The words were difficult to grasp, so Ressas could only blink his long lashes in confusion. Seiyad, watching him with a mix of fondness and exasperation, finally shook his head, as if to say, What am I going to do with you? He rubbed his thumb gently over the back of Ressas’s hand, which clung tightly to him, and turned his attention to the table.
“Let’s finish your meal first. Greens are good, but I’d really like you to have some meat, too. It’ll help you regain your strength faster. You’ve gotten much better, but don’t forget what the doctor said—eating well is especially important until spring arrives.”
Though he heard this same plea every day, Ressas clamped his mouth shut. A wave of emotion swelled inside him, so powerful it threatened to break through if he so much as opened his mouth. He gritted his teeth, afraid that something uncontainable might slip out.
Had anyone ever cared for him like this—so consistently, for so long? There had been a nanny, whose name he couldn’t even remember now, who had raised him with a kind of pity, yes. But that had been sympathy, not this. What Seiyad gave him felt entirely different—something more essential, more rooted.
The realization that he had a place in someone’s heart was both astonishing and awe-inspiring. Silently, Ressas gripped Seiyad’s hand like a lifeline. And the fact that this person, the one giving him such warmth, was his Seiyad—that was what truly drove him mad. It was overwhelming. Humbling. Too much.
The feeling burned inside him, and with no way to release it, Ressas kept grabbing and letting go of Seiyad’s hand over and over. He wanted to pull that rough, calloused hand to his lips, kiss it, lick each finger, and swallow them whole. He had always craved Seiyad—so this desire felt natural. The hunger he felt from Seiyad’s absence was far more agonizing than any physical starvation.
“Okay… I’ll eat the meat too.”
After a moment, he managed to gather himself and smiled, eyes curving gently. His soft violet eyes sparkled like petals unfolding. Seiyad, watching him quietly with a serious expression on his handsome face, finally picked up his fork. Even the way he held his utensils was elegant and poised—so refined it made Ressas’s awkward gestures seem laughable in comparison.
“Is there anything here you’d like to try?”
“What about you? What do you want to eat?”
“I want to know what Your Highness wants.”
“I haven’t had most of these dishes before, so I wouldn’t know the taste anyway. If I’m going to try something, I’d like it to be something you enjoy.”
Perhaps persuaded, Seiyad glanced down at the plates in thought, then chose the spicy grilled rabbit. With practiced efficiency, he sliced the meat into bite-sized pieces.
“Have you had anything spicy before?”
“No, but I’d like to try.”
Solias wasn’t a country particularly fond of spicy food, so it lacked the herbs and ingredients to make it flavorful. In the southern region, the heat allowed for some cultivation of such spices, but because Zion disliked anything spicy, Ressas had never had a chance to try them.
“I quite like it.”
The moment Seiyad said that, Ressas reached for his fork without hesitation. The rabbit meat, now slightly cooled, gave off a strange but appetizing scent. As he took a bite, the flavor hit him first—savory and a little salty—then the heat followed, sharp and swift. His eyes went wide as the spiciness spread across his tongue. A flicker of discomfort crossed his fair, beautiful face. Seiyad, seeing it, quickly held out a glass of water.
“Is it too spicy?”
“…No, I’m fine.”
He answered quickly, wanting to be able to enjoy the things Seiyad liked too. But the burning heat surged again. Normally, pain was easy enough for Ressas to endure—but this kind of trivial sting, surprisingly, was hard to hide. In the end, he accepted the glass and cooled his mouth with the water. Even after draining it in one go, the lingering heat made him open his mouth slightly, trying to breathe.
His lips had flushed bright red, and when they parted, they revealed a tongue redder still. As Seiyad moved to pour more water, he caught sight of the scene—and paused. Apparently surprised by how much it had affected him, Ressas glanced up, the corners of his eyes tinted pink. Worried Seiyad might find him pathetic, he met his gaze—and Seiyad spoke in a slightly softer, lowered voice.
“It’s probably best if you don’t eat spicy food anymore.”
“It’s just a little spicy… but it’s more manageable than I thought.”
“If you really want to, then only eat it when I’m with you.”
He had tried to play it off like it was nothing, but it seemed Seiyad wasn’t convinced. Seiyad had a sweet tooth, but spicy food came in second, and Ressas had hoped to like it too. Now, disappointed in himself, his expression grew slightly downcast—until Seiyad gently comforted him.
