, Juho went along with what Dain was saying and continued the conversation.

-Is that so? You must have been really upset, hyung.

“Y-yeah… today, today was a bit much.”

-Hmm, how unfair must it have been for our hyung to cry like this. Should I go and scold those people for you? Smack smack.

“Scold… smack, smack…? Pfft. Juho, you, you’re in New York right now.”

At Juho’s words, spoken in a tone like he was comforting a three-year-old child, a bewildered laugh finally burst from Dain’s mouth.

-Hey, it’s just one plane ride away, you know? If hyung really asked me to scold them, I could do it… But more importantly hyung, did you just laugh??

“Huh? Why…?”

-Hyung, this is serious. They say if you laugh while crying, hair grows there. What should we do?

“Hair grows there…? No, no. Juho you… Hey, don’t tease me!”

-What? I’m not teasing, I’m really worried about hyung’s butt!

“It’s obvious you’re lying…?”

-Oh no, is it that obvious?

Juho’s laughter continued.

For a first phone call, talking felt surprisingly natural.

Now Dain knew for certain. The reason their relationship could be maintained so solidly was thanks to Juho.

Even now, if it weren’t for Juho responding so endlessly gently to his pathetic behavior… going from crying his eyes out to laughing and talking on the phone like this would have been unthinkable.

Though it wasn’t the same Korean soil, Dain felt reassured by the fact that he had a friend who thought of him.

Just moments ago he had felt scared and struggling as if he were alone in the world, but hearing Juho’s voice made everything feel better somehow.

What happened in the lecture hall would be passed from mouth to mouth, getting exaggerated and making Dain’s reputation even worse. Probably starting tomorrow…

Though school life would become more difficult, it wouldn’t be as heartbreaking as today. Because he now had a friend who would give him the warmest comfort in the world when he was struggling.

-Hyung, don’t cry. I’m here for you.

***

Before he knew it, it was 7 AM, and today too he had switched with the morning part-time worker who was 10 minutes late.

Perhaps because it was July, even though it was morning, the sunlight was already beating down strongly. Dain, who was sensitive to heat, flapped his t-shirt as he walked toward the shade.

Though there was no sunlight, the humid air pressed down on Dain just the same, making him tired. A 15-minute walk. Even though it was just walking that short distance, his steps gradually slowed.

When he finally dragged his heavy feet and arrived at his studio apartment, he felt a vibration from the phone in his pocket. It was a call from Juho.

“Oh, Juho. Did your lecture end?”

-Yes, hyung! I’m heading home now. How was work today?

“Mmm, today was four times! The least in a week! And there weren’t any drunk customers picking fights either?”

Dain’s voice answering Juho’s question was unusually excited.

From Dain’s perspective, he had good reason to be. On average, he witnessed customers being startled when they saw him about 6 times a day while working, but today it was only 4 times. He felt good. He said he hoped that tomorrow the number would decrease to 3 times.

-That’s right. Tomorrow it’ll decrease to three times.

“Yeah, thanks! Having you say that gives me more strength.”

-I’m glad it gives hyung strength. Mmm… but no matter how much I think about it, it’s strange. Why do people get startled seeing hyung’s face?

“…Huh? Of-of course they get startled! Even I would be startled if I suddenly saw my face in the early morning hours…?”

-Hey, what’s wrong with hyung’s face! It was just cute though.

“Ju-Juho. I told you yesterday too, but you shouldn’t tell lies like that.”

-It’s true, hyung. I’m saying this because I’ve properly seen hyung’s face now!

“That’s exactly why, why would someone who knows my face say something like that.”

Even though no one was listening to their phone conversation, Dain’s face turned red from embarrassment. And without realizing it, he turned his head to look closely at his own face reflected in a shop window.

Dull ashen hair that was neither black nor gray. Skin that was definitely swarthy compared to other people. Eyes that were just slits without double eyelids, too small to meet the average of others no matter how wide he opened them. Thin, bloodless lips and a small mouth with downturned corners that made him look depressed.

No matter if he rolled forward, rolled backward, or even did a headstand to look, it was a face where you couldn’t find anything cute at all. Rather, it would fit right in on a wanted poster…

The more Dain looked at his own face, the more depressed he became.

If he had to find something even slightly round, it would be the tip of his nose at the end of his long nose bridge.

Did Juho only see this nose tip in my photo? Somehow it seemed possible that kind Juho might have done that.

Dain gently rubbed his slightly sweaty round nose tip.

-Hyung?? Are you listening to what I’m saying?

“Huh?? No, I was just thinking about something else for a moment… What did you say?”

-I asked if you could send me another photo of yourself, hyung.

“Uh… my, my photo?! I sent you one the day before yesterday!”

Startled, Dain quickly answered.

As Dain said, the two had exchanged photos the day before yesterday, which was 2 months and 15 days since they started talking on the phone. To be precise, only Dain’s photo had been sent to Juho.

***

Dain was on his way home after finishing work, just like any other time.

That day too, as always, Dain talked about his worries, saying people got startled when they saw him, and Juho listened to that story and comforted Dain with gentle words.

But unusually that day, different from usual, Juho asked how scary hyung could look to cause such reactions and asked to see a photo.

As soon as Dain heard those words, he jumped up saying absolutely not.

His thinking was that he had been able to maintain steady contact with Juho until now because they only exchanged voices and messages.

No matter how kind and patient Juho was, if he saw Dain’s face, his affection might completely disappear.

Normally, at Dain’s refusal, Juho would immediately say he understood, but that day Juho was stubborn to the end. He said he wanted to see Dain’s face and even used an aegyo-tinged voice that he had never used before.

Of course, it was natural that Dain, completely won over by that voice, couldn’t refuse twice and sent the photo.

Dain, who usually hated taking photos and didn’t even have a single selfie, ended up taking his very first selfie under harsh fluorescent lighting. Very honestly.

Natural expressions and angles that made faces look smaller weren’t programmed into Dain’s head.

Click.

The cheerful camera shutter sound rang out, and the face of a man who looked like he might commit crimes appeared on his phone.

Without even considering the option of retaking it, after worrying 100 times whether he should send this or not, Dain’s finger pressed the ‘send’ button.

Waiting for Juho’s reply with a trembling heart for 5 minutes. Even though the ‘read’ indicator appeared, there was no reply from Juho.