Chapter 37
“……”
“You were standing there with an expression that said you’d already decided everything. Did you ever intend to discuss it with me?”
“…When your husband doesn’t even ask if you’re okay for ten days, should I be smiling?”
Cheong-yeon barely composed his breathing and lifted his head.
“You told me not to come in. You said you didn’t want to see anyone, right? You were the one who locked yourself in that room.”
Do-heon coldly rebuked, as if this was all Cheong-yeon’s fault.
Cheong-yeon’s breath quickened with intensifying emotions, but he tried his best to act unaffected as he glared at Do-heon.
“So you couldn’t check on me even once? Was it that difficult to ask how my body was, how I was feeling? If that’s what being a husband means, how is it any different from a complete stranger?”
“If you wanted something, you should have said so. From what you’re saying, it sounds like you’re telling me the opposite of what you want and expecting me to figure it out.”
“Do I have to spell out every single thing! Do you only respond when explicitly told? Even for such basic concern? If the situation were reversed, I would never have left you alone. Never. Well, that’s…”
Cheong-yeon’s voice gradually lost strength.
“I guess it comes down to feelings. No matter what I did or how I felt, you, Moon Do-heon, simply didn’t care.”
And Cheong-yeon was overcome with despair.
“I’m sick of the limitations of your affection. That’s why I wanted a divorce, because I didn’t want to beg anymore. So why are you stirring things up now? What more do you want us to do by living together…”
The more he talked with him, the more painful it became, like a burning sensation inside. Cheong-yeon rubbed his face and quickly added:
“Did you suddenly start liking me? Or do you still feel so sorry for me because of my father’s situation that you want to take me in?”
“……”
“Answer me. I really want to know.”
Despite Cheong-yeon’s urging, a deep silence fell. Their gazes clashed intensely, as if neither would back down first.
After a moment, Do-heon opened his mouth.
“Both.”
Hearing his answer, the corner of Cheong-yeon’s mouth twitched.
“You’re truly the worst.”
The rationality he had barely been holding onto flew away. Cheong-yeon roughly grabbed the shopping bag on the console.
“This ring? You bought it for me? Who do you take for a fool!”
And he threw the shopping bag to the floor. The sound of the case hitting the floor resonated heavily.
“Did you think if you lied to someone who was practically dying, telling them this was actually a gift for me, I would cry and thank you gratefully like before?”
Cheong-yeon’s body began to tremble uncontrollably from the violent emotions overwhelming him. His head felt like it was about to split open, and it was as if flames were blazing inside his solar plexus.
Cheong-yeon glared at him as if he could kill him, then seeing Do-heon’s face—still calm to the point of being devoid of any emotion—he turned and left the room. He felt there was no more value in talking to him.
“Yoo Cheong-yeon! Where are you going?”
Do-heon immediately followed and tried to grab Cheong-yeon’s arm.
“Let go! Let go of me! Don’t touch even a hair on my body. Don’t touch me without permission! I can’t stand the sight of you! Please, just leave me alone!”
Cheong-yeon shook off his arm, yelling so loudly it could be heard on the floor below.
His heart raced and his extremities turned cold from the boiling anger. Cheong-yeon hated himself for repeatedly failing to control his emotions like this, and resented Do-heon who never raised his voice but always managed to push him to the edge.
At Cheong-yeon’s scream, which sounded almost like a shriek, Do-heon raised both hands as if to show he had no intention of threatening him.
Not missing the opportunity, Cheong-yeon began descending the stairs without hesitation. But he misstepped, causing his body to tilt forward momentarily.
Do-heon, who was following him down the stairs, caught Cheong-yeon and prevented him from falling.
“It’s dangerous to leave like this. I’ll drive you home.”
Cheong-yeon shook off his hand once more and headed to the first floor without saying anything. Not wanting to show him his crying face, he gritted his teeth and held back tears.
Only upon reaching the front door did the tears he had been holding back suddenly stream down his cheeks.
“I will drive you home, sir.”
“……”
“Even if you don’t want to, please consider your safety and get in.”
