#059
Gentle palms cupped my cheeks and carefully lifted my head. Each time our eyes met closely and he called “Ranho,” I had to tense my lips to prevent the question of who exactly I had given that bouquet to from bursting out.
If only I had answered “yes” when Woo Dohwan, who honestly said he liked me, asked if I liked him back, then at least I could have openly shown the emotions I was feeling now. But here I was, having given no proper answer and vaguely avoided the topic, yet anxiously worrying about whether he had passed along the flowers I gave him to someone else—I felt utterly pathetic.
As I received the touch stroking my moist eyes, I sang the national anthem in my head, thinking I should at least stop crying before becoming even more unsightly. I was silently singing the entire national anthem telling myself to calm down, please calm down, when Woo Dohwan stubbornly kept making eye contact without any tact. I clamped my mouth shut and turned my head away sharply.
Stop touching me and just go. He usually paid attention to social cues, but today he was acting particularly tactless.
“Kim Yujin must have come today to reserve a bouquet. Did you meet her?”
“…Yes.”
“What flowers did you use? Did you choose well for her?”
I didn’t particularly want to answer his gentle questions. As I turned my head away and let out a deep sigh, Woo Dohwan called my name in a soothing, affectionate voice.
“Ranho. Darling. Ranho.”
“Phalaenopsis, dendrobium, sandersonia.”
“What’s that?”
“…You wouldn’t know even if I told you. So why do you keep asking?”
At my coldly spat answer, lukewarm hands took my hands away from gripping the table.
“I have to ask like this to hear your voice.”
“……”
“It’s not like you became this way from fighting with Kim Yujin, right? She’s not that fierce of a person.”
He unfolded my clenched fingers one by one and interlaced his fingers with mine. Gently rubbing around my wrist area with his thumb, he continued with a languid expression.
“I bought the bouquet at the airport. Roses mixed with lots of baby’s breath. I don’t know what she likes, so just. People buy roses a lot.”
“……”
At his sudden but matter-of-fact words, my breath caught. Having accurately figured out exactly why I was acting coldly, Woo Dohwan explained where and what flowers he had bought as if making a voluntary confession.
“I don’t know what Kim Yujin said to you, but that noona and I have nothing between us. Our families know each other and since no one else was available, I had no choice but to go pick her up. It’s true we met before, but we weren’t serious, and we didn’t date long enough for that. I’ve never been as interested in anyone as I am in you, darling.”
“……”
“And the bouquet you gave me is in my living room. The Aurora rose is by my bedside. You can go see it right now if you want, shall we go?”
Woo Dohwan very naturally told me the whereabouts of the flowers I had given him. Crazy, this is driving me crazy, really. My face burned bright red with pointless jealousy. The tears instantly dried up. I felt like I could crawl into a mouse hole if it meant I could just hide right now.
“Now do you feel like telling me who did this to you?”
At his quiet question, I bit my lips tightly as if stalling for time, then released them and stammered through an explanation of what I had experienced today.
“That person who… came for the part-time job interview. Today he came quite drunk and tried to force me to go with him. When he dragged me out, he grabbed here.”
I slightly lifted the hand he was holding to show my wrist. As the swollen wrist that was starting to bruise purple hurt again, making me automatically wince, Woo Dohwan loosened his grip on our interlaced hands. It was my wrist that hurt, not my hand. Without realizing it, I tightened my grip on our interlaced fingers.
“That bastard came here again.”
An excessively low voice was heard. Eyes that had sunk just as much followed the traces of Chu Gangmin that hadn’t been completely cleaned up.
“Then… fortunately Ju Isin-ssi was there too, and Ban Hajoon-ssi came as well. Thanks to both of them helping, the situation was resolved well. Nothing serious happened.”
“It was such a fucked up situation that two people had to help, but our Ranho is explaining it like it was nothing. Meanwhile, my heart is dropping as I listen.”
Woo Dohwan let out a deep sigh. Really like the ground would cave in. As if trying to steady his breathing, he took a deep breath and exhaled long. Even after repeating this action several times, his rigidly hardened face showed no signs of softening.
“Should I say it’s fortunate you’re optimistic, or reassuring that you’re manly.”
“It really was nothing to me. I handle my own affairs, so you don’t need to worry about that person.”
I briefly turned my head to make eye contact, then avoided his gaze again. Though I belatedly tried to save face by acting like it was nothing, honestly speaking, what happened today wasn’t really nothing. I was more shocked than I expected and was actually quite scared. About these kinds of things that I had tried so hard to avoid but ended up experiencing anyway—I wanted to open up completely and get some advice.
