“Wow. We wanted to eat with you, sunbae.”
“Why?”
“We have a lot of questions. We want to get to know you. You’re tall and handsome. Do you know Kang Dong-won from the engineering college?”
“Why are you flattering me like this?”
“We’re just curious……”
“About what?”
“You ask him.”
I watched as the guys, who had been trying to create a friendly atmosphere, hesitated and passed the question among themselves. I wondered why they were so hesitant.
After exchanging glances, one of them raised his hand and asked:
“Are you close with Hae-joon sunbae?”
“Not really close… just someone I’ve known for a long time……”
I couldn’t bring myself to say we were close, so I skirted around it. I recalled how I had gone around telling people that Hae-joon and I had been like brothers for a long time, just to dispel the rumors that he was gay. They let out a sigh of realization before cautiously asking,
“Is Hae-joon hyung really not gay?”
“Damn, that’s a fucking blunt question. Are you crazy?”
“Come on, we’re all curious. We heard things.”
I watched them whisper among themselves, then pressed my fingers to my forehead. Their tone made it sound like they were certain. This sunbae… Does he even care about the rumors? He said he hated being called gay. Then why did he go around explaining it? What the hell did he do to get caught?
I wondered if there was any point in defending him, but I sighed and answered,
“No.”
“Really? You don’t know either? Shouldn’t you tell him?”
“Why? What’s the big deal? Whatever you saw, forget it.”
“No, it’s not like that… We just thought Hae-joon hyung might actually be gay. You’re homophobic, right? It’s kind of gross to see you two together… We felt bad for you too.”
“……What?”
“We heard rumors going around.”
“What rumors?”
“That Hae-joon sunbae is gay. He was masturbating in the bathroom. We couldn’t not hear it—whether it was him or not.”
“……Who?”
“Who else? Obviously Hae-joon hyung.”
“……He must’ve been really desperate.”
I answered absently. This was something I couldn’t defend. The underclassman blinked slowly, then added,
“Siwoo… Siwoo… he was moaning your name.”
“……”
“There’s no one else in our department named Siwoo.”
He was jerking off while calling my name?
……Why would Hae-joon sunbae do that?
I swallowed hard, shaking my head in disbelief.
“You must’ve heard wrong.”
“We’re serious. We thought he was a psycho.”
“When did you hear it?”
“During nighttime overtime. When was it again?”
“Last week. It wasn’t that long ago. It was late, and only the two of us were there. I went home because I thought I left my wallet, but when I came back…”
“Was it Monday?”
“No, Tuesday, right?”
Tuesday. The day my girlfriend had her accident.
I suddenly remembered my number was saved in Hae-joon’s phone, even though I’d never given it to him. This was the same thought I’d had when Heon told me about Hae-joon’s identity. At the time, I’d just brushed it off as odd, but now the scattered pieces of information were falling into place like a puzzle.
Hae-joon and Jin-wook were family. Jin-wook was hiding his relationship with me for some reason and despised Hae-joon.
“Why the fuck do I have to clean up after him?”
I’d heard him say that. If Hae-joon was my stalker, it would explain why Jin-wook unblocked me on KakaoTalk without telling me. He knew his brother was stalking me and either tried to hide him or stop him. If he knew his brother’s victim was his friend, Baek Siwoo, he might’ve felt guilty or responsible. That’s what he meant by “cleaning up.”
That’s why he’d been lurking outside my place for a month, making sure the stalker didn’t show up.
Jin-wook had always been suspiciously attentive to the stalker. When I found out he was in the same class and group as Hae-joon, I even asked if he was crazy.
The stalker knew my schedule perfectly. Since we were in the same department, it wouldn’t have been hard to find out.
If the stalker was Hae-joon, everything made sense.
I’d stupidly told him I had a girlfriend.
A chill ran down my spine. I couldn’t just sit here eating chicken. I stared blankly at my underclassmen debating whether Hae-joon was gay, then suddenly stood up.
“Hyung, where are you going?”
“To work on an assignment.”
“……Are you mad? Sorry. That’s why I said not to talk about it.”
“No, thanks for telling me. But don’t spread it around. I’ll handle it.”
“……Okay.”
Even if I was sure, it was still just a hunch. I didn’t want rumors flying. I left the dazed underclassmen and returned to the workshop. In the back corner, I saw Hae-joon sunbae working. I sat next to him as if nothing were wrong.
“You’re back?”
“Yeah.”
“There’s no design here, so just make these two. Send me the files when you’re done.”
“……”
My stalker. He’d jerked off calling my name. He’d cursed my girlfriend. How long had he been stalking me? I’d wanted to know so badly, but now that I did, sitting next to him made my skin crawl.
I stared at the design for a long time, stealing glances at Hae-joon, waiting for a chance.
I had so many questions.
Did you send me those Kakao messages? How long have you been watching me? Did you hurt my girlfriend? Do you like me? Was joining my group on purpose? Are you my stalker?
The underclassmen finished their chicken and returned to work. Hae-joon got up, bought two sodas from the vending machine, and came back.
The underclassmen glanced at me worriedly, said they were leaving, and it had been over five hours, but I still couldn’t bring myself to ask Hae-joon anything.
With the underclassmen around, I couldn’t find the right moment. After they left, I was too scared to be alone with him. A stalker, possibly a would-be murderer. I was terrified.
The night dragged on until dawn.
When sunlight finally seeped through the blackout curtains, I felt relief. I’d made it through the night. My palms were sweaty, even though it wasn’t hot.
Hae-joon was still working on his computer. I rubbed between my eyebrows. I was exhausted. After six hours of focusing only on the assignment, he didn’t look like someone who’d jerked off calling my name.
That’s why I never suspected him. Only at dawn did I finally gather the courage to speak.
“Sunbae.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re gay, aren’t you?”
Hae-joon stopped working and looked at me. He raised an eyebrow.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
