Seiyad stood firm without a hint of hesitation, hand extended toward Ressas. With the gray twilight descending behind him, his figure was just as large and solid as it had been the first time they met. The boy who had breathed life into a soul withering away from emptiness now stood before him, wearing the faint smile Ressas had yearned so long to see.
He was beautiful—truly.
That delicate curve of his lips and the softness in his gaze were so breathtaking they nearly stole Ressas’s breath away. It had been far too long since he’d seen those gray eyes with such warmth beneath the dark brows. He’d forgotten just how vivid, how overwhelming the emotions could be when their eyes met.
Ecstasy surged through him, so powerful he almost forgot who he was. Then joy rushed in, filling his chest to the brim. But alongside that joy came fear and sorrow—how could someone be so utterly lovable? Was he even allowed to witness this smile? The clash of aching joy and crushing sadness twisted Ressas’s expression.
Of course, he wanted to take that hand—even if it meant giving up his soul. To say he didn’t would be a lie. He loved him too deeply, too completely to restrain such a desire. If he could, he would embrace him right now and lock him away somewhere no danger could reach, where no thorn from a rose could ever scratch his fingers—someplace utterly safe.
That sorrow-choked desire began to lift its head. The blackened heart he’d forced down with duty and guilt began to crave Seiyad. Like a single raindrop sprouting into a monstrous vine, it wrapped itself around Ressas’s heart. A thick, heavy emotion pooled in his violet eyes. His fingers twitched, desperate to reach out and grab him.
But conscience—at least a shred of shame—held him back. He didn’t deserve it. He’d failed to protect the one he loved and had ended up being the one to kill him. Someone like that had no right to even scavenge the crumbs of happiness. He never expected to be forgiven. All he had ever wanted was to offer even a sliver of joy to Seiyad, who had died so alone—even if that joy came from a twisted, undeserving love. Never, not once, had he dared hope to be loved in return.
“Why are you making that face?”
He fought to still his trembling hand, but Seiyad noticed. With a slight frown of displeasure, he stepped forward. In a single stride, he closed the distance between them and reached out. Then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, he took hold of Ressas’s hand.
“The person Your Highness would sacrifice everything to save is asking you to hold their hand right now, isn’t he?”
Seiyad whispered, looking straight into his violet eyes, now damp like a chastened boy. Tilting his head slightly, he moved closer, threading his fingers through Ressas’s. His grip tightened.
“Don’t leave me alone. Stay with me so I don’t make foolish mistakes. Just like I said before—be greedy with me. That way, I’ll have more reason to live.”
Seiyad pulled him in, resting his hand against Ressas’s waist as he murmured. The moment that warmth touched him, Ressas was consumed by overwhelming desire. It was dizzying—so hot it felt like his eyelids would melt. His heart pounded like it would explode, and no matter how many times their lips met, it always felt like the first. He was breathless with wonder each time.
“But, Eid, I… I’m really awful… I’m pathetic.”
I’m a fucking bastard. A useless piece of shit who deserves to be torn to pieces. That’s what he wanted to say, but he bit his tongue, afraid of startling Seiyad. Ressas was trying to follow his conscience. He couldn’t even bring himself to confess his sins from the past; it felt like being forgiven without ever truly apologizing.
He was going mad with the urge to confess, to pour out everything he’d done wrong. But the moment he uttered a word of what had passed, reality would shatter. Words had power. Until Seiyad crossed the threshold of the life he never got to live, Ressas couldn’t disturb the buried past.
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t care, so you don’t need to care either.”
“I…!”
“Ressas.”
Seiyad called his name, breaking through the last of his resistance.
“It’s okay. So do what you really want.”
Those gray eyes blinked in front of him, unwavering. Just like the days when Seiyad had comforted him, those eyes were kind and full of certainty. Looking straight into them, the strength in Ressas’s hand—the one that tried so hard to push him away—faltered. The fortress he had locked himself in was already rusted and crumbling. All it took was Seiyad’s touch for it to collapse into dust.
His long-held patience snapped. The eyes that had tried so hard to stay grounded blurred with heat. Ressas squeezed Seiyad’s hand in return. Without any regard for danger, Seiyad had come close—and now Ressas pulled him into his arms, burying his face in the curve of his neck. He inhaled the forest scent mixed with Seiyad’s cool body temperature and felt the pounding of their hearts.
Eid was alive. Right here beside him.
“Even if I regret it…”
The moment he realized that truth, an almost terrifying hunger erupted inside him. Wrapping his arms tightly around Seiyad’s upper body, Ressas decided—just this once—to do exactly as he pleased. His world had given him permission to do so, and Ressas had never once defied the orders of his moon.
“Even if I regret it, it’s already too late.”
As he spoke those words, Seiyad’s gray eyes curved. The way he looked at him, like everything was okay—it shattered the last of Ressas’s control. That he had held back until now felt like a miracle. Overwhelmed by desire, he lost all restraint. Releasing his grip, he cradled Seiyad’s face in both hands, and for the first time, he kissed him not to suit Seiyad’s tastes, but because he wanted to.
The back of his hand, veins taut, pressed against Seiyad’s cheek. Without a hint of finesse, he sucked on Seiyad’s lips, licked and devoured them. The soft flesh between them tasted sweeter than the apples Seiyad loved, so good he wanted to chew and swallow him whole. No amount of licking was enough; his vision burned red with longing. It felt like he was going to die.