I didn’t know how to get rid of Chu Gangmin either. Moreover, thinking that when I was going through such an ordeal, Woo Dohwan was meeting someone else made heat boil up inside me. While Woo Dohwan couldn’t be by my side every moment, during that tense moment I wished I had been with him rather than Ban Hajoon or Ju Isin. Sadly, after being tormented by Chu Gangmin, I could know my feelings precisely.
But I couldn’t immediately tell Woo Dohwan my feelings openly. Confessing that I liked him too right here, right now, in this state—I hated that as much as Chu Gangmin. I wanted to do it when the mood was good and I looked decent.
“What?”
“Why do you care so much about that person…”
I let the end of the words I barely whispered trail off. He should be paying attention to me instead of Chu Gangmin. Anyway, what’s important to me right now is that. That noona he said he met. He said they were nothing to each other, but he didn’t say he wouldn’t meet her again. If he met her yesterday and today, doesn’t that mean he could meet her tomorrow too?
I wish he’d clearly tell me whether he’ll meet that person again, but why does he keep talking only about Chu Gangmin…
“Are you dissing me right now and I’m being clueless and not getting it?”
“What are you talking about? So suddenly.”
“If not that, it sounds like you’re trying to piss me off, right?”
“What?”
Trying to piss you off? What the hell is he talking about? What benefit would I get from making you angry, why would I pointlessly…
“If that’s what you’re doing, you succeeded. Congratulations. My mood turned to shit. Thanks to you.”
“What turned to shit?”
Woo Dohwan let go of the hand he was holding. He irritably swept back his unstyled hair and looked at me with eyes full of unpleasant emotions as if he’d burn me to death with his gaze. What’s with that look? Just moments ago he was looking at me like he felt so sorry and affectionate he could die, but that’s not affection—that’s love-hate.
“I’m leaving. I told you not to forget that I like you, but hearing you ask why I care so much about your business is refreshing. Shocking too.”
“What are you—”
Ding-a-ling, the wind chime rang at perfect timing. The door opened and a low voice calling “Ranho” was heard. True to a novel, Gyoyeon entered calling my name at an amazing timing. But wait, I think Woo Dohwan misunderstood something…!
“I’m leaving.”
“Ah, wait…”
The one I was asking why he cared so much wasn’t me but Chu Gangmin. Before I could tell him the truth, Woo Dohwan quickly moved away without giving me a chance to catch him. Gyoyeon’s gaze shifted from me to Woo Dohwan. As I watched his back disappearing through the door with desperate eyes, Gyoyeon, who had come close at some point, grabbed my arm.
Small hands firmly gripped my wrist with appropriate strength. Of all places, my left wrist that had been grabbed by Chu Gangmin. My shoulders jumped. It hurt so much that I let out a pained “ugh” and subtly frowned.
“Where are you hurt?”
Gyoyeon’s eyes widened in surprise as she quickly pulled her hand away. At the same time, ding-a-ling— the bell rang clearly. Without even being able to tell Gyoyeon I was okay, I couldn’t take my eyes off the receding figure who had just left. At the worried voice calling “Ranho,” I finally shook my head.
“No, I’m fine. But it’s been so long since I’ve seen you, why are you so thin?”
My gaze that had been directed toward the door turned to Gyoyeon. Why did she get so thin while I wasn’t looking? She was already thin, but she got even thinner. Even while Woo Dohwan was floating around in my head, I worried about thin Gyoyeon.
“Ranho?”
I unconsciously reached out toward Gyoyeon whose cheeks looked gaunt from weight loss, then smiled awkwardly when she immediately pulled her head back in rejection. Is this kind of thing uncomfortable for her now too?
“Sorry. …You worked hard getting here. Aren’t you tired? I said I’d come pick you up.”
I moved toward the showcase as if to change the awkward atmosphere. There was a flower I had been thinking of giving to Gyoyeon since morning… After sending Woo Dohwan away like that, I couldn’t readily reach out for it. My heart was unsettled and I kept sighing. I was trying to explain properly, so why did he leave on his own?
“I’m not tired. But who was that person?”
“A frequent… customer.”
“A regular? But why was he so angry? He didn’t seem like just a customer…”
At her suspicious question, I just turned my head to make eye contact with Gyoyeon and gave a faint smile. Her quick wit is really something to acknowledge.
“He seemed to… misunderstand something, but he left without giving me a chance to explain.”
“Shouldn’t you go after him?”
“Not now. Today I need to look at Mo Gyoyeon’s face. It’s been so long I might forget it.”
Though I acted like nothing was wrong, I couldn’t do anything about the spreading bitterness. My mouth was smiling, but my glancing gaze was directed outside where Woo Dohwan had disappeared. You should listen to Korean all the way to the end—why get angry without even listening?
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
