31
Doun absentmindedly started to enter the room together, then belatedly came to his senses and asked back.
“Wait a minute. Are you saying we should lie down and sleep in the same bed?”
“Where have you seen a case where the homeowner sleeps in the living room and the guest sleeps in the master bedroom? Ah, I’m tired… Let’s hurry and go sleep, us.”
Clearly at the dining table his speech had been dragging and his voice dripping with fatigue, right? Now his voice strangely sounded very clear. At this point, even someone as dense as Doun was beginning to suspect that Samin was pulling a scam.
“Hey. Be honest. You’re not sleepy at all right now.”
“Yaaawn… That’s not true…? I’m really so tired that I barely managed to wash my face in the bathroom before coming out. Touch my face. It’s not even dry yet… I was just lying face-down on the dining table for a moment, but hyung told me to get up so I woke up.”
Samin quickly grabbed Doun’s hand and brought it to his face. Doun, who ended up touching Samin’s face in the confusion, wiggled his fingers while lost in thought.
‘It does seem kind of moist like he says…? But there should have been towels in that bathroom too, so why did he come out without even wiping? Isn’t this all just him acting up?’
He had suspicions but no evidence. He knew he shouldn’t hastily suspect people, but there was something fishy about it, so he couldn’t easily give an agreeable answer.
Samin, who caught Doun’s hesitation like a ghost, quickly pushed him into the room while muttering.
“We both worked hard today, so let’s sleep first… and talk tomorrow, tomorrow.”
Once he was swept up in the momentum, reaching the bed was instantaneous. Doun became sulky. Somehow, even though he was the homeowner, he felt like he was being pushed around. While Doun fidgeted awkwardly since this was the first time someone other than the cleaning helper had entered his room, making him strangely self-conscious, Samin was inwardly cheering.
‘Shit. This is the bedroom where our hyung sleeps and wakes up…!’
In the center of the cool and comfortable room with the air conditioning running. There was a large bed where two adult men could easily lie down and sleep. It was a king-size bed that the sucker Lee Doun had been swayed by the sales staff’s dazzling speech at the furniture store, tried lying on once, and immediately purchased.
The well-arranged bedding even gave off the cozy scent of freshly laundered fabric softener. In the end, Samin had to recite the Heart Sutra to calm his rising worldly desires. Though he only knew a few verses, so he had to keep reciting the same parts.
“Fine. Just sleep here comfortably by yourself. I’ll sleep in the living room.”
Doun refused once more and quickly sat Samin on the bed. If he stayed in the same place any longer, he’d definitely get caught up in that strange rhetoric and do as that guy wanted.
As he hurried to leave for the living room, his wrist was suddenly grabbed firmly. For someone who had been pretending to be sleepy, it was incredibly swift and precise hand movement.
“I can’t sleep properly in unfamiliar places. I think I need someone I know next to me.”
“…No, just sleep comfortably by yourself. Geez.”
Doun looked down at Samin with narrowed eyes. His face still looked tired, but his actions were strangely quick.
“You’re not sleepy. You’re acting up right now, aren’t you?”
“No. Ah, that’s right. Hyung. Do you have clothes I can change into? It feels a bit wrong to lie on the bed wearing these after going in and out of the tower…”
Samin pointed at his clothes with his chin. Doun scratched his cheek while not letting go of his suspicions to the end.
Apart from the strangely obvious scheming, he hadn’t thought about clothes to change into. Come to think of it, his own clothes were still the same too.
“…Wait a moment. There should be some shirts I don’t wear.”
“Pants too, while you’re at it.”
“Hey. Can’t you just go home?”
“You want me to drive drowsy?”
“You could call a designated driver.”
“That’s really heartless. Then I’d have to drive here again tomorrow to talk with hyung?”
Huh. When you put it that way, doesn’t that make sense too? After blinking a couple times, Doun thought that wouldn’t be right either and eventually nodded with a sulky face.
“…Wait. I’ll look for some first.”
He somehow felt like he’d been properly caught up in it, but there was no other way. Who could he blame for being born this way? Doun pressed his lips together tightly and disappeared into the dressing room.
The faint sounds of drawers opening and clothes being rummaged through could be heard. Samin finally couldn’t hold back and punched the pillow.
