“That’s…”
Lucas’s words faltered for a moment as he opened his mouth. He had expected some resistance, but not to this degree. Moreover, Iberis was already aware of the dangers of imprinting.
Lucas couldn’t hide his bewildered expression as he bit his lower lip. Originally, he had planned to downplay the disadvantages of imprinting and emphasize its advantages, but things had gone awry before he could even start.
“If I were to leave first, and you had to spend the rest of your life in such pain… I wouldn’t be able to rest in peace even after death.”
Iberis calmly explained his reasons for opposition while looking at the flustered Lucas. Losing a loved one is as painful as having flesh torn from your body. He knew this well, as he still hadn’t overcome the deaths of his mother and fallen comrades.
That’s why he was even more afraid. The pain that impacts even the soul, preventing one from living a normal life, would be on a different level. Even without imprinting, the loss and despair of losing a partner would be painful enough, so why bear an even greater burden?
“Even if I succeed in imprinting and my body recovers, I’d probably live in anxiety, imagining the day I’d have to leave you behind. Our job is inherently dangerous and involves long distances.”
“…”
“Above all, if it becomes known that we’ve imprinted, you’ll be in danger. As you know, I have many enemies. They’d likely target you rather than me.”
Iberis stated firmly. There was already the example of Carlos. Although it hadn’t been announced to the world yet, Yuki, who had been recruited by an intelligence agent infiltrating the Mars Guild, had confessed that the incident caused by Carlos was aimed at Lucas. The goal was to weaken Iberis again by eliminating the guide who had restored his health.
In situations where one had to choose between eliminating an Esper or a guide, nine times out of ten, they would choose the latter. While there were exceptional cases, it was hard to deny that on average, guides’ combat abilities were inferior to those of Espers.
There was no reason to take the difficult path when an easier one was available, so when attacking paired ability users, guides were usually the target.
“…We could keep the imprinting a secret. That’s what everyone does, actually.”
Lucas, who had been silent for a moment, finally voiced his counterargument. As he said, Espers and guides who had imprinted typically kept it a secret, except in cases where it was unavoidably disclosed. This was because, given the nature of ability users, it was common to make enemies in their line of work.
“There’s no such thing as a perfect secret in this world. Even if we keep quiet, as we continue to be together, people will start to suspect that we might be name partners or that we’ve imprinted. The more people who suspect, the higher the risk of it being exposed.”
Iberis showed a negative reaction to the idea of keeping the imprinting a secret.
“Moreover, we’re an official pair. We have to report our physical examination results and matching rate to the higher-ups every year. If we imprint, our matching rate would become 100%. Even if we try to keep it a secret, wouldn’t everyone figure it out when they see that?”
Lucas’s mouth clamped shut at this irrefutable argument. Of course, there were cases where name partners achieved a 100% matching rate even without imprinting, but it was extremely rare. Even if it wasn’t imprinting, people would almost certainly notice that they were name partners just by looking at the matching rate.
Once that happened, rumors would spread in an instant. Even if people were told to keep quiet, someone was bound to break that silence and talk. There was no subject that made tongues itch more than other people’s secrets.
Lucas’s face darkened as he envisioned the situation. When applying to be an official pair, he had considered revealing that they were name partners if necessary, but there was a clear difference between voluntarily disclosing information and having it exposed.
Moreover, apart from the two secret detailed examinations done at the military hospital, all the test records conducted by the N-0 unit would be stored on the Defense Force server. Although medical records were treated as confidential for the safety of ability users, it wasn’t as if there was no one who could access the data. Someone with a rank like Major General Bismarck could easily view it.
“I believe that no matter how careful we are, it will eventually come to light. Even if we’re lucky enough to only reveal that we’re name partners, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ll be in danger.”
A bitter smile appeared on Iberis’s lips. This was an anxiety he had harbored since learning that Lucas was his name partner. He would protect him so that no one could harm him, but accidents always happen suddenly.
