105
The man who introduced himself as President Jeong said he did various kinds of work, but didn’t tell him specifically what he did.
‘We’ll try to find work that suits Taein-ssi.’
‘Something decent.’
Because Yoon Donghwan kept interjecting from the side, the conversation with the president kept starting and stopping. As the president rummaged through his phone saying he’d look for work, Donghwan kept throwing out his opinions like “something good” and “high pay,” which only disrupted concentration. If the president had made a displeased expression it would have been one thing, but every time Yoon Donghwan butted in like that, the president just laughed with his eyes saying “Ah, yes.” Only Taein saw the brief flashes of bewilderment.
He really has a talent for making people uncomfortable in various ways.
Though he had written a temporary contract, he thought the president might actually view him unfavorably. Whatever work it was, if it was legal work, he was prepared to risk his life doing it, but he was worried that prejudice might form beforehand. That’s how much Yoon Donghwan kept interfering. Sitting close beside him and occasionally adding arrogant remarks, did he think in his own way that he was speaking well for him? Throughout the interview, Taein narrowed his eyes or let out deep sighs that only he knew about.
The interview didn’t even take 20 minutes. Taein just quietly stared at Yoon Donghwan in front of the door the president had left through. In the meantime, he was saying something about how the two bowls of jjajangmyeon that had been delivered were getting soggy, so they should eat quickly first.
“Is that speaking well for me?”
“What. To the president?”
“That… speaking…”
“That much is sufficient. What more should I say?”
“It’s not about saying more. You shouldn’t have said anything.”
“When did you ask me to?”
“I never asked you to sit next to me and pick fights like that, spitting words at someone who looked older.”
“That’s because I’m acquainted with the president, so I spoke lightly since we’re close.”
Those words rather made his heart sink completely. Taein felt pathetic, wondering what he had been expecting. He should have sensed this much from when Donghwan stepped forward saying he’d make introductions. He should have roughly known that he would just make plausible-sounding words and not properly introduce him.
He wasn’t even angry anymore at Yoon Donghwan who was offering him a bowl of jjajangmyeon saying to eat. He had been afraid of double-dealing in job hunting, so for several days he hadn’t even looked into other work. He was planning to roughly finish with this man today and stop by every store on the way back.
He had been job hunting while avoiding the Dog Alley area as much as possible in case he ran into Jang Ihwan, but being cornered like this, he thought even that was a luxury. He just needed to keep his wits about him. During his time in Juhang, the Jang father and son had been interested in him on and off. There were many times when they would dig into his life like lunatics and spout nonsense about digging holes, but if he kept his body safe and lived carefully, it would be quiet again for a month or two.
“And this.”
He was thinking about the nearby geography, planning to avoid areas where thugs had been released, when Yoon Donghwan held out something.
It was a box with the latest smartphone printed on the front.
“What’s this?”
“You don’t have a phone. It’s inconvenient for me when I can’t contact you. Use this. Don’t lose it.”
“The one you gave me should be at JAM.”
“Yeah, I’ll go pick that up later or something. For now, use this.”
Yoon Donghwan, speaking as if it was nothing, seemed only interested in the jjajangmyeon. His eyes wouldn’t leave the bowl.
“The job will work out anyway. Whatever I said today, after seeing you, they can’t just pass you by.”
“……”
“Tomorrow or the day after. Wait until they contact you. I saved my number.”
Taein recalled how Donghwan had seemed strangely excited today. At first in front of the motel, he had seemed angry, but afterward he had seemed to be in a good mood. But perhaps because of something he heard, now he didn’t seem excited at all and wouldn’t even make eye contact with him. Taein felt complex emotions again toward the man who had even gotten him a phone directly. He sometimes felt sorry for Donghwan who would go wrong occasionally. It didn’t seem entirely Donghwan’s fault that he would show unreasonable kindness like buying meals or finding work, then get twisted once in a while.
What could he do when this was the world he’d lived in?
Because Donghwan’s first impression had been too good, he had been shocked by the prejudices and germophobia he revealed afterward, but right now he was the only man who was this helpful to his life.
Taein mixed some water into the jjajangmyeon that had hardened like rice cake and ate it. He happened to be a bit hungry too, so he just ate without judging the taste. It seemed like that’s what he should do for now.
Donghwan wiped his mouth with a tissue and looked at Taein. He occasionally smacked his lips while watching Taein eat the watery jjajangmyeon. He wasn’t as angry or sulky as Taein thought. Pretending to look elsewhere, he lowered his eyes and just fixed his gaze on Taein’s head. Then just before their eyes met, he turned his gaze to the jjajangmyeon and moved his chopsticks. It wasn’t because he was angry, but because he was nervous about something being discovered.
