#056
Every morning at 8:30. A strikingly handsome man who looks beautiful even from a distance walks out, pushing the officetel entrance with his shoulder. The man who appeared exactly at thirty minutes past without a single minute’s error had overslept today and passed through the entrance about fifteen minutes late. The large clothes on his slender body fluttered in the wind, revealing his thin body line without filter and catching the attention of passersby.
“Not even knowing that… tsk-.”
The owner of the gaze stopped walking with a blank face as if he had no interest whatsoever in people’s stares. He rubbed his drowsy eyes as if still not fully awake and habitually pushed up the ball cap he wore to check his surroundings.
His slightly dazed gaze turned forward instead of skyward. Who is it? Chu Gangmin also followed the man’s gaze. A man leaning against a sleekly stretched sedan. The man in a white shirt and dark gray coat raised his hand.
Like an old habit, the man who jutted out his lips and grumbled complaints headed toward the roadside with somewhat hurried steps. Why isn’t he going to the flower shop? Chu Gangmin, who had risen from sitting across the street, had pupils that shook restlessly with anxiety.
The two exchanged a few words. Then, as if by appointment, they got in the car and disappeared like a mirage. Chu Gangmin, who had been blinking, mercilessly rubbed his eyes with his pale knuckles. Was he still dreaming? No. As if trying to come to his senses, he slapped his own cheeks a few times and raised his head again.
Nothing. It seemed he had indeed seen an illusion. It was always like this lately. Even with his lover right before his eyes, he often grasped at air. He must be tired from not sleeping properly. Chu Gangmin stopped his restless pacing that would make even onlookers anxious and sat back down on the bench.
Waiting wasn’t difficult. His gaze focused on one place. He fixed his eyes on the entrance of the officetel where his lover always came out and rummaged through his pockets. Rustle, he took out a square paper box and poured strongly mint-flavored candy into his mouth.
It was a morning when he hadn’t fully awakened from sleep.
How many hours had passed? Chu Gangmin’s body, which had been sitting motionless, shot up like a spring. When had his lover come outside? Wasn’t it a dream? Lately, the boundary between dreams and reality had collapsed. Unable to sleep properly, he rolled his dry eyes and persistently stared at the man he could recognize at once even from a distance. The man who got out of the passenger seat headed straight for the trunk. And the man who got out of the driver’s seat earlier was the man Chu Gangmin had unpleasantly encountered several times.
It seemed they had bought flowers. The man who showed a smooth smile toward his lover leaning against the door took off the coat he was wearing and draped it over his shoulders. His fists clenched involuntarily. Vulgar curses shot out consecutively through his teeth. Why doesn’t he refuse? Didn’t he get beaten enough? I told him not to smile, but he’s already forgotten. Chu Gangmin ground his teeth and watched the two without missing a single moment. The sight of them moving flowers, the man catching his lover who was about to trip over something and holding him in his arms.
At the sight of his lover blushing as if flustered, the can in his hand crumpled with a crack. The drink that spurted out wet his hands. Before even feeling disgusted by the stickiness, his gaze was fixed on the two people exchanging conversation at a distance where their breaths could touch. Unpleasantly paired emotions were expelled from his mouth like excrement. Even spitting and cursing didn’t easily subside. The man received flowers from his lover and gestured with his chin.
The flower shop door opened wide, and the man who walked inside more familiarly than he did finished moving the flowers and pulled out the car. Meanwhile, his lover briefly came out the door and looked around. Chu Gangmin’s gaze turned toward the man looking up at the sky with a clear face.
Following the slender neckline with a licking gaze, the prominent Adam’s apple moves up and down seductively with a gulp. Following the moving Adam’s apple, the saliva pooled in Chu Gangmin’s mouth also goes down. Gulp, he becomes captivated by the thought of wanting to bury his face in that wetly fragrant nape and smell it until he’s sick of it.
He follows the man’s movements with thirsty eyes. As if he had never looked at the sky, he turned around immediately. The man smiling as if he would collapse before the door closed is none other than the owner of ‘Flower House’ and Seo Ranho, whom Chu Gangmin firmly believes is his lover.
His lover, who had been visiting like an incubus every night for weeks without getting tired, kept pretending not to know him for some reason, burning his insides black. Even the strange bastards who came to the flower shop joined forces to deny him, which was unpleasant. What mistake did I make? This thought crept into Chu Gangmin’s mind.
“Ah. I hit him, right.”
A roughly dry voice rang out. The blackened area under his eyes twitched. On the other side of the six-lane road, Chu Gangmin’s daily routine sitting on a convenience store bench was to consistently observe Seo Ranho, who was both his sulking lover and the flower shop owner.
