Jung Haon’s eyelashes trembled faintly. He wore the expression of someone whose most guarded secret had just been exposed. Even though he knew this would only make Seo Inho more suspicious, his quivering pupils simply refused to calm down.
“T-That… I-I was going to tell you, but…”
He barely managed to open his mouth before a cough burst out uncontrollably. Missing his chance to explain, Haon squeezed his eyes shut as he coughed dryly. His throat felt as if it were being torn apart. The pounding of his heart climbed up his throat, making the pain even worse.
“I-Inho-ssi…”
At that moment, Inho suddenly rose from the bed. Haon instinctively grabbed onto Inho’s clothes to hold him back. Unable to speak due to the relentless coughing, he pleaded with his eyes, desperately asking Inho not to leave.
“I’m just going to get some water.”
Reading Haon’s gaze, Inho gently brushed his trembling shoulders. Even though he said he’d be right back, Haon refused to let go of his clothes, prompting Inho to add a softer smile. Only then did Haon’s hand, which had been clutching the hem of Inho’s clothes, finally loosen its grip.
“Stay lying down. Don’t try to get up.”
When Inho spoke with a warm smile, Haon covered his mouth and gave a small, slow nod. Yet, the fear still clouding his round eyes didn’t lessen in the slightest.
What on earth was making Haon shrink away like this? Hiding the ache in his chest behind a smile, Inho left the bedroom.
He went down to the kitchen, poured some warm water, and gently ladled a bit of finely ground rice porridge into a bowl, setting it on a tray. Since Haon probably couldn’t eat much yet, he didn’t bother preparing anything else. Although he wanted nothing more than to feed the now even thinner Haon a hearty meal, he knew he couldn’t force it.
Shaking off the heavy helplessness with a light-hearted chuckle, he headed back to Haon.
Haon was sitting at the edge of the bed with his feet planted on the floor, as if he were about to stand up at any moment. He was waiting for Inho in that tense posture.
“Think you can manage a little of this?”
Inho let a small smile curve his lips at the sight. As he approached, holding the bowl out for Haon to see, Haon hurriedly nodded. Without even glancing at the contents, Haon kept his gaze locked solely on Inho’s face and gave his answer.
“I-It was… someone I met during my first heat.”
Holding the glass of water Inho handed him, Haon spoke in a cracked, shaky voice. He didn’t even think to drink it, focusing instead on hurriedly moving his lips to explain. His face was filled with overwhelming urgency.
“Back then, it was my first time, so… I was completely overwhelmed. I didn’t even know what questions I was supposed to ask.”
Haon paused for a moment, blinking rapidly as he fell deep into thought. It seemed like his words were getting tangled inside him.
Frustrated, he let out a small sigh and, out of habit, raised his hand to smack his own forehead. Inho caught his wrist—the one holding the glass—gently, urging him instead to take a sip first.
“You can take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
Tears welled up in Haon’s eyes before he took a few small breaths to calm himself, then finally brought the glass to his lips. Even as he drank, his gaze remained firmly attached to Inho.
Inho leaned in even closer, bringing his knees to touch Haon’s as he gazed at him intently. Even though he had already promised not to go anywhere, Haon still reached out and lightly grabbed the cuff of Inho’s sleeve.
“I didn’t know he was married… I swear…”
Haon rambled, insisting that if he had known, he never would have stayed at the motel.
“I-I mean, it’s true… that I was the one who approached him first, but…”
Flushing deep red all the way up to his ears, Haon rubbed his face with both hands and cast his gaze downward. He figured Inho must already know everything after meeting that man. Knowing what kind of person he was, Haon was sure the man had twisted the story—or even made things up outright. He was certainly capable of it.
But above all else, even if only the truth was told, Haon still couldn’t claim innocence.
“It really was sudden… the heat came on so fast…”
It had been his first time. He had only just come up to Seoul and was still overwhelmed by everything unfamiliar when the strangest reaction erupted from within his own body. At the time, he genuinely thought he might die. His body burned hot, and a gnawing hunger twisted in his gut so fiercely it felt like he was being ripped apart inside. He remembered grabbing onto the first person he could find, begging them to save him.
That much, he could still recall.
“He probably didn’t… even want to do it with me, either…”
While Haon spoke in a small voice, Inho, who had been quietly listening, gently pulled down Haon’s hand from his face. Then, without a word, he interlaced their fingers together, gripping Haon’s hands tightly with both of his own.
“I really didn’t know… Please, believe me…”
Haon kept mumbling in a trembling voice. Though the same phrases circled over and over, Inho only listened silently, without interruption.
“I’ll never let something like that happen again…”
Haon finished in a small, unsteady voice and clutched Inho’s hands even tighter. He was terrified that Inho might grow disgusted and leave. Unable to meet his eyes, Haon stared down at the blanket, drawing in long, shaky breaths.
“Have you told me everything?”
Soon, Inho broke the silence and asked softly.
Hearing the gentle tone, Haon pressed his lips tightly together and gave a firm nod. He had already laid everything bare—there was nothing more he could say.
“Haon-ssi.”
But Inho wasn’t finished listening yet.
