# Chapter 44
Despite finding it spicy, Heerim finished the ramen I made, even drinking all the broth. Seeing his swollen lips, it looked more like he was doing one of those “spicy food challenges” trending on video platforms rather than curing a hangover, and I had to suppress my laughter.
After washing his own dishes, Heerim watched me prepare for work. Having him in my living space rather than the office felt really strange. His tall stature and build made my already small home look even smaller. The familiar space felt unfamiliar. A pleasant tension enveloped me.
“Do you remember what happened yesterday?”
I asked Heerim, who was sitting blankly and watching me after coming out of the bathroom from washing his face. His expression stiffened, and embarrassment appeared on his face.
“Not in detail, just bits and pieces.”
“What and how much did you drink… I was really surprised yesterday. Even if I hadn’t read your messages, still…”
“…I’m sorry. I think I lost my mind for a moment. Did I do anything weird last night?”
I shook my head, recalling the previous night. If anyone did anything weird, it was me, not Heerim. Not only did I let him into my house, but I also fell asleep with him on a narrow mattress. I had momentarily lost my mind too. And I hadn’t even been drinking.
“Don’t do that again next time.”
I meant to speak firmly, but my tone softened due to embarrassment and shame. Heerim didn’t answer but gave a bitter smile.
“We should probably head out soon. I’ll give you some clothes to wear, so wash up and come out.”
After confirming that Heerim had gone into the bathroom, I rummaged through the storage box containing my clothes. It seemed unpleasant to wear the same clothes he’d slept in to work.
“This would be too small… What should I give him?”
Although I wasn’t small myself, I couldn’t find anything that would fit Heerim. To begin with, I didn’t have many clothes. With no other option, I took out a dark brown gym uniform from my high school days. Despite having graduated quite some time ago, I often wore it as loungewear at home. Fortunately, I had washed it clean two days ago.
“Heerim. I’ve left clothes by the door. Change into these.”
“Okay.”
After giving Heerim the clothes, I changed my own outfit. Soon, Heerim came out of the bathroom. Though I thought the gym uniform would be roomy enough, the sleeves were about a handspan too short. Even though the weather had gotten warmer, it seemed unreasonable to send him outside like that.
“Wasn’t there extra clothing in the break room? For now, maybe you should wear yesterday’s clothes and change at the office…”
“No. I’ll just wear this.”
Heerim shook his head with a faint smile.
“Why? It’s too small.”
“I like that it smells like you.”
Heerim pulled down the short sleeves and sniffed the scent coming from the clothes. I was momentarily speechless. My face grew hot.
“It-it’s not my smell. It must be the detergent.”
“It’s different from that. It smells like you.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Smell it yourself.”
Heerim stepped closer to me and stretched out his arm. His large hand gripping the gym uniform sleeve suddenly approached my face.
“Go on.”
As I tried to step back, Heerim moved even closer to me. The rough cuff of the gym uniform touched just under my nose.
“See? It’s me, right?”
“…I can’t tell.”
I couldn’t smell anything besides the ordinary detergent scent. Instead, rather than my smell, the scent of Heerim standing right in front of me was overwhelming. It was a heavy woody fragrance.
“Why can’t you tell? It’s a soft and warm scent… Haah.”
Before I knew it, Heerim’s face was touching my neck. He buried his forehead in my collarbone and took a long breath in, then exhaled.
“H-Heerim. Wait.”
Just as Heerim seemed to be smelling my scent, I felt dizzy from his fragrance. My already heated body became even hotter from Heerim’s ticklish and warm breath.
“Jaeo hyung.”
Heerim, who had been smelling me for a while, raised his head. His voice, low and downcast like I’d heard in the morning, shook my weakened heart.
“The line you drew.”
“…”
“What happens if I cross it?”
Heerim gently stroked my earlobe as he spoke. I looked at him with a dazed expression. I hadn’t thought that far.
“I know you don’t trust me.”
I met Heerim’s gaze. His light brown eyes were swallowing me whole. Whenever I met these eyes, I felt immobilized. It was the same now.
“But can’t you trust me anyway?”
“…”
“I’ll tell you someday. Everything. All of it. But not now. Please wait a little until then.”
Please. Heerim’s breath trembled intermittently.
The person whose inner thoughts I could never understand now seemed vulnerable. The Heerim before me had peeled away a layer of his exterior and was revealing himself.
“I want to cross the line… you drew.”