* * *
Taein came out of the Ilsim Capital building with his pockets full. In one pocket was a phone, in the other pocket were six 50,000 won bills. He had tried not to take the money, but seeing Donghwan write a short IOU on the spot saying to pay it all back later, he closed his mouth. If it was like that, he just needed to take it for now and pay it back. Rather, it was fortunate that he could borrow emergency money.
Originally Yoon Donghwan had said to wait an hour and then take his car to the motel, but Taein firmly refused.
Now that he had money, there were many things he could do.
Until now, he hadn’t had a single penny, and he had been getting by on coffee mix for his meals.
The only comfort had been that Eundo was eating well and doing well, but a few days ago, hearing Eundo’s tearful voice, he had impulsively blurted out words. I’ll come this week. Even though he might not have money by then, he had recklessly said such things trying to comfort the child. Adoption to a good family was adoption, but for now he had to do whatever he could within his means. It didn’t seem good for the child if he suddenly became cold either.
No. Was this his own greed? An excuse?
Taein raised one corner of his mouth as if mocking himself while stubbornly heading toward the bus stop.
On the way, he also stopped by a convenience store to break the money. There he bought chocolate that the child liked, character bread, and a snack gift set that caught his eye and paid. 18,000 won total. It would be more expensive than buying at a supermarket, but thinking it was going to the child anyway, he felt no regret. He just needed to eat less and save more.
He went to the bus stop right in front and waited for the bus. Had he waited about 10 minutes? A bus going to the library slowed down in front of the stop without picking up hardly any passengers. Taein got on the bus carrying a plastic bag so heavy his fingers might fall off. When he went to the back seat and settled down, the swaying feeling of the bus was particularly transmitted. Taein rummaged through the plastic bag whenever the signal stopped or when thoughts came to mind. Eundo would like this the most. This too.
Starting from a street without many people, it took quite a while to get to the main road.
Except for one black car behind, there were no particularly noticeable cars either.
Taein looked at the old tower sculpture that was Juhang’s symbol and turned his head. Now if he just passed that road, it would be quick to the library. The blue mountains before summer, the stream water flowing without drying up caught his eye briefly. It was when the bus that had been running for a while stopped after passing one bridge. Taein also got off the bus at that timing.
He had memories of coming here by taxi with Eundo.
The house that had become a mess had felt like a knife that had reached his throat. Thinking that if he made a mistake, it might cut even Eundo’s tender flesh, he had headed to the church building with the child without thinking. What kind of mindset had made him suddenly kneel, how had he pleaded while even mentioning his own childhood—such thoughts came only later. At the time, his head was filled only with thoughts of begging and kneeling.
That was all someone like him without money or connections could do for Eundo.
Taein, who had somehow come to face the cross directly, took deep breaths trying to calm his pounding heart. His face seemed too red, so he tried to tone that down too. Taein roughly rubbed his face while setting down the plastic bag for a moment. He happened to be dressed neatly for the interview. His outfit was also appropriate, so he could look cool to Eundo…
Before he could finish his thoughts, he heard the sound of a window opening behind him.
“Hyung!”
Eundo, who had been looking out the window the whole time, recognized his older brother’s back and called “Hyung!”
Taein turned around and fixed his gaze on one of the four windows. Eundo was reaching out his hand from the window, looking like all of his sadness and joy had been kneaded together. Because he didn’t want him to turn out like himself, because he hoped he would grow up as a normal child, he had kept the child by his side while desperately working his stupid brain. Had that been right? Taein’s eyes welled up as he looked at Eundo calling him, and for a moment he had such thoughts. Rather than being happy and glad, he felt sad and pitiful.
His life, where this was the best he could do, was fucking awful.
Taein forced a smile and strode toward the child.
“Kang Eundo, you should come out through the door.”
“Yes, hyung!”
Eundo nodded his head greatly and though he swayed, he could be seen quickly leaving the room. It was a room with many small desks, but there were no noticeable children. It seemed he had been alone, climbing on the desk and looking out the window. Not knowing when his older brother would come. Afraid his older brother might come while he was playing. A thin stream of water flowed down from Taein’s eyes as he looked at the room. Both you and I, we’re in trouble because we love each other too much. Even while thinking that and smiling, another tear fell.
Taein quickly wiped his face and took a deep breath.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