Today too, Seo Ranho disappeared into the flower shop with an innocent face as if he knew nothing. Chu Gangmin’s pupils, holding the completely crumpled energy drink can, lazily rolled back and returned to their place. He closed his bloodshot eyes and fumbled over his eyelids with his fingertips, then opened his lips and tilted the can with dried sticky drink.
Gulp, gulp, gulp. A few mouthfuls of drink flowed down hastily between his parted lips. Chu Gangmin roughly wiped his mouth with his chapped knuckles in the cold weather and left the bench with movements surprisingly quick for his build.
He wanted to see Seo Ranho from a little closer. Ah, will he pretend not to know again today? With such thoughts, he crossed the crosswalk. He wasn’t originally such a passive person, but slight irritation arose at his increasingly hesitant steps.
Chu Gangmin, who had stopped near Seo Ranho’s flower shop and was staring intently at the entrance, spun around in place again at an anxiously fast speed. Then he stopped abruptly. Whether the spinning vision made him dizzy, he swayed and barely regained his balance.
“Huh.”
A sigh filled with lament came through his rough, dry lips. In last night’s dream, he only saw him crying, but would he be able to see a smiling face today? Chu Gangmin’s gaze turned toward the palm that had struck Seo Ranho hard. Regret crept up from his feet. As the sensation of warm skin sticking with friction sounds came to mind, trembling gradually spread from his fingertips.
‘What if I really hit him?’
After chewing his lips persistently, he impulsively moved his steps. He picked up a carbonated drink from the convenience store, finished paying, and settled on the bench. It was the start of another long and tedious wait. He opened the can and gulped down the drink.
“When is this bastard going to get lost?”
Chu Gangmin, who had been sitting on the bench killing time endlessly while glaring at the flower shop entrance, muttered curses again in a low voice. Ten minutes, fifteen minutes. As time passed, his heart pounded heavily thud-thud.
“Fucking hate it.”
After crumpling the drink can that had been empty for a long time and throwing it carelessly, he rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a cigarette pack.
Just as he was about to light the cigarette in his mouth, the door opened. The man holding a bouquet and smiling like a picture walked toward the parking lot. Just as he thought he was finally leaving, customers kept coming and going without rest, making him wonder if the flower shop business was doing well.
He intended to wait until a somewhat quieter time. Waiting wasn’t such a difficult task for Chu Gangmin.
***
Only when the sun was setting did he get up and dust himself off. Chu Gangmin, who kicked away the cigarette butts piled up under his feet and went down the stairs, lightly stepped onto the flower shop terrace less than ten steps away.
Just as Seo Ranho had done, he looked up at the sky and lightly tilted his head. Thinking that the sunset sky was particularly red, he pushed open the entrance door and immediately saw a slender back figure washing hands.
“Are you here? Just a moment. Let me just wash my hands.”
A gentle voice rang out as if someone else was supposed to come. Ah, is he trying to meet someone else again? Chu Gangmin clenched his fists that naturally tensed up and breathed slowly.
“Looks like someone’s coming?”
At his own voice, his dry spine jumped with a crack. As if in slow motion, he could see his lover’s face slowly turning around. Was he angry? His beautiful lips were tightly shut. Chu Gangmin, who had been carefully observing Seo Ranho’s face while smiling, slowly leaned his body against the table.
“I came to check. Whether you were well all night.”
Seo Ranho’s face turned ashen as if he was going to pretend not to know again today. Chu Gangmin captured that sight without even blinking.
“I keep not understanding what you’re talking about,”
Look at this. Pretending not to know again. The mouth shape letting out a deep sigh was cute, so he stared at those lips for a while before continuing peacefully. At his words about having another dream of hitting him, he somehow saw eyes that pitied him. Chu Gangmin’s lips curved in an arc. Had his anger subsided?
“In last night’s dream too, I hit the shop owner a bit, and just from that bit of hitting, your lips and cheeks were all split open. So I came to check that. Whether the hitting was really just a dream. Whether I actually laid hands on that pretty face. It’s too pretty to hit… the shop owner’s face.”
At the words he spoke shyly, Seo Ranho’s pupils wavered like candlelight swaying in the wind. Was he surprised? He was saying sorry. Seo Ranho didn’t seem to understand his words at all, so Chu Gangmin’s eyes became sharp.
After exchanging meaningless conversation, when his lover said he would report him if he came one more time, he couldn’t contain his anger and showed violence again. Before Chu Gangmin could say “oops,” the small back curled up round.
Ah, I didn’t want to do this. Just as he was extending his hand while chewing on regret, the bell rang. The man who had been unpleasant every time they met entered calling his lover’s name. That fucking bastard. His gaze met with the man who was looking at him as if he would devour him.
He was the troublemaker who repeatedly interfered with his reconciliation with Seo Ranho.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
