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He found out the next day that he was Jang Heungcheol. Jang Heungcheol persistently asked only questions like whether he was an Alpha or Omega, then turned around as if he had business to attend to. It seemed like he had something to do with the men who got out of the car. Something like backroom dealings that happened in Juhang. It was advantageous for him to pretend not to know even if he knew. Taein didn’t even glance at his hyung and left that vacant lot, and didn’t return to the inn either. He didn’t want to run into his hyung.
At the vacant lot, his hyung had even sniffed out his traits. Why did he meet such a person? Should he think he was grateful that he let him make money? After wandering around Juhang streets until early dawn and entering the inn, the corridor was empty.
His hyung’s room door was also wide open. Seeing the inside turned upside down like a mess, it seemed debt collectors had visited.
He didn’t know if it was misfortune or fortune.
After that day, his hyung disappeared without a trace and didn’t show up at the alcohol warehouse either. He thought he might not be able to do this job anymore, but since his hyung quit first, he didn’t have to worry about that.
Was it fortunate after all?
Anyway, he had come this far.
Once a day, such thoughts would get tangled up, and today it was on his way home from work.
Jang Heungcheol and Jang Ihwan, debt, the hyung he met at the inn.
When one came to mind, the other would follow like a set. He should only think good thoughts and work hard to make money. If he went home feeling this bad, that energy would obviously transfer to other people too.
Taein stopped in front of a brick building and caught his breath for quite a while.
It was a 4-story building in total, and Taein’s home was located on the 3rd floor.
Since it was a building without an elevator, if you listened carefully from home, you could hear sounds like footsteps. Did he hear? Thinking absently, Taein checked the time on his phone. He must have had so many random thoughts because the time was approaching 6 o’clock.
Arriving in front of room 301, he opened the door lock cover. Just in case, he had set the number key very simply. Number 3 at the top right, 6 below it, 9 below that. Then from 9 back to 3. ‘369,963’ was the house password. Taein, who familiarly pressed the numbers, pressed the star symbol and covered it. Then he heard a simple sound followed by the unlocking sound.
When he carefully opened the door, the shoe cabinet and shoes, and the living room that also served as a bedroom…
“Hyung-ah….”
He should be able to see to the window, but a little kid blocked his view.
Taein lifted one corner of his mouth as if it was a familiar sight while taking off his shoes at the shoe cabinet.
“Who told you to wake up?”
“Hyung-ah woke me up.”
“When did I?”
“But hyung-ah, I missed you.”
Maybe the feeling of missing him was greater than feeling wronged, because the small but sturdy baby clung to his knees. The child’s face looking up while grabbing his thighs had some tiredness on it. Taein, who stroked that face with his hand, also touched the soft hair.
“Hey, you’ve made a magpie’s nest, what a mess.”
“Did magpies come by?”
“Yeah. On your head.”
“Then brush it off for me.”
“Making me do all sorts of things.”
Even while saying this, his hand stayed touching the child’s head. Taein had never said warm and pretty words from when the child was born until now. Sounds he’d never made in his life… It was a bit difficult to say such things with his mouth. The child was chubby and cute, but he didn’t know the exact way to express it. Taein, who touched the child’s head with an indifferent face, also softly touched the ears that seemed boneless.
“Kang Eundo’s ears are weird.”
“Ears?”
“Yeah. It’s like there are no bones in the ears.”
“Hyung-ah. If you touch them like that, Eundo’s ears will become mush.”
“Mush, hey… I told you not to say that word.”
Whatever he said, the kid would copy it, so lately Taein was being as careful as possible with his words. He didn’t even remember using words like “mush.” Probably about a month ago, there was a day when he was very sick, and that day while talking on the phone with someone, he seemed to have said that word. Maybe he used harsh words thinking the kid was asleep. There was a high possibility that he did that because his mind was fuzzy.
“Give a reason why it’s not allowed.”
“What?”
To Eundo who asked him not to go to work at night, asking if he really couldn’t not go, Taein often said “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t go to work.” The child had applied that in his own way. An absurd smile bloomed on Taein’s face.
“Don’t you have a reason?”
“Wouldn’t there be one? There is.”
It wasn’t like this recently, but until last year, Eundo cried a lot when he went to work. “Hyung-ah where are you going, hyung-ah kiss Eundo, hyung-ah dream of Eundo,” he would cry while holding onto the window. Then Taein would also feel touched for no reason and have to wear a gloomy expression while walking away with his back turned. That Eundo had only aged one more year, but now he was applying words to even deliver pointed remarks. Taein, who briefly thought of a reason, nodded and opened his mouth.
