82
If it was the man’s number, it would also be saved in his phone. The day he said let’s go out to work, but just ate and came back. He remembered saving it as <Ilsim Capital> just before leaving the house. Taein traced that memory and this time also wrote “Ilsim” before stopping. The man who had circled around to stand behind him made an “Ilsim?” sound.
“I’m Ilsim?”
“Yes. Ilsim Capital.”
Taein said while only looking at the phone screen.
“Saving a person as Capital is a bit much.”
“I don’t know your name.”
If he knew the name, he would have saved it as <Ilsim Capital Yoon Donghwan> or <Ilsim Capital Something Dojin>, but after the gangster called the man Dojin hyung-nim, he had become unsure of his name. Taein said he didn’t know the name while looking at the man. The man was standing right behind him, so the distance was too close. Having never seen the man at such close distance, Taein stepped back and made eye contact with him.
“Name? What do you want to save it as?”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s not like I don’t have a name.”
He seemed to be making a joke, but his expression wasn’t like that. It didn’t seem like he was lying.
“……”
“What, want to see?”
Saying that, the man opened the passenger door and took something out of the glove box. He shook out an envelope to take something out, and also fished out something like a card from the corner. What the man offered were several resident registration cards. One of them was Yoon Donghwan’s resident registration card that he had seen. So all of these were fake? Taein, who unknowingly received the several ID cards, was inwardly surprised by their flawless quality.
“I have a fucking lot of passports too.”
“…Yes.”
“Which one’s better?”
“What do you mean?”
“Name. Which one looks good at first glance? I need to cut down on them anyway.”
At those words, Taein lowered his head and scanned through the names. Yoon Donghwan, Lee Dojin. Those were the two names he knew, and the rest of the names also seemed familiar somehow. Only ordinary names were there. Junho, Gangmin, Taewan…. All the names that caught his eye suited the man reasonably well. He might be thinking this because he didn’t know much about the man. Taein ultimately couldn’t decide on a name and handed the resident registration cards back to the man.
“They’re all fine, but ask other people besides me.”
“So which one do you think is fine?”
“…This one.”
Since there wasn’t any name he particularly thought was fine, Taein pointed to the ID card that was on top. The man followed Taein’s gaze down and then back up. In that brief moment, he could see the man’s dumbfounded expression.
“You’re telling me to be Yeongchun?”
When was there such a name? Taein, who lowered his eyes, belatedly realized whether there had been such a name besides the ones he had seen. After looking at about five cards and hastily handing them all to the man, the ID cards had gotten all mixed up. The one that had been at the bottom had come to the top, and that happened to be Yeongchun. Byeon Yeongchun. The man’s photo next to it couldn’t look more out of place. Taein tensed his mouth to hold back laughter.
“You do have expressions.”
He had a momentarily off-guard expression before quickly hardening his face, and Taein looked up at the man who had said that.
The man raised and lowered just one eyebrow as he threw the resident registration cards onto the passenger seat. Taein’s eyes touched the several falling ID cards before looking up at the sound of the man saying something.
“Live with some expression, you bastard. You know you’re the same age as me, right?”
“…Yes. That’s what I heard then.”
“You heard? Then since you heard, would you mind dropping the formal speech?”
The man who mimicked the formal speech smiled with raised corners of his mouth.
“……”
“There are no people the same age here.”
The way he pointed forward with his chin seemed to express the nearby neighborhood. Taein had also met many people while doing delivery work, but he had barely seen anyone his age. The closest was Jang Ihwan, and he didn’t think he’d seen even one person the same age. Maybe it was because there weren’t many people whose age he knew in the first place.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen one, so it’d be nice to be friends, right?”
The man said that while smoking a cigarette. Immediately after, his face became blurry due to the smoke he blew out.
“Drop the formal speech.”
“…Yeah.”
He didn’t particularly intend to make friends, but there was nothing good about getting on the man’s bad side. Taein had already decided to follow the man’s wishes until he received the loan. When he awkwardly gave a “yeah” response, the man exhaled cigarette smoke with an expressionless face that seemed to be smiling.
With his slightly narrowed eyes, he was looking at Taein.
Taein only left a short answer before looking elsewhere. Then he turned his eyes toward the man and directed his gaze to the eyebrow scar. The scarred area was particularly visible in the sunlight. Would he have looked more similar to Gu Wanjae if that wasn’t there? Now, because of that scar, his impression was ambiguous. It was also more confusing because his hairstyle was different. But that couldn’t be possible. Taein, who had been thinking of someone by himself, gave a bitter smile and looked at the ground. He kicked small pebble-like stones in front of him with his foot, trying to erase his confused emotions.