The attendant who had primarily handled Cheong-yeon’s errands and driving until the divorce suddenly appeared and blocked Cheong-yeon’s path. At the kind, persuasive voice, Cheong-yeon lowered his head. And he covered his already soaked eyes.
The perceptive attendant naturally opened the car door and helped Cheong-yeon sit down.
He pretended not to see Cheong-yeon crying and sat in the driver’s seat.
“Hic… hic. Ugh.”
Although he knew he needed to provide his address to depart, only sobs came out of his mouth.
No matter how much he wiped his tears with the back of his hand, his vision remained blurry. Like being deeply submerged in the sea.
He thought he was completely over it, but he wasn’t. He was still hurt and helplessly swayed by Do-heon.
Perhaps his hangover was returning, as a headache began to surge. Cheong-yeon buried himself in the car seat and bit his lower lip to stop crying.
He wanted to be as cold as Do-heon, but the more he tried to imitate him, the greater the sorrow that washed over him, making him feel pathetic.
*
“Your eyes… what happened to make them look like that?”
Manager Kim Kyung-seop examined Cheong-yeon’s swollen eyes with awe.
The state of Cheong-yeon, who had rushed to the agency office after Kim Kyung-seop said he had something urgent to discuss from the morning, looked deeply troubled to anyone who saw him.
Already having trouble seeing clearly, Cheong-yeon rubbed his eyes and checked his face on his phone screen.
“I don’t know. I got bitten by mosquitoes.”
“You drank and cried your eyes out.”
“……”
Kim Kyung-seop stared at the ceiling as if he knew it all, then hung his head low.
“You claim you’re going to make a living with your face, but you take care of yourself like this? You never know when and where you might get cast.”
“…I’m sorry.”
Manager Kim Kyung-seop’s words were right. There was no room for excuses—it was his fault for not taking care of himself. Cheong-yeon bowed his head, acknowledging his mistake.
Even with the heat cycle, to have sex and then drink excessively the next day, and then cry until exhaustion the day after that—it was quite a spectacle in many ways.
Even to himself, it seemed like he had forgotten his position as a rookie actor and acted impulsively all weekend. Looking at his swollen face now, he was struck anew by the importance of self-care.
“What exactly happened? Huh?”
Cheong-yeon had nothing to say to Kim Kyung-seop’s interrogation. He had no excuses to offer, even if he had ten mouths.
He resolved that in the future, he would either take appropriate medication during his heat cycle or endure the discomfort on his own. After all, last Saturday he couldn’t see his grandmother, his body was a mess—could things get any worse?
“I’m sorry. I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but something truly overwhelming happened…”
“Cheong-yeon. You said you wanted to be an actor. Idols might have been able to cover up with heavy makeup and stage lighting, but actors can’t. Everything shows, right down to your pores.”
“But these days, they do skin corrections for dramas and movies too…”
“Do you know how expensive that is? They barely spend that money on the lead actors—do you think they’ll do that painstaking work for you too?”
Kim Kyung-seop shouted in frustration. This was a familiar sight from the DEX days, so it wasn’t particularly threatening. Despite his words, he was rather soft-hearted.
“I’m sorry. I’ll get my act together now. But it’s not like I have any roles coming in right now. There aren’t even any auditions…”
“A script has come in, that’s why I’m so worked up, worked up!”
Cheong-yeon, who had been crouching like a criminal, lifted his head abruptly.
“Really?”
Did that mean a script had come for him? Or for the agency?
Either way, it was pure gain for him if an opportunity was given. Cheong-yeon’s swollen eyes opened clearly, if only for a very brief moment.
It seems he made the right decision signing with this agency. Despite its small size, they were bringing in work opportunities. Compared to his previous situation where even getting audition opportunities was difficult, this was incredibly thankful.
“But what kind of role is it?”
Cheong-yeon was confident he could work hard even if the role was that of a passing homeless person.
“Ahem. Don’t be surprised. This is quite a good role.”
Kim Kyung-seop lowered his voice seriously and leaned in close to Cheong-yeon. In response, Cheong-yeon also perked up his ears.
He was curious what role could make him so confident. Maybe not quite a homeless person, but perhaps a minor merchant?
“What is it? What’s making you act like this?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
