#51
***
Persis followed behind me more compliantly than I expected. The sound of his confident footsteps bothered me. Persis surely must know what kind of trouble he could get into because of this. Despite knowing full well, he still did it anyway. That’s what bothered me. How exactly did he plan to deal with the consequences?
As soon as we reached a quiet corridor where other students and teachers wouldn’t pass by, I stopped walking and spoke abruptly.
“Cancel it.”
“Cancel what?”
“Participating in the seminar is dangerous. Just say that we’re still students and not qualified enough…”
“So why should I cancel it?”
Persis asked me again, even though he clearly knew why I was acting this way. The more he pretended not to understand, the more frustrated I became.
“You know why. If something goes wrong, it could be dangerous.”
“Dangerous? For what reason?”
Persis tilted his head to the side as if he genuinely didn’t understand. When he actually played dumb like this, my breath caught and I didn’t know what to say. Could he really not know? No, that was impossible. This was Persis we’re talking about. He wasn’t the type of man who couldn’t grasp even this level of political maneuvering.
“The other royal family members won’t leave you alone. I don’t know what kind of sanctions they might impose.”
“What kind of sanctions? Even royalty are students here. This is just students conducting academic research.”
“You’re not just an ordinary student!”
Even though we were in school, there was no telling when danger might arise. If Persis hadn’t been a prince with a lower rank in the line of succession, he wouldn’t have been able to enroll in school at all. That’s how much royalty had to consider their personal safety.
With dangers already lurking everywhere, there was no need to approach them voluntarily.
“It could become dangerous.”
I didn’t want Persis to be in danger. I wanted Persis, like Iria, to live a life free from threats, a life just for the two of them. I could handle the difficult tasks. It might be a bit tough, but that much was fine. However, I couldn’t help with matters involving royalty like this one.
If possible, I wished Persis would be more careful, but this prince had put himself in danger, and I didn’t know what to do.
“I’ll take care of my own safety. It’s not something for Ana to worry about.”
I don’t know why words that I would have accepted bitterly but naturally just minutes ago now sounded so hurtful. To be more precise, I felt a little angry.
Despite telling me not to concern myself with his business, hadn’t Persis helped me on numerous occasions? I knew it was just kindness he would show to anyone, but the fact that he could worry about me while telling me not to worry about him seemed too unfair. That thought came to mind first.
“What about you then?”
“…What?”
“Why do you help me? If that’s the case, you shouldn’t help me either! You can do it, but I can’t? Why? Why can’t I? When I say I’m worried about you, why do you say I can’t be?”
A stream of heated words poured out. Persis seemed not to have expected me to speak so boldly, as he wore a slightly dazed expression.
There was no time to quietly observe Persis as he tried to adapt. The teacher might have already contacted the seminar organizers to schedule time for a new presentation. Thinking we needed to cancel it as quickly as possible, I grabbed Persis’s collar.
When I shook it a few times demandingly, Persis’s face, which had been empty of spirit, flushed red then pale. He didn’t seem pleased that I had grabbed his clothes. However, I had no intention of letting go until he agreed to cancel.
After silently watching what I was doing, Persis let out a defeated sigh and placed his hand over mine. Thinking he might push me away, I gripped a little tighter. Then the hand that had been resting on top of mine gently took hold of it.
Only when I felt the warmth from his hand did I realize what I had done. Startled, I hastily pulled my hand away. The realization that I had done something completely inappropriate washed over me like a wave. Suddenly, I remembered Kara’s advice to be careful because, despite my appearance, I often acted on emotion.
Kara, I think I’ve ruined things again today.
“S-so, don’t do dangerous things.”
I stammered, but there was no way to take back what had already happened. Persis’s gaze wouldn’t leave me. I wanted nothing more than to run away quickly, but I couldn’t move until I heard him say he would cancel the seminar. All I could do was lower my head.
“Ana.”
I heard him calling me.