He didn’t know why he was thinking of that bastard again.
* * *
A few days later, Taein left the house from the morning.
He had gone to a beer hall interview yesterday, but today he planned to look for jobs by running around on foot.
How far had he gotten from the glass door on the first floor? Suddenly he heard a familiar voice from behind.
“Hey, young man. Why don’t you answer your phone?”
It was the ajumma who had been coming in and out of the house to help with housework since Eundo was a baby babbling.
“Oh, hello. Ajumma.”
Since receiving the burner phone, Taein had no saved numbers except for the house phone number and the man’s number. Unlike Taein who seemed pleased, the ajumma’s expression wasn’t good. It seemed she had been worried because there had been no contact from Taein after she found Eundo late in the evening and sent him home.
“Why don’t you answer your phone?”
“Ah, I lost my phone. I actually just got a new phone, so if you give me your number, I’ll call you. And that day, though it’s late, I was really grateful.”
“Oh my, grateful for what? What are you doing going around like this?”
The ajumma who lightly hit Taein’s shoulder said with a frown.
“Yes, I… am looking for work.”
“You still haven’t found work and that’s why that happened that day? What on earth is going on? What is it?”
She wasn’t usually like this, but she must have been that frustrated and worried to be like this. Taein just silently took the shoulder hits and nodded. The ajumma let out a long “oh my” sigh and asked Taein where Eundo had gone.
“Where did the baby go? Did he go to kindergarten?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my, young man really.”
Taein, who gave an awkward smile and bowed his head, made eye contact with the ajumma.
“I usually wouldn’t say things like this.”
“……”
As if it was difficult, the ajumma’s face also had a troubled expression as she opened her mouth.
“Honestly, this place isn’t good for a baby to live in. You know that too, young man. But it’s not like you have money or anything. Don’t take my words badly. Even if you curse me for being nosy, I can’t just keep watching.”
The ajumma who shook her head vigorously pressed her lips hard enough for deep laugh lines to form.
“Can’t you send the baby to a facility until you save up money? Oh my, I feel like I’m sinning even saying this. Tsk.”
Even after saying it, her heart seemed bitter as the ajumma kept shaking her head. This wasn’t the first time hearing such words from the ajumma. When things were really hard, she had quietly called him over at night when he was going out to work, saying think about temporarily placing the baby in an orphanage, you’re having a hard time too, young man. Taein’s thoughts were similar to the ajumma’s. He also knew that Eundo could grow up prettier and better if he met a good home and good parents.
But the decision wasn’t easy.
He had already given Eundo a lot of affection, so he couldn’t easily send the child somewhere like turning pages in a book.
What if he met bad people? What if they starved him?
What if.
And whenever such ominous thoughts came to mind, Taein would deeply lower his head. He knew that all of that was just excuses to drag out time. You bastard… I don’t want to… Even when Taein cursed at himself or hit his own cheek, he would always stop at the same place. Even attempting it wasn’t easy.
“No. If you live diligently, light will come too. Don’t take my words too much to heart.”
“No. I’ve been thinking about it too.”
“Oh my, it breaks my heart. You need to live your own life too, young man.”
In front of the ajumma who had a pitiful expression, Taein only smiled faintly. He also felt unnecessarily sorry toward the ajumma who said she passed by the studio apartment building on her way home from work in the evenings because she was worried. Taein deeply bowed to the ajumma who said “I’ll be going now, call if there’s anything urgent.” It was much later when he straightened his body. By then, the ajumma was no longer visible either.
Suddenly he thought of Eundo’s kindergarten van that passed through this same road.
A pitiful child who only suffered growing up under some strange person.
Even though he stubbornly kept sending him to an expensive kindergarten, even Taein didn’t know how long this barely maintained daily life would last.
Everything was unstable and shaky.
Then, as if to prove that, he could see two sedans coming toward the house from the opposite direction. Since Taein was turning onto a different road, his steps quickened when he discovered the two sedans by turning around. He could immediately distinguish the car in front.
It was Jang Ihwan’s sedan that he hadn’t seen once since the incident at JAM that day. He didn’t know in detail how things had been wrapped up or how the man who resembled Gu Wanjae had taken him to the hotel. Taein walked quickly and hid behind a building. When he stuck out only his eyes to look that way, he could see the men who had gotten out in a group entering the building. Originally only Jang Ihwan would visit the house, and that bastard had never broken into the house. He would always call him from outside the building.
But now, not only had they come to the house in a group, but several gangsters even had baseball bats in their hands.
Taein lost strength and sat down right there. He gave up looking anymore and slid down to sit with his back against the outer wall. Would light come in? The sky was visible between buildings, but even that was cloudy today. There was nothing.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