“Everyone has their own tastes. There’s no reason to feel discouraged over something like this.”
“The food is really good. I’m just not used to it. I think I’ll get used to it if I eat it more often.”
“Alright. For now, I’ll ask them to make things a little milder. Start with that, and see how it goes.”
As Seiyad spoke, his hand brushed gently across Ressas’s cheek in a motion that felt more like soothing a child than anything else. The touch, something Ressas had longed for, sparked a warm joy deep within him—only to be quickly followed by a strange sense of unease. Had Seiyad momentarily forgotten that he was no longer the young boy he used to be?
“If you’d like more, I can rinse the seasoning off for you.”
When Seiyad genuinely moved to wash the spicy marinade off the rabbit meat, Ressas hurriedly grabbed his wrist.
“It’s fine. I think I’ve had enough.”
“Already? But you barely ate.”
Ressas’s idea of a proper portion might’ve been a bit off, but according to Cecilia, he ate a fairly normal amount. Still, Seiyad constantly worried he was eating too little, and unless Ressas insisted he was full, he never backed down.
“It’s still early morning. Let’s just eat a lot at lunch and dinner—together.”
Seiyad studied him with a doubtful expression, then gave a small nod.
“Alright. Then, is there anything you’d like to do?”
It sounded like he was suggesting they spend time together, and Ressas blinked in surprise. Since returning, Seiyad had been incredibly busy—once meals were over, he would immediately leave to handle matters: inspecting parts of the forest where Nir’a forces might still be hiding, discussing with the dukes whether any Nir’a remained, and overseeing the capital’s reconstruction.
And that was just the abbreviated list. In truth, the workload was enormous. With Solias no longer isolated, everything had to be rebuilt—policy, military, systems—there was so much that needed to change. And all of it was supposed to be Ressas’s responsibility. Technically, he should have already returned to the capital to resume his duties.
But for now, it seemed the nobles were deferring to Seiyad’s insistence that Ressas be allowed to rest. Judging from Cecilia’s account—she described it as borderline blackmail—Seiyad had used sheer force of will to make them comply. Still, once spring came, Ressas would inevitably have to return.
“You mean… me? With you?”
“Yes. I’ve taken care of most of the urgent matters, so I’ve got time today. And since Your Highness has been sleeping so much, I haven’t had the chance to see you properly. You’ll need to make up for that.”
Everything he said was true, and Ressas bit his lip, overwhelmed by how happy it made him. Embarrassed about sleeping so much, yet breathlessly thrilled that Seiyad wanted to spend time with him, he tried to suppress the feeling that swelled inside him. But he couldn’t hide the excitement on his face, and Seiyad smiled softly, the chill in his eyes melting into warmth.
“Then… I’d like to go hunting.”
“It’s quite cold outside—are you sure you’ll be alright?”
Seiyad asked again, clearly concerned, but it seemed he couldn’t bring himself to deny Ressas something when he rarely asked for anything. And this—this, Ressas genuinely wanted. Not because he enjoyed hunting, but because there was something he wanted to do for Seiyad.
“I want to help with your work, and there’s something I’ve been meaning to try. If you allow it, I’d like to go hunting with you.”
Ressas wanted to catch a beautiful white wolf.
The first time Seiyad had taught him how to hunt, Ressas had caught a white wolf and turned its pelt into a cloak. Now, he wanted to make another—this time, for the Seiyad of the present.
Especially because the cloak Seiyad currently wore had been a gift from Aster.
I’m sorry, Brother… But Ressas didn’t want any trace of Aster lingering near Seiyad.
Of course, he knew Seiyad didn’t care about things like that—and probably didn’t even have the emotional space to notice. If anything, the fact that Aster seemed so thoroughly forgotten in Seiyad’s heart reassured Ressas. That’s why he never said it aloud. Because if he did… he’d only look petty and ugly.
Everything that lived inside him—if spoken aloud—would only sound grotesque.
So Ressas hid it all behind a sweet, innocent smile, feigning harmlessness. And Seiyad, unaware of the darkness within his lover, finally gave in with a gentle nod, as if he had no choice.
“Judging from Cecilia’s account-she described it as
borderline blackmail—Seiyad had used sheer force of will to make them comply. Still, once spring came, Ressas would inevitably have to return.”
LMAO Seiyad 😂 anything for his man
Half the meal is them ogling each other
Other half is Ressas drowning in jealous and low self esteem