‘Look at that! He says he doesn’t want to but when I insist, he ends up doing everything! His personality is so soft that those fucking guild bastards latched onto him and sucked him dry to the bone! Aaaah! Shit!’
Even though Doun’s soft personality was endearing, thinking of his past made his blood boil in reverse. But there was no time to express anger. Samin calmed his rough breathing and quickly looked around the room. Since it would be hard to look around openly once Doun returned, now was the only time to appreciate it.
‘But the bedroom is too empty… There’s only the bed and one nightstand. It’s clean but too bleak. Does our hyung like minimalist interior design?’
By the time Samin was mulling over his brief impressions, Doun had returned from the dressing room with a t-shirt and cotton pants that had been too big for him to wear.
“I brought the biggest ones I had, but I don’t know if they’ll fit.”
“I’ll wear them and sleep even if they don’t fit.”
“There’s no need to go that far…”
When Doun handed over the clothes, Samin quickly started to take off his shirt but hesitated.
“Hyung… Are you going to watch me change clothes from there? It’s a bit embarrassing…”
“What’s the big deal between guys?”
Doun’s attitude seemed more bewildered than nonchalant. He really looked like he was wondering what could possibly happen from guys seeing each other change clothes. Samin inwardly felt disappointed and pouted.
“No, hyung is too indifferent at times like this.”
“More nonsense.”
Frowning, Doun realized that his own clothes were still the same. He had come out without changing because he was thinking about finding clothes for his guest to change into.
“I’ll go change my clothes too, so get changed.”
“Yes.”
Leaving Samin behind, Doun shut himself back in the dressing room. After changing into a loose-fitting t-shirt and cotton pants that he usually wore as pajamas, he pressed his lips together tightly when he came out. Samin, who had efficiently changed into the t-shirt and pants he’d given him, was standing there fidgeting.
“Hyung. The clothes are too small…?”
The t-shirt, short enough to expose his abs, was squeezed on tight enough that it seemed amazing he’d managed to stuff his body into it, and the pants ended at his calves entirely. What kind of sight was this?
“…Hyung. You’re holding back laughter right now, aren’t you.”
“No.”
“Your voice is trembling a bit?”
“…I said no.”
Doun averted his gaze and muttered while clenching his molars tightly. Thinking this wouldn’t work at all, just as he was trying to slip past the bed and escape outside the room, Samin quickly embraced Doun’s waist and laid him down on the bed.
“Hey!”
“Ah, I don’t know. I’m tired. I won’t do anything, so let’s just sleep already.”
“Let go of this hand! Your hand on my waist, ugh, take it off!”
“I’ll let go if you say you’ll sleep here. Will you sleep here?”
His arm strength was so strong that the more he struggled, the more his own strength began to drain instead. Finally, Doun, who was panting, tapped Samin’s forearm as if surrendering.
“I got it. You crazy bastard. Let go of this quickly!”
“You agreed to sleep together? A man doesn’t say two different things with one mouth, right?”
“Fine! I got it!”
When he shouted loudly, only then did the hand wrapped around his waist slowly release. Doun let out a long sigh and buried his head in the pillow placed in the corner.
“You lied about being sleepy and about having something to say, didn’t you?”
At the muffled interrogation buried in the pillow, Samin chuckled and answered.
“Wow. You figured that out now? Hyung, you really can’t carelessly guarantee things for people anywhere. Even if hyung was only wearing underwear, if someone passing by said they were cold, you’d seem like the type to take even that off for them.”
“…Are you done talking?”
“No. There’s still a lot left.”
He felt like he might burst from the nonchalant response. Doun completely forgot about being depressed and self-loathing until just moments ago, and was just busy fuming because he was angry at himself for being fooled and pushed around by Samin.
“Hyung said it yourself. What could happen between guys?”
“…Yeah.”
“Nothing will happen, so sleep well.”
“You said crying people were your type, right? How am I supposed to sleep with a guy next to me who said he wants to date me?”
“…Oh. I didn’t think you’d remember that.”
Samin muttered with a dazed expression. He hadn’t thought Doun would remember the confession he’d blurted out in the park. Even if he did remember, he was the type to dismiss it as nonsense and not even be conscious of it.
Just until a moment ago, he’d been giving off vibes that he thought of him as just another human of the same gender, staring blankly while he changed clothes, yet he’d say something like this.
“Don’t worry and sleep comfortably. I’m not a shameless person who touches people while they’re sleeping.”