“Look up.”
When his gently resonating voice lingered in my ears, I couldn’t help but raise my head as if entranced. I saw Persis, a little closer than before. His face, which had appeared angry, had returned to its usual complexion.
“It won’t become dangerous over something like this. My position isn’t that precarious. If there’s a benefit for me, it’s a benefit, not a loss. I don’t do things that would become disadvantageous unless it’s truly a special case. I’m not young enough to act recklessly without knowing my position.”
Someone like Persis was still young. In his late teens, he was at an age where he should be under adult protection. I wanted to believe him, but I knew all too well how dangerous this world could be.
“I’ll be fine. I can protect myself. So instead of worrying about me, take care of yourself.”
Once again, a surge of emotion rose inside me. Persis and I had different statuses. Between a mere young noble and a prince of the empire, who would face more threats? The answer was already clear.
Just as I was about to say I didn’t want to do that, Persis smiled softly. It wasn’t as broad as when he used to call my name and smile widely when we were young, but the curve that settled on his lips was extremely gentle and warm.
“I like it when you call me Persis. Call me that normally too.”
It felt like the heat that had risen to the top of my head instantly vanished. I couldn’t say anything, just stupidly moving my lips without making a sound.
Persis stepped away from me and erased the smile that had adorned his face. Standing straight and looking at me, Persis was the cold person I knew. The smile he had just shown seemed like a dream.
“If you’re really worried, we can adjust the level of the presentation. There are many ways, so don’t worry too much. I’ll handle it.”
Having drawn a clear line, Persis turned his back on me. Unable to either follow or stop him, I watched as Persis walked away.
I couldn’t understand what I had just seen. To bewitch someone like that and then just leave. It was surprising that I couldn’t add even one more word to say it wasn’t okay.
Groaning, I sat down right there. My legs felt a bit weak. With my face buried in my knees, I tried to cool the heat that had risen to my face. Kara had told me so many times not to be swept away by emotions, but foolish me had forgotten her precious advice again.
Just as I was about to get up with a small sigh, I heard someone’s voice.
“Are you okay?”
Startled, I looked up to find Iria standing there.
Had she heard the conversation between Persis and me? I stood up abruptly, flustered.
“Ah, sorry. I thought if you two were fighting, I should intervene… but I couldn’t tell when to step in. I’m sorry.”
Iria’s voice was like a confirmation shot. She had heard and seen everything. My shouting, Persis’s bewilderment, even that moment when he smiled at me.
Suddenly, a wave of embarrassment washed over me. It felt like I had exposed my vulnerabilities to the last person I wanted to see them. I didn’t want to show my inadequate, emotionally swayed self to Iria of all people… My first thought was that I had really ruined everything.
“By the way, are you and Persis really close?”
“…Pardon?”
Iria’s words hit me in the head. I couldn’t understand what I had just heard.
I had tried so hard to distance myself from Persis, and now who was close to whom? What did she mean?
“We’re not close.”
“That’s different from what Senior Rikin said?”
I wonder where and how that person goes around talking. I don’t know what he said to make Iria think that way. Persis had helped me a few times, but we had never shown any friendly behavior in front of Iria.
Even while preparing for the assignment, I had kept my distance from them, fearing I would interfere with Iria and Persis. I was merely a supporting character helping them from behind. I occasionally got involved in the main story’s flow, but I didn’t want to occupy a central position in their lives.
“I don’t know what you heard, but we’re not that familiar with each other.”
“I heard you were friends before. Is that why you cared so much today?”
“That’s…”
It was because I couldn’t just stand by and watch Persis go ahead recklessly.
I recalled how I had acted on emotion. Certainly, it was a situation where Iria could misunderstand. Running up to talk to him as soon as class ended, even urging him to cancel the seminar because things could go wrong. It looked like something that couldn’t be done unless we were close.
“Or maybe it’s not Persis, but Andelion who cares that much about him?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