Lucas was already being targeted by enemies just for being his pair guide. If it was revealed that they were name partners, he would attract even more attention than now. If they were imprinting partners, it would be even worse.
So rather than pretending to be able to protect Lucas perfectly at all times and letting his guard down, it was better to be cautious about everything like a coward.
Some might find Iberis’s attitude frustrating, but having witnessed countless deaths, he couldn’t ignore the possibility of unforeseen misfortunes.
“I’m afraid of your health deteriorating due to a failed imprinting, of you being in danger after a successful one, and of leaving you alone in the distant future…”
Iberis, who had listed his reasons for opposing imprinting one by one, let out a small sigh. He felt sorry, knowing how much Lucas must have agonized before making this proposal. Just looking at the documents on the table, he could sense Lucas’s struggles and efforts.
But still, refusing was the right thing to do. The shock of losing a name partner lover would be better than losing an imprinting partner lover.
“So, let’s end this conversation here. It’s not like I’ll have immediate problems if we don’t imprint…”
Iberis tried to steady his wavering heart as he brought the conversation to an end. A heavy silence fell between the two.
“…Um, I’m going to get some water.”
Iberis, who had been watching Lucas’s hardened expression, stood up as if trying to escape. At that moment, a strong force grabbed his wrist and pulled him sharply.
“Luke?”
Iberis’s eyes widened in surprise as Lucas suddenly embraced him, throwing him off balance.
“I’ve heard your opinion, Major.”
Lucas, his face buried between Iberis’s chest and stomach, spoke in a low voice. He acknowledged his own arrogance. While he had recognized in his mind that Iberis would oppose, deep in his heart, he had arrogantly assumed that Iberis wouldn’t truly reject him.
After all, until now, even though Iberis had always shown reluctance at first, he had always accepted him in the end.
That’s why he thought it would be the same this time. But to his surprise, Iberis showed unprecedented firmness and stubbornly rejected Lucas’s proposal. Shocked by this, Lucas was momentarily stunned, but he couldn’t back down now.
“Even so, it’s not right to end the conversation by flatly refusing without listening to anything I have to say.”
“What?”
“You say we can’t do it because our job is dangerous? That everyone will find out when we report the matching rate? Then we could quit the military before that. You’re worried about me being left alone? Then can’t you just stay with me for a long, long time?”
Lucas countered each point Iberis had made earlier. Even though he knew it was like a child throwing a tantrum, he couldn’t stop himself.
“Wait, Luke. You’re getting too excited…”
“And why do you talk as if it’s a given that you’ll leave me behind, Major?”
Iberis, who was trying to calm Lucas down, hesitated at this piercing question.
“If, as you say, the probability of me being exposed to danger increases, isn’t it equally possible to imagine a future where you’re left alone?”
“That’s…”
“I understand that you’ve been sick for a long time and even received a terminal diagnosis, so it’s understandable that you think about what happens after you die… but it’s a really bad habit to always assume you’ll leave my side. It makes my heart sink every time…”
“…I’m sorry.”
Realizing his mistake at Lucas’s protest, Iberis quickly apologized. On this point, he had no defense, even if he had ten mouths.
“If I were to make an excuse, I’ve lived a life on the brink of death, crossing the line between life and death for over 10 years. Even when I first met you, I was in a condition where it wouldn’t have been strange if I died at any moment…”
“I know. But there’s no set order to losing one’s life. So don’t assume you’ll definitely die first.”
“Okay, I won’t.”
“Also, while I understand what you’re worried about… whether we imprint or not, the outcome for me after losing you to death will be the same.”
Lucas raised his head and met Iberis’s eyes. In his childhood, his parents were his world. So when he had to say goodbye to them forever, the child’s world collapsed once.
The boy whose life was ruined overnight lived a lonely and bleak life like an endless winter. Then he met Iberis, who had similar pain. He was the spring that Lucas, consumed by revenge, had regained, and his salvation.
How could he maintain his sanity without him? If he lost Iberis, he would probably never rise again.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