“Reason it’s not allowed. If you keep using such words, you’ll become a bad adult.”
“No.”
Already talking back. When Taein bit his lower lip with his teeth, Eundo copied that expression.
The small upper lip covered the lower lip, making a serious face.
He had to hold back laughter well here. Taein failed every time around this point. The upper lip sticking out like a beak was funny, but he even tried to furrow his brow like an adult, making laughter almost come out. Eventually, Taein quietly lowered his head, thought sad thoughts, then raised his face.
“Kang Eundo.”
“……”
“That’s a bad word. You can’t use it. If you curse and such, you’ll become a really bad person.”
“……”
“Do you know what bad is? Bad people… can’t do anything. They can’t eat delicious things, can’t have snowball fights in winter. Soccer that you like, playing with balls, you can’t do that either. No, you can’t do anything you like.”
The eyes that had been quiet until soccer rapidly lost energy at the words about not being able to do everything. The angry expression gradually lowered, and finally transparent drops fell. He kept saying “mush, mush” so much that he wanted to fix the speech habit a bit, but he hadn’t even started yet. Because Eundo cried too easily, Taein also stopped talking.
“Why are you crying, man?”
Actually, Taein didn’t know how to choose words delicately either. Words that stood out like “mush” were obviously bad, but he didn’t know that “man” or “hey” weren’t very affectionate words either. Getting used to outside life where curses were rampant, words that became like verbal habits just passed by. No one pointed them out either. Looking at Eundo with his lips turned down, Taein spread his two arms wide.
“Let’s just stop. I’ll use my hyung-ah chance.”
“Hyung-ah chance….”
Saying this, the approaching child buried his face deep in Taein’s embrace. It was the moment when Taein, who was in a half-kneeling position, fell backward helplessly. This baby was sturdy and strong. Seeing himself feel proud about such things, he thought he’d really become an ajusshi. Grinning at that thought, Taein brought his hand to the back of Eundo’s head.
“When will Kang Eundo grow up?”
“I’m… the biggest in kindergarten….”
“I know that….”
“But do I need to grow more?”
He could see the child asking such things with wet eyes.
Taein smiled lightly and stroked Eundo’s hair upward.
“Yeah. You need to grow more. Get taller. Your heart needs to get bigger too.”
“Heart….”
As if trying to see where the heart was, Eundo looked down at his own chest.
“The heart isn’t there.”
“Yes. This is my heart… hyung-ah.”
“Right. Make this really big.”
Taein put his hand on Eundo’s chest. Even if his development was good compared to kids his age, a kid was still a kid. The chest fit entirely in one hand. Eundo, who stuck out his tiny chest as much as possible, nodded and stretched out both arms. It meant he wanted to use the hyung-ah chance a bit more. While giving his embrace, Taein muttered like this:
“Piggy Eundo….”
“Eundo is not a piggy….”
“I know…. I’ll say you’re less of a piggy….”
“What’s that….”
“There’s such a thing.”
“…Is it a secret?”
“Yeah.”
“…It’s okay. Eundo also… has many secrets….”
“You have secrets? What are they?”
“…How can I tell a secret….”
After saying he had secrets, Eundo dozed off nodding. The strength drained from the hands that held his body tightly. If he came in around 5 o’clock, the child would also sleep frantically, but when he arrived home after 6 o’clock, Eundo would often wake up.
He lifted up the child who must have been tired and moved him to the blanket. Looking at Eundo lying peacefully on the topper was the last task of the day. About three hours later, he had the schedule of waking up Eundo and sending him to kindergarten.
Taein stood quietly next to the topper and looked down at Eundo.
Fortunately, Eundo didn’t resemble him at all.
So he knew how to do many things by himself, was kind, and didn’t feel embarrassed about expressing himself.
Rather than registering as a child on the family register, registering as siblings was easier so he chose that method, but as time passed, he considered it one of the good things he’d done.
Keeping such a pretty child like Eundo by his side was greed.
The more he liked Eundo, the more attached he became to the child, the more he wondered what it would have been like if this child had met smart, wealthy, cultured parents. How wicked his greed that coexisted with such feelings must be. Taein really hated himself for pretending not to know while knowing everything. He wanted to send Eundo to a good place for the child’s sake, but he wasn’t confident yet. Actually, he’d been dragging time like this since Eundo was born.
Just one month.
Just one year.
Just until he’s three.
And then Eundo became five years old.
Wicked bastard. Selfish son of a bitch.
Taein cursed at himself and turned around. Still, he didn’t want to see Eundo’s sixth year. With a bitter face, Taein entered the bathroom and washed his face without even turning on the light.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