“That’s funny. How am I supposed to trust a guy who found out someone’s phone number on his own and sent stalker-like texts?”
“When did you say you trusted my proud guild members, huh? Where did the person who said he’d come directly to the guild go?”
“…”
Doun fell silent, at a loss for words at Samin’s rebuttal.
‘Does this guy attend some kind of speech academy?’
Every time they just exchanged words, he’d get caught up and usually couldn’t even break even. No matter how lacking his speech skills were and how weak his spirit was, strangely whenever they clashed, it felt like a fight he’d definitely lose.
“I really won’t do anything weird. I threw a tantrum on purpose because I didn’t want to chase the homeowner to the living room.”
“…Really?”
“Of course.”
Only then did Doun toss and turn to get into position. Come to think of it, nothing was likely to happen between guys sleeping together. At most, they might have bad sleeping habits and throw a few punches while sleeping.
As his mind slowly began to relax, unfamiliar sounds became clearly audible in his ears. The rustling sound of blankets, irregular breathing, even the unfamiliar body heat that had settled in a place that was always emptily vacant.
“Hyung, are you asleep?”
“No.”
“What are you thinking about right now?”
“Just thinking that I wish you’d sleep quietly.”
“Aw, that’s too much.”
Along with Samin’s giggling response came the sound of slight tossing. Since he was lying with his back turned, he couldn’t tell what position Samin was lying in next to him, but judging by his usual personality, he was probably lying as comfortably as if it were his own home.
‘I got caught up again.’
Doun pouted for no reason. He thought he’d been careful not to get caught up, but when he came to his senses, he was often swept up by Samin.
When he first went to find him, when he returned to the tower, and even now.
“…You know.”
When Doun hesitated and began to speak, an answer came back as if it had been waiting.
“Yes.”
“Aren’t I too pathetic?”
In the dark room with only one dim light. A self-deprecating voice settled gloomily in a low tone. Samin slowly exhaled and asked.
“Why do you think that?”
“A guy who’s old enough looks disgusting groveling after being pushed around by others.”
The words that leaked out matter-of-factly were stale self-deprecation. As if he’d thought this way for quite a long time, there was no hesitation at all in the words he spoke.
“That incident too… Quite some time has passed but I seem to be the only one who can’t get over it… Others are living well…”
Doun muttered while scratching the sheet with his fingernails. He knew well that he was pathetic. So rather, he wanted to hear the confirmation from someone else’s mouth that ‘Lee Doun is frustrating and disgusting.’ He wanted to change by facing himself who looked like a fool in others’ eyes too.
However, from Samin’s mouth, who seemed likely to give that confirmation, an unexpected story from the past popped out.
“Hyung. When I was young before.”
“…”
“My cousin hyung kept bullying me saying I was annoying because I was cute and handsome, and I couldn’t stand it so I fought terribly with that hyung. We pulled each other’s hair, punched each other. Then we got caught, but our parents thought I was in the wrong and only scolded me terribly.”
“…Yeah.”
“But later when they found out my cousin hyung was wrong, they belatedly apologized to me. At that time, saying they were sorry for scolding me without listening to my story.”
“…”
“That was when I was eight years old, and I’m twenty-four this year. It was 16 years ago, but even now sometimes when I think about that day while sleeping, I get so sad. Tears come out too. Back then I thought my parents were the only ones on my side in the world, but how could they not believe their own son’s words and only believe my cousin hyung’s words – I think things like that too.”
“…”
“I’m like this even about something from 16 years ago, but hyung, it hasn’t been that long since you went through that.”
“…”
“It’s natural for hyung to be unable to trust people and be wary first. And those bastards who manipulated a good person deserve to die. No one thinks the person who was manipulated is pathetic. Everyone’s too busy cursing the bad guys.”
A serious voice with not a trace of playfulness piled up carefully in Doun’s ears. After remaining silent for a while, he asked back in a somewhat choked voice.
“…Do you really think so?”
“Yeah. Really.”
At the firm voice giving him certainty, Doun swallowed down the heavy emotion beyond his throat. The quiet bedroom shrouded in darkness. A voice choked as if holding back tears scattered.
“Samin.”
“…Yes.”
“Thank you.”
Samin didn’t answer. Doun also fell silent after those words. It was a midsummer night deepening when neither of them could easily fall asleep.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