Seiyad panted, startled by the kiss that gave no room to breathe. And when Ressas felt that yearning body tremble in his arms, his chest ached with a desperate tenderness.
Yes. Like this. Live in my arms. You can scratch me, hit me—I don’t care.
Ressas wanted to feel him even more. He pushed his tongue in, licking the inside of Seiyad’s mouth. The stifled gasp that slipped out from the rough kiss fluttered like the wings of a bird.
‘Ah, I want to breathe in your breath.’
The thought, mad as it was, consumed him. Taking in that hot breath through their lips, Ressas pressed Seiyad even harder. He pushed his tongue in so deep it felt suffocating, and Seiyad gripped his shoulders tightly.
Ressas could feel him hesitating—torn between pushing away and holding on. A shiver ran through him. This beautiful, strong man was enduring him, accepting him. That alone was enough to drive him mad with joy.
A sharp, trembling moan escaped Seiyad’s lips, brushing against Ressas’s ear and sending chills down his spine. Blood surged hot through his body, and the lust within him swelled dangerously. Despite his refined appearance, his kisses were nothing short of savage—like a beast. And now, he had a new target: Seiyad’s tongue. That flushed, sweet tongue had to be tasted.
When he pulled back just slightly, his innocent Tither let out a breath of relief. His once-pale face now flushed with heat, and when he looked up at Ressas with those dazzled eyes, it felt like his ribcage might shatter.
As Seiyad panted, trying to catch his breath, Ressas swooped back in and devoured his tongue greedily. He sucked on the warm, tender muscle with force, and when the odd sensation hit, Seiyad let out a sound different from before.
“Hah, ngh…!”
A nasal moan slipped out—so incongruous with his deep voice it was hard to believe it came from him. The shiver that climbed down his spine immediately sparked a reaction below. Like a beast on the hunt, Ressas drove into him harder. The more he sucked, the more Seiyad tried to pull back, and Ressas remembered his earlier warning—it’s already too late.
Pulling him closer by the waist, Ressas devoured him. No matter how much he licked and tasted, it wasn’t enough—he was starving. Maybe it was because he’d been a wretch dying of hunger the moment he met Seiyad. Every part of him ached to consume more.
“Re… ssas… stop… ple… ase…”
Seiyad, startled by the madman he’d turned into, finally pulled away. The parts of him Ressas had held felt hotter than usual, and color had returned to his pale skin. His gray lashes fluttered frantically, clearly overwhelmed.
“I… I can’t… breathe. Just… give me a moment… to breathe…”
“Yeah… okay, I will.”
He replied obediently, as if answering his moon’s command. But the moment he saw Seiyad’s flushed face and darting gaze, his pupils dilated. It was as if Seiyad had granted him permission to unleash the desire he’d long kept in check—he could barely control himself.
Letting him catch his breath, Ressas rubbed his lips across Seiyad’s cheeks, nose, brows—then moved down, deciding to taste his ears next. He wanted to bite, chew on those plump, flushed earlobes.
“You didn’t… kiss me like this before.”
He knew he should respond to Seiyad’s murmured observation, but his body refused to cooperate. His lips, which had been grazing his face, now caught his ear, biting and releasing it repeatedly. Seiyad responded by hugging Ressas’s waist tightly.
“Did your preferences change while I wasn’t looking?”
“No, Eid. I just…”
‘I just wanted to do it your way. Until now.’
Whispering so, he nipped at Seiyad’s ear. Ah… I can finally breathe. Life filled the long-dead corners of his heart, and for the first time, Ressas felt truly alive. And he’d only just tasted a part of him—already, it was terrifying how much more he wanted.
Desire bloomed uncontrollably in his mind. He wanted to carry Seiyad away somewhere—anywhere. Just him and his moon. He was about to lose it completely, when the trumpet announcing the return of the Marquess of Saklani blared.
His blurred vision finally snapped into focus. That’s right—there was still work left to do. Protecting Seiyad mattered more than any desire. The madman from just a moment ago faded like a lie as Ressas pulled himself together. His shattered mind quickly reassembled itself.
Their ragged breaths began to settle. As reason returned, embarrassment followed. Ressas’s cheeks flushed as he blinked his long lashes, ashamed of what he’d just done. Seiyad, tousled from being kissed and sucked on so thoroughly, let out a small laugh.
“After kissing me like a beast, you finally came back to your senses, huh?”
And still, Seiyad smiled—without disgust, without fear. That beautiful face looked at him with such gentleness that Ressas could feel it: he was really being accepted.
And that awakened a desire stronger than ever before.
‘I must protect my moon.’
No matter what happens… he must live—and live happily.
Ressas had always felt this in every lifetime, but he hadn’t believed the determination could grow any deeper. And yet, somehow, it had. But this time, the feeling wasn’t drenched in despair. It was pure joy.
Slowly, Ressas smiled, eyes curving. He was grateful to have found the most precious purpose in his life.
‘Don’t worry, Eid. I’ll save you. Even if it means dissolving myself to nothing—I’ll destroy it. Completely. So nothing remains of it in this world.’
‘It won’t be long now.’
‘The day I make you happy.’
