He had a dream.
It was the kind of day when soft cirrus clouds drift lazily across a vivid blue sky. Seiyad stood at Axid Lake, its waters shimmering silver in the sunlight. The season marked the start of the brief northern summer—the only time of year the region grew warm. A gentle breeze stirred, carrying the subtle scent of grass and flowers. The air itself seemed to soothe the soul.
In the dream, Seiyad stood quietly, gazing out over the lake. The scene felt familiar, yet strangely foreign. A sudden awareness flickered in him—he realized his consciousness had somehow become detached from the version of himself in this place. He looked around, unsettled.
The moment he turned his head, a pair of blue eyes met his.
Clear and luminous like the lake itself—those long-forgotten eyes softened the instant they found his. The confident, graceful smile that followed was unmistakably Aster’s, the Crown Prince. It was the same smile Seiyad had once served with absolute devotion.
“Eid.”
A hand reached out and gently swept Seiyad’s hair back. His first instinct was to recoil, suspecting yet another attempt at manipulation—but his body refused to move.
Instead, it responded in direct defiance of his will.
“Yes, Your Highness.”
Submitting to the touch without resistance, Seiyad kept his eyes on Aster. Though his consciousness bristled with discomfort, his body responded with warmth—trust, affection. Emotions he had once known well.
There was a time when Seiyad had felt the same way toward Aster—the boy who’d been destined from birth to be his Guide, the one who had wanted no one else but him.
“I’m glad we came today. There’s no season more beautiful than summer in the North, and I especially love Axid Lake this time of year. It sparkles like silver… just like you.”
“I’m glad Your Highness is pleased.”
“Anything from you pleases me.”
Laughter rang out from the lakeshore. Turning toward the sound of Cecilia’s delighted squeal, Seiyad saw Ressas—drenched and dripping. While the others had been splashing in the water, Ressas had stayed near the edge, standing guard. Cecilia had snuck up and splashed him.
Even from a distance, Seiyad could see the flustered look on Ressas’s face.
And in that moment, he realized: the Ressas standing there was nineteen—the year he’d come of age.
He simply knew.
But Seiyad had never spent that summer with Ressas. The awareness struck him at once—and just as quickly, he understood that what he was seeing wasn’t a dream, but a memory. A real moment that had once existed. A scar on the world itself.
And perhaps… this was the “first life” Ressas had once spoken of.
Even as his mind drifted elsewhere, Seiyad remained transfixed—watching Ressas with the stillness of someone unable to look away from something beautiful.
Ressas, with that awkward smile, looked completely out of his element.
“Prince Ressas, don’t just stand there—come play with us!”
Though most of the castle still found Ressas intimidating, people like Quilly and Cecilia treated him naturally—for Seiyad’s sake. Cecilia, bold as ever, drew all the attention.
Ressas hesitated, startled by her invitation, and—almost instinctively—looked toward Seiyad.
It was the look of someone who didn’t know if he was allowed to be included in such a moment, someone silently asking permission.
When Seiyad gave him a slow, almost imperceptible nod, Ressas responded at once. Letting Cecilia lead the way, he followed her into the lake.
His soaked white shirt clung to him, outlining every detail of his physique—broad shoulders, firm back muscles, a sculpted waist, a well-defined chest.
The body of a grown man, plain as day.
And suddenly, dream-Seiyad was overwhelmed by a sharp sense of alarm—and something deeper. Discomfort. Unease.
The sight was far too provocative for a public setting.
But more than that, it was the jarring realization that Ressas had grown up—without Seiyad even noticing. The swirl of conflicting emotions left his heart pounding.
“Looks like Cecilia’s taken a liking to Ressas.”
Aster’s voice came from beside him, calm and detached. He neither hated nor cared much for his half-brother; he spoke as though commenting on someone else’s gossip.
“I don’t think so. To Cecilia, he’s just a friend.”
They did look like a good match—both charming, well-mannered, and balanced. But something about it gnawed at Seiyad. The unease wouldn’t leave him. And as if to reject the thought entirely, he spoke again.
“They’re a Tither and a Guide. A relationship like that is impossible.”
Aster paused at the firm response. Realizing he might have spoken too curtly, Seiyad turned his head to see the prince watching him quietly.
Aster’s golden brows drew together slightly as he studied Seiyad, his expression unreadable. Then, brushing his blond hair back, he offered a smile and spoke lightly.
“You’re right. A romantic relationship between a Tither and a Guide wouldn’t work. But love—love is something else entirely. They’ll both find someone soon. Ressas has already started receiving proposals. Cecilia won’t be far behind.”
“…Proposals?”
“Mm. Since he’s not bound to a Tither and no one’s responsible for his Guide powers, it might be for the best.”
At those words, pain lanced through Seiyad’s chest. He fell silent.
A nameless sorrow rose within him. Emptiness.
