Baseok sunbae wiped my flushed face with his hand and cautiously added,
“Just trying to warn you… but looking at you today, the way you act… is a bit much.”
“What do you mean?”
“That guy who touched your phone back then.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s Cha Jin-wook.”
***
I dug my nails into my wrist. When I came to my senses, a sticky fluid was oozing out. I pressed my nose to my wrist and sniffed. The stench was so strong it made my nose burn. I knew scratching would only make it worse, but I couldn’t stop. I had to drain all the filth. I wanted to be clean. The fact that I had felt pleasure during an act with a man was proof my body was tainted. I scratched and bit at my smelly wrist, sucking the fluid and spitting it out beside the bed. They say this is what you do when bitten by a venomous snake. After repeating this dozens of times, I collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep.
When I woke up again, I couldn’t move my hands properly. It was too dark to see, but my arms felt tightly bound. My wrists were burning. From my forearms to the backs of my hands, they were wrapped tightly in cloth. The man must have come while I was asleep. How could I have slept through him doing this to me? I bit my lip and tugged at my arms. The moment I managed to lift them slightly, they snapped back like a rubber band.
“Now my arms too, after my legs. Are you planning to tie up my whole body?”
“I had no choice.”
I flinched at the voice answering my muttering and looked around frantically. The man was sitting in a chair beside my bed. He stood up and slowly stroked my cheek in the darkness. A shiver ran down my spine where his fingers touched, as if a bug were crawling on me. I turned my head desperately to avoid his hand, but he didn’t pull away, as if savoring the lingering touch.
“Siwoo.”
Hearing my name from him made me nauseous. I gritted my teeth and warned him,
“Don’t call me that.”
“Were you angry when you said that?”
“…….”
“Don’t do that again. Seeing you hurt made my heart drop.”
As if he hadn’t just beaten me so hard I thought I might die. Did he think he had the right to worry about my body now? My stomach churned at his selfishness, and my vision blurred. I felt like I was on a small boat in the middle of the ocean, seasick.
Gagging, I leaned over and vomited beside the pillow, my arms still bound, one twisted behind my back.
“Keok—!”
The bile blocked my airway, making it impossible to breathe. The man grabbed my collar, lifting me up so I could breathe again, and patted my back.
“You haven’t eaten in a while. There’s nothing left to throw up.”
“Ugh, ugh.”
“Not a pleasant feeling, is it?”
Once I could breathe again, I vomited once more. He knew it wasn’t because I had eaten something or because of what I had eaten. I glared at him with resentful eyes as spit dripped from my mouth. His face was still invisible, and the room was pitch black.
The man quietly wiped my vomit and stroked my lips. The stench was unbearable. I had tried so hard to get rid of the smell before bed, but my body still reeked of rot.
After a pause, the man stroked my cloth-wrapped wrist, then slipped his fingers under the cloth and poked at the raw, chewed flesh. I winced and groaned at the sharp pain of his nails digging into my torn skin.
“Ugh……!”
“If you keep doing this, I might not be able to keep my promise not to hurt you in the future.”
“Don’t! Ah, it hurts……!”
The man pried and twisted the wound.
The pain brought tears to my eyes. I clenched the bedsheet with my good hand and endured it.
“……It, it hurts. It hurts……!”
“Promise me you won’t hurt yourself again.”
“I don’t want to! Ah, ugh. It’s my body. I’ll do what I want. If you touch me again, I’ll fucking die!”
I didn’t mean it. I didn’t want to die yet.
The man stopped prodding the wound and fell silent. The longer the silence lasted, the more anxious I became. I shrank back, watching his reaction.
The silence was broken by the man’s deflating laugh. Suddenly, the mattress sank. He was climbing onto the bed. I tried to kick him with my shackled leg, but the heavy chain slowed me down, and he caught my leg.
He held my legs apart and sat between them. As he pulled down his pants and groped my buttocks, I struggled with both arms.
“……Don’t! Please! I hate it!”
His hand suddenly plunged into my hole, and I gasped at the sharp, tingling pain. The memory of yesterday’s pleasure, his cock piercing my insides, flashed through my mind. I shuddered, trying not to feel his touch.
Tears streamed down my face as I begged in a trembling voice, bound and helpless, terrified of vomiting again from the horror.
“I hate it……. I hate it……. Don’t…….”
The man looked down at me for a moment, then sighed. He stopped moving his hand inside me and spoke in a resigned tone.
“Fine. I get it. I lost. Let’s compromise a little.”
Compromise……. Compromise.
Only after repeating his words in my head did I realize that for the first time since being imprisoned here, he had taken a step back. I panted, trying to calm my trembling body. The man patiently waited for my shaking to subside. After several deep breaths, I finally calmed down and asked in a hoarse voice,
“Compromise……?”
“We can’t keep having you vomit and hurt yourself. Let’s address the issues between us. That’s what people do, right? Oh, you still don’t understand. Let’s call it a meeting.”
The conversation he had tried dozens of times before. He had never given me a proper answer. But the thought of delaying this hellish time, even just a little, made me nod slowly. The man, still with his finger inside me, lazily asked,
“I’ll go first.”
“…….”
“You say you hate it every day. Every time you say you hate it, I try to hit you to make you stop, but you don’t listen, and it’s exhausting. Why do you hate it so much? What do you hate about it?”
“What kind of question is that? I hate all of it.”
“Do you hate feeling good?”
As he spoke, he pressed hard on the spot that had given me pleasure all yesterday. I rubbed the back of my head against the pillow and sobbed, biting my lips to keep from making a sound. My lips, which had barely healed from being bitten before, split open again. Even though my lips stung and hurt, I suppressed my voice, and the man grumbled in dissatisfaction.
“I can’t compromise on this. Sex is necessary between us.”
With that, he started moving his hand again. The deliberate motion to stretch my hole made me whimper softly. Was he joking? It felt like he was playing with me, creating a tiny hope only to crush it, stomp on it, and shove it back in to drive me insane. I pressed down the boiling rage, my eyes bloodshot, and screamed,
“I hate being locked up here, I hate you giving me orders and hitting me! The only thing I want is to get out of here! Please, let me out. I’m at my limit. I feel like I’m going crazy. The world sometimes twists and flips. If this keeps up, I’ll lose my mind! Please……. Please…….”
As I started sobbing, the man’s movements slowed. His finger’s thrusting grew weaker and then stopped. Though I couldn’t see anything in the dark, I could tell he was deep in thought.
The man called my name softly, as if murmuring to himself.
“Siwoo, does saying you hate it like a child solve anything? You have to try to feel better.”
“…….”
“That’s why I said I’d give you a reward. If you behave and listen to me for five days, I’ll install a lightbulb. If you behave for a month, I’ll remove the shackles. If it’s too hard, I can shorten the time a bit. I’ll install the lightbulb right away. How about three weeks for the shackles?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
