Excessively Coercive 40

“I’ll go. With Andrea-ssi.”

“You’ve thought well.”

“I’ll go with you.”

Not continuing with the rest of his words was an excellent choice. Ran was indeed intelligent. Andrea gladly bestowed mercy.

“When we arrive at our home. I’ll arrange for Bjorn to be free then too.”

Though he threatened Ran by holding Bjorn’s lifeline, in truth, Andrea wanted a Ran who wouldn’t be swayed even if threatened with Bjorn. Even Andrea was not free from such a dilemma. Knowing this, Ran, who couldn’t speak Bjorn’s name, took Andrea’s hand and stepped out of the hospital together. Though he stopped walking when the familiar car came into view, it didn’t last long. He moved his legs with difficulty. The walk to the front of the car was no different from steps toward the guillotine.

“Get in, Ran.”

Sitting on the seat is like having one’s neck caught, and the closing of the car door is the sound of a blade closing. Ran, whose throat was cut and couldn’t bleed, shed tears.

Snow continued to fall. As if trying to cover this small city entirely in white, it fell without pause, covering the ground, covering roofs, and yet when it clung to the car windows that he and Andrea were in, it simply slid down. With so much snow falling, was there none to bury him? Ran, who was unconsciously tracing the window with his hand, met Andrea’s eyes reflected in the glass. He was observing whatever Ran did.

Since they were in the car anyway, he could do anything.

“Huu… mph… ngh.”

So Ran continued his eccentricity. Crying, looking outside, and by the time they were leaving the city, he cried with suppressed sounds. Andrea quietly watched all of this, but when Ran tried to hit his stomach with his own hand, he grabbed his wrist to stop him. His bony wrist was like an aspen trembling in the wind. Andrea covered his shoulders with a prepared blanket, but Ran shook his head and clung to him. Ran, who didn’t even have the strength to push away the single blanket placed on him, spilled over toward Andrea.

“I was wrong. I was… wrong.”

“Ran hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“Won’t you please just let me go?”

“You can leave me anytime. Like today.”

“Please… please, let me go. Please. Please just let me go.”

This was the first time he had wailed like this. The watching eyes narrowed.

“It was all my fault. I’m sorry. Really… really, I was wrong. So, please, j-just once… let me go. Please. I’m begging you. Please let me go. Just let me go. Let me go. I’ll live without ever appearing before your eyes again. Please let me go…”

Finding sins he hadn’t even committed and begging for forgiveness, pouring out the resentment that had been pooled all along, pleading. Ran’s tears, as he cried and clung with his last ounce of strength, momentarily shook Andrea’s heart. Looking at the tears that flowed endlessly from his bloodshot eyes, Andrea felt even his own eyes growing hot.

“Ran.”

And not stopping at just growing hot, tears fell. When he was sad, Andrea was sad too. He couldn’t help but be sad. With such love. How could the sadness of a loved one not be sad?

“All the tears that Ran has shed, I always remember them. The only person I pity is Ran alone.”

It’s painful and sad. A fragile omega who despairs even at his own tears. Each time he saw his tears, Andrea thought. If he were two people, the other half would desperately try to save Ran Icanoth from himself.

“Hu… keungh, uu… uuungh…”

After saving him, he would end up taking him anyway.

There is no other ending.

“The fact that I feel this emotion means that I really do love you.”

“Please, please… I hate this, now, no, no more. I hate it.”

Ran’s teardrops seemed to scream, asking if they would inevitably make him, who was already wounded and broken by Andrea, even more painful. Andrea didn’t turn away from this sight and stored it forever in the deepest and most secret place of his memory. So he could take it out from his mind anytime. Forever. Both Ran Icanoth and this moment. Here.

“What can I do? You appeared before me first.”

The alpha, who had never regretted it since fully possessing his love, whispered softly.

He simply wanted to hold his omega’s entire life in his palm. Even while heartbroken and shedding tears together, the essence ultimately didn’t change from that. While repeatedly pressing his lips to the cold, trembling hands, he answered with tears.

You cannot escape me.

So stay here.

Forever. At least until the moment before one person’s breath ceases.

“Ah, ah… ngh…”

Pleading turns into wailing. Andrea was like a long, high wall that could never be overcome, not collapsing even when pounded, and when scratched with hands, it only scraped away one’s own flesh. Ran had to accept that this was the reality he had to embrace. It wasn’t a particularly difficult thing.

At the end of sadness lies resignation.

It was a natural formula.

Like the flow of time that passed while Ran approached resignation, the time afterward also flows cruelly. One month, two months, until it became four months. In proportion to the gradually swelling stomach that hadn’t even properly gained flesh, resistance was also diminishing. The only resistance that still remained was that Ran wouldn’t look at Andrea.

“Your hands are cold. Don’t stay near the window for too long.”

“…”

“Since it’s blocked anyway, you can’t open it and fall.”

Even if he occasionally answered when spoken to, Ran refused to look at Andrea. When he was nearby, he closed his eyes or lowered his head. It was an expression of his wish that Andrea would at least not be visible. One day, looking outside the glass, he said such words.

“I want to be buried in snow and die.”

Andrea noticed the hidden meaning in those words but didn’t say anything.

And as expected, unable to completely give up, Ran ran away once more with his full-term body. It was around six months after his first escape. Andrea’s impression of this was monotonous.

If only you had left yesterday instead of today.

Today was cooler than yesterday. Isn’t it not a good weather in many ways for going out? Andrea, thinking while looking out the window, got up from his seat. This time, there was no need to make a big fuss. Because he didn’t want thoughts of Bjorn to linger in Ran’s mind for a while by deliberately touching on Bjorn.

Andrea just had to become a hunter and quietly pursue his omega who had fled leaving bloodstains. There was no need to act too hastily. It wasn’t bad to enjoy this situation a little.

Carefully, carefully, muffling his footsteps while tracing Ran’s traces. Weakened, he couldn’t flee far and wandered the city alone. Finding Ran in less than an hour, Andrea unconsciously held a smile on his lips.

You can’t go anywhere now.

Watching from afar as footsteps that had lost their destination wandered aimlessly, Andrea was certain. That his pitiful love had no place left to flee to, nor did he have the strength for it. He was a lost child. A person who had nowhere to return to except for him. The one who wandered the same place like an animal performing stereotypic behavior and silently screamed was incredibly lovable.

“…Finally, you look back at me.”

Ran, who had been taking steps without a destination, stopped upon seeing the familiar car. Therefore, all Andrea had to do was wait for Ran to enter the car and count how many tear streaks passed over his white cheeks.

One.

Two.

Three. Four.

Standing in front of the car, five.

Sitting on my lap, six.

“My love.”

“…”

Ran didn’t answer. Andrea, who deeply loved even his despair, wiped away his tears and whispered.

“Today, we met faster than before. Right?”

(Excessively Coercive – End)

Excessively Coercive

Author: Hyacinthus B

Hyacinthus