Calling his name tenderly, Inho reached out and lightly tilted up Haon’s delicate chin with his fingers. He did it to meet Haon’s eyes, but even with his chin raised, Haon kept averting his gaze.
“Why didn’t you tell me that bastard hurt you?”
At Inho’s next words, Haon finally looked at him.
“That’s the only thing that matters to me.”
Haon’s eyes, fixed on Inho, quickly brimmed with tears. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, unable to form a single word, swallowing down wet, trembling breaths instead. Right now, he couldn’t even speak.
“I don’t care whether he was married, or had kids, or whatever.”
Inho caressed Haon’s cheek, then kissed his tearful eyes and fevered forehead, one after the other.
“That bastard hurt you. That’s what you should be telling me.”
At the tender whisper, Haon’s tears finally broke free. His lips quivered violently as he threw his arms around Inho’s waist, burying his face against his chest.
“I was the one… who said I wanted it… I begged him, I asked him, please…”
Hidden within Inho’s embrace, Haon confessed everything that had been hurled at him by the alphas.
How they had sneered, “You’re the one who begged for it, we only did it because you asked us to.”
He had heard it so many times that it had burrowed deep into his bones.
He built up a wall around his pain, making sure no one could ever blame anyone else for it.
“B-Because I was… sick… that’s why they said it happened….”
That was what made Haon’s sorrow swell uncontrollably—an ache he hadn’t even been consciously aware of until now.
Haon continued, trembling, describing in a tearful voice how the alphas had treated him so harshly. How they had shouted at him in terrifying tones, and how, even after the heat had ended, they hadn’t allowed him to return home. The mountain of wounds he carried was so immense that he barely paused for breath as he poured everything out.
Haon unleashed all of his emotions onto Inho. Yet somehow, every confession inevitably circled back to blaming himself, as if by habit.
“I-It’s true… hic… I said I wanted it, but…”
“No. It’s all bullshit.”
Inho leaned close to Haon’s ear and whispered firmly, hugging Haon’s frail body as tightly as he could. He said nothing more for a while, only patting Haon’s trembling back gently.
Haon’s muffled, pitiful whimpers from within his arms were so heart-wrenching that even Inho’s own eyes grew hot and misty.
“Do you know how hard you fought… with everything you had, just to push them away?”
Inho whispered again, tenderly stroking the back of Haon’s head. He told him how, even in the midst of losing his senses, Haon had instinctively continued to resist the alphas.
He should have told Haon sooner.
“Those bastards were the ones in the wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong, Haon-ssi.”
By trying too hard to protect Haon, by holding back his words in fear of hurting him further, Inho had only allowed those wounds to fester. Some things simply couldn’t be healed by silence alone.
“Did I… push you away too, Inho-ssi…?”
Listening quietly to Inho’s comforting words, Haon slowly lifted his face.
Inho nodded, gently wiping away the tears caught in Haon’s long eyelashes, continuing to explain softly.
“You didn’t even want to cross the threshold. I had to drag you in through the front door. It was the same with the others too, probably.”
Haon looked genuinely stunned at this revelation. His face turned blank for a moment before he leaned his cheek against Inho’s hand, the one still gently wiping away his tears. His shoulders, which had been tense and trembling, finally drooped, the tension melting away.
Inho carefully laid Haon’s face down onto the pillow and adjusted his posture, stretching out his arms and legs properly. Then he sat down at the head of the bed and continued gently wiping away the lingering tears on Haon’s cheeks, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“Want some water?”
Haon shook his head and parted his now-reddened lips slightly.
“……”
He hesitated as if to say something, but in the end, he only reached out and grasped Inho’s hand tightly. No more tears fell.
Covering Haon carefully with the blanket, Inho pointed to the tray placed on the nightstand. He asked silently with his eyes if Haon might be able to eat a little porridge. But again, Haon shook his head.
“Then what do you want?”
Inho asked, sensing that Haon clearly needed something.
“I’ll give you anything. Anything at all.”
Haon gazed at him with wide, earnest eyes—eyes that were full of longing for something. If it wasn’t water, and it wasn’t food…
Then what could it be?
Inho kissed Haon, telling him he could ask for anything he wanted. At the same moment, Haon wrapped his arms around Inho’s neck.
Instead of answering with words, Haon responded with his body. He needed nothing else—only Inho.
Haon pulled Inho down by the neck and was the first to dive in, parting Inho’s lips without hesitation with the tip of his tongue, tracing along the seam before sweeping across the roof of his mouth.
Inho, who had been sitting at the head of the bed, slowly let his body lean down onto the mattress.
Haon desperately licked and tangled his tongue with Inho’s, greedily inhaling the air from his mouth, as if trying to fill his starving heart with Inho himself.
“Inho-ssi…”
Haon’s breath came fast and shallow as he bumped his nose against Inho’s, locking eyes with him.
Inho kept his eyes open the whole time, not wanting to miss a single moment of Haon’s expression as he kissed him first.
In those deep, dark pupils, Haon’s flushed, fevered face was reflected.
“I want you.”
Haon confessed with raw sincerity, praying that his feelings would reach him.