A sense of loss too deep to contain.
He turned back toward the lake.
And there, just like always, stood Ressas—gazing only at him.
The boy who used to turn around to make sure Seiyad was behind him…
That beautiful child had grown into someone radiant.
Under the sun, his white skin glowed brighter than any maiden’s. His soaked black hair clung to his face in a way that was—almost indecent.
But what struck Seiyad most… was how happy Ressas looked, just because their eyes had met.
He had always smiled awkwardly. But when Seiyad glanced his way—even briefly—Ressas would smile like no one else ever could.
It had always been that way.
So obvious, so natural, that Seiyad had never once imagined… that one day, that beautiful smile—
—might not be for him.
He had always been there, always within reach.
Seiyad had never even considered that Ressas might one day turn toward someone else.
“Seiyad.”
Softly, Ressas called his name and gave a shy wave.
Aware of the eyes around them, he hesitated, unsure if he was allowed to call out to the one standing beside his older brother.
And yet, he couldn’t suppress the joy bubbling inside him.
He didn’t dare call him “Eid” in public—so instead, he said “Seiyad.”
And in that moment, Seiyad realized:
He was deeply, hopelessly in love with him.
His eyes flew open.
Like surfacing from the depths of a deep lake, Seiyad jolted upright from sleep.
The emotions from the dream still gripped him tightly.
His chest ached, his stomach churned—his body overwhelmed by longing.
The yearning was unbearable. He turned over quickly.
He had fallen asleep in Ressas’s arms. As he shifted, Ressas’s sleeping face came into view—no longer distant, but right there, inches away.
Only then did Seiyad’s heart begin to calm.
Seeing his lover so peaceful, so unaware, filled him with contentment.
He reached out, entranced by how long his eyelashes were, and brushed them lightly with a fingertip.
Then, he let his hand drift across those flushed lips, still tinged with the remnants of last night.
The fact that they had fallen asleep this close, wrapped in each other’s arms—
—it overwhelmed him with a thirst he couldn’t quite name.
His arms were pinned by the tight embrace, making it hard to move. Not wanting to wake his peacefully sleeping lover, Seiyad carefully slipped one arm free and reached up to touch Ressas’s cheek. As his fingers brushed over that soft, silken skin, Ressas’s eyelashes twitched in response.
Seiyad held still, waiting quietly. Then, Ressas’s eyelids fluttered open, revealing those beautiful violet eyes.
“…Eid.”
“You’re awake.”
“…Mhm. Yeah.”
Still heavy with sleep, Ressas mumbled in a drowsy, endearing voice. The sight made Seiyad smile loosely—and the moment he did, Ressas’s body responded immediately. They were still connected, and nestled inside Seiyad, his cock twitched and hardened in an instant. It had been firm already, but the sudden throb made Seiyad’s stomach drop.
He was sure there’d been some tearing. Last night, he’d gone numb from the soreness. But oddly, after a night of sleep, the pain was gone. Seiyad had heard that the first time often came with aftereffects, but it seemed Ressas’s power had helped him recover.
“You’re quite energetic this morning. Just as expected from someone your age.”
As wakefulness returned, Seiyad’s mind drifted back to the night before, and heat bloomed in his body. Even the pain of penetration had been something he accepted willingly. Everything after that had been sheer, mindless pleasure. Just thinking about it made him stir again.
In response, the tightness around Ressas pulsed faintly, stimulating him. The reaction was immediate. Veins bulged along Ressas’s forearm, which was still wrapped around Seiyad’s waist, and the chest pressed to his back rose and fell more heavily.
“Eid, if you do that… seriously, it’s going to be a problem.”
“And what exactly is the problem?”
“You were in a lot of pain yesterday. Besides… you said we shouldn’t overdo it the first time.”
Even as he spoke, Ressas’s body was moving on its own. His hips began to rock slowly, teasingly, stirring inside Seiyad. One hand trembled slightly as it brushed against Seiyad’s cock, while the other slid up to gently cup his chest—almost reverently.
“Your hands are telling a different story from your mouth.”
“That’s… I-I’m not doing anything. Really. I won’t do anything.”
Ressas, without thinking, had touched Seiyad’s chest—and when he realized what he’d done, he flinched and pulled away. But he couldn’t resist for long. Almost shyly, his hand returned, gently squeezing.
Seiyad, being fairly muscular, had a broad, firm chest that fit perfectly in Ressas’s large hand. Ressas seemed unable to help himself, squeezing and letting go over and over.
He was clearly trying to restrain himself—but the effect was the opposite. It turned into a kind of fondling that made Seiyad’s body heat surge again.
No one had ever touched him like this before—especially not his chest. It felt unfamiliar… and oddly arousing.
“We’ve already shared a bed. What are you holding back for? Just do as you like.”