It felt more sincere than simply saying “I like you.” I still couldn’t say anything. My mind was foggy, and my chest felt tight. With Heerim’s intense scent combined with his confession, my rationality was about to collapse.
“I was trying not to be greedy beyond this point, but you keep getting further away, and it’s driving me crazy!”
Just as my reason was crumbling, so was Heerim’s. This was the first time I had seen him like this since meeting him.
“…”
“…”
A silence filled with tension and anxiety passed between us.
“Jaeo…”
It was the moment when Heerim, unable to bear my silence, was about to speak first. An uncontrollable storm raged within me.
“Hyung? Mmph…!”
I reached out, grabbed Heerim’s shoulders, and kissed him. The thought didn’t pass through my brain. An impulse born from instinct was moving me.
“Hnngh.”
A passionate moan escaped through Heerim’s teeth. I embraced Heerim’s neck and continued the clumsy kiss. Heerim’s arms, which had been flailing in surprise, now wrapped around my waist. This wasn’t Guiding. It was a perfect kiss.
I had crossed the line I had drawn. Not only had I crossed it, but the boundary of the line itself had blurred. Heerim asked me to trust him, but I don’t know if I can trust him. But well…
We’ll figure it out somehow.
***
“Heerim. It’s a bit embarrassing to ask now, but what’s your surname? I’ve never heard your family name while working together.”
“My surname?”
We were sitting side by side on a two-seater bus on our way to the company. I asked Heerim what I had intended to ask the night before.
“What do you think would suit me?”
Heerim, who had been playing with my hand as if molding clay, asked me in return.
“What? Well… Your first name is pretty, so I think anything would work.”
“Then give me one you like. I’ll make that my surname.”
I was about to ask how he could say that, but then I closed my mouth, feeling I understood something. Heerim had said he had never attended school. Nor did he seem to have been homeschooled. That’s why I had suspected Heerim might have been abused by his parents as a child. If that was true, he wouldn’t want to use the surname his parents gave him. Believing that Heerim would tell me about this someday, I cast my gaze out the bus window.
“South Korea. No longer a safe zone from the Rift.”
News about last night’s Rift was being displayed on a large electronic billboard of a newspaper building. It was the billboard of a newspaper that often published articles criticizing the government. Perhaps that’s why they were reporting the news with a different focus than everyone else, who had been praising the NECC’s quick response and handling of the situation.
“Tch. Director Kim Hyungjin takes care of everything anyway, so why worry unnecessarily?! This is why I can’t read newspapers without principles. Tsk, tsk.”
Some man sitting on the bus clicked his tongue loudly after looking at the billboard. His voice was so loud that we could hear it from the back where we were sitting. I glanced furtively at Heerim. Knowing that he held great hostility toward the NECC, I felt uneasy.
“Hm? Why are you looking at me?”
“Just… It’s nothing.”
Whether he hadn’t heard the man’s words or not, Heerim seemed unbothered. Rather, he wore a noticeably bright expression. He was still tightly holding my hand, which he had been fidgeting with.
I felt foolish for thinking I couldn’t understand Heerim’s inner thoughts because I could clearly tell what he was thinking now.
“Do you like me that much?”
“Yes. I do.”
Though I had asked lightly, half-jokingly, Heerim answered very seriously, like someone swearing to tell only the truth in court. I suddenly became curious.
For me, Heerim had gradually infiltrated my ordinary life, and before I knew it, I had come to like him. But Heerim was different. From the beginning, he had shown excessive affection and interest in me.
Because of his attitude, I initially thought he had invited me to the Earth Peace Research Institute knowing I was a Guide, but Heerim had said he didn’t know I was a Guide. Then why? Why did he approach me? It was something that could make me suspect he might have other motives. But recalling Heerim’s words and actions earlier, it was clear that he liked me.
So I became purely curious. Why did he like me?
“Why? Is it really because I’m a Guide?”
“No! I’ve liked you for a long time.”
“For a long time? Since when exactly?”
“I-I saw you when you were working part-time at the café. I fell for you then.”
“…”
The explanation felt somehow awkward and had gaps. If he saw me when I was working at the café, it meant he had visited where I was working, but I had no memory of seeing a customer with Heerim’s appearance.
“Well. I am quite handsome.”
I said jokingly while holding Heerim’s hand. Heerim’s body temperature, which seemed slightly higher than usual, was transmitted directly to me. I was just going to trust Heerim.
Because I had decided to do so.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