Truthfully, Seiyad was the one who didn’t want to stop.
Seiyad had thought Ressas would be more relaxed after their first time—that he’d let go of that obsessive self-control. But no. Even now, he was stubbornly sticking to his principles.
And yet, last night, he’d been a beast—pinning Seiyad down, thrusting deep, lifting his hips, driving him senseless.
And Seiyad… had loved every second of it.
He’d never imagined he’d be the type to enjoy sex. But now, honestly, all he wanted was to keep Ressas here, tangled up with him all day. Sure, they’d been clumsy before—first times always were—but now, they’d be more in sync. And Seiyad couldn’t stop wondering just how much better it could get.
But Ressas wasn’t so easily swayed.
Even as his breathing grew ragged, he buried his face in Seiyad’s shoulder, groaning softly in frustration. Then, with agonizing restraint, he gave one last thrust—slow, deep—and pulled out.
“No. We can’t. If we keep going, it’ll just hurt you. The bed’s too hard, and you might’ve torn a bit. We should wash up. Besides, it’s already late. Judging by the sun, it’s probably noon. The others will be worried.”
Seiyad had been about to argue—but he couldn’t ignore that last part.
Yesterday, he’d fully intended to go until they both collapsed—but now, it really was time. Quilly and Cecilia would definitely be worried by now. Judging by the sunlight pouring in through the cabin window, it was already past noon.
Seiyad sighed and gave in. For now.
Once they were back at the castle, Ressas would have no excuse—and he’d convince him then.
Holding back a sigh of frustration, Seiyad sat up. The bed creaked loudly with every movement, like it might collapse any moment. He made a mental note to have someone bring a proper bed here.
And then, a thought struck him—something that had been on his mind for a while.
“Now that I think about it, how did Your Highness even know about this cabin? I didn’t even know it existed.”
Ressas turned back, modestly covering himself as he stepped off the bed. Then, with a bright, affectionate smile, he reached out a hand to help Seiyad up.
“You made it for me. It’s my favorite place.”
“…Are you talking about a time I don’t remember?”
“Yes. I think we were around fifteen. You were teaching me to hunt, and we built it together.”
You must have cherished it deeply.
It made sense. Seiyad would’ve done the same. Still, if it had been him now, he would’ve made something much larger—and far more comfortable.
He found himself thinking of the other Seiyad—the one from the dream. That version had already loved Ressas, even without realizing it.
It left a strange feeling in his chest.
Even back then, before he remembered anything, he had already loved him.
And yet… that version of himself had realized it first.
That bothered him.
Seiyad considered telling Ressas about the dream. But then he hesitated.
If Ressas found out he’d been loved from the very beginning, he’d be ecstatic.
And while Seiyad wanted his happiness… part of him was afraid.
Afraid that Ressas might love that Seiyad more than the man in front of him now.
He didn’t want that.
They had already lost so much time—there were things that version had done for Ressas that he hadn’t.
So instead, Seiyad made a quiet decision.
He would make sure Ressas couldn’t even think of anyone else. Not past, not present. Only him.
And then he would tell him.
“In that case, the wood carving outside—was that something you made?”
“Oh, there’s a carving?”
“Yes. It looked like an animal. Hard to tell—it was so weathered it lost its shape.”
Ressas blushed with sudden realization.
“It was probably a wolf. You know I’m terrible at carving… so it probably didn’t look right.”
“Who was it for?”
Seiyad already knew—but he asked anyway.
Looking completely innocent, Ressas smiled and whispered,
“For my moon. You used to love wolves.”
“In that case… why not make me another one?”
“…Can I?”
“Of course. But not a wolf.”
At Seiyad’s firm reply, Ressas’s eyes widened. He quickly looked at him, trying to read his mood, and asked gently,
“You don’t like wolves? Then of course, I won’t make one. What would you like, Eid?”
“A deer.”
Seiyad didn’t hesitate for a second.
Ressas’s eyes lit up with an affectionate smile—clearly thinking Seiyad must love deer.
“You like deer?”
“Not exactly. I chose it because it reminds me of you.”
“…Me?”
Ressas looked stunned. His expression made it clear he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.
“I mean… aren’t I a bit big to be a deer?”
“No. You’re exactly like one. Soft, gentle, and innocent. Beautiful in a way that makes people want to protect you. Even the way you nibble at greens—you’re practically herbivorous. Oh, and remember yesterday when you asked me what kind of animal you reminded me of? There’s your answer. A white-tailed deer.”
The more Seiyad explained, the paler Ressas’s face became.
Seiyad: You remind me of a cute white-tailed deer
Ressas: oh No i look stupid to my lover
That dream was so bittersweet… I figured Seiyad liked Ressas in his first life as well, but to think that’s when he realized it…
Also I’m pretty sure their names are supposed to be romanized as Sjoerd and Reuschers, but. eh.